Chapter 10 #4
I press the heel of my hand against my forehead, urging my heart to calm, my brains to stay together, when all I want to do is fall to my knees in anger.
“Parker, what the fuck are you talking about?” Hayden asks, tone rising in hysteria. “What the fuck is a fall guy?”
“The plan has always been that if cops show up, if anyone starts sniffing around, Jacob takes the fall.” I flinch when Hayden slams his fist into the wall again, only stopping when Dante wraps his arms around Hayden and bodily pulls him away.
I’ve never seen Hayden so angry; he’s always put together, always so fucking calm in the face of the worst possible news.
“Hayden, Jacob knew going in. Why do you think he followed you around?”
Hayden heaves violently and vomits all over the ground. Dante gives me a disgusted look, and I think it’s because of the vomit, but when Reid grabs me and yanks me around, I know it’s because I’ve totally fucked up.
“Hey, watch what you say, you fucking asshat.” Reid shoves his fingers against my chest, boiling with fury. “Jacob protected Hayden because he cared for him, not because he was told to keep him safe.”
“That’s not—”
“Parker,” Mason says, interrupting me. “Come here.”
I reluctantly leave Hayden to throw his fit in Dante’s arms and step over to the other side of the room with Mason. He looks sweaty and flushed, probably from the run, but also from the dilapidated old building we’re in.
“Are you okay? Sorry, what do you need?”
“Parker.” Mason looks so fucking sad, I don’t know what to do. “Parker, are you okay?”
I blink in confusion. “Me?”
Mason steps into my space, close enough I can feel his heat, smell the calming lavender dryer sheet scent of him, and that’s when it hits me.
Jacob’s the fall guy. All of our crimes, every single one of them, will probably fall on him.
When will I see him again? When will I hug him like I did last night?
“Oh my god,” I say with a choked cry.
Mason steps into my space and tightly wraps his arms around me.
We’re both shaking when I wrap my arms around him, burying my face deep against his neck to cry.
I don’t know how long we stand there holding one another.
I don’t know how we get back to the car, but we do.
The sirens have faded, but we pass by the flashing lights on the way to the car, and my stomach turns. Is Jacob still there?
“I’ll drive,” Mason says, holding his hand out in demand for the keys.
I toss him the keys without a second thought.
We all load into the car, me in the passenger seat and the boys each in their own seat in the back.
Hayden keeps making pitiful crying noises.
I feel like a total fucking asshole because all it does is piss me off.
Mason is the most careful driver on the planet, hands at ten and two and going right at the speed limit.
Which is the exact way someone with suspicious intent would drive.
I squirm in my seat as we head in the direction of the building we just fled from.
“Mason, there has to be a different way to get home,” Dante says, voicing what I’m thinking but too afraid to say.
“This is the only way to the main state road that’ll get us back home unless you want it to take over an hour and a half to get back.” Mason’s hands tense on the wheel. “Oh, fuck, a cop just turned around to follow me.”
“Fuck.” Reid glances back. “It’s two cop cars actually.”
“I cannot go to prison,” Mason murmurs, face turning ghostly pale. “What do I do?”
The question is clearly pointed at me. I do the only thing I can think of, which is distracting him from the entire situation.
“Baby, you’ve just got to drive like you normally would. Want to put your D&D podcast on?”
Mason shakes his head. “No. No, it’s fine. I’ll go a little faster.”
Mason steps on the gas so we lurch forward, breezing through the green light, then he turns onto the state road that’ll take us home.
The cops speed up and pass us by, turning on their lights as they hit the gas to head toward their next stop.
Mason lets out a wary sigh and loosens his hands a little, shooting me a grateful smile.
“While I am very grateful we are not joining Jacob in federal prison at the moment, I am very curious why you just called my brother baby.” Reid leans forward in his seat to shoot me a glare. “Would you like to expand on this turn of events, Parker?”
“Reid, I love you, but sit back and shut up,” Mason says in a clear, commanding tone. It would probably turn me on in any other scenario, but right now it just makes me sad.
Reid sits back with a huff, Hayden lets out another mournful whimper, and Dante’s gaze flicks between the two of them like a helpless puppy.
I tug my phone out of my pocket like an idiot, expecting Jacob to have texted or called, but my phone is woefully silent because I’m currently with the only people who would even call me or text me.
When Mason pulls up in front of the house, everyone jumps out, but Mason doesn’t move. His hands are tight around the steering wheel and his lips are a straight line.
“Mace?”
Mason clears his throat. “Listen, I need to go home and shower and take a valium because I’m extremely close to a full-blown anxiety freak-out.
Am I the shittiest boyfriend on earth? Yes, because I can’t even be there for you when your brother has been fucking arrested, but if I don’t do this, then I’ll be worthless to you. ”
I stare at him in shock for a moment, then swallow hard, trying to make sure I say the right thing.
Mason turns his gaze to me and that’s when I see it—he looks like he did that night in the hotel, like life is too overwhelming and he’s shutting every function down until only the essential needs are running.
Opening the car door, I lean my head out, gaining the others’ attention like I hoped. “Everyone back in the car! We’re going to our house.”
Reid lifts an eyebrow. “Your house?”
“Yeah, brat, my house. Get back in the car.”
Mason makes a wounded noise. “Parker, they don’t have to—”
But the guys are already piling back into the car without an argument.
Mason’s face flushes even in the dark, but he stays quiet, just starts the car back up when everyone is buckled in.
Once he parks at the house, everyone hops out again, including me and Mason this time.
I lag behind everyone to ensure they all make it in, then turn check all the cameras to calm my steadily increasing heart rate.
When everything appears clear, I take a cleansing breath of relief.
Everyone toes off their shoes in a close bundle once Mason is done and flees up the stairs. I herd them to the living room like cattle, then stay them with my hands when they go to sit.
“Make sure you’re clean before sitting.”
Reid looks accustomed to it and carefully inspects Dante and Hayden.
With a sigh, he disappears up the stairs real quick, only returning once he’s found a clean flat sheet to toss over the sofa.
Once done, he urges an almost comatose Hayden to sit, and Dante sits beside Hayden, pressing hard against his side.
I kneel before Hayden, but he won’t meet my gaze. “I’m sorry, boss.”
Hayden just purses his lips.
Dante nods toward the stairs. “Go handle Mason. I’ve got these two.”
I stand with a weary sigh and feel actual pain at how distressed Hayden looks.
But like Dante said, I’ve got to make sure Mason is okay now.
I climb the stairs two at a time and seek out Mason in his room.
His clothes are in a pile by the foot of the bed, which is unlike him, so I grab the clothes and put them into the laundry basket in the closet.
As I undress myself, I close my eyes for a brief second to think of Jacob, but I try to trust the process instead of focusing on him.
The bathroom is thick with steam when I finally push in, but I’m relieved to see Mason standing under the water, not in a heap on the ground like I’d feared.
When I approach the shower door, Mason glances over, eyes a little distant, but his lips still tip up slightly at the very sight of me.
When he looks at me like that, I feel like a fucking king.
I join him in the shower and take my hair down from the messy bun he’d done for me earlier.
I should’ve trusted my intuition then. This entire night would be an awful premonition if I had just trusted my gut.
“Mason…”
Mason tugs me under the water and kisses me softly, light, and with no tongue, just a gentle press of mouths that makes me feel known and loved.
He pulls away without a word and hands me the bodywash.
After a few minutes of furious scrubbing, a sleek and slippery Mason dives into my arms to hug me, and that’s when I realize he’s shaking. Oh no.
“Mason,” I say again.
“I’m okay.” Mason lets out a pitiful little sniffle. “It’s all just been soooooo much lately.”
“I know.”
“Jacob’s going to be okay.”
My fingers tighten on Mason’s back for a second. “Yeah.”
When Mason pulls away, his eyes are red-rimmed and puffy, making my heart ache even more. I reach up to wipe his tears away, then kiss his eyes lightly until he’s sighing in satisfaction. We finish washing up, then dry off quietly in the steamy bathroom.
“I’ve got to go back downstairs and deal with them. You’re okay?”
Mason nods while forcefully brushing his teeth. Some toothpaste slips out when he mumbles, “Took some meds already. I’m gonna go to sleep.”
“Can I cuddle you in your sleep?”
Mason’s eyes light up enough without words to tell me that’s okay. I press a kiss to his forehead, then get dressed quickly in the bedroom. What am I going to walk into downstairs? I don’t know. But I can’t delay it because Hayden needs to be tended to and we’ve also got to figure this shit out.
I dress in sweatpants and a T-shirt, feeling beyond wrung out and tired.
The lights are on when I step onto the first-floor landing.
I spot Reid and Dante speaking in hushed whispers on the couch.
I expect to find Hayden with them, but he’s sitting outside in the dark, cradling his still bloody hand.
“Has anyone checked Hayden’s hand?” I ask while standing in the middle of the living room having a slight out-of-body experience.
“It’s broken,” Reid says evenly.
“Fuck me.”
Reid stands in a rush. “You were a total asshole back there, by the way. Saying what you said to Hayden about Jacob.”
“It’s the truth though.”
Dante swears and drops his head into his hands. “You’re so oblivious, Parker. Anyway, I called Mandy to see what we can do for Hayden’s hand because he’s going to argue until he’s blue in the face about getting medical care for it. And you need to contact Alexis.”
“Oh god, why me?” I hate Alexis. She’s terrifying and she gets mad when we have legal questions, as if she isn’t paid a small fortune to be on retainer for us.
“Because you’re an asshole,” Reid retorts. He shoves his shoulder into mine as he heads toward Hayden on the back porch.
“Hey! That’s my twin in jail right now, you know!”
Reid aims a glare at me over his shoulder. “It should be you. You have the highest kill count.”
“Reid,” Dante hisses, but Reid just slides the door open with a glare and joins Hayden.
But Reid is right. It should be me in jail right now. That had been my plan if they caught on to Mason. What’s any different now? I grab my phone out of my pocket when it buzzes.
“Oh fuck, it’s Alexis calling me.”
Dante gasps. “Shut up.” Dante leaps up to come stand beside me, a silent show of support. I’m so screwed.
Clearing my throat, I lift the phone to my ear. “This is Parker.”
“No shit it’s Parker. That’s who I called,” Alexis sounds stern and irritated. “It’s the middle of the night, you know? And your brother is in jail.”
“Fuck. He called you?”
“He knows who his first call should be. Do you want to know the charges they have on him?”
I can’t do it. I hand Dante the phone with a scared flourish, hands shaking at the idea. Dante takes the phone and listens to Alexis go on and on and on for what feels like forever.
“I understand, Alexis.” Dante glances at me out of the corner of his eye, sending a shiver of fear through me. “Mhmm. Nope, we’ll all stay clean while you figure Jacob out. Yes. Oh, I’ll tell Parker. Thank you.”
“And?”
Dante hands my phone back to me with a grimace. “She said to sit tight.”
I narrow my eyes. “That’s not all she said.”
“No…” Dante hunches his shoulders in defeat. “She said Jacob said to tell you to remember Hayden’s six. Also, he’s been pinned with the Hyland and Warton murders.”
The world spins on its axis.
“He’s been what?”
Dante’s big hands grip my biceps, effectively holding me up when my knees threaten to sweep out from under me.
If Jacob is pinned with the murders of two senators, he’s never getting out, he’s never coming home.
He has to come home. Him being the fall guy for us was never actually in the cards because we have contingencies, backups on backups, and Hayden’s plans are always foolproof.
“Parker, it’s all right. Alexis won’t let him go to prison…” Dante trails off when I stare blankly at him.
“I have to talk to Hayden.”
Dante shakes his head, clearly refusing me.
“Nope, not tonight. You’ll say the wrong thing and Hayden’s…
” Dante looks over his shoulder to where Hayden sits disassociated and distraught, injured hand hanging limply over the arm of the chair he’s in.
“I think we should all go to bed and figure everything out in the morning.”
“You need to take showers…” I mumble, dead inside but still thinking of Mason.
“We’ll figure it out. Go upstairs to Mason.”
It says everything that I don’t have the energy to argue.
The lights are off when I push into Mason’s room, but the slight shape of him is easy to spot in the middle of the bed.
I toss my shirt to the ground because I need his skin against mine to feel like I’m a real person.
The moment I’m horizontal, Mason presses into me with a happy little huff that warms my broken heart.
Dancing my hand up and down his spine, I tuck my face into his neck, breathing him in and listening to his quiet sleep-fueled sounds.
I protected Mason but lost Jacob, and I don’t know what that says about me.
I don’t know what it means that I’m thankful to hold Mason in my arms, settled in my soul, but feel like a failure because Jacob isn’t sleeping a few houses down.
I don’t know what to do, and that’s not a feeling I’m used to.
That’s how I fall asleep, wondering if I’ll ever figure out the answer.