Chapter 4
4
CLAIRE
I n the two weeks since I’d realized that I needed to heal the rift I’d caused between the man I’d had a crush on and myself, I hadn’t really seen him. He’d been healing and then gone back to work on desk duty, and I’d been working overtime making sure that everything was set for me to take a week off for this trip.
I still couldn’t believe I was going on a hiking trip in the Rocky Mountains in the middle of winter in Colorado with the Montgomerys, but once my friends began asking, it was hard to say no.
Honestly, it was always hard to say no to a Montgomery.
Including when they asked you to stay for a movie and not talk because they’d fallen asleep, and you couldn’t help but watch them because you were so damn scared.
Because you were always so damn scared.
But that didn’t matter in the moment. It couldn’t.
“I’m so sorry that you have to drive up alone,” Phoebe’s voice rang out over the car speaker, as I kept both hands on the wheel, and meandered my way up the winding road into the mountains. Thankfully it wasn’t snowing at the moment, but it had snowed the night before. Just a dusting to make it look picturesque, but a winter party with friends and the Montgomery family in the mountains was probably going to lead to only bad things. Mostly because for some reason my friends tended to end up in the hospital more often than not. Yes, I had joined them this last time, but I wasn’t alone in that.
“You had a meeting that you couldn’t cancel. It’s after the holiday season, at least.”
“Meaning I’m still doing decorations for events, beyond designing homes. You however, Ms. Party Planner. I cannot believe that you were able to take time off during your busiest season.”
I winced at her comment but knew that me working hours upon hours to actually make this happen was for a reason.
“I’m allowed to take a couple of days off.”
“You brought your computer with you, didn’t you? ”
“Of course I did. And I’ve been on work calls when I haven’t been on the phone with you. Totally paying attention to the road and I’m not going to drive off into a ditch down a cliff.”
“Okay, Claire. I’m hanging up. I want you to be safe.”
“I’m okay. I promise.” Out of the corner of my eye I saw a couple of deer or elk or some other horned creatures make their way through their own little path in the forest, and I prayed they wouldn’t go in front of my car. Okay, maybe I needed to be paying better attention. But if I was talking about work or to my best friend, I wasn’t worried about the fact that I would be spending a couple of days with Kingston and all of his friends and family.
“Hey, I have to go, babe. I have another meeting. But we’ll be up a couple hours after you. I promise.”
“I’ll hold you to it. We’ll get it all settled for you.”
“I’m excited to see everybody. And just relax. A fun little Montgomery friend winter party in the woods. What could go wrong?”
“You realize I’m driving with snow around? Why would you even ask that? The Montgomerys pretty much have their name engraved in the hospital walls.”
“I’ll have you know we are in a few hospitals,” Kane interjected. “We spread the wealth through the city of Denver. We’re not just in one suburb. ”
I laughed along with them and as I said my goodbyes, I tightened my hands on the steering wheel and made my way up the winding path.
The Montgomerys had owned a few cabins over the years within the family. Mostly because there were so many of them. They went in on them as a family and used them sort of as timeshares for just family members. The building was rarely empty, and now it was going to be home to ten of us tonight and the next night.
I still couldn’t quite believe I was invited, but I was trying to do better. To be with my people.
And not shut myself off in my room all the time.
It just seemed easier to do that though.
I was honestly still nervous though because Kingston was going to be one of the people. Thankfully though, with the majority of them being Montgomerys, it wasn’t completely coupled off. Aria I knew was bringing her friend, and Daisy and Hugh were also bringing their friend Crew, who happened to be good friends with another Montgomery, Lexington. So in the end, there were ten of us, but it wasn’t all couples. The cabin was big enough for everybody to bunk together in pairs, but not so much that it would feel awkward. Aria and I were bunkmates, and there were two queen beds waiting for us.
And Kingston was going to be there. And I hadn’t even spoken to him since the night I went over to his house.
I had been working on stepping out of my comfort zone. About getting out of my house, about speaking to people. When I had heard that he had gone in for a painful and life-changing procedure for someone else, I hadn’t been able to stay away.
And then I stayed there.
For hours.
It wasn’t until Oliver had come out from the bedroom, looking sleepy-eyed, that I finally got up and tucked Kingston in on the couch. Oliver hadn’t said anything, though I knew he had questions in his eyes.
I didn’t have answers for anyone.
Instead I had gone home and hadn’t spoken to Kingston since.
Only when he had texted me and thanking me for staying the night and for the cookies, I had given it a heart emoji, instead of a thumbs up emoji, or instead of ignoring him.
It was progress.
Somewhat.
I pulled up to the cabin, expecting to be one of the first people there. Mostly because I was early to everything. I knew Daisy and Hugh were going to be a little bit later because they had to drop off their daughter at her grandparents, but everyone else should’ve been arriving around the same time I was. Kane and Phoebe would be the latest ones because of Phoebe’s meeting.
I got out of the car and inhaled the sweet mountain air. It was so crisp, clean, and it felt as if my entire world had shifted.
I was alone in this moment and the vastness of this earth, surrounded by mountains and tall trees, with the snow from earlier still on the ends of the branches slowly falling down onto the patches beneath.
It was going to snow again later today, but not too much. Just enough so we would have a little bit of a photo-op and be able to have the fire going full blast, and then we would sleep, eat, and just enjoy ourselves.
I had pulled up next to Kingston’s car, and in that moment realized that no one else was there.
Well then.
When Kingston opened the door and walked down the steps of the two-story log cabin, I swallowed hard, and tried not to stare at the way that his thighs filled out those jeans, or how he had pulled the sleeves of his heather gray Henley up over his forearms.
He had pushed his hair back from his face and had on a gold bracelet that I knew his mother had given him one year for Christmas. He didn’t wear it often, but he sometimes did with a leather beaded bracelet, or his watch .
I hated the fact that I had noticed all of these little things about him.
That’s what happened when you had a crush on a man who hadn’t even realized you were alive.
I hadn’t meant to feel this way toward him. Not now, and surely not when we had first met. Phoebe and Kane had been going strong, sweet at first, innocent, and I had met Kingston on that same mountain.
A bear had scared us all, or at least me and Phoebe, and the experience had gotten us all together, and we had laughed and became friends.
Phoebe and Kane had clicked, and I had gotten all warm and tingly inside when I looked at Kingston.
And he had seen me as the little friend, maybe even a little sister.
And hadn’t that been demoralizing?
“Hey, you’re here.” He smiled, that half smile of his that popped out that dimple. He was too handsome for his own good.
I nearly tripped over my feet, just standing there. I had no idea how it happened, but he did that to me. It tugged up my scar slightly, and I winced, pressing my hand to the side. I was fully healed, but every once in a while, I got a twinge.
Kingston’s eyes widened and he nearly ran to me. “Claire? Are you okay?”
Embarrassed, I let my hand drop and I nodded. “Oh, I’m fine. Sometimes I just tug on my scar. But you know it’s life. You have scars too. That we don’t need to talk about.” I knew I was just blurting words at this point, so I had to make a full sentence. “How are you feeling?”
He studied my face, as if searching for far more answers than I had to give, before he gave me a nod, as if he were reaffirming that I was fine.
Such a big brother attitude.
“I’m good. Thankfully the nausea went away that evening, and I’m going to say it was thanks to your cookies.”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes, because the intake of sugar was probably good for you.”
“You never know. But I’m doing fine. No soreness at all. Thank God.”
“That’s good.”
He cleared his throat as I just stared at him and realized that I wasn’t sure what we were supposed to say. We used to be good at speaking to one another, having full conversations and talking about our days. Even when I’d been hopelessly attracted to him and everything about him, we’d been able to talk.
Then the attack happened, and nothing made sense anymore. And I’d finally come to terms with the fact that I had fallen for Kingston Montgomery, and he was never going to fall for me. So figuring that out had taken enough out of me that I had hidden .
But I didn’t want to hide anymore. Even if that meant knowing nothing would happen with him again ever.
“Anyway, we’re just waiting to hear from the doctors how the bone marrow transplant went, but I feel good about it. And so does my friend. I just got off a phone call with him, and he’s in bright spirits. Crossing all the things, you know?”
“Oh, I’m glad to hear that he’s feeling better. Hopefully everything grafts on and he’s out of the woods soon. You did such an amazing thing, Kingston.”
He immediately shook his head and frowned. I wondered what that was about. “It’s what anyone would have done.”
“We both know that’s not the case.”
“Well, it’s something that I’ve done. And I’d do it again. Although I know this second time isn’t going to be a sure thing, because the first one wasn’t. But I’m still in the registry. If they need me, I’m there.”
I swallowed hard, telling myself I was not supposed to fall for this man again . “You know Phoebe and I added ourselves to the registry. Went through the whole process. I know it’s a very minuscule chance that we’ll ever match with someone, but we’re there.”
“That’s…that’s really cool, Claire.”
I continued on as if I wasn’t rambling in stress and anxiety—my two true best friends. “Before all this happened actually, I was thinking about looking into being a living donor. Or doing something. You know, just because there’s so much pain out there in the world you might be able to fix something. And you know that firsthand. But after the attack when it nicked my spleen, I’m not a good candidate for many things like that anymore.”
His face fell, and I could have kicked myself for even saying anything. “I’m sorry, Claire.”
“There really isn’t anything to be sorry about,” I whispered before clearing my throat. “There’s nothing we can do, but I give blood when I can, and you give bone marrow. It’s what we can do.”
“Yes, so many bodily fluids.” He seemed to realize what he just said, and I burst out laughing, grateful that things sounded normal.
“Okay then. And on that note, I’m going to go get my things out of my car and go see which room is mine.”
“I put sticky notes on the doors at Daisy’s request.” He rolled his eyes as he said it, as he came with me to the back of my car.
“That sounds like something she’d ask you to do. And I can handle it.”
“You can let me lift things.”
“Are you allowed to? You were here first, meaning you brought up most of the food, didn’t you? ”
“Some of it. Everyone else is bringing something.”
“I brought wine.”
“See, Daisy put that on your list.”
We smiled at each other for so long that I realized we were just staring awkwardly. “Okay, you can help me lift things, but not everything.”
“Aren’t you the one who said your scar just hurt?”
“Fine, we’ll go a tiny little poundage at a time. What do you say?”
“I think we can take tiny poundage.” He frowned. “You know, I don’t have anything else to say to that.”
I burst out laughing and pushed at his shoulder, and he just shook his head, as we took everything out of the SUV, and locked the doors behind it just in case a bear somehow got out of hibernation and decided to get inside. They were curious after all.
“Is everyone else on their way up?”
“They should be,” he said as he pulled out his phone.
“Nobody’s texting me, but we’re getting a few weather alerts.”
Alarms spread up my spine. “I’ve been driving and didn’t see anything. What’s going on?”
“Just the snowstorm gaining speed. It was supposed to bypass us completely, but it might have shifted. Once they get up here, we’ll be fine. We’ve got generators and we have enough food even if they don’t bring anything. But I hope they get up the mountain quickly before they close the pass.”
“Oh hell. I didn’t even think about that.”
“It’ll be fine. It’s always going to be an issue when you take trips out here, but we’ve done it before. And the alerts aren’t that bad.”
His phone buzzed again, and I nearly jumped in my skin before his jaw went tense.
“What’s wrong. Did they close the pass?”
“No… I mean maybe. No, it’s just Eddie.”
My heart raced. “Oh. Do you want privacy?”
He shook his head as he answered, putting the phone on speakerphone. I stood there, not knowing what to do with my hands, or anything else. “Hey,” Kingston said, his face full of smiles, brightness, and not a lick of worry.
He was so damn good at that. Hiding his own worry to help others.
He had been like that with me, except once.
When he had looked at me in the mirror, and I had seen worry etched on his face. And that was when I knew I had to let him go. At least the thought of him.
“Hey there. We have good news,” Eddie said, and when Kingston nearly staggered, I put my hand on the small of his back, keeping him steady. I hadn’t meant to, hadn’t even thought about it, but then the heat of him was against my skin, and I couldn’t let go .
“Really?”
“Yeah, things seem to be looking up. You have no idea what you’ve done.”
“It was nothing.”
“It was something. I just, I don’t have words. You keep giving, and I’m so damn grateful for you in my life.”
“I’m so damn grateful too,” Eddie’s wife called from the other side of the phone, and though I couldn’t see them, I saw the way that Kingston’s shoulders relaxed, and his eyes went a bit glassy.
They spoke for a few minutes more, and I could see the adoration in that man’s face.
When they hung up, Kingston just beamed at me. “He’s still in the hospital, but he’s doing better. Fuck, he’s doing better.”
He set the phone down, and before I knew what was happening, he was taking me by the hips, and spinning me around the kitchen. I put my arms on his shoulders, laughing with him, as we danced to music nobody could hear, and he just grinned.
“So. He’s doing great. Everything’s fine. Oh, thank God.”
“I’m so happy for you.”
Kingston hugged me tightly then, resting his chin on top of my head, as he let out a deep, relieved sigh, and I held him close, feeling his heart beat rapidly against my ear.
We stood there for a moment in silence, but awkwardness hadn’t settled in. Instead it felt normal.
What the hell was wrong with me?
When his phone buzzed again, we broke apart quickly, and then my phone buzzed in my back pocket.
I pulled it out and looked at the mess of text messages in the group chat.
“Oh my God,” I muttered.
“Fuck,” Kingston snapped.
Crew:
Well, I’m in a car with Aria and Travis, and we’re stuck at the pass.
Aria:
It looks like we’re going to be turned around soon. Are you guys up there?
Kane:
No we’re still at home, Phoebe’s on a call.
Daisy:
We’re just now heading up the highway, it took a while to get Nora to settle down.
Hugh:
Does that mean we need to turn around?
Crew:
They’re waving us around, so I need to get off the phone.
Aria:
Is anybody up there yet?
I looked at Kingston, an odd sensation settling my stomach, as he sighed and began to type.
Kingston:
Claire and I are up here. We’ve got enough food and alcohol to last the night, hopefully we can head back down in the morning. But it looks like we’re stranded up here.
My phone buzzed, but this time it wasn’t the group chat, and Kingston raised a brow, but instead went back to look at the group chat that was now buzzing along with more messages. People saying they were sorry, and figuring out when they were going to plan something else. Others making sure that we were safe and had enough supplies in case the storm got bad.
But I looked down at the text that was solely for me.
Phoebe:
Are you going to be okay alone with him ?
Had she known? All this time, had my best friend known?
What an idiotic question.
Of course Phoebe knew.
Me:
We’ll be fine. We have provisions. And separate bedrooms.
I tacked that one on, grateful Kingston couldn’t see me typing.
Phoebe:
Well, you know what they say, you may have more than one bed, but you might get cold at night.
Me:
I have blankets. I’ll be warm enough.
Phoebe:
Just be careful. And have fun.
I ignored the extra emojis that I wasn’t even going to name, as I set the phone down.
“Well…this isn’t how we planned this weekend.” I wasn’t sure what else I was supposed to say.
“Pretty much. But we have entertainment, food, lots of wine, and I brought the good bourbon.”
I grinned. “Bourbon? ”
“I’ll make some old fashioneds. After we make sure the house is safe. Looks like it’s going to be a long night.”
And as he moved away to check whatever needed to be checked, I sighed.
Oh, a long night wasn’t even going to be the half of it.