Chapter 31
EVER
I pace inside my small living room. After we dropped off the signed paperwork at the community center, Bobby made me promise not to go to that part of town without him.
There’s a knock at the door. I hurry over and peek through the peephole. It’s Bobby, and he has a bouquet of sunflowers and white roses in his hands. So that’s where he went after dropping me off and saying he’ll be back soon.
I let him inside and lock the door behind him. Seeing him again has my nerves on edge. Time is against us. He walks over to the kitchen and puts the bouquet in a vase of water. I stare at the cords of muscles of his broad shoulders and back.
Gage returns to Dumas in six days. Braxton’s release date is around the corner. The house behind mine isn’t nearly done.
On the drive home, Bobby said he’d hired Arie’s brothers to do the work.
He is paying triple their cost to get it done in eight weeks.
I was surprised he shared that with me and told him so.
He said transparency is important in a relationship, and there’s no harm, no foul in telling me the house will be ready in time for Halloween decorations and a party, if I want one.
The first thought that crossed my mind was how nice it would be to have a couple’s theme for our Halloween costumes, followed by Crimson must be doing well if Bobby has that kind of money to spend.
Which then led to me thinking about his trip to the Bay Area, and Bobby’s connection to my friend Blaise Lexington, the famous recluse who was kidnapped and held for ransom when she was thirteen.
People who don’t know Blaise think she’s a wealthy and self-absorbed socialite who wears satin gloves and avoids physical touch because she believes she’s better than us mere mortals.
They’re wrong.
Blaise is the nicest, sweetest person I know. People don’t understand the gloves, and avoiding physical touch is Blaise’s way of dealing with the trauma of being buried underground by her kidnapper. Who wouldn’t be messed up after something like that?
I was delightfully surprised when Blaise texted out of the blue that she met an acquaintance of mine, a Bobby Bliss.
It was wrong of me to ask for more information. I should’ve gone straight to the source. But what I know about Bobby is biased by my feelings for him, and I had to ask my questions.
What was he like? I’d texted. Who’s on the guest list? “Mad” Maddox Stassi was there. He’s wanted Blaise’s limited sports car for a year now.
When she last visited, we all met at Dare’s house, and Blaise had gone on and on about this annoying billionaire who keeps pestering her and her bodyguards about selling the car to him. She looked annoyed. Personally, I think she likes him.
Blaise said Bobby hadn’t kissed her gloved hand like he usually does when they meet at these business meetings and parties. That’s what clued her in that there was a woman in his life. Bobby is faithful to his core, she said. Then she dropped news about him that I would’ve never guessed.
Bobby’s mom was a distant cousin of Sir Arthur Lexington. Holy fuck, Bobby is related to English royalty and Blaise. I was so excited I squealed with happiness and video-called her.
She answered right away. “I’m so happy for the two of you.
” Her one blue eye and one green eye shone.
Before we ended our call, we caught up on my college classes and work, and she told me about the parties she’d attended.
Happy that she was doing well, I clasped my cell to my chest and stared at my bedroom ceiling.
Bobby hung up some of my plushies on the ceiling fan blades to get them off the floor. The cars and trucks stared down at me. Cars. Carlos’s cars. Where were they? Who killed him? My excitement at seeing Bobby wanes, replaced by this twinge in my chest.
I can’t move on until Carlos’s killer or killers are found.
Hands grasp my wrists and bring my arms around a thick waist. A finger skims over my bottom lip. I blink and lift my head. Bobby stares back. Large palms cup my face, and he dips his head. Time slows. My thoughts fade. Bobby’s eyes are all I see. I can’t think. I’m speechless.
“Remember what happens when you overthink? When I leave you speechless?” He moves closer. His pupils dilate. His thumb caresses the arch of my cheek.
I open my mouth to say, “I do.”
His mouth on mine takes the words from me and robs me of breath. I slump into his embrace like my bones have turned into jelly. My arms circle his neck. Bobby deepens the kiss and swallows my moans.
“I need you,” I murmur between our kisses. “Please, Bobby.”
I’m needy. Desperation lines my words. I couldn’t give a care anymore.
I’m not my mom, looking for her next hit, her next high.
I get up every day, even when I’d rather drown in my sadness and memories of Carlos or be weighed down by regret for what happened to Braxton.
I get out of bed and attend my classes. I go to work.
I volunteer at the community center. I am not needy or desperate.
I’m in love with a man I shouldn’t be with, and it kills me that my love for Bobby could be his death sentence.
I have to see my father. He needs to know I’ll never visit, and I’ll send back every plushie he’s ever sent me if he ever hurts Bobby.
I’ll tell Gwen about us and hope and pray that she’ll forgive us.
What’s that saying? It’s better to ask for forgiveness than for permission?
What’s done is done.
I’ll bring Bobby with me to Sunday brunch and ask Ty and the crew for their forgiveness, too, but I’ll never ask for unanimous approval.
Love doesn’t need a vote. Like José said, I’m a grown woman.
I’m not that sixteen-year-old girl who overdosed on her mother’s drugs.
I’m not that seventeen-year-old girl who distracted a guy with her happiness, and he missed the curve in the rain squall.
Having straddled life and death when I OD’d and when Braxton crashed the car, I can handle everyone’s judgment and disapproval over who I choose to fall in love with.
Ty said the doctors told him that I coded twice from blood loss during surgery.
Long bone fractures can cause significant blood loss.
Who knew? Then I heard, “Live for me, Ever.” The words were garbled at first. The other times, the person’s voice was hoarse or the words hitched, like the person had been crying.
My eyes fluttered open. Carlos’s face filled my vision. “Live for me, Ever.” He repeated the words. Tears fell from his eyes as he sat next to my hospital bed.
“Why do you care so much? You barely know me,” I asked, my throat scratchy from the ventilator tube that kept me breathing until I came out of anesthesia.
Then, when I came to after I’d overdosed.
The doctors pumped my stomach and kept me from descending into unconsciousness again with reversal drugs.
“One day you’ll save a life. Live, Ever.”
Except I couldn’t save him. He saved me, and I failed him.
I’m floating. Moving. A door opens. Light fills the bedroom. I’m set on my bed, my weight depressing it. Plushies pile on me.
Bobby tenderly picks up each of my father’s gifts and stacks them on the floor and against the large bookshelf across from the foot of my bed. How he has them stacked is . . . Laughter shoots from me. We’ll have an audience for our lovemaking.
Bobby’s lips quirk. “Not an obsession, sweetness. You definitely like plushies.”
“Gifts from my father,” I admit. “His men leave them on the back porch, inside my car, or in Gage’s truck. They’ve been doing this since I was born.”
“He loves you.” Bobby gets on the bed and brackets his arms alongside my head.
I skim my finger over the scar on Bobby’s eyebrow.
“My father is a dangerous man.” I lift my head and tell him something I’ve never told anyone.
“He was an enforcer for the McCabe family. My great-great-grandfather was a McCabe. My grandmother married an Italian. My father was recruited. Loyalty means something to the McCabes. They’re indebted to my father for doing their dirty work.
He has his own men who have sworn loyalty to him, in the McCabe name,” I say near Bobby’s ear, afraid the walls could be listening and would pass on my confession to any of my father’s men who stop by the rental unannounced and hiding in the shadows.
“Am I supposed to be scared shitless?”
“Yes.” Why wouldn’t he be? “I’m not telling you a clean and wholesome bedtime story. I’m giving you the violent version where characters are missing their limbs and their heads!”
Bobby kisses my nose. I turn from him. His tenderness will not placate me. “He’ll kill you, Bobby.”
“If he does, he wouldn’t be an honorable man. Honor is important to him. So are his promises. He gave me his permission to see you, Ever.”
“What?!” I push him off me. “When? When the hell did you visit him? Why didn’t you tell me? Why would you risk your life like that?” I get off the bed and point a finger at him. “One of these days, your overconfidence will get you killed.”
Overconfident. Dressed and looking stunningly handsome and important in a blue suit. He was in Ravenna for a business trip. Ravenna.
That’s where my father is.
I know, baby.
I suck in a breath. “The day you were with Gwen, talking to Miss Hopper, you were at the prison talking to my father. How’d you get access? My father rarely takes visitors.” I cross my arms and stomp my feet.
He shrugs. “Same as everyone else. I put in my application and went through the approval process.”
“This is not like applying for a credit card or a home loan, Bobby. My father is a mobster!” I whisper-yell. I clutch at my chest. Oh God, Gwen is rubbing off on me. “He has enemies. They’ll find out you visited One Shot and take you out like that.” I snap my fingers.
Bobby has the nerve to tackle me, grab me by the waist, and haul me onto the bed. And the kicker? He’s laughing. Fucking laughing!