Chapter 7 #2
Movement caught Tilly’s eye. She gripped the five-barred gate and her heart stalled at the sight of him striding along the edge of the field, and it wasn’t because she had any romantic tendencies, but because she was scared shitless.
He’d have every right to shout at her – perhaps that was his reason for agreeing to meet.
His gait was familiar, assured and purposeful.
He slowed a touch when he was close enough to recognise her.
She half expected him to turn and pace back down the field.
She wouldn’t blame him. But despite faltering, he continued towards her.
As he got closer, she noticed he’d filled out more, and a seriousness had overtaken the youthful cheekiness she remembered.
The lines around his eyes were pronounced, his hair was thinning and he’d grown a beard.
His cheeks were ruddy and his lips tight, yet Tilly’s heart fluttered at the good memories wrapped up in him.
Cal stopped a few paces away and folded his arms. ‘I was told an old friend was here, but Isla was obviously mistaken.’ His Scottish accent didn’t soften the animosity of his words one bit.
‘I deserve that,’ Tilly said. She wished she’d worn something different.
She spent most of her days in paint-splattered dungarees with her hair in a messy bun, and yet she’d come to see Cal in smart black jeans, a bright red coat and boots that were far too clean.
She was out of place, while Cal was a part of the landscape in his wellies and muted colours.
‘You thought you could come back and say hello like nothing happened?’ He remained on the other side of the gate, keeping a solid barrier between them.
‘I, er…’ Tilly trailed off, her heart thumping at the way his sharp words cut across the peace of his family’s farm.
The only other sounds were the cows and the distant rumble of voices and clatter of cutlery in the café.
They’d climbed over this gate together and had walked hand in hand down the field to the farmhouse.
They’d had sex in the hay store, for goodness’ sake.
She owed him an apology and however hard this was, she hadn’t wanted the first time they saw each other again to be at the celebration of Joy’s life.
She made herself meet his cool gaze. ‘No, I didn’t think that at all.
I’m back on the island helping Logan, and I wanted to say sorry, to make amends.
I hoped we could talk and maybe, I don’t know, have a drink and put the—’
‘You mean to pick up where you finished things when you left without saying a word?’
The flare of white-hot anger in his eyes took Tilly by surprise and made her reconsider what she was about to say. She’d had heaps of fun with Cal that summer and had been too young and selfish to have even considered that her actions had left him broken-hearted.
‘No, honestly, that isn’t my intention at all.
Leaving without saying anything to you was wrong.
That’s what I’m sorry for; I just wanted to tell you that.
’ Beads of sweat were forming on her top lip at his dagger-like gaze.
The sun streaming down was surprisingly strong.
She shaded her eyes with her hand and that was when she noticed him twist the plain gold band on his finger.
Realisation slammed into Tilly. Her heart sank and her cheeks heated.
Not only was he angry at the way she’d abruptly ended things, but he was married too.
It was painfully obvious how much disdain he had for her turning up unexpectedly – too little too late.
She’d been so intent on saying sorry to make herself feel better that she hadn’t thought it through.
The last time they’d seen each other was when she’d snuck out of his bed in the early hours of the morning after a seriously passionate night.
Now he was married and this was inappropriate.
‘I really am sorry,’ she repeated, wishing she hadn’t hijacked him at work.
Actually, she wished she’d left the past well alone.
Cal was a good memory and that was where he should have remained.
She’d stirred up a hornet’s nest. Why would he give her a second of his time even if he had been single, let alone married?
Perhaps she’d matured less than she’d thought and was still doing first, thinking second. ‘I shouldn’t have come.’
‘No, you shouldn’t have.’ Cal stepped back, his fists clenched, his mouth set in a stony line. ‘I’ve work to do.’
He strode away without a backward glance. Tilly cursed loudly, sending a chaffinch flying into the air from the hedge.
* * *
After getting the shopping in Tobermory, even the drive along the coastal road with its view across the Sound of Mull to the mainland did nothing to appease her spiralling thoughts.
All she’d managed to do was create another layer of regret.
Even if seeing Cal at the celebration for Joy was inevitable, she was a fool to have sought him out on his home turf.
It was even more foolish to have believed that saying sorry would have erased her past mistake. Life was rarely that straightforward.