Chapter Thirty-Six
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Summer Solstice marked the longest day of the season; there was something ominous about that. Quinn wondered why she hadn’t picked up on this, as intuitive as she was. This long day, predicted to be the warmest on record, would either make or break her, physically and emotionally. She was going to play at the biggest venue of her life. According to the trolls, one in particular, whom she would not name, she wasn’t up for the task. Quinn had caught the viral Reddit post, all on her own, like a grown-up. Ivy hadn’t sent it her way. Amanda hadn’t mentioned it. Kya hadn’t brought it up. She suspected all three were hiding it from her. They wouldn’t want anything to mess with her head this close to the main event. Unfortunately, a bunch of losers had found it necessary to share the post on multiple sites and tag her over and over again. Her phone had lit up with notifications. Quinn had read the words and let them wash over her. She figured it was best to get it out of the way, learn in advance what the haters were thinking, and let that knowledge fuel her determination and drive. She was not going to let anyone get into her head again. That was done. She’d cured that vulnerability, and she was ready to push forward.
Those thoughts floated to the surface even before Quinn had opened her eyes. Trapped in her thoughts, thinking, overthinking, this was not how she wanted to start the longest day of her short life. She wanted to feel something. Then she remembered that she wasn’t alone, and didn’t have to go through any of this by herself.
Quinn opened her eyes and there was Kya. Tucked away at the far side of the bed, eyes glued to her phone, and a crease between her shapely brows. ‘You and that phone,’ she murmured. ‘Put it down! Come snuggle with me.’
She smiled without looking up. ‘I’ve been awake and waiting for a while now, Queen Quinn.’
‘The wait is over. Come.’
Kya set the phone on the bedside table and sank deeper under the blanket. Quinn shared her pillow and they lay facing each other, noses touching. She reached up and smoothed the crease that was still there, stitching her brows together. ‘What’s the matter, babe?’
‘Nothing.’
‘That’s not true. It’s so early, and something is troubling you. What is it?’
‘Today is the day,’ Kya replied. ‘Maybe I’m nervous for you. Is that allowed?’
‘Anything is allowed except for these worry lines. It’s not that serious.’
‘We both know it is,’ she whispered.
‘I think we need some stress relief. What do you say?’
She kissed the tip of Quinn’s nose. ‘What do you have in mind?’
Quinn offered some suggestions. ‘A quick trip to the gym? A run around the block? A swim?’
Kya slid a hand down Quinn’s thigh. ‘No, babe. Any other ideas?’
‘Kiss me. We’ll figure it out.’
‘Kiss you where?’ she asked.
‘Lady’s choice.’
Kya sank deeper beneath the sheets. Quinn offered herself up, dissolving like sugar at her touch. Kya knew her body well enough, and should not have been surprised when, reaching between her legs, she found her hot and wet. Her breath grew sharp. Quinn tightened around her fingers. Stars burst behind Quinn’s shut eyelids and just when it was getting good, the bloody phone rang, shrill, imperious, tearing into the sultry silence of her bedroom. Only it was Quinn’s phone, not Kya’s.
‘Ignore it,’ Kya said, speaking into the tender skin of her neck.
‘I can’t, not today …’
With a sigh, she withdrew and fell onto her back, leaving a void so deep Quinn could cry.
‘Answer it,’ she said, encouragingly. ‘It might be important.’
‘Hold on. Let’s see who it is. For all we know it’s a cold call from a used car salesman.’
It wasn’t a car salesman. It was Frankie, the publicist who’d coordinated that insufferable photoshoot, no doubt calling with another stunt for her to participate in. Unfortunately, she was contractually obligated to take the call.
Grabbing her phone, Kya slipped out of bed before Quinn could catch her. She mouthed the word ‘coffee’ before leaving the room.
Quinn cried, ‘Tea!’ and answered the call.
Frankie extended an invitation to a concert pre-party hosted by a record label executive at his penthouse overlooking the concert site. ‘You won’t want to miss it,’ he said. ‘Everybody will be there.’
‘All right. I’ll be there, too.’
‘Great. I’ll text you the address.’
Quinn pulled on a pair of boxer shorts and joined Kya in the kitchen. This was likely the last few hours they would have to themselves. She’d booked hair and make-up at noon. Then it would be off to the penthouse party. From there, they’d head straight to the festival grounds. She laid all this out to Kya.
‘That’s a lot,’ she said.
‘None of this spells fun for you, I suppose,’ Quinn mused.
‘Don’t worry about me. I’ll have fun with Ivy and Amanda. Scrambled eggs?’
‘Okay,’ Quinn said, watching her closely. A moment ago, she’d caught Kya frowning at her phone again while she filled the kettle. Something was on her mind and she was keeping it from her. If it wasn’t the Reddit post, maybe it was some development on her own blog? Either way, Quinn decided to clear the air.
‘I saw it,’ she said.
‘Saw what?’ Kya asked, her head in the fridge, rummaging for eggs, butter, and bread. Truthfully, Quinn wasn’t sure she had any of those items in stock.
‘The Reddit post,’ she replied. ‘I was tagged, like, a million times.’
Kya shut the fridge and faced her. ‘Oh, babe. I’m sorry.’
Quinn went to her. ‘Don’t be sorry! Nothing is going to ruin this day for me. I’ve worked hard to get here. The boys are in their feelings, but I can’t help that. You’d think I stole their spot in the sun or something. They’re going to write their hot takes and try to strip me of my confidence. It’s not going to work. I won’t let anyone rattle me. If tonight doesn’t go well then at least I’ll learn something. Maybe I’m not a big venue performer. Happy hours and pool parties may be where it’s at for me. Maybe that’s my niche, who knows? I don’t have to slay every venue and my career doesn’t have to look like all these other guys’ careers. I can take it in another direction.’
Kya was nodding, taking all this in, but she still looked as if she were keeping a secret.
‘Are you going to tell me what’s wrong, finally?’ Quinn asked.
‘No,’ she said, firmly.
‘Why?’
‘We’ll talk tonight, after the concert, or tomorrow,’ she said. ‘I promise it’s no big deal.’
‘If it’s no big deal, why do you look like that?’
She laughed off the question. ‘Like what?’
‘Stressed out!’
‘I’m fine,’ she said. ‘I need coffee, and we’re out of eggs.’
‘I thought so.’
Later, they took their cups out to the balcony. Standing side by side, they breathed in the fresh air and took in the view. The bay was a clear green in the morning light.
‘The week went by so fast,’ Quinn said.
Kya kept quiet. She sipped her coffee, her eyes on the distant horizon.
‘When do you think you’ll be heading back?’
‘To California?’ she asked.
Quinn nodded, afraid to speak. This question had been low-key haunting her all week.
‘I haven’t had a chance to book a flight,’ she said. ‘With so much going on.’
‘I get it,’ Quinn said quickly. ‘There’s no rush, right?’
Kya answered with a tilt of the head, a gesture that could mean anything. Quinn felt as though she was drowning in the ambiguity of it all. She wanted to tell Kya how much she cared, how much she cherished every last minute they had left together. She wanted Kya to feel all the things she’d felt these past weeks: desired, cherished, supported, protected, pampered, spoiled … She could go on forever. What if the experience had been wholly one-sided? What had Kya gained from following her around? If she was keen on returning home, to her own life and busy schedules, Quinn would not blame her.
‘I forgot to tell you. Adrian and Hugo know about us.’
‘You told them?’
‘No, Hugo’s best friend clued him in. She follows us on social and … apparently people love us online.’
‘Oh, I know,’ Quinn said. It was #K&Q all over the place. ‘I love us, too.’
‘Me, too.’
‘Really? You don’t mind?’
‘Why would I mind?’
She sounded offended, but Quinn could think of ten reasons straight off the top of her head. ‘For all the unwanted attention, for one thing.’
‘I think we’re past that.’
‘Are we?’ Quinn asked. ‘Where are we at, exactly?’
She turned to face Quinn. ‘Do you really want to have this conversation now?’
‘When should we have it?’ Quinn replied. ‘When you’re boarding the plane back to LA?’
‘San Jose.’
‘Same difference.’
Kya cradled the coffee mug to her chest, as if drawing courage from its warmth. ‘I don’t have the logistics sorted out. All I know is how I feel. This is nice, and I don’t want to lose it. At the same time, I know how complicated it will be. Do you understand?’
‘I do,’ Quinn replied, warmth spreading throughout her chest.
‘Babe, can’t we talk about all this tomorrow? You shouldn’t get worked up today.’
Unfortunately, Quinn wasn’t the type to let things fester. If something was eating at her, she would confront it in real time. ‘I’m not worked up,’ she said. ‘I’m actually really happy.’
‘So am I,’ Kya said.
‘The lads are going to tease me to death when I get back to the fitness club. I’m surprised they hadn’t figured it out already. Hugo seems to know everything.’
‘Now that they know, they’re likely planning our wedding,’ Kya said.
Marriage … She and Kya hadn’t talked about it. Not surprising, it was far too early for that conversation. However, Quinn generally liked to warn potential partners on her position on the institution as a whole.
‘I’m not into it,’ she said.
‘Into what?’ Kya asked.
She was confused and rightly so. Quinn was having trouble putting her feelings into words this morning. She tried again, using a familiar formula.
‘I’m not interested in marriage.’
This was what she said to anyone she was involved with. It was only right for them to have this information up front in order to proceed accordingly. She sipped her tea, too cool for her taste now, anxiously waiting for Kya to respond.
‘I don’t see what people get out of it,’ Kya said, finally.
‘Me too!’
‘Hugo and Adrian are happily married, but they would have been happy regardless, I think.’
‘I just don’t understand the concept of being legally bound to love, honour, and cherish someone until death. If you love someone, you should want to do it anyway.’
‘There are legal benefits,’ Kya said. ‘I get it, but there are ways around it.’
‘Maybe I’ll change my mind down the road. For now, though, I don’t see it.’
‘Me, neither,’ Kya said.
‘You just don’t want a conventional title, wife or wifey,’ Quinn teased. ‘It would drive you mad.’
Kya laughed, knowingly. ‘It would drive me insane.’
Every time Quinn had initiated this conversation before, it had never gone so well. Somehow, it always resulted in conflict, and the tension lasted for days. Even the guys who hadn’t wanted to commit to a relationship had bristled at the idea of her not wanting to jump through hoops to win their ring. As if a ring were the ultimate prize. Last she checked, she wasn’t in the NFL or NBA.
‘Everything is so easy with you,’ Quinn said.
Kya shook her head. ‘Have you forgotten about the time I snuck out of here while you were sleeping?’
Quinn balked. ‘Water under the bridge, babe.’
‘London Bridge or the Golden Gate?’
Quinn lit up. ‘We should go to London!’
‘Now?’
‘Not now, but someday!’ she said. ‘I’d love to show you my London, my favourite pubs and all my old haunts.’
‘I’d love that,’ Kya said, quietly.
‘Good. We’ll do it.’
Quinn looked straight ahead. The sun had risen higher, and the bay glistened. She was glistening, too, on the inside. As much as possible, they had cleared the air. Plus, they had a plan, something to look forward to. She could hold onto that.