Chapter 30
30
AMELIA
A week had passed since I’d returned to the lab.
I’d been doing everything in my power to avoid Jared.
It wasn’t hard—he’d made it clear he wasn’t interested in anything beyond a professional relationship, and I wasn’t about to push it.
But avoiding him didn’t make things easier.
Every time I caught a glimpse of him in the hallway or heard his voice echoing through the lab, my chest tightened, and I felt that familiar ache in my heart.
His icy demeanor made it clear he didn’t want to be anywhere near me.
That was unfortunate.
I understood we weren’t going to have a relationship, but it was making it difficult to focus on work in general.
The universe had a funny sense of humor.
One of my fears about hooking up with Jared was that I would get distracted.
Now, not being with him was having the same effect.
Damned if I don’t, damned if I do.
I escaped into the courtyard, the sun drenching everything in a comfortable warmth.
It felt good to sit out there, away from the clatter of the lab.
I loved that it was still warm and sunny despite heading into fall.
I understood why people flocked to Florida, despite hurricanes, gators, and humidity.
I unwrapped my tuna sandwich, taking a big bite and savoring it like a starving person.
Maybe I was. It had been a while since I’d had an appetite.
“Mind if I join you?”
It was Max, one of the researchers from my team.
He shoved his hands into his pockets, looking awkward but sincere.
I nodded at the empty seat next to me.
“Please.”
He sat, stretching his legs out and squinting against the sunlight.
We munched in silence for a minute before he spoke again.
“It’s been crazy since you’ve been back, right?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I replied. “But good crazy.”
He glanced at me.
“I wanted to say… I’m really sorry about your mom.”
“Thanks,” I said softly, staring down at my sandwich.
“It was rough, but that’s why I’m here. It drives me every day. I’m going to work harder for her.”
“If there’s anything you need—whether it’s work stuff or just someone to vent to—I’m around. I lost my mom when I was little. Brain cancer.”
“I appreciate that,” I said and meant it.
Max was a solid guy, always steady and reliable in the chaos of deadlines and data.
“I guess we all have our reasons for spending countless hours pursuing answers to questions no one has tried to solve.”
I took another bite of my sandwich.
This morning when I made it, tuna sounded really good.
But now, not so much.
It smelled fine, but I wondered if it had turned.
In this heat, it could probably happen fast.
“I’m heading back in,” I said.
“I’ll see you after lunch.”
“Be back at one,” he said.
I quickly walked back inside and headed straight for the restroom.
I wasn’t sure if I was going to be sick or not.
I splashed some cold water on my face and took a few deep breaths.
My stomach had been feeling funky for weeks.
Not really sick but just finicky.
I’d been trying to push through it, telling myself it was just stress or grief or something else I could explain away.
Maybe my stomach was still recovering from the food in London.
The woman on the plane thought I was pregnant.
I had talked myself out of it after a week of not experiencing any morning sickness.
I felt like things had settled and went back to my lab.
I got right to work.
It felt like I was never going to catch up after being away for two months.
A wave of nausea hit me so hard I knew there was no stopping it.
I had to bolt for the bathroom again.
I threw open the door and nearly ran right into Clair.
But I couldn’t stop to apologize.
I raced across the hall to the bathroom.
Clair followed me. “Amelia! Are you okay?”
The little of tuna I had managed to eat came swimming right back up my throat.
With great heaves, my stomach got it all out.
I had a feeling I’d be switching to ham and cheese sandwiches for the foreseeable future.
I finished my surprise purge and stepped out of the stall.
My legs felt like jelly.
Clair was standing by the sinks, looking at me with kind eyes.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
I sank to the floor, my back against the cool tile wall, and pushed my hair out of my face.
“I’m fine,” I said, my voice shaky.
“Better out than in.”
“You look pale. Is it food poisoning or margaritas?”
“I’ve just been feeling sick like this for three weeks now. I don’t know what’s wrong.”
Clair crouched down beside me, her brow furrowed as she studied me.
Like she could look into my eyes and see the cause.
“Three weeks? That’s not normal. Have you seen a doctor?”
I shook my head, my stomach churning once again.
Damn tuna. “No. I thought it would pass. And it did. For a bit. I think it was my lunch. I shouldn’t have eaten the tuna. It sounded good this morning, but now I realize that was a mistake.”
“Amelia, is there any chance you could be pregnant?”
I froze, my heart pounding.
“I don’t think so. I don’t know. I thought that but I just can’t believe that.”
Clair raised an eyebrow.
“When was your last period?”
I hesitated, my mind racing.
“I… I don’t remember. It’s been a while.”
Clair’s eyes widened.
“Amelia, you need to take a pregnancy test.”
I shook my head, panic rising in my chest. “No. No, I can’t be. It’s just stress. Or the tuna. That can probably had a little dolphin mixed in.”
Clair stood up, holding out a hand to help me to my feet.
“Come on. Let’s get you home. No more questionable tuna. If you are pregnant, I don’t think you’re supposed to eat tuna. Too much mercury, I think.”
I nodded.
“No sushi either.” I let her lead me out of the bathroom.
“I can get home on my own. I’ll be fine. It was a moment of weakness.”
“Go home and lie down,” she said.
“I’ll be there shortly.”
She didn’t have to tell me twice.
I went back to my condo and tried to convince myself that Clair was overreacting.
Just like the woman on the plane.
I made myself a cup of tea and grabbed the box of saltines I’d been munching on for the last week.
There was this battle going on in my head.
Logic and disbelief.
As many excuses as I gave myself, there were twice as many reasons to believe otherwise.
Deep down, I knew Clair was right.
The stranger on the plane was right.
That little voice int he back of my head was right.
I’d been doing the math in my head, and the numbers didn’t lie.
When Clair arrived an hour later, she had a bag in her hand.
“I’ve come armed with everything we need to solve this mystery,” she said.
“And I brought you some Sprite. And Gatorade if the Sprite is too bubbly. And ginger ale if the Gatorade is too much. And crackers.”
“You are a good friend.”
She pulled out a few pregnancy tests.
“Pick a test, any test,” she said with a grin.
“Let’s find out for sure.”
I stared at the tests.
“Clair, I… I don’t know if I’m ready for this.”
She gave me a sympathetic smile.
“You don’t have to be ready. But you need to know. Denial isn’t going to make the results any different. You’ll be able to make appropriate decisions once you have answers. We’re doctors. We need data before we can make decisions.”
I stared at the tests Clair had spread across my kitchen counter.
The bright colors and promises of quick results made it all too real.
I reached for the first one.
“All right,” I said, feeling like I was stepping off a cliff.
“Here goes nothing.”
I took the test into the bathroom, closing the door behind me.
I leaned against it for a moment, gathering my courage.
My heart was beating wildly, and not just from nausea this time.
I followed the instructions on the back of the package, my hands shaking so badly that I nearly dropped it in the toilet.
Finally, it was done.
Now came the worst part: waiting.
The longest three minutes of my life ticked by with agonizing slowness.
I sat hunched over on the edge of the bathtub, staring at the test sitting on the sink’s edge as if sheer will could change whatever result might appear.
“Amelia?” Clair’s voice came through the door gently.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m about to find out,” I said, looking at my watch again.
Only thirty seconds had passed since I last checked.
“Do you want me in there with you?”
“I—” Yes?
No? I didn’t even know what I wanted anymore.
“Maybe?”
Clair cracked open the door and peeked in before slipping inside.
She sat next to me on the tub, her presence oddly calming.
Together we watched that small plastic stick like it was going to explode.
“It’s time,” she said softly after what felt like an eternity but was really only three minutes.
“You look,” I said. “I can’t.”
She stood up and looked down at the stick with her eyes widening.
I cringed. I didn’t have to guess what that meant.
“Amelia… it’s positive.”
I was pregnant.
Jared’s baby. The thought sent a jolt through me.
I didn’t know how to feel.
Shock, fear, confusion—it all swirled together, leaving me numb.
Clair sat down beside me.
“How are you feeling?”
I shook my head, my voice barely above a whisper.
“I don’t know. I… I always wanted kids. Someday. But…”
“But Jared doesn’t,” Clair finished for me, her tone understanding.
“Is there any point in me denying he’s the father?” I asked with a sigh.
She laughed. “No, but this will be our secret. It is Jared’s, right? You didn’t have some passionate fling while you were in London?”
“I didn’t.” I smiled.
“Yes, it is Jared’s, but you can’t say anything.”
“I won’t. So, are you and Jared seeing each other?”
“No.”
“And you don’t think he’s going to want this baby,” she said.
“He made it clear he’s not interested in a relationship. And definitely not in being a father.”
“Amelia, you don’t know that. People change. Especially when it comes to something like this. He might not have intended to have children but now that it’s happened, I’m sure he’ll change his mind. And I happen to believe he’s missed you like crazy.”
I shook my head, my eyes filling with tears.
“I saw Gemma in his office the other day. They looked very cozy. I don’t think he missed me that much.”
Clair rolled her eyes.
“Gemma’s been hanging around more, but according to Shawn, Jared’s not interested in whatever she’s trying to mend between them. So that doesn’t mean anything. Gemma is always sniffing around.”
I didn’t know what to do.
I didn’t know how to tell Jared.
Or if I even should.
“You need to go to a clinic. Get tested again. Make sure it’s accurate. And if you’re not ready to tell Jared, we’ll go to a clinic in Key West. Somewhere not associated with the lab. The last thing we need are rumors. This campus is too small to keep secrets.”
“I don’t want to tell him at all. Not yet. Maybe not ever.”
Clair squeezed my hand.
“You don’t have to decide anything right now. Just take it one step at a time.”
I took a deep breath.
“Thank you, Clair. I don’t know what I’d do without you. You are truly my only friend.”
She smiled.
“You’d figure it out. But you don’t have to do it alone. I am very happy to be your friend, but I think you have plenty of other friends. Just not like me. I’m the best one.”
I laughed.
“Yes, you are.”
“Come on, let’s get out of the bathroom. We’ll get you all settled in. You’re taking the rest of the day off. Doctor’s orders.”
She grabbed a blanket off the couch and wrapped it around my shoulders.
“Sit. I’ll get you a plate of crackers.”
She returned with the crackers and a blue Gatorade.
“You don’t have to tell him today,” she said.
“Or even this week. But I think you should eventually.”
“And what if he’s horrified?”
“What if he’s thrilled?”
I shook my head, too afraid to hope she was right.