Chapter 30
CHAPTER THIRTY
Carley
I was dressed and out of the penthouse within fifteen minutes. Colin hailed me a cab when I got out front, and I managed to make it to the office in decent time. As I make my way to D’s floor, I try to take a few deep breaths and clear my head.
It almost works, but then I feel the heavy envelope in my hand, and I remember what’s in it. And the anger seeps back in. The agony bleeds into my heart. When the elevator doors open, I march across the lobby and don’t falter one step before I make it to his office.
“You fucking asshole!” I shout.
Unfortunately, I didn’t realize he was in a meeting with two other colleagues until it was too late.
Fuck.
The room is blanketed in silence for a few awkward moments before D speaks.
“Uh, Ronald, Lyle, do you mind if we pick this up later?”
“Uhh, ye—yeah,” Ronald can barely get his words out. “That works.”
I move to the side as the two of them walk toward the door to leave. I can’t look at them, so I keep my eyes trained on the floor the whole time.
“Carley?”
When I look up, I’m face-to-face with a very serene looking D. Either he has no idea why I could be this angry or he doesn’t care.
“Do you care to explain this to me?”
I throw the envelope of pictures on the ground at his feet. His confusion is quickly overtaken by the shock of my actions. He reaches down and picks it up. Opening it, he looks at the pictures, stunned.
“Look at the timestamp. You told me you were meeting with your guy. Sure doesn’t look like a guy to me.”
D takes a deep breath and rubs his forehead. Anger sears me from within.
“It’s not what it looks like.”
“Tell me what it is then. Who is she?”
“My ex-wife.”
“Your—your what?”
His ex-wife?
All this time, I thought he’d never been married. I didn’t ask him, but he also never mentioned it. I told him everything about me. My family, my history.
“My ex. Emma.”
As realization hits, I understand her shitty attitude on the phone now. As well as that dumb nickname she used for him.
“Emma. Emma Kersey is your … Oh my god.” I need to sit down. I feel like I’m going to be sick. Clutching my stomach, I walk the two steps to his sofa and take a seat.
“Carley,” D sits next to me and puts his hand on my back.
“Don’t touch me.” I pull away from him.
For the first time ever, I can’t stand the feel of his hands on me.
“The day you showed up here, I asked you if there was anything else I should know before making a decision to give us a chance or not. You said no. Don’t you think this is something you should have told me then?”
He looks at me but doesn’t say anything.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
D shouts, “Because I love you.”
Knowing how much I cared for him until now, hearing him say the words I’ve been thinking, hits me hard. There have been a few times recently, like this morning, when I felt like he was going to say it. Like he ached to say it, but something was holding him back.
Is this it?
The fact that he’s chosen this moment to tell me is fucking bullshit. I don’t know whether or not to believe him. Is he only saying it because he thinks I’ll get over him going to dinner with another woman—no … his fucking ex-wife? Or does he genuinely mean it?
“You’re unbelievable. Did fucking your assistant have something to do with your divorce?”
“No.”
“I don’t believe you. Do you lie to everyone you love…?”
“I’m telling you the truth. She left me for someone else. There’s a lot more to the story than you know, Carley.”
“I can’t imagine why she would want to leave you, D.”
“She was cheating on me, too. Our whole marriage was a fucking disaster. We were completely wrong for one another.”
“I don’t care! I sat in front of you the night you followed me to the club and told you exactly how I felt about liars and cheaters. And you didn’t say one word. You sat there acting like a fucking saint who would never do anything like that.”
“I didn’t. This is what I wanted to talk to you about tonight.
I wanted to tell you before something like this happened, but I was scared.
Carley, I’m a stupid fucking coward who is terrified of losing you forever.
The whole week in Greece, I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you.
I wanted to know you, to spend time with you.
At dinner, I fell in love with your personality.
The night we spent together was one of the greatest nights of my life.
When I woke up and you were gone, it felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest.”
Yeah … he’s told me this story before. The first time I heard it, I practically melted into the marble floor. This time, I still want to melt, but my icy exterior is keeping me in place.
“When Ez called me and told me he found you and who you were, it took me less than thirty minutes to realize I wanted to pick up my entire life and move here so we could be together. I knew then I would do anything to keep you from leaving me again.”
God, why is this so fucking hard? He lied. I’ve been sitting here, listening to him for longer than I should have already. I have a firm no liars and no cheaters policy.
D is both.
My heart is burning, threatening to destroy my resolve. But fortunately, my brain is putting up a tougher fight.
“Well, your plan failed. I don’t ever want to see you again. Consider this my resignation.”
“No! Carley, stop.”
His words cause me to halt, but I don’t turn around and look at him. I can’t.
“Please don’t do this. Don’t leave like this.”
He’s right behind me. I can feel his breath on the back of my neck. I can hear the pain in his voice as tears start to pool in my eyes.
“Carley, please … please don’t give up on us. I was going to tell you tonight, I just wanted to get rid of her and make sure she was gone for good this time.”
I honestly don’t know what to say to him. I deserved the truth when I asked for it. It may not have been a flat-out lie, but a lie by omission stings just as much.
“Carley—”
“Goodbye, Dimos.” I whisper to him over my shoulder with tears in my eyes and a painful crack in my heart.
“This isn’t over, Carley,” I hear him shout just before the elevator doors close, and I leave D’s office for the last time. Hailing a cab, I hop in and pull out my phone to text Saylor. I’m reminded of the last time I felt this way, which was also caused by D.
Me
I’m on my way home. To the APARTMENT. Get out the wine. One bottle won’t be enough.
I ride the entire way home in both silence and disbelief.
* * *
“His ex-wife?” Saylor shrieks.
I just walked in the door, and the moment I laid eyes on her the words practically fell out of my mouth.
“His ex-fucking-wife.”
“Holy shit, you really do need some wine.”
I follow Saylor into the kitchen and sit at the island while she grabs the glasses. With my head in my hands, I close my eyes and try to keep it from spinning. My migraine is back in full force.
“Oh my god,” I scoff. “I should have gone straight back to the penthouse before coming here. I have all my shit there.”
Fuck.
“I’ll help you get it tomorrow while D is at work if you want.”
“Thanks.”
When I hear the front door open, I think it’s D coming to take me back for a moment. I’m stupidly let down when I realize it’s Ren.
“Hey,” Saylor says to him. “I thought you were working.”
She approaches him and plants a kiss on his cheek.
“I’ve been busting my ass for a while now. I told them I was taking a little time off.”
That’s random and weird. Especially after what Saylor just said about him pulling away from her. But maybe she was wrong, and he really has just been very busy.
“Besides, when you told me Carley was moving back in, I thought you girls would probably need some of this.”
Jesus, Saylor moves fast. But she has to. She keeps up with the gossip in this town like no one I’ve ever seen before. People rely on her for it. He holds up the bag in his hand, and I can make out the Ben and Jerry’s label on two pints of ice cream inside of it.
“I didn’t say she was moving back in—I mean, I think maybe she might be—but that’s very sweet of you. Thanks for thinking of us.”
“Yeah, thanks, Ren.”
“Sorry to hear things aren’t going to work out for you and D. He was a pretty cool guy.”
I offer Ren a tiny smile.
“Here’s your wine.” Saylor places a glass on the counter in front of me, but I don’t even want it anymore.
“I’m sorry, I think I’m just going to go lay down. My migraine is back.”
I hop off the stool and walk into my old room, which makes me feel claustrophobic compared to what I was used to at D’s place.
Shutting the door behind me, I crawl into bed and sob.
I hold my pillow to my face to keep the noise from drifting down the hall and into the kitchen.
I don’t want them to know I’m in here, crumbling to pieces.
That my heart hurts so badly, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to love again.
I hear Saylor softly enter the room and shut the door behind her. She crawls into bed and wraps her arms around me.
That’s all I needed to let go and allow my tears to flow freely. For the rest of the day and the entire night that followed, she held me while I sobbed.