Chapter 16
sixteen
MAYA
We were only two episodes into Grey’s when Poppy flew into the house like a little red-headed tasmanian devil.
At first, I couldn’t tell what she was saying. Then three men barged through the front door shouting her name, and everything came together shortly thereafter.
Living with Liam? The group seemed to agree this was the perfect solution. Well, everyone but Liam. He actually hasn’t said a word about it as he’s been talking to Poppy about manners for the last ten minutes.
“I’ll help you with your stuff,” Ellie says cheerfully.
I want to remind her I have yet to agree to this, but she’s smiling. If staying with him makes her happy, why would I decline?
But I haven’t even had a chance to process my feelings from last night. And man, do I have a lot of feelings.
Mostly, the tingly kind. The kind of feelings that are telling me to get that man into bed as soon as humanly possible. We barely did anything but just the memory of his hands gripping my hips has my whole body heating up.
A lot of feelings. Lust, want, but also…confusion. There is still so much I don’t remember, so many details he has that I don’t. I still don’t understand what we shared together besides really great sex.
And then, no matter how much I’d like to pretend it doesn’t matter, there’s the complication. Liam is basically part of Ellie’s family now. We’re tethered, maybe for life. Do I want to let myself get heartbroken from someone I can’t escape? I can’t just erase my memory whenever I’m feeling sad. I could literally turn my brain to mush.
“Ughhh!” I grunt, flopping down on the guest room bed.
“What’s wrong?”
“El, maybe this is a bad idea. Why don’t I get a hotel? Or go back to New York? I can come visit whenever you need me, I promise.”
“I thought you wanted to stay here?” Her voice carries the smallest hint of hurt between her words.
“Of course I do. If it was up to me, you and I would still be roommates and Theo would get visiting hours each day.” She laughs at that, but the smile doesn’t meet her eyes. “I just feel like I’m intruding here. You and Theo and Stevie have this whole beautiful life. And Liam has Poppy and now I’m just this nomad flying between you. I love you so much. Of course, I want to be here. But?—”
“You are not a nomad, Maya.” She sits next to me on the bed. “Or, well maybe you are. Maybe we all are at some point. When I moved to California, I was so lost I could barely find my feet. But then I met you.”
When her voice breaks I can feel the emotions start to clog my throat.
“You’re family,” she continues, her voice shaky. “And if you need to go, or want to go, of course I understand. But I want you here. Theo wants you here. Poppy definitely wants you here. And Liam, well, I’m sure he’ll grow on y?—”
“We kissed.”
“WHAT?” Ellie jumps up to her feet and immediately winces, reaching for her hip. I grab the heating pad tucked in the nightstand and plug it in. “Thanks,” she says, sitting back down and leaning against a few pillows. “Now please tell me everything.”
“After trick-or-treating,” I start. “Poppy wanted to have a sleepover here so we put her to bed in Stevie’s room and then…”
“And then?”
I give Ellie a very abridged version of last night, still weary of letting her in on my biggest secret. But now that someone else knows, it feels like I’m deceiving her. I’ll have to tell her eventually, but I decide to wait until after the baby comes. She has too much to stress about already.
“So, how was it?” she asks.
“It was a great kiss.” Life-changing would be much more accurate, but I’m trying to temper expectations for all.
I definitely didn’t realize Ellie would be as excited as she is about the kissing. I mean, shouldn't she be nervous about messing with the group dynamics? He’s her next door neighbor, a close friend.
But either way, I tell her I’m not letting it go any further. And through each of her protests, I stay strong. If I’m going to be living with him, potentially for months, I need things to stay amicable. And with my track record with love, there’s no point in taking a risk.
I need to play things safe for once, to not let myself get blinded by the fairytale glasses.
I don’t make my way over to Liam’s until later that night. Ellie said she wanted to prolong our last day together as roommates—and get a little further into Grey’s —but I heard the guys talking earlier about Liam wanting a few hours to clean up.
By the time I get there, it’s clear he meant it. His whole house is sparkling, and it smells like the most decadent chocolate.
“We made brownies!” Poppy announces proudly, pointing to the kitchen island.
“Wow,” I say, eyeing them. “I hope those aren’t just for me.” Because based on the smell, I will definitely eat the whole tray.
“Hey.” Liam’s voice appears a few moments before he does. He looks freshly showered, a cotton T-shirt clinging to his shoulders, wet hair hanging down his back. He ties it up into that signature bun as he walks into the kitchen. “Laundry’s almost done. Let me take these upstairs for you.”
He grabs my two huge duffel bags before I can protest and marches up the stairs. I snatch a brownie and shove it in my mouth before following him up there. Every time he makes them, I swear they get even better.
The layout of his house is a bit different than Ellie’s, probably because Theo did so much custom work on theirs. The room I’m staying in is spacious, with a beautiful view of the tree farm through large south-facing windows. The bed is still stripped, waiting for sheets, but I take a seat on it anyway.
“This is great. Thank you again for letting me stay. I hope you didn’t feel too much pressure from the guys.”
“The guys? If anyone was putting pressure on me, it was my kid.”
“Sorry, Daddy.” Poppy peeks her head around the threshold, the most precocious little spy.
“Go get ready for bed, angel.”
She flits off into a room down the hall and Liam warns me that she and I have a connecting bathroom.
“I’d lock the door if I were you. She hasn’t really learned boundaries yet. My fault.” He shrugs.
“She’s sweet. She can bug me anytime.”
“You say that now…”
He doesn’t realize how much I enjoy her little outbursts. The homes I grew up in were so quiet, so sterile. I almost wished he hadn’t cleaned up for me. Even our apartment in New York, the one my parents and I share but rarely use, gets professionally cleaned once a week.
Maybe I could use a little clutter in my life.
“Truly. And let me know how I can help you out with her, even if it’s just rides to school or watching her while you’re working. Anything.”
“Thanks, I’ll probably take you up on that. Umm…” he trails off, tilts his head like he’s looking to see if anyone’s on the other side of the doorway. The sound of the water turning on in the bathroom grabs our attention and he takes a quick breath. “About last night?—”
“I’m sorry,” I say, before he can finish the thought. And I really do want to know what his thought was. But I’m also scared it will sway my own mind. “I shouldn’t have…we shouldn’t have…I just got carried away wanting to know what happened between us. What I can’t remember. But it won’t happen again.”
My gaze stays down toward the unmade bed. I’m afraid if I look him in the eye he’ll know I’m full of shit. Because I absolutely want to kiss him again. Now that he’s sitting here, so close that his scent of fresh herbs washes over me, there is no denying the attraction I have. But I also know my heart, how hard it falls, and I can’t let that happen with him, not again.
He’s quiet for so long that I finally look up, and when I meet his gaze, he’s grinning.
He stands up and walks over to the doorway before spinning around. He leans against the frame like a man out of a romance novel, arms folded across his chest.
“Okay. If you think you can keep your hands to yourself, Bloom, go ahead and try.”
My jaw hangs open like a panting dog. I have no idea how to respond.
“I’ll go get your bedding. If you want some time to yourself, I’d give Poppy another five minutes before she’s barging in here. Feel free to use the locks.”
And with another borderline evil grin, he heads down the hall.
Three weeks pass in the blink of an eye.
I’ve gotten into a pretty easy routine here. Staying at Liam’s really is convenient, because I still get to spend most of each day with Ellie.
In the mornings, I always have breakfast with Liam and Poppy. Mainly because he offers, and if I don’t, I’ll end up having a sad protein bar or piece of toast. He’s so concerned about giving Poppy a nutritious breakfast every day, and now I get to reap the benefits. The pumpkin chocolate chip pancakes are still my favorite, but his roasted leek crepes are equally mouth-watering.
After breakfast, I usually go straight to Ellie’s. She naps a lot so I can easily get any work done there, which isn’t much now that my blog is on hiatus. My role at Bloom Hotels is still minor, but I do my best to stay up to date on company news, mergers and acquisitions, etcetera. My assistant, Ho Joon, is an actual dream and emails me a weekly recap of anything I may have missed. I should start thinking about a Christmas present for him now to make sure it’s worthy.
The biggest surprise is how much time I’ve been spending with Ezra. Ezra, who I still want to hate sometimes, but he makes that harder each day. Whether it’s his devotion to his sister or the intense bond I’ve seen he has with Poppy, he’s becoming impossible not to like.
Plus, helping him with his social media has been a great way for me to feel productive. He started a podcast a while ago, Paging Doctor Z , on a whim, and it has really blown up this year, so I’ve been giving him tips on how to convert video clips to post on social media. His content is great, mainly health advice for parents, but based on the comments I’ve seen on his videos, his hot doctor appeal is what’s driving up his numbers. When he asked me how to turn off all his direct message notifications, I quickly realized most of them were women asking if he was single.
I could never look at Ezra as anything other than Ellie’s big brother, but I also can’t lie. His clear blue eyes and glasses are giving major Jude Law in The Holiday vibes. And the internet is noticing. He’s also practically married to his dog, Desiree. It’s endearing as hell.
Each night, Ellie insists I stay for dinner, and with Ezra there I don’t feel like as much of an intruder. Liam and Poppy join us often, usually because he provides the food. Sometimes I wonder if we’d all starve without him. If he wasn’t so health-conscious due to Poppy’s needs, I’d probably have gained twenty pounds by now.
Some days, like today, when Ellie’s napping and Theo or Ezra have Stevie taken care of, I come to have lunch at the diner. And each time, I lie to myself that it’s not so I can flirt with Liam away from our people.
He hasn’t made a move to be anything more than friends, but his words from the night I moved in still linger in my mind relentlessly.
“How hungry are you?” Liam asks as soon as he spots me sitting at the counter.
“Are you ever gonna let me order off the menu?”
“Nope.” He grins, leaning down in front me with his forearms resting on the counter. His tattoos are on full display and I can’t help but trace over them with my eyes. They’re all very “chefy”—a large knife, a whisk, a bundle of herbs I can’t name. They’re so him .
I wonder if he has others. I wonder if I’ve seen them before.
“Fine,” I concede. “Just make it burger-adjacent. I’m craving red meat.”
What feels like only a few minutes later, I’m presented with a bunless burger smothered in melted brie and a heaping plate of his shoestring sage fries that the whole town is obsessed with. And of course, a chocolate milkshake. This time with a hint of…
“Cinnamon?” I ask after taking a sip.
“Trying to be festive.”
He leans down on the counter again; he almost always hangs out while I eat. It looks like he wants to say something, but he’s acting unusually shy.
“What’s up?” I ask.
“I was, umm—well, I assume you’re going home next week for Thanksgiving?”
Home. What a bombshell that word is. I think back to my last email from Ho Joon to try and remember where in the world my parents are right now. Somewhere in the south of France? Not that it matters anyway.
“We don’t really do Thanksgiving,” I reply. His brows knit in confusion. “My mom’s from Brazil, so she didn’t grow up with the holiday, and Dad…he sort of thinks of himself as a global citizen. I’ve lived in the US for less than half my life and even when we were here, we spent every holiday at a hotel, so…”
I realize Liam has stopped listening to me. Instead, he’s furiously writing down on his notepad.
After a moment of silence he picks his head up. “So, you’ll be here?”
To be honest, I’ve barely thought about the holidays coming up. Ellie and Theo have made me feel so welcome and wanted here, but of course they’ll want to be with family, real family, for the holidays.
“Yeah, but…I can stay out of the way, or?—”
“Don’t be silly, Maya. I live to feed you.”
He winks, but it doesn’t feel like a joke. Sometimes I think he enjoys feeding me more than I enjoy eating his food.
“What about you?” I ask. “Not planning to visit family?”
He scoffs, still scribbling something. Then he looks up at me in surprise. “Oh, you weren’t joking.”
“What?”
“Sorry,” he says. “I forgot you don’t re—I don’t have any relationship with my parents anymore. Not really. I’d love to see my sister but she umm…travels a lot for work.”
Ominous. I want to ask more but I’m not sure how pushy I should be.
“So Poppy’s grandparents…” The words slip out before I can shut up.
“She’s never met them.” I gasp unintentionally. But who doesn’t want to meet their grandkid? Especially one as sweet as Poppy. “My mom and step-dad, they’re really religious. We barely had a relationship before, but after Poppy…they didn’t exactly approve of the whole having a child out of wedlock thing.”
“Who the hell says wedlock?”
“They do.” He looks pointedly at me and I can tell this is not a conversation he wants to be having.
I throw up my hands in defeat. “Good riddance, then. I’d be happy to stand in for Thanksgiving dinner.”
He throws down the notepad so I can see what he’s been writing this whole time.
It’s a menu.
“Does this sound okay to you?”
chicory salad / candied persimmons / corn cake croutons
honeynut squash soup
cornish hens / cranberry orange glaze
fondant potatoes
roasted chanterelles & brussel sprouts
sweet corn crème br?lée
brownies
“I know there’s no turkey, but it sounds like you won’t mind going non-traditional and Poppy’s obsessed with the little hens, so?—”
“You’d make all this, just for the three of us?”
“Well, I was going to offer to cook for everyone, but I’m not sure if they’re planning to go to Burlington to see their folks.”
I doubt it. Ellie has barely left her bed this week because the pain has been so bad. She won’t be going anywhere unless it’s one of her required doctor’s appointments. But I’m not going to answer on her behalf. And with or without her, I want to eat this meal.
“Brownies? For Thanksgiving?”
He bites his lip. “I’ll add some pumpkin streusel or something on top. Got to make sure I leave you satisfied.”
I’m not sure when he got so close to me but our hands are practically touching. How did he just turn Thanksgiving into a sexy holiday? Suddenly, I’m picturing him in nothing but an apron, feeding me sweet corn crème br?lée with his hands.
My gaze pops to his and I find a wicked grin.
“What are you thinking about, Bloom? You look a little flushed.”
“Sweet corn crème br?lée,” I answer a little too quickly. “I don’t know what it is but I want it in my mouth.”
“Lucky for you,” he says, his voice deepening at least an octave. “I’ll make sure that happens.”
He flicks my nose before grabbing the notepad and starts scribbling again.
Without looking up, he asks me to find out Ellie and Theo’s plans for next week. “Let them know I’ll be happy to cook for everyone, our place or theirs. Parents and anyone else are welcome as long as I get a headcount.”
He strolls back into the kitchen while I quietly ponder his use of our .
I get back to Liam’s later than usual tonight. Ellie slept most of the day, hence my time at the diner, so she was wide awake tonight.
Her mood was more somber than usual. Ezra keeps promising things will get better after the first trimester, but no one actually knows that for sure. Ellie and I are both optimistic people, but we also can’t be bullshitted. So for now we’re just…waiting. Hoping and praying and silently wishing for the best possible outcome.
I enter Liam’s house quietly since Poppy should be asleep by now. I’d feel horrible if I woke her up. But as soon as I’m inside, I hear her call my name from Liam’s room on the first floor.
The only room in the house I have yet to enter.
“Princess Maya!” she shouts again.
“What did we talk about?” I hear Liam say in his stern dad voice.
“Sorry. Can you please come here, Princess Maya?”
I guess I can’t turn down a summoning, so I slowly enter forbidden territory. At least the door is wide open.
Penguin is asleep in a donut-shaped dog bed right next to the king-size one Liam and Poppy are lying in. Well, now I know where the dog is all the time. She’s so elusive for a puppy.
“Isn’t it past your bedtime?” I ask Poppy. It’s already past my own. And conversing with her is easier than acknowledging a topless Liam in pajama pants. That man can really rock some flannel.
“Yeah, but I can’t sleep,” she says through a yawn.
Liam rolls his eyes. “I think she wanted to wait for you to get home.”
There it is again. That word home rings through my head, wondering if I’ve ever really had one.
“Lay down with us,” Poppy slurs.
“Oh…” I start, trying to find a polite exit, but then they both move over to make room. It’s such a tiny thing, but the way they move together, this perfect little unit, it makes me want to fill that space, share the warmth, just for a minute. “Okay.”
I’m practically in pajamas myself, my uniform as of late consisting of sweats and…sweats, which makes it easy to melt into the bed. His sheets are warn-in soft and spotted with dog hair, making them feel more luxurious than any stiff hotel sheets ever did.
Poppy rolls into me and pulls a blanket over us. I can’t imagine a cozier setting. In another month, when the ground outside is covered in snow, this is the only place I want to be. I hear the sigh before I register that it’s coming from my own mouth.
Liam makes a sound, not mocking, maybe a little smug. My eyes meet his over Poppy’s head and his lips stretch. It’s a lazy, languid smile, the kind that can’t be forced.
What feels like seconds later, Poppy starts to snore. Considering half her body is draped over me, I don’t think I’m going anywhere. Liam must agree because the last thing I see is him reaching across the nightstand to turn off the light.
Then we’re all blanketed in darkness.