Chapter 43
43
JARED
S he’d ripped into me earlier, and she’d been right to do it.
I deserved every word.
I’d been so focused on trying to fix things, on trying to prove myself that I’d forgotten the most important part—her.
Amelia didn’t need me to fix anything.
She just needed me to be there.
And I’d failed at that, spectacularly.
Clair was in Amelia’s lab when I arrived.
She had been overseeing Amelia’s research while she was in the hospital.
She looked up when I walked in.
“Jared, you’re back. How’s Amelia?”
“She’s okay,” I said.
“Resting. I think she could use a visit from you, though. If you have time. I need to be here for a couple of hours.”
Clair nodded.
“Of course. I’ll go right over. I was just following up on a couple of things.”
“Thanks,” I said.
“How is she really doing?” Clair asked.
“Physically, fine. Healing. But she is not going to do well on this not doing anything. She keeps asking me to get her laptop. I managed to stall her but I don’t know how much longer I can fend her off.”
“I think it will do her good to keep her mind busy,” Clair said.
“I don’t want her stressing about work and research.”
“I’ll go over right now,” she said.
“We need a little girl time. Give me a couple of hours with her. You’re a lot to handle. You guys have spent the last five days together. Every minute of every day. She needs a break. I’m the perfect solution.”
“I’m not going to be offended by that,” I muttered.
“Good.”
She left the lab, leaving me with Amelia’s assistants all watching me.
I felt like I was a specimen being studied.
“Where’s Amelia’s laptop?” I asked.
One of them pointed toward her office.
“In there. Do you need help with anything else?”
“No,” I said quickly, maybe too quickly.
“I’ve got it.”
I could feel their eyes on me as I walked into Amelia’s office and grabbed her laptop.
Word traveled fast at the lab, and by now, it was probably common knowledge that I was the father of Amelia’s baby.
I didn’t care about the gossip, but I hated the way they looked at me—like I was some kind of ticking time bomb.
As long as they weren’t talking shit about Amelia or suggesting she was some kind of gold digger, I really didn’t care what they thought.
I left the lab, the laptop tucked under my arm.
I went to my office to take care of a few things.
I was taking a huge step back, but I couldn’t just stop everything.
I passed off the cases I could and did some Zoom calls with those that I absolutely needed to see.
Janie waved at me, rushing toward me like I might run away from her.
“Jared, wait up! I need to confirm these consultations for next week. Are you still able to keep them, or should I reschedule?”
I glanced at the dates she’d highlighted.
“No, keep them. I’ll be there.”
She nodded, jotting something down on her tablet.
“Good. Dr. Rosworth said he could cover if needed, but I figured you’d want to handle these yourself.”
“Shawn’s got enough on his plate,” I said.
“I’ll manage. I’ll be on campus for the next several weeks. I won’t be going anywhere.”
“What about surgeries?” she asked.
“Should I let Miami know you’re on… sabbatical?”
“If it’s life or death, I can make the trip,” I said.
“But nothing else. I need to be here. On site.”
“I understand. I have you set up for a call tomorrow. Is that still going to work?”
“Yep. I might do it from my house.”
“And how’s Amelia? Everyone’s been asking. Well, not everyone, but you know how it is around here.”
I clenched my jaw, then forced myself to relax.
Janie had been with me long enough to know when to push and when to back off.
She’s also discreet.
“She’s fine. Healing. Just needs rest.”
“That’s good to hear,” Janie said, her smile genuine now.
“She’s tough. And… well, it’s nice to see you like this.”
“Like what?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
She laughed lightly, shrugging.
“Human, for once. It’s a good look on you.”
I didn’t respond to that—couldn’t—but I gave her a small nod before turning back toward my office.
Amelia was on my mind the entire time I worked.
I was giving her and Clair plenty of “girl time” hoping it would improve Amelia’s mood.
And because I knew she needed a break from me.
Of course, I was also hoping he would forget about that conversation we almost had as well.
I packed up my things and made sure to put Amelia’s laptop in my bag.
I just hoped whatever it was she was so desperate to review wasn’t going to stress her out.
If she was anything like me, the research would help her relax.
That was the only reason I was taking it to her.
I walked outside and was about to go to my car when I saw Michael.
He looked as out of place as I felt.
It had been over a year since I’d seen him—maybe two, now that I thought about it.
Video chats didn’t really count.
He looked the same, though maybe a little more tired, a little more worn.
“Jared,” he said, striding toward me.
“Michael. What are you doing here? Are the girls okay?”
“The girls are fine. Your voicemail made it sound like you were dying or something. What’s going on?”
I hesitated.
I couldn’t invite him back to the house.
“Let’s talk in my office.”
Michael followed me without question.
When we got to my office, I closed the door behind us and turned to face him.
“It’s been a while,” I said, my voice stiff.
“Yeah,” Michael said.
“You’ve been busy. Too busy to call, apparently. Or show up.”
I winced, knowing I deserved that.
“I know. I’m sorry.”
Michael sighed.
“Look, I’m not here to rehash old arguments. You said you needed help. So, what’s going on?”
I gestured for him to take a seat.
We both sat down, sitting across from each other.
I took a deep breath and figured the best way to say it was to just say it.
“I’m going to be a father.”
Michael’s eyes widened, and for a moment, he just stared at me.
Then he let out a low whistle.
“Wow. Okay. That’s a lot.”
“Yeah, it is. It’s been wild.”
“When?”
“She’s seventeen weeks,” I said.
“She just got out of the hospital. There were some complications with the pregnancy. She’s on bed rest for at least a month.”
He nodded.
“Are you planning on being involved? Or are you going to push her to the side like you’ve done with everyone else?”
I flinched, his words hitting too close to home.
He was not pulling any punches.
“I’m trying to be there for her,” I said.
“But it’s complicated.”
“Complicated how?” Michael asked, raising an eyebrow.
I hesitated, then said the words I’d been too afraid to say out loud until now.
“Because I love her.”
The moment the words left my mouth, I felt a weight lift off my chest. It was the first time I’d ever admitted it, even to myself, and it felt…
good. Really good. Like I’d been living in a haze of distrust and fear since Gemma cheated on me.
Now, finally, I could see clearly.
Michael studied me for a moment, then nodded.
“Okay. So, what’s the problem?”
“The problem is that I don’t know how to show her,” I said, my voice breaking.
“I’ve spent my entire life pushing people away, focusing on my career, trying to be the best. And now, when it matters most, I don’t know how to be what she needs. Things have not been smooth between us. I didn’t even know she was pregnant until she was three months along. We weren’t talking.”
Michael sighed.
“Jared, you’ve always been so focused on proving yourself to everyone—your mentors, your teachers, even Mom and Dad. But the truth is, they would have loved you regardless of whether you were a genius or not. You’re missing out on life because you’re so hyper-focused on being the best. You’re so afraid to let people know you and love you for the man you are. You want people to admire you for your accomplishments.”
He was right.
I’d spent my entire life trying to impress everyone, trying to prove that I was worthy of love and respect.
But in doing so, I’d pushed away the people who mattered most.
“I don’t want to lose her,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
“But I don’t know how to fix this.”
Michael leaned forward, his expression serious.
“You can’t mess this up, Jared. If you love her, you have to make it right. And you have to do it now, before it’s too late. She deserves to know how you feel. What are you going to do when the baby is here? Kids deserve and need unconditional love. You can’t withhold it or only offer praise for when the kid does something good.”
“I know. I just... I don’t know where to start. Every time I try to talk to her, it feels like I say the wrong thing. I’m not used to this, Michael. I’m not good at it.”
“You’re overthinking it, Jared. You don’t have to be perfect. Just be honest. Tell her how you feel. Show up for her—not just when it’s convenient, but when it’s hard. That’s what matters. You don’t have to be perfect. That’s always been your issue. Just be messy. Be real. It’s intimidating to be around someone that always thinks they have to be the best.”
“What if it’s too late? What if I’ve already screwed this up beyond repair?”
“It’s never too late,” Michael said.
“Not if you’re willing to put in the work. Start small. Bring her something she likes, ask her how she’s feeling—really feeling—and just listen. Don’t try to fix everything right away. Just be there. And tell her how you’re feeling. If you love her, tell her.”
I had to show Amelia how much she meant to me, even if it meant being vulnerable in a way I never had before.
She could destroy me.
What Gemma did to me would pale in comparison to what Amelia could do.
She had far more power.
“I’m staying with my wife and kids on the other side of Key West,” Michael said, standing up.
“I’ll be here for a week. If you need anything, let me know. And maybe I’ll be able to meet her.”
“Thanks,” I said, my voice rough.
“I’ll let you know. I don’t if she’ll be up to meet anyone. I don’t want her stressed out.”
“I get it. Let me know. The girls are loving the beach. I hope we can at least make time for you to see them.”
After Michael left, I sat in my office for a long time, staring at the wall and trying to figure out what to do next.
How could I prove to Amelia that I wanted this—that I wanted her—when I had such a hard time showing my true emotions?
And then it hit me. An idea.
It was risky, and it would require me to be more vulnerable than I’d ever been before.
But if it worked, it might just be enough to show Amelia how much she meant to me.