Chapter 5 #2
“Better take two cars,” I mused. “Have an exit strategy just in case. Liv just might leave your ass behind.”
“No shit,” he chuckled. “Might need a deputy on standby. Think your cousin could give us a hand?”
“Not if you want to keep that shit quiet.” My cousin, Beau Campbell, was one of the biggest gossips in town. When he wasn’t on duty at the Sheriff’s Office, he was usually at some book club in town with our grandma, chatting up all the old ladies and making them blush.
“On second thought, I think I’ll pass. Don’t need to watch him drool over Liv, and then hear about it all over town.”
“Dad, who’re you talking to?” Harper rounded the corner, a crumb-filled paper plate in one hand, and an empty soda can in the other.
“Uncle Lukas. Wanna say hi?” I asked, holding the phone out for her to take. She nodded and I took the trash from her, throwing it away quickly before heading out of the kitchen. I needed to get ready for work and my buddy could talk anyone’s ear off, even my introverted daughter.
I walked into the bathroom and took a good look at myself before brushing my teeth.
It had really chapped my ass when Olivia had called my appearance out.
Her voice was cold, words slicing deep. It would’ve felt better if I just laid down and let her kick the shit out of me.
What did it matter at that point? I was already hanging on by a thread.
What hurt most of all was that she was right. I looked like a goddamn mess.
It’d been over a week since I last shaved.
My stubble had grown into the makings of a beard.
I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d cut my hair, which was normally hidden under a ratty old baseball cap anyway.
My clothes were stained because I’d forgotten to start the laundry the night before, and had to dig through the pile until I found something halfway decent.
I hadn’t noticed the stain until we were already on our way to the game.
By that time, it was already too late to change.
“Dad? Someone’s outside.” Harper’s soft voice sounded from the other side of the thin, wooden door.
“Alright, sugar. I’m coming.” Giving myself a final onceover in the mirror, I sighed and opened the door.
My daughter’s hair was still tangled from riding home with the windows down in my truck.
It was early spring, which meant the weather was still nice enough to enjoy the cool mountain air without feeling like you were suffocating.
There weren’t many similarities between my daughter and me.
Her fair complexion and auburn hair were all her mother.
The two things she had were my eye color—a green so light and cutting that it often resembled gray—and my quiet demeanor.
Our introverted tendencies were often a hindrance now that it was just the two of us.
It was one of the reasons I liked her spending so much time with Charlie.
That girl could get Harper giggling and laughing like no one else.
“Did you see who it is?” I asked, stepping around her toward the front of the cabin. There was one large window in the living area, but the curtains and blinds were drawn tight.
Harper shook her head, handing me back the phone. “It was dark and the light wasn’t on. I just heard a knock when I was going to my room.”
Pulling back the plaid curtains, I could see that the bar was already packed for a Saturday night.
It was going to be an all-hands-on deck situation.
Sawyer, my bartender, usually covered the rowdy crowd until it got dark.
Then I’d lock up and walk over to finish the shift while she graciously watched Harper.
It wasn’t an ideal arrangement, but it was what we had.
It was why I preferred when Harper spent Saturday nights with Charlie and her family, but that went to hell the minute Olivia crashed in and changed our plans.
“Who’s out there?” Harper asked.
“No one that I can see. You sure you heard a knock?”
She rolled her eyes. “Yes, Dad. I know what I heard.”
“Okay, okay.” I held my hands up. The attitude was something new, but I didn’t mind. Not if she was talking to me. “Guess it could’ve been one of the tree limbs knocking against the roof. Might need to go out tomorrow and take a look.”
Harper shrugged and silently trudged back to her room. I turned just in time to see her close the door. She’d been quiet since we left the grocery store. More reserved. During lunch, she’d hardly said two words to me. Just sat and ate her sandwich quietly like I wasn’t even there.
She’s ashamed of you.
You’re never here.
She wishes she was with her mom.
She doesn’t love you.
Vicious words and cruel taunts filled my head as they always did when we had a day like this.
I struggled with fatherhood more than I ever wanted to admit.
Struggled to connect with any role other than protector and provider in the most basic sense.
When Sarah was here, she could do all the fun shit with Harper that I swore I didn’t have time for.
Now, I was kicking myself in the fucking balls thinking about all the opportunities I’d missed to figure out what else she needed to live the life she deserved.
At the end of the day, I just wanted to be a good dad.
I wanted my daughter to be happy and healthy and full of love.
If she ended up in therapy fifteen years from now, I didn’t want it to be because I was a piece of shit who never showed affection.
I loved that girl with everything I had. Every broken, shattered piece of me.
She was the only reason I was still breathing. My sole purpose.
Heading back to the bathroom, I quickly changed my clothes and combed back my hair before tucking it beneath a hat. I was just gonna sweat my ass off anyway. Plus, it wasn’t like Frank’s was a fancy establishment. Hell, a man came in once wearing nothing but a hospital gown.
Walking over to Harper’s door, I knocked gently. “I’m headed out, sugar. Sawyer will be over in a bit.”
“’Kay, Dad.”
I rested my forehead against the wood and closed my eyes. A two-word response was better than none. I should be grateful I got that much. “Love you. I’ll see you in the morning.”
I waited for a response, but nothing came.
Silence greeted me like a slap in the face.
With a sigh, I turned and made my way to the door.
The last thing I wanted to do was go look over a bunch of rowdy drunks, but I didn’t have another option.
I put my entire savings on the line to buy Frank’s. Letting it go wasn’t an option.
I’d just have to add this day to the pile of other shit days and move the fuck on.
Opening the door, I nearly faceplanted as my feet got tangled up in something on the first step. I turned and stared at the obstacle, cursing under my breath when I realized what it was.
Paper bags overflowing with groceries sat upright at the doorstep. There was a folded card on top, but I didn’t need to read it to know who they were from. Still, curiosity got the fucking best of me. I snatched it up, scanning the neat cursive lines.
Duke,
Dinner’s on me. Hope this is everything you guys needed.
- Liv
P.S. The Fruity Pebbles are for Harper