Chapter 5 #2
I didn’t like feeling as if I might not fit in already, and I hadn’t even met the other professors, other than during my interviews and through online meetings.
Patrice left me after walking me to my lab, a place filled with a few items from the previous professor, but now I would make my own.
I rolled my shoulders back and turned as the door opened and my team walked in.
I had chosen my team without ever having met them in person.
Coming in as a professor trying to build a team for papers and books and research that would help the world of nuclear physics wasn’t easy.
I wasn’t bringing anyone with me, as some people did.
My former professor had actually brought the postdoc with them as a former grad student, and at least they’d had a ready-made team with the two of them.
I was starting nearly from scratch.
“Hi there, Dr. Adler,” Randall said as he set down his messenger bag.
Randall was my postdoc, who had a year left under his contract before he would start looking for jobs, in the private sector, industry, or as an associate professor at some other university.
He could do many things once he left this university and his place with me, but for the next year, he was my partner.
“You can call me Brooke while it’s the group of us,” I said as I smiled at the rest of my team.
Jennifer was a fourth-year grad student who had worked under the previous professor, and instead of moving to a group that could have accommodated her so she could finish her previous research, she decided to work with me.
My research didn’t follow the same path that hers had, but I was going to tailor-fit what she had been working on with what I had so that she could develop a doctoral thesis and presentation within the next two years.
If she had been a fifth-year grad, I would have hoped her professor would have at least waited for her to graduate, but thankfully we didn’t have to deal with that.
She and Randall would be the leaders for my team.
Randall would also be working with me for my class since it was a team effort to make sure that a GEN Ed class of introductory physics, which had over three hundred students per class, actually knew what they were doing.
The last remaining member of my team was Hannah, a second-year grad who had changed focus after the previous year.
“Hello, Jennifer and Hannah,” I said, going to my laboratory desk. “I know we haven’t been here that long, but I am excited that we will be working together.”
“It’s good to see you in person,” Jennifer said as she sat down at her desk.
“I totally agree,” Hannah added.
“I know I missed the introductions to the next wave of grad students that are going to be coming here in the next week, but soon they’re going to be doing the rounds where we will get to put on our best faces and hope that they want to work with us in the lab.”
“Of course they are going to want to work with us. We’re going to kick ass,” Jennifer said with a grin.
“That’s what I want to hear. I know we already went over a few things that we’re going to start next week, and I have about forty-five minutes before I need to head home. So, do you guys have any questions?”
“So, you don’t expect us to stay too late every evening?” Hannah asked.
I shook my head. “As long as the work gets done and we are there for each other when we need to be, I don’t expect you to work until one in the morning.
And I’m going to be honest, all three of you know that I’m a single mom.
I may have help, but I can’t expect her to stay overnight so that I can get some research done that would be better served after a few hours of sleep and lots of coffee. ”
All three of them nodded as we went over the next steps of what we needed to do in the next couple of weeks.
I was going to ensure that everybody that worked for me understood that being able to sleep during grad school led to better decisions.
I didn’t want my students in undergrad or grad school to be strung out, unhealthy, exhausted, and a mess to be around.
Luke was also my first priority, beyond my career or anything I was doing in the physics world. He knew that, and my team would soon know that if they hadn’t already figured it out. If anybody had a problem that I was a single mom, they were going to have to deal with it.
But, so far, things were working out. We went over a checklist, and I knew I would be emailing them soon, but for now I wanted to get home and see my kiddo.
Once we were done in the lab, I followed them out to my office to gather my things.
I’d spent the morning downtown, reliving my youth and memories that continued to assail me, the afternoon getting Luke from kindergarten, set up with his nanny, and getting settled at DSU.
This evening I would spend time with my favorite person in the world.
And not think about Leif. Apparently, I wasn’t doing a very good job about that because it was all I was thinking about. Over and over and over again.
I slid my belongings into my leather bag, grabbed my purse, and headed toward my door.
A man in trim slacks, a dark Henley, and a wicked grin leaned against my doorway. His chestnut hair was longish, a lock of it trailing over his forehead. He had deep-green eyes and slight stubble over his chin.
He also did nothing for me, unlike Leif.
Well, crap.
“Brooke, correct?” the man in front of me asked, and I did my best not to stiffen. Because now I knew exactly who this was.
“Dr. Adler, yes. You must be Dr. Cunning.” I held up my hand, and he looked down at it for a minute before giving me a tight and formal handshake.
“You can call me Landon if you’d like. I can call you Dr. Adler if that is what you prefer.”
I grinned at him and tried not to feel weird. To be honest, he would’ve creeped me out just with the way he was looking at me, even without Patrice’s warning. But because I had been forewarned, I wasn’t going to let him get away with trying to put me off my stride.
“You know us, doctors, we spent so much time trying to get those letters, we tend to like them. But I can call you whatever you’d like. Landon or Dr. Cunning.”
“I guess going by doctors works. Although if anyone asks us if we know a doctor while we’re sitting in a restaurant and somebody’s choking, they better not look to us, right?”
“Hazards of the job, I guess. Anyway, I’m headed out. It is so nice to meet you. I’m sure I’ll see you around the halls.”
He looked at my office with a proprietary gaze, and I wanted to kick him out, but I had to be better than him.
I needed to show him that I was the person for this job and that he didn’t have to act like a peacock strutting down the hallway.
It was the only way to get things done. It was what I had learned in every situation I had ever been in when someone didn’t feel like I was qualified for the place I was in.
He would learn that I was far smarter than he thought I was. And that I wasn’t the bitch he wanted me to be.
“Let me take you out for a drink.” He grinned, acting so smooth, as if I hadn’t seen that anger in his gaze for an instant. “To welcome you to the university.”
“I need to head home, but thank you. Maybe a group of us can go out for drinks soon.”
There was no way I would be going out for a drink alone with this man. Ever.
“Sounds like a plan. I’ll see you around, Brooke, I mean, Dr. Adler.” He winked before he strolled away, going to talk with an older professor with salt-and-pepper hair that I recognized from the chemistry department from when I was a student.
I shook my head and told myself I just imagined the hostility even though I knew I hadn’t, even a little bit.
Not the perfect way to start my first day, but considering it wasn’t my first full day at the university, I wasn’t going to count this.
I made my way to my car and headed home, knowing that May and Luke would be waiting for me.
I pulled past May’s car into my garage, and practically threw myself out of my SUV, wanting to see Luke.
Though I had worked long hours before, and it wasn’t as if this was the first time he had ever been with a caretaker other than me, we had been spending so much time together lately.
I just wanted to see my little boy. Yes, I had seen him after his half-day of school so I could hug him right as soon as he got out, but it was only for a few moments before I had had to go to work and leave him alone without me.
I missed my little boy, and I hated not being able to be with him every single moment of every single day.
But hopefully, I would get better at this.
Or at least get back into the hang of it.
“Mommy!” Luke called as he ran to me. I went down to my knees, tossed my things on the floor, and hugged him close, inhaling that little boy scent that was all my son.
He started talking a mile a minute about his afternoon with May as if I hadn’t seen him a couple of hours ago. For some reason, my eyes stung, and I swallowed hard before I looked up at the woman with straight black hair, green eyes, and a sweet smile.
May waved. “Today has gone amazing. I’m so happy that we’re having as much fun as we are. I can go over exactly what happened today, or maybe we can do that tomorrow? That way you can have the rest of the evening with the kiddo?”
It was as if she read my mind. Yes, I wanted to go through everything in detail because I was that anal-retentive, and I knew it would be helpful for our relationship, so we were always on the same page. But I also wanted time with my son.
So I nodded, said my goodbyes as May hugged Luke tight, and then I sat down on the floor right next to my son and heard about his day in detail once again, and knew that even though this had been a hard decision, it had been the best one.
Even though I had no family here, no connections, it was better for us to move back to Colorado.
Luke was my family, my connection.
When we heated up dinner—casserole thanks to Lake—I couldn’t help but think of Leif, and the fact that Montgomerys seemed to be closing ranks around me, even though they hadn’t meant to, and I hadn’t even realized it was happening.
Everywhere I went, I seemed to bump into a Montgomery.
There were probably a couple at the university for all I knew.
Either as students or professors. I would have to check into that.
Or I could just ignore it because it didn’t matter.
Of course, my phone lit up at that moment, an unfamiliar number gracing the screen.
Unknown number:
This is Leif. You gave me your number all those years ago, and I kept it. I hope this is still you.
I swallowed hard. I had ignored the texts between us all those years ago because I’d been so angry. And deleted his contact information.
I never blocked him.
Luke was coloring in his favorite superhero coloring book, and I knew that I only had a few minutes before I had to get him ready for bed, but I swallowed hard and picked up my phone.
Me:
It’s still me.
Leif:
You have no idea how happy I am to hear that. I was really worried I was texting a random stranger.
I don’t know. It’s been a few years. I feel like a stranger.
I hadn’t even meant to type that, but there was no going back now. Leif Montgomery just did that to me.
Leif:
I would like to get to know you. I know that’s a line, and I could probably come up with something better, to flirt better, but I don’t know.
I felt the connection today. And we keep bumping into each other.
That has to mean something. That’s not a line.
Can I take you out? I know you’re busy with your new life, with Luke, but let me take you out.
I should say no. I should walk away and forget him. Just like I had been trying to forget him for ten years.
I had been doing a pretty damn good job of it too, until I moved back and met up with him again.
Not once, but twice.
There was no escaping Leif Montgomery, especially not when his cousin lived next door.
If I said no now, what would happen? Would I stop thinking about him? No, I didn’t think that was possible.
So I did the only thing that made sense to me.
I let out a breath and answered.
Me:
Okay.
I hoped this time I wouldn’t break when it all crashed down around me.