Chapter 17
17
C ally certainly didn’t have a spring in her step the next day. The night before, she’d made an excuse not to go back to the manor with Logan because he’d had to get up early for the horses and so she’d gone back to the flat without him. It had more than suited her. She hadn't wanted to look at him for a moment longer. She’d been quiet with the certificate going around and around her head in a horrible fat loop of distress.
Getting on the riverboat, she smiled at Colin as she stepped on, tried to avoid making conversation with him and went and sat up the top. She watched the river path on the other side of the water when the boat pulled away from the jetty and puttered along. As the boat meandered down the calm waters of the River Lovely, Cally did not feel calm at all. Sitting on the upper deck, her eyes fixed on the passing scenery without really seeing it she sighed. The breeze fluffed her hair and warm sun hit her skin, but she barely registered the sensations, too lost in her thoughts and emotions. She felt numb as if her entire being had been hollowed out and replaced with a dense, leaden weight. Absolutely, grimly, awful. The shock of discovering Logan's secret had made her sick to the bone.
Colin came up from below, raised his eyebrows and smiled. ‘Hey, our Cally. How are you?’
‘Great, thanks, really good.’ Cally was definitely quite the little pro at lying. She was far from good. She couldn’t be bothered to converse with Colin but attempted to look interested.
‘How was last night?’
Awful. Dreadful. ‘Yeah, fabulous. Did you enjoy it?’
‘Oh, yes. How could one not?’ Colin leaned against the railing. His face creased into a smile. 'That chowder was something else, wasn't it? Don’t tell Birdie I said that, though. They use a special blend of spices in the pub, secret family recipe and all that. They all say that, though, don’t they?’ Colin chuckled. ‘We’ll hear it time and again by the time it gets to the Chowder Festival. Family recipes will be coming out of the woodwork left, right and centre.’
Cally nodded and forced a smile. She really couldn’t be faffed with small talk. She just wanted to retreat in her own head. Colin jarred at her already-irritated edges. 'Yeah, it was delicious. Really tasty and comforting.' She gave him the get-lost vibes. He didn’t take the hint.
'And the music, too. Those guitarist guys really knew how to set the mood, didn't they? Had the whole place swinging and swaying at one point. Nice to be part of it.’
Cally made a noncommittal noise. ‘Yeah.’
Colin cocked his head, a flicker of concern in his eyes. 'You alright there? You seem a bit distracted.'
Cally blinked. That was putting it mildly. She felt as if someone had pushed her out of a plane without a parachute and she was free falling down to a very hard ground. 'Oh, sorry. Just a bit lost in thought, I suppose.'
Lost in a maze of betrayal more like. Taken in by the posh boy.
Colin nodded. 'I know that feeling. Sometimes, the mind just wants to wander, to drift off into its own little world. It’s one of the reasons I like working on the river because it makes it easy to do that.'
Cally tutted inside and wished Colin would bog off. He simply wasn’t getting the memo. Any other time, she loved it when he chatted away with her and made her feel as if she was part of the woodwork. Now, she wanted to be left alone. ‘It does.’
Colin still didn’t seem to have read the room. ‘Such a good speakeasy in that location. One of my favourites. Can't ask for much more than that, can you?'
Cally felt her nostrils flare. 'You're right, Colin. It was a lovely evening, all in all.'
A lovely evening built on the foundation of a big fat lie.
Colin grinned. ‘We've got to take the good moments where we can find them, eh?’
‘Oh yes.’
‘Life's too short to dwell on the bad stuff.'
Cally swallowed. She was doing more than dwelling on the bad stuff. She was living it. She always had done, and it felt very unfair. Her life hadn’t been full of Lovely days. It had been hard, messy, complicated, full of twists and turns and unexpected things as she’d struggled to hold up the sky. She pretended to agree with a false chuckle. ‘It is indeed.’
‘Right, you are. Well, nice to see you.’
‘Yep, you too.’
Cally retreated into herself, her mind spinning. She closed her eyes and tried to shut out the world as her brain continued to swirl and churn. Things were not good.
C ally walked up the path to Eloise’s house and let herself in. She called out and found Eloise in the kitchen with a bottle of wine on the table and a glass in her hand.
‘Hiya.’ Eloise smiled.
‘Hey. How are you?’
Cally hugged Eloise just a little bit too hard. Right away, Eloise frowned and squinted.
‘What’s wrong? You okay?’
‘Yep, I’m fine.’
‘Worried about the races?’
Cally rolled her eyes. The races were the last of her worries. It was what was going to happen after the races that was bothering her. ‘No, not at all.’
She leaned against the kitchen worktop as she tried to gather her thoughts, and Eloise chatted about her outfit for the races. A warm, cosy scent of garlic and herbs filled the air as Eloise poured her a glass of wine.
Eloise frowned. ‘What’s wrong? You’re doing the voice thing.’
‘Am I?’
‘You are.’
‘Nothing’s wrong.’
‘I’m fine.’
‘Just tell me.’
Cally considered whether or not to tell Eloise about the secret marriage certificate. She felt stupid and embarrassed. She sighed. ‘I don’t even know where to start.’
‘Try me.’
Cally took a deep, shuddering breath and let the words come pouring out in a rush. 'I found something that changes everything. I can’t believe it.'
‘What? You found something? Like what? What do you mean? What did you find?'
Cally swallowed. 'I found a wedding certificate.’
Eloise wrinkled her nose. ‘What of your grandma’s? I thought you got rid of most of that stuff.’
‘Not my grandma! Logan's wedding certificate. From a previous marriage that he never told me about!'
Eloise's eyes widened, her hand stilled mid-stir over the pot on the hob. 'Sorry? What? Are you serious? What the heck? Are you kidding me?’
‘Oh, how I wish I were.’
‘Sorry, wait, how did you find it?'
Cally let out a bitter, humourless laugh. 'The decluttering job.’
‘Oh.’
‘I was in one of the wings. It was in a folio that fell on the floor. It was tucked away like some dirty little secret.’ Cally felt tears prick at the corners of her eyes, hot and stinging.
‘Are you sure?’
‘Yep.’
‘You’re definitely sure?’
‘Yes!’ Cally fished for her phone. ‘I took a photo of it.’
Eloise squinted, picked up the phone and frowned. She swore. ‘Looks legit.’
‘I know. 'I can't believe he kept this from me. I can't believe he lied to me after everything.'
‘I can't even imagine how you must be feeling right now.'
'It’s quite simple, really. I feel like I'm going crazy, El. Like everything I thought I knew, everything I believed about him and about us was just a lie. A fa?ade.’
‘So, what has he said?’
‘I haven’t said anything.’ Cally replied miserably.
‘What?’ Eloise shook her head. ‘Are you nuts? You haven’t said anything! Why ever not?’
‘I’m going to wait until after the races, and then I’m going to call it off. See how he likes it out of the blue. I’ll break up with him then.’
‘What? Sorry? You’ve just kept quiet?’
‘Yes.’
Eloise swore. ‘I don’t think that’s a good idea. Ridiculous!’
‘Probably not, but I’ve made my mind up. Two can play at his game.’
‘This is so weird. Why would he do that?’ Eloise asked. ‘It doesn’t make sense.’
‘You tell me.’
‘You need to talk to him! There might be more to the story; there might be a reason why he didn't tell you about this before.'
'What possible reason could there be? What excuse could he have for keeping something like this from me, for lying to me about his past?'
Eloise sighed. 'I don't know. Maybe he was ashamed. Maybe he didn't know how to tell you, didn't want to risk losing you over something that happened long before you two even met.'
Cally shook her head. ‘Rubbish.’
Eloise nodded. ‘He should have trusted you, should have been honest with you from the word go, but people make mistakes. It doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't love you.’
'Feels like it from my end. How can I trust him now?'
‘Just talk to him, Cal.’
‘I will once we’ve been to the races. It’s so close now.’
‘You really think that’s a good idea? What, so you’re just going to keep schtum all day?’
‘Yup.’
‘I don’t think that’s a good idea. You’re bonkers! You’re better off to just talk to him and find out what is what.’
‘I’ve made up my mind.’
‘Well, there you are then. He better have a good reason for keeping this from you, or I'll kick his sorry butt from here to next Sunday. Best friend's prerogative and all that.'
Cally let out a watery laugh. ‘Too funny.’
‘Let’s have something to eat. That will make you feel better. I really don’t think it’s a good idea to bottle it up and go to the races with the secret, though. Why would you do that?’ Eloise narrowed her eyes. ‘I don’t get that.’
Cally watched as Eloise ladled out two generous portions of pasta and garlic prawns into shallow bowls. ‘I don’t know. It’s warped, but me knowing and him not knowing that I know…’
‘Yeah, that is warped. You just need the truth, plain and simple. Or just finish it. Why put yourself through that?'
‘Grandma always said to stick with the truth.’
‘And we know she was always right.’
‘That we do. I’ll go to the races and then call it a day.’