24. Isla #2
Aiden turned away from the window. “Fuck. I thought they’d gone. I didn’t see anyone when I snuck over.”
Then annoyance flared through her.
As though we’re fucking teenagers. Sneaking around.
As though I’m a dirty little secret.
Isla reached over and grabbed her pajama top, then pulled it back over her head. Then she tugged her panties back into place. “So it’s fine to come over and have sex? So long as no one finds out about it?”
Aiden adjusted himself, guilt flashing across his face. “I came to say goodbye, Isla. I didn’t expect...I didn’t come to?—”
“What?” White-hot anger surged through her, and she shot to her feet.
“I have to go back to London. I have a business to run, but I’m unable to stay away from you. I can’t keep saying this will be all right, that I don’t have to tell Callum anything and then start fucking you in secret, like a side piece who doesn’t matter to me.”
“Don’t you think I should have a say in this?” Isla scrambled for her discarded shorts and yanked them on. “You were fine with the idea of fucking me five seconds ago.”
“I know. And I still want to. I want you with every inch of my body?—”
“But you didn’t come for that. You came to say goodbye and to walk away. I just provided too much temptation, so you were willing to let me be your dirty little secret so long as you got your jollies? What was the plan after that?” Hurt and frustration spiraled within her.
“I don’t understand what you want from me, Isla.”
“I don’t know!” she exploded. She couldn’t get his words out of her head. He’d been planning on saying goodbye. “But at the very least, I’d like to be a part of the discussion.”
“Okay.” Aiden held her by the shoulders. “Then move to London. Have a relationship with me—a real one. Be my girlfriend, in public, out in the open. We tell Callum, everyone. No more secrets and lies.”
“I-I can’t move to London, Aiden. You know this. I live in Costa Rica.”
“Exactly.” He moved away. “Exactly. This is why we can’t do this.
We aren’t on the same side of the ocean, and I work almost eighty hours a week.
Long-distance isn’t an option. You’re not going to have any time off after this show to come back and forth, and I can’t either.
I’m already so behind on everything that I feel like I’m falling apart at the seams. And I can’t ignore how that would complicate things with Callum, either. ”
“And this?” Isla glared, gesturing toward the bed.
“This is something we can be open to everyone about? This is just another secret and lie, Aiden. How did this make anything better between us? We can’t come back from the lines we’ve crossed, and you fucking know it.
Which means you’re choosing everything—your work, your friendship with my brother— all of it, instead of me. ”
“You’re right, we can’t. And I’m sorry. I don’t blame you if you don’t want to see me again for a while after this.”
Tears misted her eyes, and she clenched her hands into fists, then she strode from the bedroom into the small adjoining living room. “I really hate you right now. I’m not sure I’m ever going to want to see you again.”
“I don’t want to hurt you?—”
“But you are. And you don’t care. God, I’m such an idiot. I shouldn’t have expected any less from the guy who broke up with his previous girlfriend over and over again. Who was infamous in his town for getting a girl pregnant and then walking away the instant she lost the baby.”
His face flickered with pain. “You know that wasn’t true.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. Ciara never said any differently, so who knows if we can believe a habitual liar.”
His posture went rigid, his expression closing off to her. “All right. On that note, I’ll see myself out.” He headed toward the door.
Isla wiped the tears from her cheeks. How dare he? How could he?
God, was this it? All the longing and angst, and he was just going to walk away like she meant nothing to him?
Because that must be the truth.
He wouldn’t discard her so easily if he cared.
Aiden paused at the door, turning his head at the sound of her tears.
Then he set his forehead against the door, closing his eyes.
His breath came rough and uneven as he stared at her. “If I leave, I’ll regret it,” he whispered, more to himself than her. He exhaled sharply as if he’d just made a decision he couldn’t undo.
Aiden left the doorway again, heading straight for her. When he reached her, he lifted her, cradling her against his body as he carried her toward the bedroom. “What are you doing?” she asked.
“Putting my wife to bed, apparently,” he said in a gruff voice. But he set her down gently on the mattress with a look of anguish that made her heart squeeze tightly.
Wife?
She searched his eyes. “That’s not funny, Aiden.”
“Yet, it’s true. We’re married right now, and our lives are tied together in a way that isn’t as easy as shaking hands and going in different directions.
” Aiden rubbed his eyes. “I don’t know what to do, Isla.
I can’t leave you like this. I care about you too much. You’ve turned my entire world on end.”
She reached for his hand. “I told you last night. We don’t have to have everything figured out right now, Aiden. We don’t have to solve this all immediately. Stop asking yourself what makes sense. What do you want?”
“You,” he answered without hesitation. He brushed the tears from her cheeks. “I want you, Isla.”
She reached for his hand and kissed his knuckles. “Then where are you going?”
Aiden blinked at her, a muscle in his jaw flexing.
Please choose me.
She didn’t want to beg—that felt too pathetic—yet his uncertainty didn’t come from a place of insecurity about what he felt for her. They were just in a terrible position.
If he leaves right now, I don’t think I can ever let myself trust him again.
After a few more moments, Aiden exhaled like the weight of the world had just come off his shoulders. Then, with a quiet determination, he reached for her.
He didn’t rush. He didn’t pounce. He gathered her slowly, carefully—like she was something fragile, something breakable. And maybe she was. Perhaps they both were.
His hands slid around her waist as he guided himself into the bed, her body molding against his like they had done this a thousand times before. His fingers wove into her hair, tilting her face toward his. A kiss. Slow. Lingering. Less about desire, more about something deeper. A promise. A vow.
“Nowhere,” he murmured against her lips. “I’m not going anywhere, Isla. If you want me to stay, I’ll stay. If you want to figure this out together, then that’s what we’ll do. Even if I have no idea what I’m doing.”
She closed her eyes, tears continuing to slip from her eyes, but slowing.
She wanted to believe him, but how could she? He’d walked away from her several times already. It almost seemed as though Aiden had walked away from everything difficult in his life. His family. The military. Their marriage—although at least that one made sense. And he was about to leave me.
And now she was supposed to believe he’d suddenly stay?
Her throat ached, her hands still trembling against his chest, even as he held her. “You always leave, Aiden.” Her voice was barely a whisper, but the words cracked something inside her. “What makes me any different?”
Aiden pulled her tighter, his lips brushing her temple. “Because seeing you hurting is more painful than anything else I can imagine,” he said. “Because if I lose you, I lose myself.”
Wow. That’s. ..
“Can I just stay? Hold you?”
Isla squeezed her eyes shut. God, she wanted to believe him. He knew how to say the right things. But trust wasn’t given—it was earned. And Aiden still had a long way to go.
After all the back-and-forth, she wasn’t sure of anything anymore—except that if this was all the time they had, just tonight , sex or no sex, then she would take it.
Take his promises at face value. Because somehow, he mattered to her in an indescribable way.
Having him here with her mattered . And that was truly terrifying.