26. Will
WILL
“What the fuck just happened?” I mutter to the empty room.
I look back and forth between the bed and the open door Porter disappeared through, feeling like I just experienced whiplash.
One moment I was enjoying the post-orgasmic bliss of the hottest sexual encounter of my life, and he was asking about doing it again.
Then the next Porter was acting as if it hadn’t happened.
Or, maybe that’s not the right word because he wasn’t denying anything, but he was so fucking casual about it that it left me questioning if he enjoyed it at all.
Did he not enjoy it as much as I did?
Is this what the girls I’ve hooked up with felt like when I immediately left after sex?
No wonder I’ve taken multiple drinks to the face.
I’ve never experienced this restless feeling after a hookup before, like I’m desperate to do whatever it takes to make it happen again.
I want to do so much more with Porter. I want the repeat he taunted when we were in our post-orgasm haze.
But was that his typical teasing, or did he really mean it?
Doesn’t he understand that was one of the greatest things that’s ever happened to me? Did I do something wrong?
Fuck.
I guess I just have to follow his lead. He didn’t say he regretted it or anything negative.
He simply stated the dare was over. So maybe I can dare him again?
He seemed really into it in the moment, so I don’t feel like I’d be completely out of bounds suggesting we do it again.
I just need to wait for the right moment.
Make sure he understands how much I enjoyed it and that I want to do more because after that, I need to touch him.
Feeling slightly better now that I’ve settled on that plan, I do my best to clean myself up with my discarded underwear and grab clean clothes to put on after my turn in the shower.
Porter returns wrapped in a towel, and as much as I want to protest him putting anything else on, when he says, “Bathroom’s all yours,” with a big smile, I follow his lead and just respond, “Thanks.”
It’s the fastest shower of my life while still getting clean, and when I’m out and dressed, I find Porter standing in front of the open fridge, an arm holding one side of the French doors open.
I walk up right behind him, crowding into his personal space as I put my arm above his on the same door and look over his shoulder at what’s inside.
I lean in to ask right next to his ear, “What would you like?”
Porter shivers, probably at my breath on him. He looks up at me over his shoulder. “I already took the steak out, if that works for you? And by that I mean if you’ll grill it. I have no desire to do that, which is why it’s the only meat left in the fridge.”
I smirk thinking about him and Josie avoiding grilling it all week. “I’d love to cook for you.”
He inhales, then closes his mouth like he’s changed his mind about responding.
Instead he spins to duck under my arm and heads over to sit at one of the barstools at the island.
“Great, I’ll just sit here and look pretty.
” He rests his elbows against the counter and props his head in his hands in what I think is meant to be an innocent pose as he flutters his lashes at me.
I bite my bottom lip to hold back a laugh.
I’m relieved he seems to be his normal, playful self again.
Hopefully that’s a good sign and means he doesn’t regret the dare.
That he might be open to a repeat. I end up staring at him for a long moment before I finally respond. “Perfect. You’re so good at it.”
His eyes flash with what I really hope is desire, and I decide not to push my luck just yet. Porter needs to eat something before I even think about asking for another round, and I love being the one cooking for him and taking care of him.
I wish he’d let me take care of him after the dare, but maybe he was feeling vulnerable after being so exposed like that with me for the first time. Maybe if there’s a next time, he’ll feel more comfortable.
I look through the rest of the food in the fridge.
There aren’t a ton of options with it being the last night here.
Porter told me not to bring anything either, but I’m able to find enough for a full meal, so I’m happy.
I ask Porter more about the town he and Josie visited while I prep everything, and when it’s time to grill, he follows me outside, and I tell him more about my spring break trip.
We go back inside to eat and continue our very pleasant and normal conversation that’s not about anything important.
The entire time, I find myself reading into things in a way I never have after a hookup before.
I can’t shake the feeling that I’m being a little too polite, too careful, and I can’t tell if he’s acting any differently from before we saw each other naked.
I promised Porter nothing would come between us, and I’m worried I’ve already fucked up.
“Let’s watch a movie,” I suggest when we’re finished eating, and I’ve put the dishes away.
“Sure.” Porter moves to the couch in the living room, and for the first time since we got here, I wish we were back on campus.
I’d love to have the excuse of his comfortable bed right now to snuggle up next to him.
He sits on one end, leaning against the armrest to stretch his feet out and pulls up a streaming service on the TV.
I hesitate for a moment before sitting on the opposite end facing the TV.
He glances at me with an unreadable expression. “Do you care what we watch?”
“Nah, whatever you want.” I shrug. I have a feeling I’ll be too distracted to pay attention anyway.
The movie starts, and I was right, all I can focus on is Porter.
I’m hyperaware of his every movement. Does he not feel the tension between us that I do?
How is he being so casual after what we did today?
I’m desperate to touch him in any way that I can.
It doesn’t even feel like a desire at this point.
I think I need it. At the very least, I need reassurance that he isn’t upset with me, that maybe, just maybe, he wants to do more than just put on a show for me.
I clear my throat and turn to him. “I’ve got to be honest, it’s weird watching a movie and being so far away from each other.”
“Missing my bed again?” he teases, and even though I’d had that thought, it was just for the excuse to be near him. Does he not understand how amazing he is? Do I need to be more clear about how into him I am?
“I like being close to you,” I admit with a shrug, then I drop my tone suggestively, deciding to go for it as I add, “I’d like to be a hell of a lot closer.”
He lets out a short, disbelieving laugh.
Okay, I definitely wasn’t convincing enough earlier with how attracted to him I am if he’s questioning that. “Do you not believe me?”
He rolls his eyes, and I want to grab his jaw and force him to look at me, but I hold back.
I can’t come on too strong. I still don’t know if he wants anything else to happen, if he’s as into me as I am him, or if what happened earlier between us was about circumstance for him.
I hate the thought of him turning me down, but at this point, I have to risk it.
Not trying to do more with him tonight doesn’t feel like an option.
I’m practically vibrating with my need for him.
“What is it you don’t believe, Porter? Because I haven’t heard a single word of this movie. I’m far too distracted trying to think of ways I can see you naked again.”
His jaw drops open as he stares at me with wide eyes.
“Do you need me to dare you again?” I suggest.
After what feels like the longest wait of my life, that question finally earns a small smile. He gives me a slow once-over. “And what would you be daring me to do this time?”
I don’t hesitate. “You know I’ve never been with a man before. I dare you to show me what I’ve been missing.”
He sucks in a sharp breath. I feel like a virgin all over again, but I also trust Porter completely. I’ve never wanted something, someone, this badly while being this unsure of what might happen next. My heart is pounding against my ribs, and I’m terrified I’m going to fuck this up.
Maybe I should’ve let it go, or maybe we need to talk more about what happened earlier, but taking things slow right now feels impossible.
I’ve been living my life assuming I knew what sex was supposed to be like for me, and yeah, I’ve been questioning things for weeks now, but seeing him naked earlier felt like an answer that inspired a million more questions.
“Well,” he finally says after mulling it over, breaking through the tension. “You’ve probably been missing out on a lot. Why don’t you tell me exactly what you want to do with another man?”
I consider it for a moment because, as much as I do want him to show me everything, it’s probably smart to ease into things rather than immediately request he show me what it’s like to have something in my ass.
So I try to think about specifics when I answer. “I want to touch you. Everywhere. But especially your dick.”
“Well, I won’t say no to that. Go ahead, touch me,” he responds with a bratty edge to his tone.
I don’t hesitate, eager to close the space between us.
Porter stretches out across the couch, and I reposition myself so my knees are on either side of his, supporting my weight as I straddle his legs.
I pull the band of his sweats down just enough to expose the “lucky you” tattoo on his hip.
My fingers graze over the ink, and a jolt of lust goes straight to my cock. “I love this tattoo.”
“Yeah?” he murmurs.
“Yeah,” I repeat, running my fingers over it again before I move down to bite it.
He lets out a surprised groan, and I can already see how hard he is, his thin sweats doing nothing to hide his erection. I’ve hardly touched him, and he’s reacting so strongly to me. It’s intoxicating to witness his arousal.