Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
Naomi
It’s the first day back from spring break and I realize how much I missed school.
That sounds weird, but honestly, I enjoy it.
I like studying and learning. I’ve even debated going for a master’s degree because I feel like there’s so much more I want to learn.
I’m definitely in the minority when it comes to that, though.
I’m one of the first students in the lecture hall for my first class, and I grab a spot off to the side, deciding to slide three seats in.
Arianna and Cassi both take this class too, so I want to save them a seat.
That is, if they still want to sit with me—though by they, I really mean Cassi.
I haven’t spoken to Arianna much since Cassi’s birthday, honestly.
She kinda went off the grid. Cassi, though, I’m dreading seeing.
Guilt gnaws at me as I think about our last conversation.
I didn’t mean to fly off the handle like that.
I was drowning in conflicting feelings, disappointment and guilt, and I lashed out at the person closest to me in that moment.
It sucks and it’s a shit excuse, and I plan to apologize, if she’s willing to hear me out.
As if my anxiety has summoned her, the door opens and she strides into the class, her red hair swaying behind her. She scans the room for a moment before her gaze lands on me. I wave, and she only hesitates for a second before heading towards me. That’s a good sign, right?
When she reaches my row, she slides into the seat furthest from me, and I give her a meek smile.
“Hey.”
A beat passes before she nods in response. “Hey.”
She begins settling in, staring down at the paper in front of her, and doesn’t say anything else.
Once the silence has reached an uncomfortable level, I ask, “How was your break?”
“Fine,” Cassi says, turning to me. “You?”
“It was… interesting.”
Interesting. That’s a choice word. I feel like I’m starting to forget what life looked like before break started.
Everything was different. Was it, though?
Or did I make one huge mistake that turned into unresolved feelings I never got a chance to process, and now I’m sitting here trying to process them, but they’re unrequited, so it’s best that I suffer in silence, even though he knows how I feel about him and I swear he at least used to feel the same way about me but won’t let himself admit it.
Phew.
Talk about an anxiety-fueled run-on sentence.
Cassi lifts a questioning brow, like she’s trying to see if I’ll elaborate.
Fat chance of that. Maybe if things had gone differently…
but no. I’m embarrassed, humiliated and ashamed that I’m lusting after my adopted brother and he doesn’t even want me back.
Forever that pathetic girl who doesn’t belong—the one that gets the door slammed in her face.
I’m an idiot, and I’d rather carry that shame in private.
Hoping to move the topic all the way off me, I face Cassi fully. “Are you still…? ”
Her expression transforms into something dark.
“Sleeping with my sister’s boyfriend? Yeah, I am,” she snaps. “That’s what you really wanted to know, right? You want to bitch me out? Tell me what a horrible person I am some more? Go ahead, I’m ready for it,” Cassi says, spreading her arms out as if to welcome my verbal blows.
Clearly, this isn’t the time or place for this discussion as the class is growing fuller every second. So I shake my head and sigh, turning my attention to the syllabus agreement in front of me. I begin filling it out as Ari comes rushing into the room.
She quickly slips between Cassi and I, something I’m kinda grateful for.
“Dude, you live right across the street,” Cassi scoffs. “How can you be the last person here?”
Ari looks around nervously and keeps her voice low. “Um, yeah. So I’m kind of not living there anymore.”
“What do you mean?” I whisper.
Arianna licks her lips as her eyes move from Cassi’s to mine. “I moved.”
“Where?” Cassi asks.
“Now that everyone has finally joined us, we can get started,” the professor says, shooting a pointed look at Arianna.
After the lecture, Arianna fills us in on what’s been going on. She didn’t hook up with just anyone at the club—she hooked up with her ex-stepdad. It was by accident at first, but then he followed her to her family’s annual cabin trip and… now they’re living together.
Shocked is the tamest word you could use for how Cassi and I both feel.
Honestly, I’m completely taken back. In a city filled with nearly a million people and an endless number of tourists, how is it possible that three of us can walk into a masked sex club, mess with three random strangers and somehow each of those strangers are some of the most inappropriate relationships possible?
Ari and her ex-stepdad.
Cassi and her sister’s boyfriend.
Me and my brother.
What kind of fucked-up game is this, and why did we get picked as the unfortunate winners?
It’s worse than just an accidental hookup. He and Ari are living together, so they’re getting full-on serious, while Cassi has become a playboy’s sidepiece, sneaking off to the other side of the country to drop her panties.
And me… I’m… Well, I guess nothing has really happened since that night.
That moment in the driveway was one-sided, which means any inappropriate relations started and ended inside that club.
Is it pathetic that I’m kind of jealous of my friends?
I’m upset that despite how wrong it is, they seem…
happy. Meanwhile, I’m over here, sullen and bitter.
Why is that? Well, I think Cassi unfortunately might be on to something.
I think this whole virginity thing is starting to eat away at my soul.
Finally, Cassi tells Ari we’re happy for her, and I make sure my expression says I agree, though neither of them look totally convinced.
Then Ari turns the conversation round to us. “Whatever happened with you two that night?”
“Hm?” Cassi asks.
“I know you both hooked up. We’ve never shared details, though, which isn’t like us. Now you know why I didn’t share mine because, I mean, I wasn’t exactly proud. Your turn bitches—spill.”
I panic for a moment, not sure if I’m ready to fess up yet, and then my phone rings. It’s just my mom, but I’ll take any kind of distraction right now.
“Oh, got to take this. See you guys later!” I cry and quite literally run off.
“Hello?” I answer, once I’m far enough away.
“Hi, sweetie. Sorry to bother you. I just wanted to know what you’d like for dinner tonight?”
I can’t help but laugh. “Anything is good with me, Mom.”
It’s been over two weeks since I’ve seen or heard from Kolter. Which isn’t surprising, I suppose. I went years without seeing or hearing from him last time, so I think it’s safe to say he’s gone for good. Again.
Mom still watches the door at each family dinner, even after Nick’s told her he isn’t coming. I hate how much it hurts her that he chose his dad over her; that he chose people who turned their backs on him over his true family.
Cassi and I were able to make up. I apologized for how judgmental and out of line I was; she apologized for throwing my virginity in my face. Honestly, though, I don’t blame her for doing so. I don’t think it was just out of malice. She’s on to something, and it’s time I rip off the dang Band-Aid.
That’s how I’ve ended up back at X—the elusive, brandless sex club that started all three of us down this journey.
I didn’t tell anyone I was coming. In hindsight, maybe that wasn’t a great idea.
Though this is much safer than going out downtown and possibly getting roofied, I still can’t help but feel… nervous.
I stare at myself in the bathroom mirror, then close my eyes and blow out a deep breath. “You can do this. You are sexy, you are desired. Anyone would be happy to snatch your V-card off you. Tonight is the night.”
Feeling more secure after my little pep talk, I wash my hands then slip out of the bathroom. There’s an employee standing at the bottom of the stairs with a tablet in his hand who smiles at me when I make eye contact.
I do my best to hide the subtle shaking in my hands as I make my way towards him.
“Hi. Um, I was wondering where I could find a partner for, um, sex?”
Cringe. Could the ground maybe swallow me up now please?
The man smiles at me patiently. “I always suggest mingling at one of our many bars to ensure you make the right match. If you’re looking for something a little less personal, though, you can simply step into one of our rooms and hang a colored card on the door handle.
Silver means you’re looking for a single partner.
Gold means you’re looking for many. Red is…
well, I think you’ll be set with silver or gold. ”
I nod. “And, um, where do I find these cards? And the rooms?” I wince. “Sorry.”
He shakes his head and smiles as he gestures someone over. “Not a problem. Claudette will take you where you need to go. A private room please. One where she can invite a partner. Will you also show her the cards?”
“Of course.” She smiles at me. “This way.”
I follow the pretty woman up the stairs.
“Is this your first time here?” she asks.
“No, I just haven’t done… this part before.”
She looks back at me, attempting to conceal her smile. “Well, let me tell you, looking the way you do, I don’t think you’ll have any trouble at all finding a partner for the night.”
Her tone is warm, encouraging. She basically just told me I’d have no problem getting laid in the same way a stranger would tell you they love your skirt. It’s a little strange how different this world is, and I can’t help but laugh.
When we reach the private rooms, Claudette opens an empty one for me and lets me inside.
Instantly, my jaw is on the floor. Holy moly. This is way nicer than the other rooms I experienced. Everything is luxe, leather and… posh? But like in a BDSM kind of way. It’s hard to explain. I definitely didn’t expect anything near this nice.
I turn to Claudette. “Who pays for all of this?” I ask.
“Hm?”
“The rooms, the entertainment. I haven’t been asked to pay for a thing besides drinks both times I’ve been inside. I can’t help but wonder who funds this place.”
She smiles. “Our paying members get exclusive benefits—that more than covers things. And the rest of our clientele find us through word of mouth, so that keeps things exclusive.”
I nod and look around the room in awe.
“Over here are your cards. What are you looking for tonight?”
“Um, just one please.”
She grabs the silver card from the wall. “I’ll put this one up for you. Relax, make yourself comfortable, and if you need anything, security is just outside these doors.”
“Thank you,” I say.
She smiles and slips out of the room, leaving the door halfway open—I assume so people can peek in and decide if they like what they see?
For a moment, I just stand awkwardly in the middle of the room, resting my hand onto my hip. Then I choose to sit on the edge of the bed. Should I lie down? Look inviting? What’s a pose that says, This V-card isn’t gonna swipe itself?
A few people walk past, poking their heads in curiously before going on their way, and my disappointment grows with each one. What if I’m not good enough? What if no one picks me? What if I strip down naked, dip myself in a vat of oil and I’m still not sexy enough for anyone to want to screw me?
I lower my head, about to accept defeat, when the door is pushed fully open.
I look up to see a handsome man with strawberry-blonde hair and a black mask.
He’s wearing a crisp black jacket and matching slack with a white undershirt.
His eyes roam over me for a moment before a smile lights up his face.
“Mind if I join you?” he asks.
Hope begins to bloom inside me. I could definitely do worse.
I wave him inside. “Please.”
Please? Really, Nay?
He grins then snatches the silver card off the handle before shutting the door with a resounding thud.
His eyes never leave mine as he swaggers across the room. My heart is beating in my chest like a drum, and there’s a lump lodged firmly in my throat, no matter how hard I try to swallow it down.
When he reaches me, he hesitates for a moment before gently cupping my chin. “What do you like?” he asks.
“I… I don’t know. I’ve never… This is my first…” I trail off.
Excitement lights up his features. “Relax, I’ll take great care of you.”
I nod as he slips his hand up to cradle my face, pulling me towards him for a kiss. I sink into it, my stomach flipping at the contact. His tongue pushes into my mouth almost all at once. It’s a little much, but I adjust to it and tangle my tongue around his.
Slowly, he pushes me backward onto the bed, covering my body with his as he begins peppering my neck with kisses.
I’m buzzing with nerves, adrenaline and I think a little bit of euphoria.
Everything feels so good. I can’t believe I waited so long to do this.
And for what? I’ve never had a good reason.
It just never felt right. But I can tell you, in this moment, everything feels just right. Great, even.
Layer by layer, he strips down before peeling off my dress and panties until I’m left in only my heels. Then the man grabs my leg, running his tongue down my calf to my shoe.
Okay, a little odd, but I’m gonna roll with it.
“Fuck! How is this your first time? Look at you!” he says reverently. “Can’t wait to eat this pussy.”
I smile shyly and shrug as he crawls in between my legs, burying his face between my thighs before his tongue licks through me.
“Oh my God!” I say, my hips bucking against him.
He licks through me again and again. It feels a little probing at first, but when his tongue slides over my clit, a moan escapes me that has him grinning.
“You like that, princess?”
“Princess?” I question.
He smiles. “You look like a princess from one of my daughter’s movies.”
Something about that sentence rubs me the wrong way, but I do my best to ignore it. Closing my eyes, I force myself to be in the moment. To enjoy this.
His tongue wiggles through me a few times, stroking against my clit occasionally. I’m so close—all I need is him to focus a little more on my clit and it’s straight to orgasm town for me. Is it rude if I give him pointers, though? Will he be offended?
Whatever. I’m sure it’ll be fine.
When he runs his tongue against my clit again, I grind myself against his face, and he seems to get the hint. My eyes roll into the back of my head as my orgasm starts creeping in
And then another body touches the bed.
My eyes fly open, and there’s Kolter standing before me. No mask, just a look of fury on his face.
Before I can even process what’s happening, he’s jammed a knife into the back of the guy’s neck, pushing it up with such force that his head drops instantly, blood already drenching the bed.
My mouth drops as I look at the scene in front of me with wide eyes.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
I… I think he’s dead.