25. Chapter 25
Six Months Later
“Was this a bad idea?”
Ceth’s muttered question was so low that Krystal barely heard it as she pulled into the parking lot at Murphy’s and turned off the engine. She didn’t need to ask what Ceth was referring to.
After a couple of months of thinking, internally debating, and researching who they were, Ceth had decided to reach out to her biological mom’s relatives.
At Krystal’s suggestion that she start out small, Ceth had searched social media and found Dana, the daughter of one of Sierra’s half sisters, who was around Ceth’s age.
Ceth and her cousin had direct messaged back and forth a few times before Ceth learned she didn’t live very far away, so they had agreed to meet.
“No, I think this is a solid plan,” Krystal assured Ceth.
“Meeting Dana for dinner in a public place should take some of the pressure off the conversation, if it’s stilted at first. I’ll be here to support you but without being in the way since I’ll be up with the band part of the time.
That was a smart way to see if you being gay would be an issue, by the way: inviting Dana to Murphy’s on the night your girlfriend will be singing. ”
The nervous grimace that had wrinkled Ceth’s handsome face for the past ten minutes cleared. “’On the night my beautiful and talented girlfriend will be singing’ were the words I used, actually.”
Krystal chuckled and leaned over to kiss Ceth’s cheek. “Sorry, my mistake.”
They unbuckled their seatbelts and got out of the car in silence, but when Krystal walked around to Ceth’s side to take her hand and go inside, Ceth was frowning. “But I didn’t mean for the meeting to distract from your performance.”
A fond smile formed on Krystal’s lips. She is the absolute sweetest. “Like I told you when you first suggested this: it’s really not a problem. It’s not like this is my first time singing at Murphy’s; I’ve done it five or six times since we got our place together here in Blueville.”
Ceth shifted as if she were about to argue something else, but Krystal faced her and placed her hands on Ceth’s cheeks, which were already a little chilled from the February evening.
“And even if it were my first time singing here, it still would be okay, because the most important thing is for me to be here for you. Not that I think you’ll need rescuing or anything.
I happen to think the meeting is going to go great.
There’s not going to be a single fire truck called. ”
That last comment made an actual grin spread over Ceth’s face. She reached up to run her hands over Krystal’s arms. “Thank you, Angel. I’m sorry I keep spiraling over this.”
“No, none of that,” Krystal said sharply enough for Ceth to meet her gaze.
“You’ve got nothing to apologize for. I wish this wasn’t worrying you so much, but it absolutely makes sense that you’re nervous.
And, besides, you’ve sat with me through my spirals so many times, it’s nice to get to return the favor for a change. ”
Ceth chuckled, but Krystal wasn’t finished. “Ceth, please remember that you’re a beautiful, loving soul that anyone would be lucky to have in their family.”
She stretched up on her toes and planted a firm kiss on Ceth’s forehead.
When she was done, Ceth searched her eyes. “I love you so much.”
Krystal beamed. They’d first exchanged I love yous an embarrassingly short time after their relationship had started, although it probably wasn’t all that embarrassing by sapphic standards. Nevertheless, Krystal was far from tired of hearing it. She doubted she ever would be.
“I love you too, Cethlenn O’Malley.”
“Cethlenn?”
Ceth turned at the sound of her name and stood up from the table in time to see the woman she recognized from online photos as Dana.
Her cousin.
As she approached the table, Ceth noted she was around the same height but with a sturdier build, like she played sports or maybe once did. Her eyes were the same dark brown as Ceth’s, and Ceth thought her facial features were similar to her own and even more so to pictures she’d seen of Sierra.
Dana smiled and took a step forward. “Are you comfortable with hugs?”
Ceth blinked in surprise. But she’d read on Dana’s profile that she worked in children’s counseling, so the offer and tone made sense. She nodded. “Yeah, thanks for asking.”
They shared a brief but warm embrace, and it wasn’t really uncomfortable like Ceth might have expected hugging a virtual stranger would be. The thought flitted through her mind that this was the first time she’d ever knowingly hugged anyone she shared even some DNA with.
She loved the family that raised her, of course.
She’d grown up with aunts, uncles, and cousins who never really treated her differently because of her or Sierra’s background.
And God knows blood wasn’t the deciding factor on what makes a family anyway.
But there was still something special about making this connection with a relative who looked like her and shared her heritage, even when the heritage was more of an abstract concept to Ceth than it probably was for Dana.
They sat down and ordered dinner. Since Dana had never been to Murphy’s, she deferred to Ceth’s recommendation of the rustic beef stew that was the nightly special.
Food proved to be a good segway topic, and Dana asked if Ceth had ever been to the tribal cultural center in Oklahoma that showcased their ancestral history, art, and cuisine.
Dana seemed to be making a point to use words like “we” and “our” when referring to the tribal museum, as if she wanted Ceth to know she was included. It felt both comforting and strange.
Not only that, Dana had created a whole album on her phone of photos of family and special events from over the years. Then she invited Ceth to share any photos she had that were important to her as well.
After a while, Ceth sat back and stared at her nearly empty bowl of stew in surprise.
When had that happened? Apparently, she and Dana had talked and looked at pictures during the entire meal without Ceth realizing it.
Now she absently pushed a piece of cornbread muffin around her bread plate, ruminating on everything she’d learned so far.
Dana remained quiet for a few minutes, but then she leaned forward with a furrowed brow. “I’m sorry, was all of this overwhelming?”
Ceth released a short laugh. “Maybe a little. But that’s not your fault.”
“I tried to put myself in your shoes,” Dana said thoughtfully, “and anticipate what you might want to hear about when we met. I’m sure you have a lot of questions.
And I don’t have all the answers. I think there are some of those that only grandma would’ve had.
And she could keep things close to the chest sometimes.
But if there’s anything I can help you answer, I’ll be happy to.
But if you need to take a step back for a while and process, then reach out when you’re ready, that’s perfectly understandable too. You can be the one to steer this ship.”
Ceth nodded in agreement, tension slowly easing from her body at Dana’s reassuring words and tone. Maybe it was Dana’s clinical training that made her so considerate and understanding in this situation. She really had been the right person to reach out to first.
“Thank you, Dana. I do think it’s going to take some time to process, but I’d like to stay in contact. And I really appreciate everything you’ve done to help so far.”
Dana grinned. “I was happy to. Just like I’m happy to have another cousin in my life.”
“I am too.”
“So!” Dana said, her face open and curious. “Why don’t we put all this family history aside for a while, and you can just tell me a little bit more about your life?”
Just then, Casey and his band filed out on the little stage at the front of the main dining room. Ceth’s eyes immediately found Krystal, who was stunning in a burgundy dress that had a long sleeve on one side, but exposed her smooth, round shoulder on the other.
Ceth nodded in Krystal’s direction. “There’s one of the most important parts of it now.”
Casey began his boisterous introduction, making any other conversation difficult for the moment.
Then the band launched into its first song: a swinging, nostalgic-feeling love song that Ceth had immediately deemed sappy when she first heard it.
But she’d never deny how much she loved the way Krystal sang it.
Krystal sang the first verse and chorus, her voice ringing through the room, lush, lively, and clear. Ceth couldn’t tear her gaze away.
After the first chorus, the band began the jazzy instrumental interlude.
“She’s very talented,” Dana said.
When Ceth turned to her to agree, Dana winked. “Gorgeous too.”
Ceth’s lips spread in a wide grin. “That she is.”
The music softened and slowed a little as Krystal slid into the second verse. Her eyes were fixed on Ceth now, and she didn’t even bother to hide it.
I’ve grown accustomed to your smile. Love, how it brightens my day.
I’ve memorized the light in your eyes that chases my clouds away.
My darling, it’s second nature now: always thinking of you.
I’ve gotten used to life in a dream I never believed could come true.
Oh I get a knack for that feeling, Sweetheart, when you’re around.
My foolish heart stops its beating before you can make a sound.
It’s more than a nova. More than a flutter. More than a romantic dream…
That’s gone when the summer’s through,
There’s just no point in hiding it. Love, there’s no fighting it.
I’m in the habit of loving you.
Ceth couldn’t wipe what was probably the world’s silliest smile off her face. She could sit and listen to Krystal serenade her forever.
They were now six months into this. Into a relationship, after Ceth had spent so many years certain she had no business being in one.
And Krystal had overcome her own hurdles too, from coming out, to learning to trust her own voice and her own beautiful heart.
Yet together, they’d both gotten in the habit of loving and trusting each other, of supporting one another even when that kind of love had never been modeled for them.
They had friends and community and work here in Blueville. They were discovering what family meant in unexpected ways. And it had been many months since Ceth hadn’t even considered that old crater that used to stretch deep inside her. Maybe because it was filled up now. Just like her heart.
The End