Chapter 22
CHAPTER
TWENTY-TWO
GUNNER
T his has been the longest practice of my life. It’s monotonous and never-ending. I'd swear it was twice as long as normal if I wasn’t watching the clock tick by on the wall.
Something is seriously wrong with me. I can’t focus or think about anything other than her. Is this what being pussy-whipped feels like? I mean, I’ve teased many a teammate of being just that hundreds of times, but I’ve never experienced it myself. It’s more than sex I want with Penny, though. I want it all. When I’m not with her, I’m thinking about when I will be.
I’m Penny whipped.
It’s equal parts incredible and horrific at the same time. I’ve never seen myself as a relationship kind of guy. Yet when I’m with her, I’m happy. Me…happy. Her presence brings a sense of calm that covers me like a blanket, and that feeling is addicting. Truthfully, it’s terrifying. It’s only been a month since we made things official, and I’m starting to need her. I don’t need anyone. I don’t want to need anyone. Yet… I want her. I’m already in deep. I play it off as if it’s casual, but I can’t hide from myself.
She’s come into the arena a few times this morning to converse with Coach as she is now. Her form-fitting pantsuit is a deep forest green. Her pale complexion and burnt-red hair stand out in that color, making her more stunning than usual. I use all my willpower to focus on the drills at hand, but my eyes dart to where she stands. Her hair is pulled back in a twist, and my fingers tingle with the need to pull that clip off her head and run my fingers through her curly locks.
A puck whizzes by my head, hitting the net behind me.
“Dude, where are you today?” Beckett shakes his head. “You need to get your shit together. Playoffs are coming up, and we’re going all the way this year,” he says before retreating to the other side of the ice.
I can’t even argue with him because he’s right. My head isn’t in this practice. It’s with her, and that’s a problem.
Turning my attention back to the ice where it should be, I ignore her as she retreats from the ice. I don’t watch her perfectly delectable ass as she moves up the steps toward the offices. I don’t imagine what it will be like to grab on to said ass, naked tonight. Not even a little bit.
By some small miracle, the longest practice in history finally ends, and we head to the showers. I take my time, knowing that Penny usually works later. Though I have been on my best behavior since we’ve started dating. The good deeds tour, even with the closet indiscretion, was a PR success, so maybe she won’t work as late as she normally does.
The guys make plans to meet up at the Mongolian Grill tonight for dinner, but I give a couple of grunts as to why I won’t be there, and they don’t press me further.
I’m last to leave the locker room, and a grin surfaces when I find Penny waiting for me in the hall outside the locker room.
She quirks a brow. “And you call me a princess? What were you doing in there for so long?”
I supply a shrug, and we head out of the building together. “I’m surprised you’re done so early.”
“Yeah, it’s nice when things are smooth sailing. Rare but nice.” She nudges my side. My hand itches to grab hers, and while everyone knows we’re dating, we’ve yet to display any PDA at work, per Penny’s wishes. “What do you feel like doing for dinner? Iris says everyone is meeting up. Any interest?”
“Not really.”
“Good. Me either.” There’s an air of relief in her voice. “Order in?”
“Sounds good.”
Without discussion, we get in my car and head to her place. We’ve yet to stay at mine, and save for the handful of times I’ve stopped there to grab clothes, I haven’t been there all month. There’s just something about her condo that I like. It’s comfortable. In comparison, mine feels cold. It’s the kind of place that one who has a rotating string of women stop by for an emotionless quickie would stay, not someone in a relationship. Penny’s place feels like monogamy, and I dig it.
“Do you need to stop by your place?” she asks from the passenger seat.
“Nah, I grabbed enough yesterday.”
She nods. “So how was practice?”
“Very long. How was work?” I turn onto her street.
“Same. Long and uneventful. What should we order in?”
“I don’t know. Whatever you want.”
“We should make something,” she suggests.
“Do you have ingredients?”
“No. We’d have to go to the store.”
I release a sigh and pass her condo, continuing to the grocery store a few blocks past her place. I loathe going out in public. While I don’t think I’m a celebrity by any means, this is Crane territory, and everyone in this area is a fan. I hate the pictures, small talk, and signatures. In my downtime, I don’t want to have to deal with any of that. I just want to veg out. Going out in public makes me feel like I never leave work. I have to smile and be friendly when I don’t feel like doing either. It’s exhausting.
Sensing my hesitation, she says, “It will be quick. In and out. You can even stay in the car if you want.”
“No, I’ll go in with you.”
I park the car, get out, and walk around to Penny’s side. Opening her door, I extend my hand and help her out. It’s an old-school gesture and doesn’t seem like something I would do, but I have to admit, I love it. A few weeks ago, we arrived to work, and Penny was busy on her phone, so I went around to her door and opened it for her. The gesture felt right, and I’ve been doing it ever since. I have this innate desire to take care of her in every way possible.
Penny thanks me and leans her back against the car. She circles her arms around my neck and pulls me against her. Palms splayed against the car, I cage her in. “I missed you today,” she says before leaning up and pressing her lips to mine.
A feral growl sounds from the back of my throat, and I deepen the kiss. I circle one of my arms around her back and pull her against me while my other hand undoes the metal clip in her hair. My fingers thread through her hair, holding her face to mine as my mouth worships hers. My tongue circles hers as our lips fight for more. Kissing Penny is intoxicating, but it’s never enough.
She cups my cheeks with her hands and pulls away panting, a smile crosses her face. “I’m guessing you missed me too?”
“Fuck yeah, I did.” I’m so hard beneath my jeans as I lean into her. I know she feels it.
She scratches her manicured nails lightly against the scruff of my face. “We need to focus. What do you want to make to eat?”
“You know I’ll eat anything.”
“I know, but aren’t you craving anything? Is there something that your mom used to make for you that sounds good?”
She hasn’t brought up my mother since I told her she was dead, and I want to be angry that she is now, but I know that this talking shit is part of being in a relationship. Seeing that I’m currently obsessed with Penny, I have to play the game. Nothing about opening up comes easy, but I want Penny enough to try.
I take a second to consider her question. “Well, she used to make a killer grilled cheese and tomato soup.”
“Grilled cheese and tomato soup? That’s what you’re craving?”
“Yeah.”
“It must be a generation thing. My mom didn’t cook much, but she could make a delicious grilled cheese,” she says.
“Cheap white bread, processed American cheese, and generic condensed tomato soup?”
“Yep!” She grins. “The cheaper the better. Maybe it wasn’t so much a generational thing but a poor thing.”
“Maybe,” I agree. “Regardless, it’s tasty.”
“It is.” She pushes off from the car and threads her fingers through mine as we start for the store entrance. “I haven’t had this meal in years.”
“Me either.”
I’m feeling good as we enter the store. She was able to pull out a piece of my past without making it a painful experience. The more time I spend with her, the more I realize that she may be the one person on this earth for me. I always thought that I was destined to live my life alone, but I’m seeing now that I don’t want that. Penny has been mine for such a small amount of time, yet I can’t imagine it any other way.
“We’ll get in and out. Okay?” She squeezes my hand.
“Yeah.”
It doesn’t take long for someone to notice me, and it’s a douche nonetheless. The guy exudes asshole and corners us in the canned soup aisle. “Gunner Dreven buying some tomato soup.” He eyes the can in my hand. “No shit. What a small world.”
The fact that I live, practice, and play a couple of miles from this store every day of my life doesn’t make it a small world at all. But I don’t bother to correct the guy. “Hey, man.” I give him a nod.
“My girlfriend is a huge fan of yours. She’s going to be so jealous.” He pulls out his phone and initiates some selfies. It’s awfully bold of him not to ask but I smile for his pictures anyway. “So we have to talk about your performance last week. Those last two should’ve been easy saves.”
There’s nothing I love more than listening to some idiot in a grocery store give me playing advice.
No doubt sensing my agitation, Penny steps between me and the guy. “Sorry, we have to go. It was nice meeting you.”
“Bitch, I’m not talking to you, and I’m not done talking to Dreven. Move.” He takes hold of Penny’s upper arm and pushes her to the side. She stumbles off-balance and falls into the cans of soup.
I see fucking red. Before I know it, my fist is hitting the man’s face.
“What the fuck?” he screeches from the ground, holding his nose. Blood drips from his fingers. “You are so done, asshole.”
I squat down and move my face an inch away from his. Through gritted teeth, I seethe, “Come after me, I don’t care. Don’t you ever lay a hand on a woman again. If I so much as hear a whisper from you, I will make sure everyone knows that you pushed my girl.”
“You’re a dick, and you play like shit!” he yells as I turn away from him.
“Are you okay?” I take Penny’s hand in mine, ignoring the insults spewing from the man.
She yanks her hand from mine, her face red and eyes wide. “Let’s go.”
We leave the store empty-handed. Penny doesn’t say a word as I drive the few blocks to her house. I pull into her drive and turn off the car.
She breaks her silence. “I can’t.”
I turn in my seat. “You can’t what?”
Her head moves from side to side. She presses her lips in a tight line. Her eyes fill with unshed tears as she says, “I can’t do this with you.”
“Do what?”
“A relationship, Gunner. It’s over. It was stupid to even try.”
Her words shock me, pulling the air from my lungs. “Wait. You’re ending us? Over that prick?”
She unbuckles her seat belt and wipes the palms of her hands over her pants before turning to face me. “I’m ending us because of you. I can’t be with someone who punches random guys in the soup aisle at a grocery store. That isn’t normal, Gunner! I get the guy was a jerk, but you can’t just punch everyone you don’t like. You have no control over yourself sometimes, and I need to be with someone in control. You’re…” She doesn’t finish that sentence, and I have a feeling I wouldn’t want to know what she was going to say anyway.
“He pushed you!” I roar. “He doesn’t get to put his hands on you!”
“I can take care of myself, Gunner! What I can’t do is deal with your outbursts.”
“You can’t end this.” I shake my head in disbelief.
She takes hold of the door handle and pulls. “I already did.” She steps out of the car. “I’ll bring your stuff to work tomorrow,” she says before slamming the door.
Mouth agape, I watch as she walks away from me and enters her house. I have no words. I’m often a man of few words, but Penny has taken them all.
I’m speechless. What just happened?
My hands ball into fists, and my head falls back against the headrest.
I should leave, pull out of this driveway right now, and depart with the shred of dignity I have left, but I can’t. I’m unable to move or think or do anything but try to wrap my mind around what just happened and what it means for my future.
One without Penny in my life.