Chapter 13
CHAPTER
THIRTEEN
PENELOPE
M y entire body aches. Each step to my bedroom is more cumbersome than the last. I mentally curse my weak muscles that can barely lift my legs. I can’t remember the last time I’ve felt this tired. This is some soul-deep exhaustion.
The delicious scent of cinnamon, nutmeg, apples, and pumpkin spice greets me when I open my bedroom door, lingering from years of burning nothing but autumn-inspired scented candles. I lift a three-wick candle from my nightstand titled Autumn Bliss and take a deep breath.
Now that’s what a room should smell like, not must, cardboard, and… him.
The memory of Gunner's smell floods my olfactory, pushing away my precious pumpkins.
“No,” I protest with a huff of my nose as if the motion is going to push away the scent. Nostrils toward the candle, I inhale deep until I’m back to smelling only perfectly delectable hints of autumn manufactured with chemicals by a scientist in a lab as nature intended it. “That’s better.”
I return the unlit candle to its home on my nightstand and fall face-first onto my bed. The plush duvet cover with its appropriate thread count feels amazing against my skin. Frank and Alice are great people and obviously did us a huge favor, but in retrospect, their motel, even a room that wasn’t a storage closet, would be a two-star on a good day.
Closing my eyes, I all but melt into my pillow-top mattress. My limbs feel boneless, and I’m ready to sleep until tomorrow when I go with the team to Florida for their game against Tampa Bay.
My thoughts go to the past several days and all they entailed. My mind replays everything from the death-defying Uber ride to the stale donuts and hunger pains to my time locked up in that room with the grumpy goalie, and while he was still as moody as ever, I saw a whole different side of his mood—a passionate, sensual, completely gratifying side. My visions, a mere fraction compared to the real thing, cause my skin to pebble and my heart to race.
“No!” I wiggle beneath the covers and pull them up to my chin. Head against my pillow, I clamp my eyes shut and force my traitorous brain to think of something else.
It only makes sense that I would need a minute to decompress. The past several days don’t even feel as if it happened in this world or lifetime. It doesn’t seem real because prior to Vancouver, there would’ve never been a time when I would’ve slept with Gunner, let alone that many times. More alarming yet is the fact that I enjoyed his company for more than the intimate stuff. Vancouver was this inexplicable twilight zone. While it was obviously real and not some dream, it wasn’t me…nor was it him. That’s not us, not who we are or what we do—together. We don’t have toe-curling sex, converse like two people who get along, and we especially don’t make out like teenagers or cuddle.
I just need some time to regulate back into reality, and it will all go back to normal. It’s already starting to. I think back to Gunner on the plane. He wasn’t the same guy I shared a bed with for three nights, but at the same time, he wasn’t his dickish self either. Perhaps we both need time to come out of the snowed-in, lust-filled fog.
My phone chimes at that moment right before sleep pulls me under. I choose to ignore it, and my eyes remain closed. It dings again.
Please stop.
And again.
With a groan, I emerge from my comfy cocoon to silence my phone. Leaving the ringer on was a rookie move, something I never do when I sleep, for good reason. I put the oversight off to utter exhaustion. Despite my better judgment, I check the notification. It’s from Iris, and she’s informing me that she’s here. At my front door.
Open up!
She texts again.
I release a groan. Please go away.
Even as the plea resonates in my mind, I’m throwing the blanket off my body and sitting up because if I know anything about Iris, I know she will not go away. The girl is tenacious, and I suppose one has to be in order to be my friend. I’m not the easiest girl to get close to. A woman with less resolve than Iris would’ve chalked me up to a lost cause by now, but she keeps showing up… and I love her for it.
With a heavy frown, I open my front door to a wide-smiled Iris.
She shakes her head with a tsk. “Did you think I would leave you to your own devices today after you spent three days alone with Gunner? I just saw him at practice with the team, and he’s looking rough.” She shoves a cup of Starbucks coffee into my hand. “That’s the last one, by the way,” she says before stepping inside.
Her words register. “What?” I gasp, looking down at the cup in my hand.
She shrugs. “Yep, that’s the last of her mix until pumpkin spiced lattes come back in August.”
I can’t believe Iris’s coffee shop friend didn’t stash away more PSL mix. What was she thinking? It’s only February, and now I have to wait almost six months. Panic rises, and I recall all the dupe recipes I’ve tried in the past. A few of them were decent, so I suppose they could work, but none of them were the real deal.
Iris steps in front of me, her face an inch from mine. “Earth to Penny. Did you hear me?”
I blink. “Huh?”
She laughs. “I knew it. Something happened. Gunner looks slow out on the ice, and you can’t even answer a simple question. I want to know everything.”
Following her into the living room, I take a sip of my coffee. “What are you talking about? I didn’t hear your question. I’m in shock over the fact that this is my last PSL of the season.”
“You’ll live.” She grins and plops down on my sofa. “Just think, you got over two more months than everyone else. It’s all about perspective, Pen.”
I sit at the other end of the couch and turn to face her. “I still think it’s stupid they don’t offer it year-round.”
She rolls her eyes. “Yes, it’s a tragedy. Now give me details. What happened in Vancouver? I swear I texted you a hundred times, and you didn’t respond. The storm was so horrible we had to leave you there or risk getting stuck ourselves, and then you go radio silent. I didn’t know for a whole day whether you found shelter. I was worried sick.”
Taking another sip of coffee, I will the caffeine to bring me back to life. “Well, there’s not much to tell. The first night was spent trying to find somewhere to stay, and once we found a place, the reception was horrible. Half of my texts and messages didn’t load until we were back in the city at the airport days later. I didn’t mean to worry anyone. I got ahold of the ladies in the office and figured they could relay the message to the team—that we were snowed in and would get back as soon as we could.”
“Well, they did. But that’s like zero real information, Penny. I need to know the juicy details .”
The throw blanket hanging on the back of the sofa catches my eye, and I pull it over my legs before answering Iris. I’m not sure if I’m actually cold or just need an additional barrier between us. Not many people truly know me, but Iris is on the short list of those who know me the most. She’s pretty good at reading people, but as much as I adore her, I can’t tell her about Gunner and me. I’m not telling anyone. It was a one-off experience, a result of nothing more than boredom. It didn’t mean anything and probably should have never happened in the first place. I don’t want her making more out of it.
“I don’t know what more you want to know. As I told you, we called every hotel in the city, and they were all booked. Frank, the bartender, and his wife own a motel outside the city. It was also full, but they had one room they used as storage, and he offered it to us. So we hung out amid boxes of paper goods and mini-shampoo bottles. On the first day, we basically starved, and the second day, Alice, the co-owner of the motel, fed us. It was long and boring, and I was counting down until we got out of there.”
She leans forward, her eyes squinting. “So what was the sleeping situation like? What’d you do all day? What’d you talk about? Did you fight? I mean, you guys hate each other. I just can’t picture it. You and him, stuck together for three days.”
I shrug. “We called a truce and agreed to get along while we were there. We slept in the bed. There wasn’t much talking, just existing, I guess, and waiting out the storm. As I said, it was a boring couple of days.”
“You mean ‘beds,’ right?” She quirks a brow.
Shit.
Schooling my face, I attempt to emit the most unbothered expression I can muster. “There was only one.”
“Penny!” she screams, a laugh erupting as she throws her head back. “You shared a bed with the Beast for three nights, and you’re telling me nothing happened? At the very least, there had to be some spooning or something.”
My features remain stoic. “I don’t know what you want me to say. We slept. That’s all. This wasn’t a chapter from one of those romance novels you love to read. It was real life, and real life is boring. I was stuck in a room with a guy I can’t stand. I got through it, and that’s all there is to it.”
She squints her eyes, puckering her lips, and I swear the woman can see right through me. “You know love and hate are separated by the thinnest of veils. I know how the one-bed thing works. Remember Cade and me in Barbados? That was real life.” She holds up her left hand, flashing her diamond ring. “We all see how that turned out.”
I roll my eyes. “Completely different. You two have loved each other since you were children. There is no love between me and Gunner. We were stuck in a shitty situation—one that he put us in—remember? We called a truce for the sake of our sanity and pretended to tolerate one another for a couple of days, and then we flew home. That’s all there is to it.” I shrug.
“Really?” Her face falls in disappointment. “You have no juicy details for me?”
“None.”
“Why do you both look like death today?” She raises her hands in mock surrender. “No offense.”
The corners of my lips tilt up as I fight a smile. “Because we’ve barely eaten in days and were bored out of our minds stuck in another country, sharing a way-too-small, lumpy bed in a glorified storage closet. It wasn’t fun, Iris.”
She pouts her lips out in a frown. “Bummer. Did you do anything for your birthdays, at least?”
“We ate stale donuts with sprinkles.”
“You really did have a horrible time, didn’t you?”
I nod. “We did.”
She falls back against the back of the sofa. “I guess I was wrong.”
“About?”
“Don’t get mad, but I always thought that you and Gunner hated each other so much because you secretly had feelings for or, at the very least, were attracted to one another. I really thought that being stuck in a hotel room with him for three nights would’ve pulled your feelings out. You know? But it didn’t. So I completely misread the situation. I’m usually better at reading people. Then again, I didn’t see the whole Beckett and Elena thing either. Nor did I realize that Cade had been waiting for me for all those years.” Her face falls, and she sits up. She looks at me, her big blue eyes wide. “I apparently don’t know myself at all.”
I chuckle. “Don’t go having some identity crisis. You are good at reading people. No one saw the situation with your brother and Elena. Who would’ve guessed that he’d secretly get married to the new team doctor in Vegas so that she wouldn’t lose her inheritance only to fall in love with a woman twelve years his senior? Those two are as different as night and day. No one saw that coming.”
“Yeah.” She grins. “But they are so amazing together. Don’t you think? It makes me wonder why I didn’t see it before.”
“They do seem very happy. And the thing with Cade—you can’t count that either. No one can see the full picture when they’re in it.”
“Yeah, I guess. Still, I really thought I saw something between you and Gunner.”
I scoff. “Me and the grumpy goalie? Come on, Iris.”
“I know it seems weird, but I saw something there…or, at least, I thought I did.”
“Sorry to burst your bubble, but it's time to move on to someone else.”
A renewed smile finds her face. “Did you pick up some chemistry between Bash and Ariana at the resort during bye week?”
I laugh. “I didn’t mean right now!”
“You said to move on to someone else, so I’m moving on to someone else,” she quips.
“Okay, but not now. I’m exhausted. Plus, no. I think Elena would kill any player who tried to get with her daughter.”
“Bash is the baby on the team. He’s only a couple of years older than Ariana. I think they’d be cute together.”
Holding out my hands, I shake my head. “Not in the mood.”
“Fine.” She sighs. “Well, I have everything set up for meet and greet after the game tomorrow. And, the linen supplier doesn’t have enough white tablecloths for the charity dinner next week, so I ordered the cream. I figure it will look just as good with the color scheme we have picked out.”
“Iris, you know I love you, but I’m going to have to kill you if you don’t leave.”
“What?” She giggles.
“I’m tired and need to sleep. I have full confidence in you and all your decisions. If you think hot-pink linens will look best, I trust you. I don’t care about who has chemistry with who. And, if I’m being honest, the only reason I’m still sitting here is because I’m enjoying my last few sips of my latte, which I won’t have again until August. So I appreciate you stopping by, but can you please leave now?”
She groans in mock annoyance. “Okay, then.” She hops up from the sofa. “I’ll leave. One of these days, you’ll have to give me something juicy. A friendship requires some tea, Penelope.”
“I’m not the tea-spilling type of girl. You know that about me.”
“I do, and I love you anyway,” she singsongs. “Oh, I’m all caught up at work and literally have nothing to do, so I’m taking the rest of the day off to play with Sandy. Okay, boss?”
Sandy is the golden wiener dog that she got Cade for Christmas, and I don’t blame her. I’d rather hang out with the puppy than most of the people at work, too.
Bringing the cup to my lips, I take a sip and give her a thumbs-up.
“See you tomorrow,” she says before leaving the living room.
The front door closes, and I’m left alone with my coffee and thoughts. I can’t believe she thought there was something between me and Gunner. I’m even more sure of my decision not to say anything about our time together in that hotel room. If she had thought there were some hidden feelings there before, our Vancouver escapades would have given her all the fuel she needed to fan that fire. And there’s no flame. No fire. No feelings.
There’s nothing between me and the grumpy goalie besides a distant memory of an extended one-night stand. Which, if I’m being honest, doesn’t even feel real. It felt like a dream. And like all dreams… they’re soon forgotten.