Chapter 21
EVER
“Ever, have you ever kissed a ladybug?”
A week and a half have gone by since I found out about Bobby, and I do my best not to dwell on our time together or how badly he hurt me with his deception. Otherwise, I’ll cry, then get mad at myself for wasting my tears on a liar and manipulator.
I contemplate the question and study the question-asker.
The sweet little girl seated in front of me has long dark-brown hair and big cinnamon-brown eyes set in a thin face. Francia is also wearing rainbow sorbet ice cream on the tip of her nose and her mouth.
I reach over and wipe her face clean. “Believe it or not, I have kissed a ladybug.”
“What does it feel like? Was it gross? Why would you kiss a bug? You’re an adult.” Francia’s older brother, Alejandro, scrunches his face.
Francia giggles.
“I don’t remember what it felt like, but it wasn’t gross. I was a year younger than Francia.”
Francia is six.
“My mom took me to Dumas Botanical Gardens, and there were these beautiful roses in assorted colors. Velvety red. Blood orange. Sunny yellow. Snow white. My favorite was a rose named “Blue Girl.” It’s this deep lavender but can look blue.”
“Ever.” An exasperated sigh from Alejandro, followed by an eye roll.
I hold back my smile, remembering what it was like to be Alejandro’s age and having to listen to my mother’s long-winded stories. I miss her.
Over the years, Ty and my dad have been speaking less about her. Have they forgotten her already? I swallow past the ache in my throat and share more about my mom with the little girl who reminds me of me growing up, before my mom’s addiction spiraled out of control.
“After the guide pointed out the roses to Mom and me, she picked up a ladybug off one of the leaves and told us the ladybug keeps the roses healthy by snacking on the mean aphids.”
“Aphids?” Francia takes another lick of her ice cream cone.
“Little green bugs.” I wipe more sorbet off her face. “I was so grateful for the ladybug’s help that I let her crawl on my finger before I kissed her back.”
“How do you know it was a she?” Alejandro scrunches his face. “What if you kissed a boy ladybug?”
I can’t hold back. I sputter laughter. He stares with his eyes wide and his mouth forming an O.
“Did I get ice cream on me?” I swipe the back of my hand over my face.
“No, Miss Ever. You’re pretty.”
There’s wonder in his voice. My face heats. He looks down. The toilet flushes, and then the water runs. Alejandro’s head snaps on. “Ever, have you been kissed?” he blurts out.
“Alejandro Samuel Sánchez!” His mom steps out of the bathroom. “Ten is too young to be speaking of such things. Apologize.”
“Yes, Mama.” Alejandro’s face and the tips of his ears are bright red. “I’m sorry.”
“No worries.” Poor kid.
“Thanks for keeping an eye on them.”
“Of course, any time, Theo. How are you feeling?” I eye her very pregnant belly.
“I’m praying for cooler weather.”
“The heat must be uncomfortable for you, but it’s been great for Ben.” I wince and shake my head. “I’m sorry. That came out wrong. I wasn’t gloating on Ben’s behalf.”
Ben Willard owns Sweet Creations. He went on and on about how the abnormally warm weather was spectacular for his bottom line.
Theo laughs. “No worries. I didn’t take it that way. A boon for one business is good for the others. I’ve seen the lines.”
“And you don’t have to stand in them.” Theo’s cop husband also has priority over the eclairs. They are Theo’s latest cravings.
Ben’s graciousness to Theo and her family is due to his friendship with Theo’s sister-in-law, Nora.
Nora is a mainstay of the shop and has her own reserved table.
On the days that she’s here, I sit on a barstool next to the sweet treats in their display case and listen to her tap away on the keyboard of her laptop.
I’m not certain what she’s working on, but the beats of the taps are inspiring.
Nora must love what she’s writing about.
She’s a senior at DU too. When she sees me on campus, she acknowledges me with a nod and a smile, but that’s as far as our interactions go, though we have a friend in common—Asher Tran.
Asher is Nora’s BFF. Asher and I went to the same high school. I was the one who introduced her to José. She, in turn, introduced José to my brother. The three of them have a complicated relationship.
Asher and I spent time dancing at Red Dahlia, but not together. She has her friend group, and I have mine.
“When are you due?”
“Around Christmas.”
“It’ll go by quick.”
“I hope so. Well, kids, we better get going. Ever wants to close shop and do whatever college girls do on a Wednesday night.”
Study. Unwind. Doomscroll on my phone. Exchange cheesy text messages and GIFs with the girls.
Theo’s kids come up with something else.
“Party, party, party!” Francia and Alejandro chant.
Theo’s eyes and mine widen, and our jaws slacken before we break out in laughter. Theo’s laughter trails off, and she shakes her head. “The kids are on their tablets and social media way too much.”
I agree.
The kids scoot back their chairs and hop off. I follow them to the door. “See you later.”
“Bye, Ever.”
After my usual closing routine is done and I’ve checked off the boxes on Ben’s list that hang on a clipboard in the back office, I grab my backpack, lock up, and walk to my car.
Alejandro’s question loops in my mind like a song I can’t get out of my head. Ever, have you been kissed?
I’ve only been kissed by two men. Carlos’s was an innocent one until it wasn’t.
Bobby’s kiss was born from a fantasy, until it wasn’t.
Now the fantasy is a slap in the face, and I have to face the reality of what he is, a playboy, the enemy.
He warned me, didn’t he, when he said relationships aren’t in the cards for him?
Was Bobby laughing to himself during the times we were together, knowing he got the best of me with his deception? That jerk!
I stomp to my car. My backpack smacks me in the back.
During a class we have together, Skylar mentioned that a big, muscular, tattooed guy visited the registrar’s office, asking questions about me.
When I asked for more details, her description matched Mr. Snarly Face.
Of course, Skylar spilled the beans. He’s eye candy, sex on two legs, and she’s a sucker for the bad-boy type.
I get in my car, throw the backpack on the passenger seat, and slam the door shut. How dare Bobby send someone to check in on me? He has a lot of nerve, that’s for sure.
I make the thirty-minute drive back to my rental, fuming. Why not forget me already? He knows better than to piss off my brother and the crew after I went on and on about my brother, his rules, and my “shadow.”
The stoplight turns red. While I sit and wait for the light to turn green, I talk myself down from my anger. Gage is intuitive for a guy, and with how pissed off I am, he’ll know something is wrong the instant I walk inside the house.
Damn it, if I ever run into Bobby again, I will . . . I white-knuckle the steering wheel and blow out a breath. I’m not sure what I’ll do if I run into Bobby. I haven’t thought that far. Gage is as far as I’m thinking. Intuitive. He’s damn intuitive. I relax my grip and take easy, calming breaths.
The last year of school is intense, and I’m already feeling behind with the amount of homework the professors are dishing out and the number of parties the girls and I are being invited to. Or more like Riley, Arie, and Syn are getting invited to.
Arie’s best friend, Cooper, is the kicker for the football team.
No explanation needed for why everyone wants him at their parties.
Athletes are treated like gods at DU. Having Riley’s on-off boyfriend, Midnight, and Syn’s best friend, Dare, show up at a party is equivalent to having A-list celebrities in attendance.
The girls invited me to crash Galley’s insane “Welcome to the Jungle” themed party with them, but I made the excuse that I’ll be too tired after working all day. The truth is that Gage insisted we talk, but did he have to text me in caps? Jesus.
The light turns green, and I drive through the intersection. Two blocks in, I take a right onto the street that dead-ends. I drive past the last house to my right and back my car in next to Gage’s pickup truck in the driveway.
After grabbing my backpack and locking my car, I unlock the front door and open it, but Gage beats me to it. The door opens, my backpack is grabbed from my hand, and I’m waved inside by my moody bodyguard.
“Why all caps?” I walk inside and plop down on the couch with my arms crossed as he closes the front door and locks it.
Gage strides over and sits across from me, taking up considerable space on his grandmother’s old coffee table that we moved from her place. She wanted to throw the old thing away, but Gage kept it for sentimental reasons.
There are old tooth marks on the edges and chewed-off pieces on the corners from her dogs, both of whom have passed away. Gage grew up with them. It must’ve been difficult to lose both dogs and have his fiancée call off their wedding in the same month.
He drops my backpack at my feet. “You know the reason for all caps. It’s an emergency.”
“Then call the bakery. My phone is in my backpack, on silent, when I’m working.”
“What have we told you about keeping your phone on?” He leans forward with his oversized palms on his thighs, bringing us almost nose to nose.
I cross my eyes. He cocks a brow. I waggle mine. The corners of his mouth twitch, but he doesn’t look away. I go in for the kill with my arms outstretched, aiming for his ribs. He lurches back and avoids a tickling. I fall back onto the couch and puff out a breath. Damn, he’s getting good.
I stare at my backpack and recite Ty’s rule. “My cell stays on regardless of where I am, and I answer no matter who I’m with.”
He picks up my backpack off the floor and rummages through it. Having nothing to hide, I let him.
“Well?” I ask after he pulls textbooks, notepads, and loose papers out and sets them on the table. “Anything incriminating that you can report back to Ty?”
He lets out a breath that’s a mix of frustration and relief. “You know why we go through this.”
“I’m not that sixteen-year-old anymore.” I roll my eyes in frustration. “I’m not my mom.”
“You fucking overdosed using your mom’s drugs. You put the crew through hell. We didn’t know if you’d die or live but be brain damaged. Your father sent a message to Ty for not keeping a close enough eye on you. Do you want him to rain hell on us again, E? On Ty?”
“It was one time,” I protest, annoyed that everyone continues to use my past mistakes against me.
My father’s men ransacked the house and tore it apart, looking for hidden stashes of my mom’s godawful habit before they poured gasoline on Ty’s truck, his pride and joy, bought with his hard-earned money working as a bouncer at Red Dahlia, and set it on fire.
The truck was a loss. Our childhood home was so torn up that my brother had to pay a lot of money out of his emergency fund to have Arie’s brothers fix it up. Ty worked nonstop afterward to rebuild his emergency fund. It’s my fault he was never around to keep me out of trouble.
Then Carlos kissed me, and I was lost to a different kind of trouble that my father could never know about. He would kill Carlos, a man ten years older than me, for touching his little princess. Though he’s been in prison my whole life, Dad and I are close.
“Anyway, if I were doing drugs, I wouldn’t stash them in my backpack. Too obvious.”
They’re the wrong words to say. Gage grabs my arms and yanks us to our feet. “Fucking touch that shit and I’ll take you to your father myself, you hear me?”
I twist out of his hold and sit. “Loud and clear.”
“Promise you won’t touch that shit or anyone else’s again.”
I smooth my palms over my pants. My knees bounce. I lower my gaze. I hate talking to anyone about what happened on my sixteenth birthday. “It was one time,” I mutter.
“Ever.”
“Fine. I promise I won’t touch any illicit drugs or sample someone else’s stash.”
“I’m not joking.”
“Neither am I.” I mime crossing an X over my heart.
“I don’t trust you, E. Don’t move.” Gage grabs my car keys off the kitchen counter and slams the front door shut behind him. I wait with my knees pulled to my chest and my chin resting on my arms on my knees.
Gage returns and tosses the keys on the kitchen counter. He plops down beside me on the couch.
I side-eye him. “Find anything?” I’m resigned to letting Gage believe I haven’t learned from my mistake and will hurt him and Ty again. But Bobby believed in me when I said I learned. How can a guy who deceived me trust me more than my own brother and his best friend?
“No. But someday you’ll slip, E, and I’ll be there.”
“To prove you were right all along?” How does one go about changing someone’s mind when they’re unwilling to open their eyes and minds and realize I’m not that insecure, scared, and lonely teenager?
“To save you, Ever.”
I smile through the crushing weight on my chest. A girl needs saving, but it isn’t me. “Very chivalrous of you. Finley would’ve greatly appreciated your sentiments.” Instead of saving her, Gage lashed out at his ex.
His expression locks up tight before he slightly shakes his head, like he’s clearing his mind, and ignores my small jab at his personal shortcomings.
“We have an emergency.”
“Who is ‘we’?”
“Me. Your brother. The crew.” He ticks off each item on his fingers.
“Wait, all of you have some kind of emergency?”
“Yeah. It’s unprecedented.”