Chapter 29
29
AILISH
Ailish couldn’t remember the last time she’d laughed so much in one night. Probably the last time she was here with this same crowd – although the caveat to that was that it all went tits up later on that particular night after her husband was caught out the back door with his mistress and her whole life had been shredded. Tonight, she had no such fears, because it was just delicious food, great cocktails, wonderful friends and absolutely, definitely no impending heart-wrenching betrayal.
Now, as the minutes ticked down towards midnight, their table was more alive than ever with conversation and laughter. To the right of her banquet seat in the huge round booth, Gwen and Rhonda were deliberating the best movies of the nineties ( Titanic , Independence Day , Armageddon – they were leaning slightly towards doom and disaster) with Brodie, who’d been coming here for as long as they had. He’d been at the bar earlier and Rhonda had dragged him over here in what could only be described as a kidnap attempt. Not that Ailish minded, because Brodie had always been one of those men who added great chat to any table. Ailish remembered when he used to come here with his wife, Crystal, who ran off with his business partner a few years back, but he seemed to be over that, because he was currently locked in heated debate with Rhonda and there were gales of laughter coming from their direction.
‘I think we might be witnessing the sweet bud of a new romance,’ came the whispered comment from the right of her. ‘Or, at least, a mad, potentially kinky one-night stand, because it is Auntie Rhonda.’
A giggle escaped, before Ailish could stop it. ‘Emmy Minette Ryan, that’s a scandalous thing to say about my lifelong friend.’
Emmy picked the cherry off the top of Ailish’s cocktail and popped it into her mouth, but she still managed to murmur, ‘True, though.’
There was an edge to Emmy’s tone that made Ailish give her daughter a sideways glance. ‘Are you sure you’re okay, darling?’
Emmy’s arrival had been the absolute cherry on top of tonight’s celebration cake, but Ailish couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. Emmy seemed too… flat. That was the best way to describe it. And a couple of times, she’d spotted her daughter biting her lip, the way she’d always done when she was worried or upset. When she was six and lost her cabbage patch doll, she’d chewed it for days.
‘I’m fine, Mum, really,’ Emmy assured her.
It might convince someone else, but not Ailish. No point in pressing the matter though, because Emmy clearly didn’t want to talk about it here. Maybe it was a work thing, Ailish decided. Working on the elderly ward came with such sadness sometimes. Yes, that must be it, because everything else in her daughter’s life seemed to be going so well. She had a lovely group of friends, a job she loved, a wonderful boyfriend.
‘Honestly, Mum, don’t worry,’ Emmy continued to reassure her. ‘Just you get on with having a fab night because you deserve it, especially after… after…’
Now Ailish was really worried. Emmy had suddenly paled, lost her words, closed her eyes and now she was making the most peculiar groan.
‘Oh… hell… no.’
Panicked, Ailish immediately reached for her hand. ‘Emms, are you having some kind of medical issue? Are you feeling faint? Dizzy?’
Emmy managed to lift her eyelids. ‘Sorry, Mum, I should have warned you.’
‘Warned me of what?’ Ailish felt her worry escalating. ‘Are you sick?’ A sudden thought. ‘Emmy, are you… pregnant? That would be amazing. Oh, my goodness!’
‘Mum, I’m not pregnant!’ Emmy hissed. ‘I’m… absolutely fricking raging! I told him not to come here but apparently he couldn’t help himself.’
Ah, that gave Ailish her answer as to why Emmy was out of sorts. She must have had a fight with Cormac, and told him she didn’t want to see him tonight. In her mind, she put her fictional grandchild’s baby-grows back in their drawer.
‘I’m so sorry,’ Emmy said for the second time, confusing Ailish even further. Why would Emmy be apologising about fighting with her boyfriend? What was she missing here?
‘Sorry about what, honey?’
Emmy was staring right past her now. ‘Sorry about him.’
Ailish slowly turned her head, focused her gaze, blinked. Then blinked again. And again. Nope, he was still there. Eric Ryan was headed straight for her.
‘Aw bugger, someone give me a fork and bail money,’ Rhonda demanded beside her, and Ailish guessed she’d just spotted him too.
Unlike Rhonda, she was momentarily speechless, so she was glad when Emmy took the lead. ‘Seriously, Dad? Did I not make you promise not to do this tonight?’
‘I know, I’m so sorry, Em. But I just need to speak to your mum for two minutes.’
Ailish felt like she was in some other realm, watching this unfold with detached curiosity. Eric. Her Eric. But he wasn’t that, any more, was he? This Eric’s hair was different, longer, swept back off the face that she’d kissed goodnight every night for three decades. He was unshaven, which was unusual, but somehow it worked on him. If she was being objective, she’d say it gave him a bit of a sexy, rugged edge. But she wasn’t objective because this was the man who’d broken her heart.
‘Ails, can I talk to you for a moment? Maybe outside?’
‘Nope,’ Rhonda answered for her.
Ailish’s questioning gaze immediately went to Emmy, who gave a helpless shrug. ‘Whatever you think, Mum. Up to you.’
No, Ailish decided firmly. She didn’t owe him anything. Not a minute more of her life.
‘Please, Ails,’ he said again, and she felt a chisel start to chip away at her defences. He reached his hand out towards her, and she was painfully aware that everyone at the table – Rhonda, Gwen, Brodie, Emmy – was frozen in time, waiting for her response.
Before she could give it, like some kind of rapid response unit, Dario appeared out of nowhere. With their parents all being so close, Dario and Eric had always rubbed along just fine, so she was surprised by the disgusted glare he was firing Eric’s way now as he asked, ‘All okay, Ailish?’
She wanted to say no, but her deep-rooted, conflict-avoidance habit had programmed her differently. ‘I’m fine, Dario. Eric just… popped in to see me.’
She could see from Dario’s shifting gaze that he was being protective, but didn’t want to overstep his mark. ‘Okay, well shout me if you need anything at all,’ he said, pointedly, before switching attention to his friend. ‘Brodie, can I have a quick word in the office?’
Brodie nodded, and slid out of the booth. They both headed away from the table in the direction of the kitchen, but not before Dario threw Eric another piercing stare.
On any other day, Ailish would ponder the reason for that, but right now she was already up to her neck in an ex-husband confrontation.
And the ex-husband’s hand was still outstretched, waiting for hers. Almost without conscious thought, her own hand rose towards it, and as they touched, she felt a charge of electricity that almost undid all the spectacular work that Roxy had put into her hair.
As she rose, she heard Gwen ask, ‘Are you sure, Ails?’ Ailish managed a nod that said yes. Maybe. No. Yes. Possibly.
Gwen took it as a yes, but Ailish could feel several sets of eyes on them as she followed Eric to the nearby alcove, which contained a dessert trolley and the banjo that Gino often played after midnight, so they sidestepped those.
Eric turned to face her, and she realised his hand was still holding on to hers, and meanwhile, her hand was ignoring all commands from her brain to pull away. Eventually, her brain gave up and diverted to the memory section, throwing up images of the times they’d been here before. Eric had asked her to marry him right in this spot, and they’d kissed in this little alcove until Gino interrupted them because he needed two tiramisu and his banjo. On the night she’d told him she was pregnant with Emmy, they’d stood in here and he’d promised to be the best dad he could be to their child. And only a few years ago, shortly after she’d turned fifty, he’d gently pulled her in here at midnight, told her that marrying her was the best thing he’d ever done and that he couldn’t wait to grow old with her. Exactly two years later he had a mistress who told her differently.
‘Thank you for speaking to me,’ he said earnestly. ‘You look amazing, Ails. Stunning.’
‘I haven’t got long,’ Ailish immediately countered, quietly chuffed at the compliment, but playing it cool while trying to make sure he knew this wasn’t all on his terms and that she wasn’t just jumping because he snapped his fingers.
‘Okay, I’ll be quick. The thing is…’ He took a deep breath and then his exhalation brought a torrent of words with it. ‘Ailish, I’m so sorry. For everything. I’ve been such a prick and so bloody stupid. I’ve known almost from the start that I’d made a huge mistake, but then it just all exploded and it was too late to fix it. Next thing I knew, we were over and I was with Donna and…’
What was he saying? That he’d never wanted them to split up? That he regretted the whole affair?
‘You’ve been with her for over two years, Eric,’ she challenged him, drily. ‘That doesn’t sound like a brief error of judgement.’
‘You’re right. I think it just all got out of control and then I’d made my bed…’
‘Her bed,’ she said cattily. Jesus, she sounded like Rhonda.
‘Yes,’ he conceded, clearly embarrassed. Her unusually confrontational manner was pushing him right on to the back foot. ‘But like I said, it was a mistake. I can’t do it any more. I’ve ended it. Moved out. It’s over.’
Wow, she almost reeled from the shock of that. In no world had she seen that coming.
‘And I know I messed up so badly, but if we can put the last two years to one side, just for a second…’
Ailish’s mind was still on the news of his break-up. How did she feel about that? Relieved? Vindicated? Actually, just really, really fricking furious. Although, maybe a bit vindicated too.
He was still speaking. ‘…Then you can’t deny that we had thirty really happy years together. That has to say something?’ he implored.
‘It says you shouldn’t have left me for someone else,’ Ailish blurted, unable to stop herself from pointing out the obvious.
‘You’re right! And if I could go back, I swear, Ailish, I would change that. I honestly don’t know what the hell happened to me. I can’t expect you to forgive me, but all I’m asking is that you could find a way to at least be open to talking again and see where we go from there. I’ll do whatever you need me to, just to get you back. Please. I love you, Ailish. I always did. I just screwed up and forgot it for a minute. But I truly do. I love you.’
He loved her. He loved her. He. Loved. Her. Oh dear God, what were her insides doing? Her heart was thudding so fast, she was feeling giddy. Wasn’t this what she had thought about for two solid years now?
Rhonda’s question from earlier replayed in her mind.
‘What about Eric? If he ever came knocking on your door again, how would you feel? Would you consider taking him back?’
She now knew at least part of the answer. Stunned. That’s how she’d feel. As well as shocked and scared and all over the place.
All her intelligent, profound, meaningful words were stuck in her windpipe, so she could only manage, ‘I need… to… to… think about it.’
‘I totally understand. Take your time. Think about it. I saw Mum on my way in, so I’m going to go sit with her for a bit. But, Ailish, I want to start the new year with you. New page. New chapter. Please say yes.’
As she walked back towards her table, her thoughts were exploding like the fireworks that would light the city sky at midnight. Did she want him back? She’d loved him so, so much for all of those years.
They’d had a life together. A history.
And she couldn’t ignore the tiny part of her that wanted to make it their future too.