Chapter 6
CHAPTER SIX
“You dirty dog, you,” Alice squealed in delight as I finished telling her about my meeting with Xander in my bedroom and the way he’d stood so close to me and grabbed my hand.
“I’m not the dirty dog,” I said, annoyed. “He is. He’s the cheat. He’s —”
“Don’t get me wrong. He is definitely a dirty dog,” Alice agreed. “Maybe he’s a dirty rottweiler—or wait, what’s a bigger dog than a rottweiler? Maybe a Saint Bernard? Are they bigger?”
“Who cares if a Saint Bernard is bigger?”
“The dog in Beethoven—what breed was that?”
“Alice, I have no clue.” I knew I sounded exasperated. “And I don’t care. I have more pressing issues to discuss. Like what to do.”
“That’s why you’re a dirty dog.” She giggled.
“What do you mean?” I frowned into the phone, annoyed at her attitude. Didn’t she realize how serious this was?
“I mean, you’re asking me what to do. How can you be asking me what to do? You know what you should be doing as a good sister. There’s no question about it.”
“So, I should tell Gabby?”
“No, you shouldn’t tell Gabby. I don’t know.” Alice sighed. “That’s awkward. I would normally say yes, but she’s knocked up, and that just seems wrong.”
“I know. The pregnancy makes it harder.”
“Oh my God, I just thought of something.” Alice’s voice sounded shocked, and I sat up, my heart pounding.
“Oh, what is it, Alice?” I groaned. “And please don’t tell me you slept with him as well. I’m not sure I could take any more surprises like that.”
“No.” She giggled. “What if you’re pregnant as well? What if he knocked you both up? Wouldn’t that be crazy?” She sounded excited.
“Alice, that’s not something I even want to consider. Plus, he used condoms.”
“Condoms aren’t foolproof.”
“I thought you were going to make me feel better?” I wailed. “But instead, you’re making me feel worse.”
“You know what I wish?” Alice said without even acknowledging what I’d said.
“What?” I sighed, knowing she was going to tell me whether I cared to know or not.
“I wish you’d had sex with Luke.” She mentioned her ex-boyfriend, whom we both hated—me even more now that I’d slept with Xander at his wedding.
“Could you imagine what Joanna would say if she found out that Luke got you pregnant at the wedding? That would be priceless. I’d pay good money to see that. ”
“How much? Ten dollars?” I said sarcastically.
“No, I’d pay a grand,” she said seriously. “Yes, I would dip into my savings just to witness that.”
“You’re sick—you know that, right? Really, really sick.”
“I know.” She giggled and then let out a deep breath. “I’m a sicko, and you love it.”
“You’re lucky I love you, or I would have hung up the phone already.” I shook my head, smiling slightly at the thought that someone could bring Joanna to her knees. Even though the hypothetical person was me and it hadn’t happened.
“You know I’m sorry.” She sighed. “I am shocked for you. I don’t even really know what to say. Where have all the good men gone?”
“I wish I knew,” I groaned. “Maybe they’re all gay now.”
“Half are gay,” Alice said. “And a quarter are married.”
“So, where’s the other quarter?”
“If I knew, I wouldn’t be on the phone here with you.” She laughed. “I’d be at the back of some limo, having my brains fucked out.”
“A limo?” I giggled. “Why a limo?”
“Because if I’ve waited this long to find Mr. Right, he’d better be fucking gorgeous and rich to make up for all my misery.”
“Xander’s rich.” I wasn’t sure why I’d brought it up, but it seemed fitting in the moment.
“Lucky bitch.”
“I’m not really a lucky bitch because he’s not mine. Gabby’s the lucky bitch.”
“No,” Alice said simply. “She’s just a bitch.”
“Alice.”
“You know it’s true.” Her voice rose. “I know she’s your sister, and you love her, and yada, yada, yada, but she’s still a bitch. B-I-T-C-H, B-I-T-C-H, B-I-T-C-H, and bitcho was her name-O.”
“Alice.” I giggled. “You’re horrible.”
“I know; it’s the way I was born. My mom must have had me under a full moon or something.”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“So, are you coming home tomorrow then?”
“No.” I sighed. “My parents have some weekend activities planned for all of us.”
“Boring.”
“You know they love that shit.”
“Any of your brothers going to be there?” Alice asked innocently, and I smiled to myself.
“Yes, all of them are going to be here. It’s going to be a big family celebration.
Me, Gabby, Scott, Chett, Aiden, and the ’rents.
And then Xander and his brother, Henry.” I took a deep breath.
“We’re all going to be one big family.” Sarcasm drips from my tongue and I cannot believe that this is my life. It’s like a bad dream.
“Sounds fun,” Alice said wistfully, having grown up as an only child to two parents who loved to jet-set around the world.
“You know you totally have to come up tomorrow morning and stay the weekend with me, right?” I said softly, wanting her to know that I wanted her there, but not wanting her to think it was a last-minute pity invite.
“No, I can’t intrude. It’s Gabby’s big weekend.”
“You have to come,” I said quickly. “You’ll stay in my room and be, like, my bodyguard. What if Xander tries to sleep with me again and my whole family walks in on us in the bedroom, playing Cowboys and Indians?”
“Oh my God, so you would say yes if he tried to hook up with you again?”
“No.” My face reddened at my slip. “I mean, yeah—maybe—I don’t know. I know I’m evil personified to even think that could happen, but he’s just so gosh-darn sexy.”
“And you know they’re not in love.”
“Yeah.” I sighed. “Not that that really excuses anything. If I slept with him again now, knowing what I know, I’d be a bitch. A big bitch. A bigger bitch than Gabby.”
“That is true.”
“Thanks, Alice.” I pouted into the phone.
“I’m sorry, but it’s true. You can’t sleep with your sister’s baby daddy. That would just be plain wrong.”
“I know.”
“It would be worse than Jerry Springer wrong.”
“Nothing’s worse than Jerry Springer.” I laughed at her comment, remembering why we were such good friends. We were on the exact same wavelength.
“True.” She giggled. “So, what time should I come tomorrow?” she asked casually.
“Well, the brothers are all coming early, and we’re all going out for a pancake breakfast.”
“I love pancakes,” she said eagerly.
“So then, come early.”
“Are you sure?” she said, hesitant once again. “I don’t want to impose on family time.”
“Alice, you are family,” I said softly. “You’re my best friend, and my parents look at you like a third daughter, and my brothers look at you as another sister.”
Shit, why did I say they looked at her as a sister? I knew Alice had a crush on one of them, but I wasn’t sure which one.
“Well, thanks, I guess.” She sounded sad. “I’ll be there by nine.”
“Great! I can’t wait to see you.”
“Now, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do tonight.”
“I’m not going to do anything,” I said lightly and looked at my bedroom door. “I’m going to bed, and I’m not leaving my room until you get here.”
“You’re silly.”
“That’s why you love me.”
“I’m going to go pack now. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”
“Okay. Bye, Alice.” I hung up and lay back down on my bed and groaned as I stared at the ceiling.
Images of Xander popped into my mind as I lay there. Where was he right now? What was he thinking? Was he thinking about me?
I rolled over and buried my head in my pillow. I needed to stop thinking about him, or I was going to drive myself crazy.
I sat up in bed and decided to leave my bedroom. I wasn’t tired as of yet, and being in my bedroom was making me think of things I could do in my bed—naughty things that I shouldn’t be thinking about.
I decided to go down to grab a Coke from the kitchen and then go into the backyard and rock in the rocking chair that my grandmother had given us when I was a kid.
I loved the rocking chair; it made me think of my childhood and how happy I’d been, rocking on my dad’s leg or even one of my big brother’s, when they had time for me.
I’d had a happy childhood, aside from the fact that my sister had driven me up the wall for most of my teenage years.
I wasn’t sure if we’d ever have the kind of relationship that Alice and I had, and that made me sad.
“Turn around, and I’ll be the one you want to boom, boom, boom.” I made up words to the catchy song that was playing on the radio as I swung on the rocking chair on the back porch of my parents’ house.
The night air was cool, and I was grateful that it wasn’t another humid, balmy Florida night.
“Take me away, and we’ll boom, boom, boom on the moon, moon, moon.
” I giggled as I sang along to some girl crying out about not having a candy bar, pop, or boyfriend.
I felt that my lyrics were far superior to hers.
“You’ll boom, boom, boom before you come, come, come,” I sang out and then screamed as I felt a hand on my shoulder. “Argh.”
“Liv, it’s just me.” Xander’s voice was smooth behind me as he spoke, and my body tensed up immediately.
“Oh, hello.” I turned around and offered him a weak smile, ignoring his eyes and his chest. I stared at a spot on his ear and focused on that.
“I didn’t know you were a singer.”
“Huh? What?” I said stupidly.
“Have you hit any charts?”
“Charts?”
“Billboard? International? iTunes?”
“What?” I was so confused that my eyes left his ear and found his eyes. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about your singing career,” he asked with a small smirk. “Have you hit any best-selling charts or won any Grammys or anything?”
“You’re an asshole.” My eyes shot daggers into his as he tried not to laugh.
“It was an honest question. You did seem to be into that song you were making up.”
He grinned, and I shook my head.
“Whatever.” I couldn’t stop myself from responding to his smile. “I know I can’t carry a tune, but that doesn’t mean I can’t sing.”
“I didn’t say you should stop.” He nodded in agreement. “It was quite pleasant to listen to.”
“Sure it was.” I laughed. “My brothers pay me to stop singing.” I smiled at the memories. “In fact, my brother Scott once gave me twenty dollars.”
“Twenty dollars? Wow.” Xander tilted his head. “He must really hate your singing.”
“I think it was the song and the occasion.” I giggled.
“He was eighteen and had brought home his first proper girlfriend for Thanksgiving.” I thought back to the holiday.
“They were sitting out here, talking about some class they were taking, and I came out and started singing, ‘Love is a truly splendid thing.’ ” I started laughing harder.
“You should have seen the look on his face when I burst into the chorus and started throwing ripped-up pieces of paper on them.”
“Ripped-up pieces of paper?” Xander asked with a look of surprise.
“I didn’t have rose petals.” I giggled and started rocking back and forth. “If looks could kill, Scott would have committed murder that night. Instead, he gave me twenty bucks, so I made out pretty well.”
“See? Your singing career has been profitable.”
“Yeah, I guess you could say that.” I sighed as I rocked back and forth.
I could no longer see Xander, but I could still feel his presence behind me.
“Sounds like you were a troublesome child,” he said lightly.
I stopped rocking and looked back at him again. This time, I didn’t bother hiding my smile or laughter.
“It doesn’t seem to have ended though, has it?”
I raised an eyebrow at him, and he looked back at me in surprise. I knew that he was shocked at my laughter and that I was able to laugh at the situation we were in, given how dramatic I’d been earlier, but really, how could I not laugh?
“Are you okay?” He frowned at me, and I could see him searching my face as I laughed harder.
He probably thought I was crazy or having a meltdown. He wouldn’t be far off the mark.
“I’m fine. Why?” I said, finally calming down.
“I don’t know. You just seemed like you were losing it.”
“I’m fine. I just thought your comment was ironic, considering the mess we’re in.”
“I see.” His lip twitched. “It is slightly unusual, isn’t it?”
“You can say that again.”
I laughed, and his eyes fell to my lips and then back up to my eyes. His gaze was intense and searching, and my breath caught as we stared at each other. The only sounds in the air were our breathing and a distant bird calling out to its lost mate.
“The baby isn’t mine,” he said simply as he gazed at me.
“What?” I frowned, my heart racing. Was he telling the truth?
“Your sister’s baby—it’s not mine.” He looked away then. “I wasn’t meant to tell you that.”
“Why not?”
“It’s complicated.” He sighed and looked back at me. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have told you that.”
“Have you slept with Gabby?” I asked breathlessly. Please say no, please say no, please say no.
“Liv …” He started to speak and then stopped himself. “I should go inside now.”
“But you just came out.”
All of a sudden, I didn’t want him to leave. All of a sudden, I wanted us to have this conversation. All of a sudden, I felt lightheaded and giddy. Maybe, just maybe, I wasn’t so in the wrong after all. Maybe I didn’t need to be on an episode of Jerry. Maybe I wasn’t a backstabbing bitch.
“Liv, does it matter?”
“It matters to me.” I nodded and bit my lip.
“Then, no, I haven’t slept with Gabby,” he said seriously. “But I expect that to change once we’re married.”
“You’re still going to marry her?” My heart was jumping for joy, but my stomach was still in the pits.
“Why wouldn’t I?” He frowned as he gazed at me.
“I don’t know. Maybe because of a simple thing, like you slept with me.” My voice dropped as he looked at me, his expression not changing.
Why was he making this so difficult? Why couldn’t he just tell Gabby he made a mistake and then ask me out on a date?
I’d be willing to forgive him the transgression of asking Gabby to marry him.
He hadn’t really known me then. But he knew who I was now.
Why would he still want to marry Gabby? After we had such amazing chemistry together?
“So?” he said simply and then turned around. “Good night, Liv. Have sweet dreams, my dear.”
I didn’t answer him. My face was burning with embarrassment and shame.
“Try not to boom, boom, boom with too many moons,” he said with a light laugh.
I sat back in the rocking chair and moved back and forth quickly, trying to forget our whole conversation.