Chapter Twenty-Nine
‘Wake-up… wake-up… what’s going on?’
I spring to life, realising it’s Tim’s voice that I can hear, and that I have once again fallen asleep on a man while watching a movie. Maybe I am getting old.
I sit up quickly, practically tearing my face from Adam’s shoulder.
‘Come on, you promised no funny business,’ he says. ‘What if one of the kids came down?’
‘You’re home early,’ I say.
‘No, we’re not,’ Angie replies. ‘How long have you been asleep?’
I have no idea.
‘Sorry, we got soaked, bathtime was a lot,’ Adam tells them.
‘Did you get in the bath?’ Tim asks, his eyes widening.
‘No, no, no,’ I reassure him. ‘They’re just… very splashy kids.’
‘Mummy, daddy?’ Jake calls out from the top of the stairs.
‘Perhaps you should leave,’ Angie suggests. ‘Given that you’re both topless. But thank you.’
Angie rummages around in her purse before handing us ￡10 each.
‘Oh, okay, yeah, we can go,’ I reply, standing up. ‘Our tops are in the dryer, I’ll grab them.’
‘I’ll bring them outside to you,’ Tim says. ‘Wait outside.’
‘Wait outside?’ Adam repeats.
‘Wait outside,’ Tim confirms.
‘At least you’re wearing a vest,’ Adam says as we stand outside the front door.
‘It’s a cropped vest,’ I point out. ‘It’s a glorified bra. At least men are allowed to be shirtless – somehow this looks worse.’
Adam laughs.
At least it’s nice out here, on the doorstep, topless. It’s been a lovely warm day so the cool nighttime breeze feels like a relief. I do, however, wish that Tim would hurry up, because this is kind of awkward.
‘I’m not used to stuff like this,’ I say, glancing at Adam.
‘Neither am I,’ he replies with a bemused grin. ‘I’ve had some weird nights, but this takes the cake.’
Suddenly, a man walking his dog stops in front of the house. He’s on the older side, with a stern face and a disapproving glare. He looks like the kind of guy who would kick off if he thought your grass was too high. You can tell because he’s scrutinising everything. And now his attention is on us.
‘What are you two doing?’ he demands – wow even his dog is sniffing around curiously.
‘We’re just waiting for someone,’ Adam tries to explain, his tone friendly.
The man’s eyes narrow.
‘You can’t just frolic in the street half-naked,’ he tells us. ‘This is a respectable neighbourhood and you don’t live here.’
‘We're not frolicking,’ I say, attempting to keep my voice calm. ‘We were babysitting. We’ll be gone in a minute.’
The man’s expression hardens somehow.
‘Babysitting kinds like that?’ he replies as he approaches us. ‘Have some decency! I’ll bet you’ve been fornicating, haven’t you?’
I stifle a laugh but Adam can’t hold it in. The word fornicating sends him. But as he laughs the old man reaches his limit. He takes a swing for Adam, smacking him in the face, and it’s not what you would call a good hit, but somehow that makes it look all the more painful.
‘What the hell?’ Adam calls out. ‘Buddy, you need to back off.’
‘I’m protecting my neighbourhood,’ he insists.
‘Mr Carr, what’s wrong, is everything okay?’ Tim asks as he joins us. He hands us our clothes before joining his neighbour.
‘I found fornicators on your doorstep,’ Mr Carr tells him. ‘I’m making a citizen arrest.’
‘He just hit me,’ Adam tells Tim, clearly still in a state of disbelief.
‘Mr Carr, these are my friends,’ Tim tells him softly.
Mr Carr looks worried, for a second, but then he glares at Tim.
‘Keep your friends in line,’ he snaps, then turns and walks away, dragging his dog with him.
‘Well, he seems lovely,’ I say sarcastically.
‘You were outside without your clothes on,’ Tim reminds us.
‘Because you told us to come out here,’ I reply.
‘Anyway, good night. Thanks again,’ Tim says.
‘Erm, yeah, thanks,’ I call after him as he heads inside. I wait for the door to close. ‘For nothing.’
I turn to Adam and examine his face.
‘You know, I think you might actually be getting a bit of a shiner,’ I tell him. ‘Even I could hit better than that, and yet you’re still getting a bruise.’
‘Please don’t try,’ Adam jokes, touching his face before wincing.
I smile. I don’t know how many men wouldn’t have hit Mr Carr man back, but I’m impressed with Adam for not retaliating.
‘Let’s get you home,’ I tell him. ‘Get some ice on that thing.’
‘Okay, let’s go,’ he replies. ‘You know, I’m starting to think this wasn’t worth the ￡10…’