Chapter 5 #2
Before I jump in headfirst at the first choice I am getting to make in my life, I have to figure out if I’ll be able to continue on without him once he’s no longer protecting me.
“Stop thinking so hard.” I can feel his smile against my lips.
“Could we do this more?” I barely breathe the words past my lips, terrified of the rejection.
So when he says, “We can do it as often as you like,” I sigh with relief and melt further into him.
For the rest of the morning, we sit with Marilyn, so she’s not lonely. Shaw asks me questions about my life and who I think would want to hurt me, and we kiss until we’re both breathless.
By the time a vehicle can be heard rumbling into the driveway, I’m so relaxed that when the panic over my mother and stalker bombards me, I pass out with the swiftness of my fear.
* * *
Shaw
At the vehicle coming down the road that leads to my ranch, I can see that it’s Rita’s red jeep, and so I don’t move. What I don’t expect is for Monroe to freeze with terror then pass out in my lap. Checking her pulse, I can feel that she’s fine, but her mind is so fucked up.
“I’m back!” I hear Rita call, and as she roams around back, likely having seen us making out like teenagers as she pulled up, she drops the bags in her hands at Monroe's state and runs over. “Is she alright?”
“Yeah. She’s got a lot going on in her mind, and if I had to guess, it’s because of her mother.” If I weren’t such a good guy, I’d kill the fucking bitch.
“She’s gone, right? Back to whatever hole she crawled out of?” Rita’s always been a mother hen to anyone she views as wounded. And Monroe is as wounded as they come.
“Yeah, I told her she wasn’t allowed back here. Hopefully, she listens.” Carrying Monroe inside, I head to my office where I have paperwork waiting for me and a couch for the sleeping beauty in my arms to rest on.
Laying her down, I carefully remove her shoes before grabbing the afghan off the back of the sofa and placing it over her body. Stepping back, I watch her sleep for a moment, wondering how often she gets a full night of peaceful rest.
I know that last night, she was pacing around her room most of the time, and then she woke up this morning with the asinine plan to scar herself. Scrubbing a hand down my face, my scruffy beard scrapes my palm, and frustration begins to eat at me.
I have never messed around with someone I was protecting before, and I don’t intend to begin now. I need to figure out who is after Monroe before I can begin to find out how she feels about exploring this connection between us.
Sitting behind my desk, I pull up the spreadsheet I need for the steers the ranch is selling next week.
When I moved to Eagle Rock and bought this ranch from an old man looking to retire, I inherited his entire livestock as well as his clients.
Most of his cattle have been sold for meat and some of the heifers and bulls for breeding.
I’m working at selling them all off in the next year or two, so I can run a therapy ranch.
The main focus will be horses that accommodate individuals with special needs that wouldn’t be able to ride just any old mare.
I’m also including smaller livestock too.
Goats, llamas, and pigs will be separate for those who are interested in learning about them.
Now that I know how soothing Marilyn is to Monroe, she’ll be staying as well. I doubt that I was going to sell her to begin with.
It’s going to be a while before the ranch opens because I need specially trained horses that I make sure are a good fit with my visions.
But I’ve spent a long-ass time saving for this, and my parents have even invested, helping me to make it a success.
And with a solid plan in place, I know that one day, it will be.
If I can convince Monroe to give me a chance, I think she’ll be an essential part of it too.
After arranging for the cattle to be picked up late next week, I get back to looking through Monroe’s file as I wait on the email from Draven about her father.
As tight-lipped as she has been so far, I worry that there is something even more tragic that happened in her past. Not much shocks me anymore, but after all I’ve learned about how competitive the pageant circuit is, I get the feeling that I might be soon enough.
“I wanted to go to the salon so I could change my hair.” Monroe’s soft voice has my eyes lifting to see her watching me.
Staring at her blonde locks, I frown, not understanding. “Why?”
“Blondes win more. I haven’t seen my natural color since I was five.” Is that even legal?
“What if I can get someone to come out here?” I really don’t want to take her into town. Eagle Rock may not be large to some, but it’s big enough that she just might be recognized.
“I’d really appreciate it.” She sits up, still looking a little pale, and crosses her legs.
I watch her for a few minutes, and I think it makes her uncomfortable because she squirms and finally says, “Fear consumed me when I heard the vehicle. I don’t even know why.
Half the time, I don’t make sense to myself, and I can’t stop my response. ”
“You had a panic attack.” She nods. “You know that’s okay, right? You won’t be punished for having feelings here.” She nods again, but I don’t think she gets it. Not really.