Chapter 6
CHAPTER SIX
Shandy opens the door with a baby girl on her hip and two little boys peeking out from behind her legs.
“Jewel the Fool on my doorstep. Oh, my God! Why do you look the exact same?” She mouths “bitch” so her little ones can’t hear it and I laugh.
This feels right. Feels like coming home to a sister I haven’t seen in far too long.
Damn if Gareth wasn’t right.
Until my mom found me, Shandy felt more like family than anyone.
Jewel the Fool. Only she ever called me that. Not an insult, but a term of endearment earned by my wild, foolish antics. I was a reckless girl. We both were. But I was the fool. Some things don’t change.
She ushers me inside and introduces her brood.
“This is Maclaren. He’s seven and has recently decided he goes by Mac because when you are seven, you can name yourself.
” She winks and turns to the younger boy.
“This is Sterling. He just turned three and is making excellent progress in teaching the cat to talk.” Another wink.
With a hoist of the chubby babe on her hip, she says, “And this is Arden, the baby sister of the bunch and the last of her kind. We. Are. Done.”
“Wow, such grown-up sounding names for such little people.”
“Yeah, well, when they’re actual grown-ups they can thank me for giving them dignified names, unlike Shandy.” She motions for me to follow her beyond the foyer.
“Aw, I still love your name.”
“Easy for you to say with a name like Jewel.” She says my name all breathy, and if I didn’t know Shandy and her sarcastic nature, I might think there was a hint of actual resentment in her voice.
“The fool,” I add, following her into the kitchen. We both laugh.
She gives the boys each a snack bar of some kind and directs them to the sun porch.
I watch them happily skip off through French doors to a miniature table and chairs where they sit obediently.
No hesitation, no considering even for a moment that they could do something other than exactly what they were told.
It doesn’t seem natural for kids to obey so instinctually.
They must get it from their father because their mother would’ve dashed outside, cartwheeled across the yard and into the pool just to prove that she could. Snack bar be damned.
I catch myself redesigning her kitchen in my head. It’s not efficient, no triangle between the stove, fridge, and sink. “Who was your builder?” I ask.
It’s opportunistic but they could use some design input, and I’m never without a business card.
I could drop one off while I’m in town, maybe charm my way into a meeting.
This neighborhood is all custom builds, and how any high-end builder would offer this ridiculous kitchen plan, I don’t understand.
Anyone who would put a dishwasher on the opposite wall from the sink needs me. Desperately.
Shandy beams when she realizes I’m taking in the layout.
“Well, Hargrove built it, but I redesigned the kitchen. A perk of being the wife and daughter of architects. I knew a couple of guys.” She laughs.
“Anyway, I didn’t want my house to be so cookie-cutter, you know?
Especially not the kitchen. Go ahead, give me your professional opinion.
I’ve stalked you a little over the years. ”
She shrugs. “This is your thing, right?”
“It’s got your name all over it. Unique, for sure.” I force a smile.
“My dad hates it. I think Connor does, too, but this house was a condition of our staying married at that point, so I got whatever I wanted. Power of the pussy and all. You want wine?”
At this point, I’m not sure if she’s winking or has a nervous tic that causes her eye to spasm. If having a pussy is the only power she has in her marriage . . . I shake my head to clear the pity that’s rising like smoke.
Granted, I haven’t met Connor, but I’m sure he’s aware all women have that attribute. “Yeah, wine would be great.”
She passes Arden to me as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. I reach to take her and try not to grimace. She’s a beautiful baby, but I don’t do kids. They can sense it, too. This baby is definitely going to start bawling the moment Shandy turns her back.
I brace for the screams. But she doesn’t cry, just clamps her little dimpled hand around my necklace and examines it with wide eyes. She doesn’t yank on it or pull my hair. Oh, God, she’s sweet.
If Shandy had to have a whole passel of kids before she hit thirty, at least she got good ones, I guess.
When the glass hits the table in front of me, I try not to cringe.
It’s a sparkling rosé. As far as wines go, this is like finding black licorice in a box of truffles for me.
And my stomach is completely empty. No good can come of this.
Shandy lifts her glass to toast, and I raise mine as well.
Not the first time I’ve toasted a terrible idea.
“To girls like us,” she says.
Well, fuck. Now I have to drink it. That was our toast way back when—careless girls too damn young to be toasting with anything other than juice or soda. But alcohol was readily available in both our houses, and we had plenty of unsupervised time to drink as much of it as we wanted.
Vodka was our drink of choice back then. Pour some out, replace it with water. Repeat as the opportunity presents itself. Jesus, we thought we were so smart. We had one thing right: we were the same kind of girl.
Not anymore though. Our lives couldn’t be more different.
“We were such idiots,” I say after taking my first sip. “It’s a wonder we made it to adulthood.”
“I wasn’t so wild after you left,” she says. “My mom was thrilled to be proven right.”
“Right about what?”
“That you were a bad influence.”
Yeah, well, I fucked her ex this morning. He doesn’t say hi.
“I never knew your mom felt that way. She was always so nice to me.”
“To your face. She felt sorry for you because your mom was dead, or so we thought at the time, anyway.”
“Yeah, we did think that. For what it’s worth, I wasn’t so wild after I left either. Maybe we were bad influences on each other.”
“I missed you like crazy for sooo long,” Shandy says with a wistful tone in her voice, which seems odd, delivered so hot-on-the-heels of the coldhearted shit she just divulged about her mother’s opinion of me.
I was a kid. A neglected kid, who looked at that woman like a surrogate mom. I loved her. I’m feeling a lot less guilty all of a sudden about her husband’s hand between my legs while she slept off her Ambien down the hall.
“My whole life felt like a bad reality TV show for a long time after I left here, but my mom was the absolute best. She got me therapy, loved me through it, taught me how to survive life’s nasty curve balls.
I should’ve never been taken from her and lied to, but I am so damn lucky I got to have her back in my life.
She was an amazing mom, a genuinely good person, nothing fake about her.
What she showed the world was who she truly was. ”
Dig intended.
“Was? Is she dead for real now?”
I nearly choke on my wine. “Yeah. For real now.”
“Shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be insensitive.” She takes Arden back, and snuggles her as if holding her baby will somehow soften her, atone for her callousness. “I’m sorry about your dad, too. His death, I knew about.”
“His death would’ve been hard to miss around here, I’m sure. Mr. Big Shot.”
“What did his company actually do? I never knew.”
“That makes two of us.”
“Whatever it was made plenty of money. You must be set for life now. Not that you weren’t always.”
“I don’t care about his money. Or his death. My mom died in debt, still trying to pay off what she spent looking for me. The world’s a better place without Donovan Alexander in it. Cheers to the sorry fucker’s cold corpse.”
I down a gulp of the sweet, fizzy wine.
Shandy covers Arden’s ears.
Oh, please. She’s like six months old.
“Sorry. I’m not used to being around kids.”
“It’s hard to believe you’re not married. Jewel Alexander, most beautiful, most charming, most enchanting smile, prettiest eyes. Was there a superlative you didn’t win?”
It hits me that maybe this isn’t Shandy’s first glass of wine today. “None of those were actual awards. I won Friendliest Classmate in the tenth grade. That was it. And it’s Jewel Carrigan now.”
“Oh, you were friendly all right.” She laughs and winks. I kind of want to pluck her eye out at this point. “Hell, we were all just jealous. You had everything anybody could ever want and you got all the attention? It was a lot to take. That’s why everybody always talked so much shit about you.”
“I had nothing, Shandy. My entire life was a lie. Who talked shit about me?”
“Alexa, Teagen, Kara, pretty much every girl in our class. I took up for you as much as I could, but sometimes you were hard to defend. Christ, you had Luis Vuitton luggage in middle school, Jewel!”
“Because my dad decided that’s what his daughter should have. I didn’t even know what Luis Vuitton meant. I wanted Hello Kitty. Did everyone who I thought was my friend back then actually hate me?”
“No one hated you. We all wanted to be you.”
“No, you didn’t. Trust me. I was alone in the world, Shandy. My friends were all I had. Or thought I had.”
“Sure, us and boys. So many boys. I guess the quality of dick has probably improved with age, huh? Still plenty of variety though, am I right?”
She doesn’t bother to cover Arden’s ears for any of that. Hell, she dings the kid’s head with the base of her wine glass as she brings it to her mouth.
“Actually yeah, I’ve had some incredibly high-quality dick recently.” I down the last of my wine. “It’s been great catching up, but I have to go.”
“No, don’t leave. I didn’t mean to be an ass. Come on. Have another glass. Tell me about your life.”
“I really can’t. Thanks for the wine. You have beautiful children, but you should consider a nanny. Seems like you could use some help.”
“Whoa, that sounded bitter. Are you a little jealous of me now?”
“No, Shandy. Jealousy is not at all what I’m feeling. And your kitchen’s a fucking travesty.”
I see myself out, and blink away tears as I back off the driveway and turn up my music. Loud, I need it loud.
My emotions are tangled and my stomach is in knots. Even the few things I thought were sincere about my life here were lies. A speed limit sign flashes a warning at me as I exit Shandy’s ostentatious neighborhood.
Sure, like driving twelve miles over the limit is what I most need to be cautioned about right now. Lucifer himself couldn’t warn me off what I’m about to do. The accelerator submits under my foot.
* * *
Gareth looks up, startled when I burst into his office. He’s not alone. And that won’t do.
“Jewel, hi. Um, this is my son-in-law, Connor.”
My stomach settles a bit. This is Shandy’s husband? Dad bod, premature balding he thinks he’s covering with that shitty combover, and I don’t need to guess what he’s compensating for with that blinged-out watch. Dazzle them with diamonds.
Compared to her father, her husband is a basset hound standing next to a wolf.
“Hi,” I say. “It’s nice to meet you, Connor.”
“Ah, the infamous Jewel. The pleasure’s all mine.” He eye-fucks me on the way out of Gareth’s office, but I know he’s going to text Shandy to let her know I’m here the moment he’s in the hall.
Good boy, Connor. Go fetch your wife’s attention however you can.
Gareth’s expression is wary. “How was your visit with Shandy?”
I stare at him without answering.
“She’s miserable, isn’t she?”
“Entirely.” I reach back to lock the door.
“No. Not here. Too many eyes and ears, but I know what you need, sweet girl.” He grabs his jacket from the back of his chair. “Let’s go.”