Liam
The argument with Sunny had been intentional — a calculated move on his part to create a rift and drive her away before this thing between them went any further.
But seeing the utter devastation on Maddie and Hailey’s faces when they thought their nanny was leaving had ripped his heart out. The way they had instantly come to Sunny’s defense, pleading with her to stay, made him feel like a complete and utter scumbag.
Accusing Sunny of being under-qualified and questioning her credentials had been a low blow. The lowest of the low, in fact. She had been nothing but patient, nurturing, and professional with the girls since arriving.
Just a year ago, he had been a completely devoted husband to his beautiful wife. She had been the sun that bathed their world in warmth and light. But that warmth had been brutally extinguished, leaving him adrift in a frozen wilderness, struggling to be the father his girls deserved.
Sunny’s radiant smiles and infectious laughter made him feel a spark of life again. Her tender touch as she nursed his injury after the brawl at the rink made his pulse race. It soothed his soul.
As much as he was terrified to admit it, Sunny was reigniting emotions in him that he thought had died along with Kate.
He was slowly but surely developing feelings for the younger, vibrant nanny.
And that felt like a sickening betrayal of the wife he had loved with every fiber of his being. An insult to Kate’s cherished memory.
Worse, he was painfully aware that Sunny felt the spark between them too, no matter how hard she tried to remain professional.
He saw it in the flushed rosy hue of her cheeks whenever they accidentally brushed against each other in the hallway.
He saw it in the way her breath hitched and her pupils dilated when he would let his gaze linger too long on her full lips or tantalizing curves.
Liam Anderson was a stupid oaf, but not that stupid.
Especially when he shared a home with the person in question.
They were both trying to suppress the growing tension, the magnetic pull drawing them closer with each passing day.
Liam tried convincing himself it was just pent-up male lust after going so long without female companionship.
Sunny was a beautiful woman, after all. It was only natural his body would respond accordingly, even if his heart was still in mourning.
It was an automatic, primal response, far removed from any notions of tenderness or love.
At least, that’s what he desperately wanted to believe.
This dangerous state of affairs had gone on far too long already.
That’s why he had to drive Sunny out with today’s confrontation.
She couldn’t stay in this house, sharing the same roof as him, with their chemistry becoming more charged by the day.
It was a ticking time bomb that would only end in devastation…
or worse, open up a realm of possibility that he didn’t dare allow himself to contemplate.
Liam felt like such a coward for not being honest with Sunny about his inner turmoil. But how could he put that on her? She had been nothing but professional and affable, despite his surliness. What right did he have to burden this young, effervescent woman with his demons and scars?
So instead, he lashed out, pushing her away with cruel words and false accusations.
It was a despicable thing to do, especially after seeing her fight so fiercely for his daughters, not wanting to abandon them.
In that moment, he realized just how deeply she had already woven herself into the fabric of their broken family.
The girls adored her, plain and simple. And, if Liam was being truly honest with himself, so did he, on a level that shook him to his core.
These growing feelings for Sunny terrified him.
They filled him with a paralyzing fear that he would inevitably fail her just as he had failed Kate.
That he was simply too damaged, too closed off, too haunted by past traumas to ever let someone like Sunny fully into his life.
If he then lost her, like he lost Kate, the pain would be too much to bear.
He never wanted to travel down that road again. Better to be alone.
As tears started to streak down his cheeks, Liam’s heart twisted painfully.
He knew deep down that keeping Sunny at arm’s length was a form of self-sabotage.
She was the first person in a long time to make him feel a spark of joy.
But he couldn’t shake the deep-seated belief that he didn’t deserve that kind of joy and love after what had happened to Kate.
That he was unworthy and would only end up hurting Sunny, and something tragic would befall her.
Curling up on his bed, Liam broke down into heaving sobs, finally allowing himself to process the maelstrom of emotions he had bottled up for so long.
He cried for his beloved Kate and the beautiful life they had lost. He cried for his little girls who had suffered so much tragedy in their young lives.
He cried until he had no more tears left in him to cry.