Chapter Forty-Three
Rory and I sit in his car, the hum of the engine barely audible as we drive slowly through the quiet streets.
‘So, are you going to tell me what happened?’ he asks.
I take a deep breath, trying to find the right place to begin.
‘Si… he… he wanted to be with me, and I thought I might want to be with him – sorry, I know this is awkward,’ I quickly add. ‘But the truth is, I didn’t want him. I wanted Adam. I still want Adam, actually, but it’s all such a mess.’
Rory doesn’t say anything, he just gives me space to talk.
‘And then I found out something… something awful from his mum,’ I continue. ‘Si wasn’t really after me because he liked me. It was for revenge. He wanted to get back at you for stealing Sally – thanks for telling me about that, by the way. God, Rory, I’m just… I’m stuck in the middle of this, and the two of them are falling out, and I don’t know what to do.’
Rory’s hands tighten on the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white. He doesn’t say anything for a moment, just lets out a long, slow breath.
‘Leah… look, for what it’s worth, I don’t think Si would do that to you,’ he says – I wasn’t expecting Rory to defend him. ‘Yeah, he’s been through a lot, and maybe he didn’t handle losing Sally well. But he’s a good guy, deep down. I know him. He wouldn’t use you like that.’
I shake my head, feeling tears prick at the corners of my eyes.
‘Somehow that’s worse,’ I blurt. ‘Because if he did really like me, but I like Adam, and Adam likes me – well, what does that mean for the two of them, as brothers?’
Rory pulls the car over to the side of the road. He turns to face me fully, his expression softening.
‘Look, Leah, you just need to be straight with both of them,’ he tells me. ‘You can’t keep going like this, torturing yourself. You have to talk to them, tell them how you feel. As for what goes on between them, that’s for them to sort out, as brothers. It’s not your problem. It’ll be okay. You’ll see.’
I smile. I’m not sure Rory has ever given me advice before.
‘Thanks,’ I tell him with a smile. ‘You’re not as dumb as you look.’
‘Come on, you can sleep in our spare room, so you don’t have to explain anything to Mum and Dad,’ he replies.
God, I appreciate that.
I just… I can’t shake the feeling that Lorraine was right. Her words echo in my mind, heavy and inescapable. I’m coming between two brothers and that’s… that’s not right. I need to leave them alone, to fix things between themselves, even if that means I don’t get to be with the person that I want.
I really am getting sick of doing the right thing.