Chapter 22
Chapter Twenty Two
Nico
Before we got back to the Brownstone, I made a grocery delivery order, one of those items of course being toothbrushes and toothpaste, as well as some essential items for the weekend.
I haven’t stayed in this house…ever actually.
It’s maintained by a weekly cleaning company though that I keep on retainer for all of my properties.
The place is immaculate because of it but it’s never really felt lived in.
Not until Cassi literally stepped foot through the door and suddenly it felt like the entire property shifted before my eyes.
Instantly, I was ripped back to my childhood, in a home that felt warm and light.
Where laughter was filling every space better than priceless art and statement furniture pieces ever could.
She feels like comfort, like happiness. She feels like home.
I honestly couldn’t tell you what has happened to me. Eight days ago, I would have laughed if someone told me I was thinking what I’m thinking, feeling what I’m feeling. Here I am, though.
When the car stops out front of the house, George gets my door and I slide out before offering Cassi my hand. I tip George and rest my hand against Cassi’s lower back as we move to the front steps.
“So, is George like your personal driver or something?” Cassi asks.
I nod as I come to the grocery bags that are waiting for us, bending down to pick them up as I offer my keys to Cassi so she can unlock the door. She does so wordlessly as I speak.
“He’s one of several, though he’s my favorite so I try to only use him when he’s available.”
“You don’t know how to drive yourself from one block to another orr?” she says dryly.
I roll my eyes at her smartass comment, but I can’t hold back my smirk.
“I can, but have you not noticed parking is in short supply around here? It’s just easier sometimes.”
She shrugs and I can’t tell if it’s because she agrees or because she doesn’t feel like disagreeing with me. No, that can’t be it. I swear, disagreeing with me has to be one of her favorite past times. For some odd reason, I kinda like it too.
When we step inside, I kick the door shut before moving into the kitchen and setting down the groceries onto the island. Cassi begins helping me unload the bags and she pulls out several items before giving me a puzzling look.
“Bread, cream cheese and jam…Nico Sanders, is this your ego salvaging way of saying you are actually intrigued by the idea of my late night treat?”
I do my best to hide my amused smirk as I shrug my shoulders.
“I know you like them, I figured if you’re here for a few nights, the least I could do was have your favorite snack on standby.”
“Be still my heart, that’s romance right there,” she says with a dramatic sigh as she places her hands over her chest and bats her eyelashes at me.
I shake my head at her theatrics as I finish unpacking the rest of the groceries.
“I figured we could order in for dinner tonight, if you’d like.”
“Well, since you flew me out all this way to have your way with me, the least you could do is feed me, yes?” she smiles teasingly.
For some reason, the joke sits sour on my stomach, though. I pause what I’m doing as I look down at her, cupping her face as I shake my head.
“Didn’t we just go over this? I didn’t bring you out here to fuck you, I could have stayed in Seattle for the weekend and done that. I brought you because I wanted you here, not your pussy. You.”
She blinks at that like she’s surprised, but even with my words, I can tell she doesn’t believe me. Sighing to myself, I shake my head as I press a kiss to her forehead.
“You’re an incredibly irritating woman, do you know that?”
When I pull away, her green eyes are practically glimmering up at me as she nods.
“I’ve been told that a time or two, yes.”
A laugh rips through my chest as I run my hand through my hair and sigh, pulling out a stack of take out menus that have probably been here for over a decade as I drop them onto the counter.
“Pick a place.”
An hour later, we are laying on the couch, our tikka masala long forgotten as we watch some early 2000s comedy that Cassi picked. She also convinced me to build a fire, which honestly was harder than I imagined. I thought I was going to lose my man card there for a minute.
Cassi is engrossed by the show, laughing and giggling every few minutes, glancing up at me from time to time to make sure that I’m still awake. I am, of course. I’m just not the least bit occupied by the show.
Instead, I’m paying acute attention to the way her heart sounds as it beats against me.
The soft rhythm of her breathing, how it perfectly matches mine so effortlessly.
I can’t focus on anything when her soft curves press against me like they were always meant to.
I’ve absolutely lost my goddamn mind, and I couldn’t care less.
I’m not just into Cassi Fischer, I’m enamored.
I’m infatuated. I’m flirting with a line that is far too close to love for my comfort.
Out of practically nowhere, she bounces to her feet, looking down at me before she pulls me to stand.
“Where are we going?” I ask.
“To the kitchen. It’s grilled jam and cheese time.”
I laugh at that. “How are you still hungry? Those portions were huge.”
She pauses, turning to me sharply as she watches me closely.
“Nico, in case you weren’t taught this as a child, there is never an appropriate time to tell a woman when she has had enough food.”
Recognizing the dangerous waters I’m drifting in, I lift my hands in surrender as I nod.
“Yes, ma’am. My apologies.”
She nods like all is well before stepping into the kitchen.
She gathers all of the ingredients and slips into a routine all her own.
I can’t help but lean against the wall, admiring her as I do.
She’s so effortless in the way she lives life.
So unapologetically herself. She can make herself at home anywhere she goes.
It’s authentic and refreshing and I swear to god, I’m addicted to it.
Grabbing out a pan and some butter, she begins heating it before setting her slop of creations onto the buttered pan.
The bread sizzles in a way that has her doing a little happy dance.
I push away from the wall, closing the distance between us before I wrap my arms around her waist, holding her close to me.
She smiles as she looks over her shoulder at me.
“Can I help you?”
I shake my head.
“I’m good right here, thanks.”
Cassi tosses her head back on a laugh as she glances at me once more.
“How lovely for you. I, however, am busy creating culinary art, so if you could give me a little space…” she trails off, gesturing for me to release her.
I only hold her tighter, though, burying my head into her neck as I inhale her scent slowly and sigh. I hear an irritated groan that doesn’t sound irritated at all, really, before she continues her extremely important work.
Once the sandwiches have been flipped and properly grilled on each side, she cuts each diagonally and slides a plate in my direction. I don’t release her, so she settles for turning in my arms to face me.
“Bottoms up, big boy,” Cassi says as she holds out her piece.
I pick one up, grimacing as I look down at it.
“I think that only applies to drinks.”
She shrugs. “Says who?”
Cassi taps her sandwich with mine as if we were cheersing before taking a bite. She moans in pleasure, doing a little happy dance once more. I can’t deny I’m more than a little hesitant but when she looks up at me with those big beautiful expectant eyes, what am I supposed to do?
Taking a bite of the sandwich, dread is heavy in me as the contrasting flavors hit my tongue. I chew for a moment or two before the flavor changes. Both of them morphing into some kind of combination, that I hate to say, works. I continue chewing my bite, swallowing it down before Cassi speaks.
“So, what do you think?”
I look down at the sandwich appraisingly, honestly taken by surprise.
“It’s actually not bad,” I say as I take another bite.
She practically leaps into the air, pumping her fist in victory.
“I knew it! You love it, right? It’s literally the best little late night treat!”
I chuckle at her excitement and realize that in this moment, it could taste like manure and I would agree with her.
Anything I need to do to keep that smile on her face, I’d do it.
Luckily for me, it really isn’t terrible.
It’s different, but almost in a good way?
If I have to eat these damn things every day for the rest of my life to keep her this happy, it would be a sacrifice well made.
“I’m breaking up with Carly,” I say virtually out of nowhere.
It forces her celebration to pause, her smile to drop as her eyes watch me carefully.
Real, fucking smooth, Nico.
“When she gets back. I actually was planning to do so when we got back to Boston but then she took that cruise and…” I trail off for a moment and swallow as I look down at Cassi.
She doesn’t speak for several moments, though it looks like her breathing has become more ragged. I can practically see the millions of thoughts racing through her mind as she just stares at me.
“You two have broken up before, lots of times.”
I nod. “Which is why it needs to be done. It should have been the first time.”
“Then why wasn’t it?” she asks quickly.
I pause for a moment before shaking my head.
“Honestly, I don’t know. Loneliness combined with convenience.”
She seems to wince at that, like that was the wrong answer, but it’s the truth. I shrug as I set down the sandwich in my hand and reach for her. When she doesn’t pull away, I know I haven’t totally blown things as I continue.
“I know it’s not a perfect answer, hell, it’s not even a good one. I just thought…I don’t know. I thought it would be too hard to find anyone compatible. I thought it was easier to settle with Carly’s…quirks than to face the trial and error of dating in this day and age. Then I met you.”
Cassi’s face sours as she pulls away from me and shakes her head.
“If you’re about to make a speech about how you were going to keep dating my sister but then you met me and now you want to dump her, you should seriously revise that.”
“No, no,” I quickly say. “It’s not that it’s just…” I pause, not quite sure how to capture the right words as I sigh.
“Until that night with you, I’d been content with my life. Don’t get me wrong, I was so over our relationship. Her meltdown on Jackie was the last straw and a huge eyeopener to what kind of person I was with. Then I met you—”
“And we slept together before you went crawling back to her,” Cassi says callously.
I understand her hesitancy and her defensiveness. She has every right to have her guard up, I just hope I can prove to her that my words are genuine.
“And she called me sobbing, begging for me to at least meet your parents and save face. I had intentions on leaving that next morning and then, well, I saw you again. I had convinced myself that it wasn’t an accident.
That there was something bigger working.
Then every moment I spent with you, you were this sassy, infuriating, perplexing wonderful woman.
Suddenly, I didn’t care about being away from your sister if it meant giving me the opportunity to be closer to you. ”
Cassi looks at me for a moment like she wants to believe me before shaking her head.
“You do realize how fucked up that sounds, right? Like you hear it too?”
A humorless laugh escapes me as I nod.
“I know, I also know that you’re worried about what…
this is,” I say as I gesture between us.
“I want to make myself perfectly clear when I say that this, us, to me, means more than it probably does even to you. That it may not feel like it because of our current situation and so, as soon as I am able, I’m remedying it. For all of our sakes.”
“You don’t need to give me all these promises, Nico. I—”
“I don’t,” I say, cutting her off. “But I think you need to hear them. I think you need to hear me when I say that I have never felt a tenth of what I feel with you, with anyone else. Ever. I think you need to fully understand that I am not just lusting after you, I’m not falling for you.
I’ve already fallen, hard. I’m splattered on the side of the goddamn sidewalk.
So, I’m giving you a heads up. You need some time to catch up, and that’s okay.
I have some things to take care of before I can have you the way I want you, and that’s okay too.
Just so we are clear, though, I’m giving you the notice because I need you to catch up, babygirl.
I’m ready and waiting for you to fall too. ”
Fuck. My heart is racing. When did that start?
I couldn’t even repeat half of what I just said.
I blacked out. My mouth opened and word vomit just poured out, and it didn’t stop until every innermost thought I’ve possessed over the last week was out and in the open.
The idea of playing it cool is officially shot to hell, and the only thing I can hope is that I haven’t scared the shit out of her and sent her running for higher ground.
“Nico, I—”
I hold her face in my hands, bringing my lips to hers as I stall her words. When I pull back, I whisper against her lips.
“You don’t need to say anything. I don’t expect anything. I just…I never want you to worry, to doubt yourself or how I feel about you. I wanted my priorities to be clear, that despite literally all reason or logic, you have sky rocketed to the top of that list.”
She blinks once, emotion practically drowning her features as she shakes her head.
“You don’t need to wait for me to fall, I’m already there.”