Bonus Chapter
Xander
There are days that I wake up and I forget what it means to be Xander James.
I forget what it means to be a billionaire, to be handsome, to have the world at my feet, because when I look at my life, I'm more than just my wealth.
I'm more than just my good looks, but oftentimes it feels like that's all anyone sees in me.
Sometimes I just want to disappear to a foreign land and have no one know my name.
Sometimes I just want to be able to walk into a bar and have a conversation and just talk about books and music and the best movie we've ever seen.
I never thought that that would ever be a possibility for me.
I never thought that I'd be able to let my guard down.
I never thought that I could just have instant chemistry with someone—a connection that was born just from my eyes meeting someone else's.
That was until I attended the wedding. That was until I saw her beautiful, curvaceous, smiling, silky hair.
I noticed her before she noticed me. She was chatting to her friend.
I'm not sure what they were talking about, but the way she giggled and threw her head back—immediately I felt something stirring in me.
And then, when her eyes finally caught mine and her chin jutted up in defiance, in a challenge, I knew I had to have her.
I had to meet her. I had to know who she was.
And even though this was the worst timing in the world, I didn't care, because I knew I had to taste her.
I am not someone that lives to eat. In fact, I eat to live.
I'm pretty healthy. I like vegetables. I like grains.
I'm not much of a sugar person. But I knew when I kissed her, when my tongue slipped between her folds and I tasted her sweet nectar, I knew I would always be thirsty.
I would always be hungry. I would always be craving this woman.
Sometimes it's funny how life happens, even when it's twisted and gnarly and absolutely, positively crazy, things can still go around.
I'd like to think that my personal and secret thoughts would always stay secret.
I'd like to think that there's a part of me that would be able to keep inside the gamut of emotions that spread through me upon getting to know her—the way she challenged me, the way she teased me, the way she made me question my entire life existence.
I will admit that it was fun playing the game.
I will admit that the challenge was enticing.
I will admit that I had doubts. There were many nights awake thinking, Am I a good person?
If I were, would I be able to do this? If I were, would I be able to live with myself?
For everything was just so complicated, and when I knew I was falling in love with her, all I could think was, Would her parents hate me? Would she hate me? Would I go to hell?
And yet it was so much more complicated than that.
Everything was so much more complicated.
And I knew deep down inside—I knew that it was all going to be okay, because that's the thing about love.
When it's real, when it's true, it always works out.
It's everlasting. And I know that that may make me sound like a fool or someone who's trying to explain away the many sins I have created and encountered. It's just not true.
The moment I laid eyes on her, I knew deep down inside, somewhere where my heart could sing and my joy could unfold, that she was the woman for me—the one that I would always love, the one that would light my heart on fire. And I'm never going to let her go.
Maybe one day my kids will see these words and they'll come to me.
They'll ask if I have any regrets, and I know as sure as my name is Xander James that the answer will be no.
I have no regrets. Not a single one. The only regret I could possibly have was not meeting her earlier in life, not getting to spend an eternity with her.
But I know deep down inside that she will always be a part of me, and I will always be a part of her.
Our DNA will become one—crazy as it sounds—but when two people are destined for each other, it will always happen, no matter the obstacles that they come across.