26. Jesse
JESSE
I n the time we’d been fooling around, I’d never taken Adrian to my house. I made the excuse that his place was easier to get to in town, and while it wasn’t a lie, it wasn’t entirely the truth either.
My brothers and I had built our own houses, each of us helping the others at varying stages but shouldering the majority ourselves.
“It’s small but?—”
“I can assure you it’s not,” Adrian says wryly from the passenger seat. We agreed to leave his car in town, our fingers intertwined as I drove us through the winding back roads to my home.
“The house is small but there’s plenty of room for an addition.”
“I thought we were taking things slow.”
Swallowing down the emotion in my throat, I dip my head. “As slow as you need.” The silence that follows has me wondering if bringing him here was a bad idea, but I want him to see this part of me, something else no one ever has.
My sanctuary.
Maybe it’s too soon for him to see this place—a place that I built with my hands—but I need to show him I can commit as long as it’s for the right reasons.
He’s every reason.
“Show me.”
“What? Sure, just don’t move,” I tell him, unable to meet his gaze as I pull myself from the truck and round the hood. Uncertain and more than a little nervous, I grab the handle and open his door, a swirl of emotions clouding my vision.
And leaving me completely off-balance.
Which is why I don’t react when Adrian practically flies out of the car, tugs me toward him, and spins us until he has me pressed against the side of the truck.
“Enough,” he growls into my mouth, his fingers tangled in my hair as his tongue strokes mine.
“Yes.”
The single word is a groan, and right now all I want is to fall at his feet and suck his cock until he’s panting and fucking my mouth.
Until he knows how sorry I am.
Until he believes me.
“Get inside and stop looking so God damn sad. I can’t take it,” Adrian barks, annoyed and turned on and I’ll take that as a good sign.
“I just realized I don’t really know how to do this,” I tell him honestly, wrapping my arms around his waist when he tries to back away. “I don’t know how to date you, and I don’t want to fuck it up.”
Sighing, he relaxes against me, rolling his hips so his hard length rubs against mine. Dammit, why are we still talking when he could be inside me?
“You were already doing it. That’s why your indifference hurt so much.”
“I—”
“You acted like we were already dating, and even though you said it was just sex, it never felt that way. God knows I tried to remember things were strictly physical, but then you’d show up with a coffee or lunch or this card you saw that reminded you of me. ”
“I was trying to impress you and I just wanted to make you happy,” I admit and then let out a humorless laugh when Adrian’s eyebrows climb up his forehead. “Okay, fine. I didn’t see it. I’ve never been in love before.”
“What did you just say?” he asks, his body tensing as he stares at me. But all I can do is roll my eyes.
“I’m in love with you, Adrian. I love you.” Lowering my voice, I say, “It just took me a little longer to realize it.”
“Do you have any idea how mad I want to be? How frustrating and exhausting it’s been trying to keep myself in check because I was trying to respect your boundaries and now— all of a sudden —you’re all in.”
He’s allowed to be upset.
He’s allowed to need time.
Doesn’t mean the words aren’t tearing my heart out of my chest.
“You’re right. I’m sorry. That’s not fair to you. Shit. You said go slow and here I am telling you I love you and?—”
His mouth on mine cuts off the words spilling from my lips, his teeth nipping at my flesh as he pushes me harder against the truck.
“Shut up.”
“Sorry.”
He makes a strangled noise, the fact that I’m still not doing the right thing loud and clear. “Just because you’re intent on pushing all my buttons doesn’t mean I’m not out of my mind for you. Because I am, Jesse. I’m completely and hopelessly in love with you.”
“I’m sensing a but…” I tease, sliding my hands down to cup his ass.
“I need you to get inside and get naked because after everything you put me through, everything you put us through, I need to take my frustration out on someone.” Oh, thank God. “So move your ass, baby, because that someone is you. ”