Chapter 29
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
TO FORGIVE, DIVINE
I can hear the two of them talking. Sam has really put his foot into it tonight. I’m tired. Exhausted, really. He kept me up most of last night, and today has been all drama and misunderstandings, tears, and a bit too serial killer-y… and well, it’s been completely draining.
At my car window, I watch him bending down so he’s eye level with me, tapping lightly on the window. I press the window button but the car isn’t on, so I crack open the door, and he stands up. “What?” I ask grumpily.
“I’m sorry. I’m just going to make a blanket apology about everything I said tonight. I’m an asshole, I’m tired, and apparently… well, apparently the gay guy knows more about women than I do. I’m clueless.”
I nod slowly. “You are definitely clueless.”
“Can I please drive you home?”
I step out of Joe’s car and gently shut the door. “Thanks, Joe. Kisses,” I say, blowing him a kiss. I move to grab my clothes, but Sam retrieves the basket and carries it to the car.
After Sam starts the car, he looks over at me. “You should have told me you were coming all the way over here to do laundry. I would have driven you, or even better, taken you to my place.”
I shrugged. “I really like that place and I’ve met a lot of cool people. Joe’s an artist too. We like to talk shop.”
He nods but doesn’t say any more about the laundromat. Instead, he changes the subject. “We got everything installed at your place. When we get there, I’ll show you how everything works.”
“Okay.”
At the apartment, I see Gill’s truck. “Gill’s still here?”
“Yeah, I asked him to wait until I found you.”
“I wasn’t lost.” I glance over at him, chin up, eyes narrowed. Like a badass.
“I know. I was.”
I think he really was; he looked that way at the coffee shop.
I wonder if he’s really as clueless as he seems about what we are doing in this—this relationship.
Relationship? Is that right? I don’t know if it is a relationship, but no other word comes to me at this moment.
I know I don’t have the slightest idea what is going on here—except the sex. The sex part I get. Boy, do I get that.
A light flickers to life as I pass beneath it. Sam explains, “That’s a motion sensor that immediately turns on the exterior lights. If there’s anyone in your yard after dark, the lights will pop on.”
“Okay.” That’s good. I feel safer already. The light is bright to the point of blinding. I hope my neighbor doesn’t mind the light through his windows.
When we step down into my subterranean abode, I see Gill and Lauren sitting together on my small sofa. Their heads turn as we appear. Lauren jumps up and comes to me, giving me a hug.
“Sorry I wasn’t here. Laundry,” I mutter.
“No problem. I made myself useful.” She flashes Gill a bright smile. “I helped install outside motion lights for your protection.” She winks.
Gill is looking at Lauren with soft eyes.
The guy is definitely gorgeous, with long, dark brown hair pulled up into a half-bun/half-ponytail.
His eyes are the same color as his hair.
He could be described as broodingly handsome, except he smiles a lot, which negates the “brooding” part of that description.
When he stands next to Lauren, I see he’s not quite as tall as Sam, but he’s just as built.
From somewhere behind me, Sam appears, slapping Gill on the back, “Thank you for your work today, Gill. I really appreciate it.”
“No problem, boss. MacKenzie. My pleasure.” Gill steps past Lauren, looking back at her. “See you soon?” He nods and smiles wistfully. On his way out, he snags a toolbox and jogs up the stairs and out the door.
“I think I’ll take off, too,” Lauren says, giving me another hug. “You’ve got this, Sam?”
“I’ve got this.”
Ugh, they act like I’m some sort of thing that needs to be watched over.
I should be angry at him, at both of them, but I’m too tired.
Instead, I sigh. Wonderful, just wonderful.
These two are going to annoy the hell out of me with their combined overprotectiveness.
I give Lauren another hug and watch her run up the stairs.
“Let me tell you about the door lock. It’s a little complicated but not too bad.”
Sam leads me to the front door so he can educate me about the proper way to lock my damn door.
I’m trying to pay attention, but I yawn as he mentions something about a smart lock.
I’m just too tired to soak it in; even on a good day, I’m hardly technologically literate.
As tired as I am, I won’t retain 5 percent of it by morning.
I yawn again. “Sam, can we talk about that smart doohickey tomorrow? I’m tired; I won’t remember anything you told me.”
“Of course. We can talk about it in the morning. Let’s go to bed.”
“Oh, you’re staying overnight?”
“Yeah. Is that okay with you?” He looks at me expectantly. Is he actually asking me?
“Sure.” I smile at him. “I’m drained, though, I really need to sleep.”
“Me too,” he says, taking me by the hand. “I flipped your mattress so you wouldn’t have to sleep on the side that was cut.”
I forgot all about that. “Thanks, Sam.” I smile up at him and then go up on my tiptoes and kiss the corner of his mouth.
In my bedroom, I pull out a pair of sleep shorts and a tank from a drawer.
Feeling suddenly self-conscious, I take it into the bathroom to change.
Peering at myself in the mirror, all I see is a tired and somewhat fearful self.
Attempting to break my own tension, I stick my tongue out at myself, a trick Pops taught me.
“It’s all going to be okay. Right, Pops? ”
I reach for my toothbrush and attempt to think happy thoughts, but the first thing in my head is Sam’s words from earlier today.
Telling me I was “eating like a man” and saying he wanted to “get fat together” didn’t do wonders for my self-confidence.
I look down at my pajamas of short shorts and a tank top.
Maybe I should have chosen a sweatshirt and pants?
Scoffing, I realize it’s a little late to be shy now.
The guy has more than seen you naked already.
Besides, I believed him when he said he didn’t mean it the way it sounded.
I’ve no doubt that he’s only dated models and other woman who feel eating is only for the weak-minded.
After I finish brushing my teeth, I step into my bedroom to find Sam lying in bed, covers up to his waist, chest bare. Damn, the man is hot. “Need anything from the kitchen? I’m going to get some water.”
“No, I’m good.”
I’m down to one glass since I broke the other one, and it seems to be dirty.
I fill a mug with water and sip it. I move over to switch off the lamps and look around.
It feels different in here. It feels less secure, less like my well-loved home.
The thief took something even more precious than Pops’s medals; he took my sense of safety and security.
With my cup on the nightstand, I climb into bed.
Immediately, the covers are over me and a large arm is wrapped around me.
Instantly, I feel safe again. I smile at the face that is just inches from mine.
He softly kisses my temple. “Are we okay, MacKenzie? I know I was a complete ass, but I want to make it up to you.” He kisses my cheek.
“I’m afraid that I might screw up again.
I admit I’m really out of my element with you. ”
“Just remember the three rules that Joe told you,” I say, giggling. “Especially number one.”
“You were listening? You little sneak,” he says, tickling me.
I try to avoid the tickling and get away from him, but every move I make seems to bring me closer to him. In seconds, I’m literally on top of him. I look down and see sincerity in his eyes. “Sam, this is all new for me, too. I hope you’ll be patient with me. Can you do that?”
“I will, if you will,” Sam promises.
I lean down and kiss him, then pull back and watch his eyes dilate. I lower my head again for another kiss, opening my mouth until I feel his tongue against mine. “Sam,” I whisper. “I want you.”
Before I can blink, my tank is pulled up over my head and is tossed onto the floor.
Wearing only panties and short shorts, I straddle him, feeling his hardness underneath the quilt.
I fumble for a minute with the quilt, then move off him so I can move the quilt out of the way. I look at him, eyebrows raised.
He shrugs. “I sleep naked. Sue me.”
“Pretty confident you were gonna get lucky, weren’t you, big boy?”
He grins but says nothing. He watches me slide off my bottoms. I slide back on top of him, straddling him. I feel shy for a second, and then confess, “I’ve never been on top before.”
He kisses me softly. “There are a lot of firsts with us—both of us. And I like it.” He grins. “You’re a natural, sweetheart. Just follow your instincts.”
“With you. I’m a natural with you.”
I’m wet already. It doesn’t take much. Heck, I think I get wet the second he walks into the room.
“Thank fuck,” he groans as I slide down onto him. “You’re killing me, honey.”
I roll my hips until I’m completely seated on him. I wiggle a little bit, attempting to get my bearings.
“I am?” I know he means it in a good way. His words giving me confidence.
“Just keep doing whatever feels good. If you feel good, I feel good.”
“You do feel good, Sam.”
“You… you feel amazing, MacKenzie.” He leans up, kissing my lips hard. I lift myself up and then slide down. “Jesus.”
Using his big hands, he helps me move up and down, faster and faster.
My chest is swaying, and for a split second, I panic about all my jiggling body parts.
The memory of today’s comments hits me, but as an orgasm begins to build, I know—at least at that moment, I know—he didn’t mean to hurt my feelings.
Sam moans my name and all of my negative thoughts fly away. I’m too busy chasing my orgasm to care about words that, right now, are irrelevant.
My entire body shakes from my orgasm. As I come down from the pure high of my release, I realize Sam hasn’t stopped thrusting into me. I hear and feel him come, and that pushes me over the edge again. I feel myself squeeze around him.
“Christ, MacKenzie. You feel so damn good,” he says, taking in gulps of air.
I attempt to catch my breath too, smiling and nodding at his comment. Waiting until he calms, I kiss him and curl up next to him on the bed, laying my head in the crook of his arm, I sigh with contentment. I feel the quilt softly fall over me and am asleep in seconds.