13. Sylvie
THIRTEEN
SYLVIE
“Hey, do you have a tampon?” Rebecca whispered over my shoulder during a lull in customers at the Sugar Bowl. “I just got a lovely surprise visit, and there’s nothing in the employee bathroom.”
I shook my head. “There should be some in there. I always restock when I get mine...” My brain paused.
I had just restocked the bathroom for the female employees.
Hadn’t I? It seemed like my period was the only one around here like clockwork, and it was easier to keep it stocked than to have to cover the servers’ tables when they had to run to the store mid-shift.
“It’s empty. I just looked. Can you cover me while I run across the street to the general store?”
“Of course.” My voice was hollow as I tried to think back to when I last had my period. I thought and thought but came up... blank.
What. The. Fuck.
After rushing the next customer and getting a well-deserved dirty look, I excused myself to the back kitchen. Huck was arranging his famous s’mores puff pastry mini tarts for Outtatowner’s upcoming annual Fireside Flannel Festival.
I hustled to the corner and pulled out my phone to look at the calendar app and counted. Then recounted. And counted again.
No, no, no, no, no.
When my brain couldn’t wrap itself around the simple task of counting dates, I moved to the kitchen calendar Huck had hung on the wall. I flipped forward, then back. I was still coming up with the same gut-wrenching timeline.
“You okay?” Huck asked behind me as he waved a small butane torch over the tops of the tarts to slightly toast them.
My voice wouldn’t work. I managed a jerky nod and flipped the pages again. There was no way. No freaking way .
I wanted to scream. To run. I wanted to melt into a puddle or hide behind a rock and never come out.
My boss came up beside me as I stared at the calendar. “If you’re not feeling well, we can cover here.”
I swallowed. “No. I’m fine. Rebecca stepped out but she’ll be back. I’m fine.”
I was very much not fine .
Hastily, I typed out a text to MJ, begging her to meet me at the house after her nursing shift was done.
MJ
I’m going to Fireside tonight! Aren’t you coming?
I paled. Everyone in town looked forward to Outtatowner’s annual welcoming of autumn. Tourists enjoyed tents with snacks, crafters, and food, plus beer and wine tastings. As the evening wore on, the beach was dotted with bonfires and music.
It was one of my favorite nights of the year.
Sorry, I forgot. Yeah, I’ll be there.
Forgot? Are you okay?
I ignored her text and slipped my phone into my pocket. I had to be overreacting. There were a thousand reasons my period could be late.
I got through the rest of my shift at the Sugar Bowl like a dead-eyed robot.
My head was swimming with possibilities, and I did everything I could to remain calm.
I needed to be sure. I needed facts. I needed a clear sign that I was overreacting and definitely not pregnant with Duke Sullivan’s baby.
It had been a month since our secret island date. We had agreed to keep our friendship hidden and hadn’t met in secret again since that day on the beach.
I scanned the roadway before crossing and hustling toward the general store.
The street around me was already buzzing with excited energy.
Storefronts were capitalizing on the Fireside Flannel Festival by offering discounts, hanging plaid banners, and setting up small tables on the sidewalks to catch passersby.
Chalkboard signs pointing people toward the waterfront were strewn throughout the town, and far in the distance I could see tents and commotion as the festival got underway.
The general store owner, some distant King cousin, greeted me as I wove through the aisles of the store. Customers were already decked out in flannel for the festival. Their happy, carefree smiles were a stark contrast to the sinking feeling in my gut.
I was always careful. I had never had unprotected sex.
We used a condom, for fuck’s sake!
I was officially spiraling.
I rounded the corner to the feminine care aisle but came up short when I nearly crashed into a hard wall of a man. My brother Royal’s hard features split into a goofy grin when he realized it was me. “Jesus, Syl. Where’s the fire?”
I looked into my brother’s eyes.
Oh god, what would he say if he knew I thought I was pregnant with a Sullivan’s baby? Would he even try to understand?
Of all my brothers, Royal was the softest. His hard tattooed exterior was in opposition to the sensitive soul he worked to keep hidden.
He was also the brother that loved to poke and dig at the Sullivans.
He was a big reason the pranks and rivalry had continued for so long.
He was happy to retaliate any chance he got.
“Hey, what are you doing?” I tried to sound casual and calm but failed miserably.
Royal’s eyes narrowed at me. “What are you doing?”
Covering my own ass, I reached around him and grabbed the first box of tampons my hand touched, and I held them up to him. “I needed these. Why? You want to buy them for me?”
Unfazed, Royal chuckled. “Why would buying tampons bother me? I’ve been buying them for you since we were teenagers.”
Damn it. My stupid progressive brother and his stupid progressive ideas about gender equality.
“Why are you even in this aisle?”
Amusement played over his face as he held up the small box of condoms with a smirk.
I rolled my eyes. “Gross.” I shooed him away with my fingers as nerves buzzed through me. “Go away. I have other things to look for, and it’s none of your business.”
He chuckled again and shook his head. “Will I see you tonight? MJ said you two were coming up to the festival.”
I nodded and swallowed hard. I had no idea how much or how little my life was about to shift in the next ten to fifteen minutes.
Royal smiled, and affection for my older brother rolled through me. “I’ll buy you a beer when you get down there. See you tonight.”
My brother turned and headed toward the register.
Still holding the box of tampons, I scanned the array of pregnancy tests.
I had never needed to use one, so I had no idea what to get.
In my indecision, Ms. Tiny entered the same aisle.
Heat prickled at my hairline, and I moved to scan a different section.
I definitely should have gone to the drug store outside of town, where everyone minded their own fucking business.
When I thought she wasn’t looking, I grabbed the first pregnancy test box I could and held it behind the box of tampons.
As I moved past Ms. Tiny, I gave her a nod and hurried toward the register.
The store was busy, but thank god for self-checkout. I hid the boxes in the crook of my arm as I waited in line. My hand tapped against the outside of my thigh as I mentally berated the slow customers in front of me. Nausea swirled in my stomach.
Oh my god, is that a symptom?
I blew a slow, steady breath through my lips. When it was my turn, I quickly scanned my items and prayed I would actually need the tampons in a day or two.
By the time I had gotten back to my house, my stomach ache hadn’t gotten any better. Thankfully, MJ was still working, and Bug was at the library. The cold, large house was eerily quiet.
As I ran up the stairs and locked myself into the bathroom, I tossed the bag and box of tampons into the sink and sat on the toilet seat, holding the box with the pregnancy test.
I tore it open and pulled out the pamphlet.
I was pretty sure it was idiotproof—that you just peed on the stick—but I read and reread the instructions twice just to be sure.
Before I took the test, I pressed my hand against my lower belly and breathed in deep.
Beside the gnawing pit in my stomach, the early pregnancy symptoms I had googled earlier weren’t there.
I wasn’t dizzy, my boobs felt fine, and other than a late period and worry rattling through me, there were no other obvious signs that I could be pregnant.
I was exhausted, but I didn’t think that was new.
I closed my eyes and tried to feel something.
My mind flashed to a fictional scenario of my belly plumping, rounded with pregnancy.
I saw Duke smiling down at me as he rubbed my swollen belly.
My mind flashed forward to a child with his smile and my eyes, riding gleefully on top of his broad shoulders.
A low hum buzzed through me as my eyes flew open.
Oh fuck. Do I want to be pregnant?
I exhaled and opened my eyes.
That was a fantasy world, a world in which the King–Sullivan rivalry didn’t exist. A time and place where I felt free to make my own decisions about my life without judgments from everyone around me.
It was also a giant leap, assuming Duke would want anything to do with this baby.
Deep down, I knew he was a good man, and I hoped he would stand by any decision I made.
But what if I didn’t even know what decision to make?
Steeling my nerves, I lifted the toilet seat and followed the instructions to take the pregnancy test. I set the test face down on the sink and set up a timer on my phone. My foot tapped as my brain flooded with possibilities—some funny, some scary, some downright confusing.
I jolted when the timer went off.
After a quick inhale, I flipped the test over, and my heart stopped.
Two pink lines.
When the fourth text from MJ asking me where I was rolled in, I knew I couldn’t hide any longer before she sent out a search party.
Not knowing what else to do, I did my hair and makeup and slipped on a flannel shirt to ward off the mid-September chill—and because it was the Fireside Flannel Festival, after all.
A flannel shirt was practically required.
Heading over now.
MJ
The boys are setting up the bonfire and Abel is working the beer tent. Meet me there and we can convince him to let us drink for free.
Okay.