Chapter 19
CHAPTER NINETEEN
B riar
“I’m nervous,” I confess to Aaron. We are sitting in the waiting room in the ultrasound area of the hospital. I have the ultrasound booked, followed by an appointment with an obstetrician.
“Me too,” Aaron says sheepishly. “Aren’t we a pair?”
“I’ve never held a baby before. I don’t know how to change a diaper. This poor child is getting a seriously inexperienced mother.” I pout.
“And father,” Aaron adds.
“That isn’t making me feel better,” I chide.
“Sorry.” He winces. “I spoke to my mom about my fears and she assured me they’re normal. She was adamant that she and Dad had no clue what they were doing with me, and I think I turned out okay.”
“They did good,” I confirm.
Aaron looks at me with a warm smile. This is so weird. We are two people who had an affair and now we are tied for life.
My name is called and I get up to follow the technician. Aaron comes with me.
The technician guides us to a room and asks me to remove my clothes below the waist.
I get changed and she knocks on the door before reentering the room and asks Aaron to take a seat in the corner.
“I’ll have you come closer when I am done with my measurements,” she explains to him.
She asks me for the date of my last period as she squirts a warm jelly on my abdomen. A nervous excitement radiates through every bone in my body. How can I be so scared and happy all at once?
“Okay, you may come over and look now,” she says to Aaron. She really hasn’t pointed to anything on the screen, so it looks like a lot of black with some gray areas.
Aaron walks over. “This here is your baby. See, that’s the heartbeat.” She points to the pulse in the center. “Nice and strong. According to my calculations, you are seven weeks pregnant.”
Tears spring to my eyes. This is real.
Aaron takes hold of my hand, and his eyes fill with tears. Seeing his emotion makes me think that maybe he isn’t such a bad guy. He has good parents and he’s been supportive. We will make good parenting partners.
“That’s our nugget,” he hiccups.
The technician smiles warmly at him. He’s big and burly but on the inside he’s a softy.
“That’s our Nugget,” I repeat.
* * *
The next few weeks fly by in a blur. Aaron messages me multiple times a day. I head into work at Black Jack’s. When Aaron is in town, he shows up during my shifts. Our friends there are playfully harassing us, wanting to know what is going on with us.
One night, Aaron said to Levi, “I’m just trying to get in her pants again.” Levi fist bumped him and Aaron laughed and gave me a bashful look that made me wonder if there was some truth to his statement. Annie, Ruby, and Charlie have also stopped by while I’ve been working. Thankfully, it wasn’t at the same time as Aaron was here. I keep wondering when my luck will run out and I’ll have to confess to my best friends what’s really going on. Sometimes I feel bad for not keeping them in the loop, but on another level I like having this secret with Aaron. Once news gets out, I will be the center of gossip. The nobody girl who got pregnant by the wingman at school. He’s the school heartbreaker. There have been times I’ve seen Aaron on campus with girls all around him. He’s noticed me but I’ve also asked him not to acknowledge me. Attention is the last thing I need. As it is, there’s gossip floating around after my rapid departure from the gymnastics team. Once I told them I was pregnant, they saw me as a liability. If I got hurt on their watch, it would be trouble for the university, and if something happened to the baby, it would make me a walking disaster, which is what I felt like on most days. Between nausea and eating too many carbs, I stopped feeling like myself. I still went to work out at the gym but my energy levels just weren’t the same and I felt myself losing muscle.
Now it is Sunday morning. The day Mom is coming to collect my car. She was supposed to arrive weeks ago but kept putting it off, and it was just fine with me.
I dressed in an oversized sweatshirt and a pair of leggings. I am eleven weeks pregnant, but I’m not showing. At least not in my belly. My breasts have swelled and hurt and my stomach has a slight bump, but other than that I looked the same. I go downstairs to check if any of my roommates are home. Sometimes they leave early on Sunday to go study on campus. This morning, I have no such luck. One roommate is at the kitchen table doing work. Another is by the couch watching television. I can’t let Mom come inside. I have to tell her about the pregnancy and I need her to keep quiet, which isn’t a guarantee because who knows what kind of reaction to expect from her. She is like a loose cannon. My roommates are the type of girls to gossip. They sleep with athletes and boast about it all the time. If they find out I am pregnant, they will spread the word all over campus.
A text comes in.
Aaron: On my way.
Me: Thought we said it was better I met with Mom alone.
Aaron: That’s what you said, not me. We’re a team. We need to be in this thing together.
Me: We are parenting partners and not everything we do has to be together. Besides, I have a bigger problem, my roommates are all home. I’ll have no privacy.
Aaron : You can come over here.
Me: Are you crazy? You live with my best friends.
Aaron: Exactly. We can trust the guys and Ruby and Charlie. Can you say the same for your roommates?
Damn, he has me there.
Me: We would need to tell them about the pregnancy.
It would no longer be our secret. Having everyone know would make it more real than it already is. Until now, I’ve been living in the shadows, hiding out in my room and going to class or the gym.
My cell rings and Aaron’s name lights up the screen.
“Hello.”
“I really hate texting. It’s so impersonal. We’re talking about something serious. I needed to hear your voice,” he says, and it is terrible how his words bring a smile to my face.
“I’m eleven weeks. I thought we had two weeks before we shared,” I counter.
“You said you can’t trust your roommates. We both know what’s going to happen when word gets out,” he says. We do know. Aaron is a campus heartthrob. Every girl wants him. Finding out he is going to be a daddy is going to break a lot of hearts, even if we aren’t together. There’s also the issue of girls being mean.
“Gah, you’re right. I’ll give Mom your address and head over to you now,” I say to him.
“Have you eaten breakfast?” he asks.
“No, but you don’t need to feed me,” I remind him, since he keeps trying to.
“I know, but I want to,” he answers. I’m not only frustrated about Mom coming to town to take my car; I am now also frustrated that Aaron is so sweet.
“I’ll see you soon. Are Charlie, Ruby, and Annie there?” I can’t tell Aaron’s friends before my own. Especially when they are in serious relationships together.
“Everyone’s here. They’re all still in bed,” he says.
“Okay, I’ll see you soon,” I tell him.
My stomach feels like it’s bottoming out as I drive to the hockey house. My friends have always been supportive, but this is something bigger than any of us have dealt with. When I pull into the driveway, I see Aaron pulling in behind me. He’s driving Cade’s car. I park the car and head outside. It’s a warm day for March so I only put on a light jacket.
“I went to get some fresh bagels and cream cheese from that place on campus,” he explains, holding a paper bag. He pecks my cheek and walks past me. He must feel that I’m not following him because he turns around. “Are you coming in?”
“I’m scared.” I stand frozen in my spot.
“These are our best friends. They’re going to support us,” he assures.
“I’m scared of everything, Aaron. Of you trying to take care of me. Of my friends supporting me. I don’t like accepting help.” I’m having a meltdown and Mom is probably going to be in town in the next half hour.
Aaron watches me sympathetically. “I’m not going anywhere, Briar. You’re stuck with me taking care of you.”
Until he gets a girlfriend. The thought causes me to tear.
“What happens when you meet someone and get married? Or even now. Where will Nugget live?” I’m panicking and I can’t hide it.
“Okay, relax. This is overwhelming, but let’s take this one step at a time. No matter what, I will be here for you. I can’t speak for our friends, but you have me for life.” He takes my hand and places it on his heart. I want to believe him. I really do.
I blow out a breath while internally chiding myself to get my shit together. Mom is coming to town, and I have to be strong because she’ll dish more rejection my way, and I can’t let her bring me down.
“Is this about your mom?” Aaron asks.
“Maybe.” I wince.
“Come inside. I need to feed you, and we have to be open with our friends,” he urges.
“You’re right.” He takes me by the hand and leads me to the house. I follow, hoping I am not setting myself up to be completely obliterated because I am falling for Aaron hard, and if he doesn’t keep that promise, I don’t know what I’ll do.
I follow Aaron into the house. I’ve never been here before but my friends have described it to me. Before three of the guys living here got into serious relationships, this place was party central and the guys had a revolving door of girls.
The house is neat and the furniture is masculine. Aaron said everyone is still in bed. As we pass through the family room, he shouts, “House meeting, be down here in ten.”
My eyes bulge and he turns around. “Don’t worry. I just need everyone here. We don’t have a lot of time.”
I follow him through a swinging door, and we end up in a kitchen. It’s newish looking with stainless steel appliances and nice counters. It looks nothing like the place I am renting. Our appliances are from the late 90s and the cabinets must be from the 70s.
Aaron gets to work, taking two bagels out of the bag. “Do you want toasted?”
It takes me a moment to answer him. “Uh, that’s okay.”
“Do you like cream cheese? I got cinnamon flavored cream cheese or plain. Hope I did okay.”
“You did great. I’ll have the cinnamon,” I say.
“Okay.”
Aaron gets to work spreading the cheese on our bagels. He takes the two plates over to the table and waves me over to sit beside him.
“If anyone walks in right now, there are going to be lots of questions,” I say to him.
He gives me a knowing look.
“We have about seven minutes before they get down here,” he says.
We quickly eat and it really hits the spot.
“If I keep eating carbs, I’m going to be in big trouble,” I tell him.
“I was reading a balanced diet with carbs and plenty of calcium is good for you,” he responds, surprising me, although I wonder if I should really be surprised.
“Yeah, me too, but how will I ever get back into shape after my body bends out of shape?” I ask him just as Luc Chabot walks into the kitchen. At first he just goes for the coffee machine, but he does a double take when he sees us eating side by side and his eyes bulge.
“Holy shit. What is going on here?” He points between Aaron and me.
We quickly finish our bagels.
Aaron stands. “Come to the other room,” he says to Luc.
“Wait, is she the sexy as hell, flexible gymnast?” Luc asks.
Aaron’s cheeks turn bright red and he smacks Luc over the head.
“Ouch.” Luc winces.
“You idiot,” Aaron chides. Then he watches me. “Sorry, I thought we were over after Punta Cana.”
“I thought that too,” I admit. Luc’s words ring in my mind. Did Aaron really call me a sexy as hell, flexible gymnast? I don’t need to ask because his embarrassment shines bright on his face. It also gives me a much-needed ego boost right now.
We head into their family room. Ruby sees me and her eyes turn wide. “Briar, what are you doing here?”
“I was just about to ask the same thing,” Annie adds and Charlie mutters something similar.
Luc walks past us and sits on the couch. “Apparently, all your friends have magic pussies,” he says to Ruby before falling back on the couch.
“Shut the fuck up,” Hayden says. “This is too much.”
“What’s going on?” Finn asks, looking between me and Aaron.
“We need all of you to have a seat,” Aaron says.
“What is going on?” Annie asks again. She looks confused and maybe hurt. She’s confided in me about Cade. I haven’t done the same.
“Briar and I hooked up in Punta Cana,” Aaron blurts.
“He’s the guy you hooked up with?” Ruby asks, confused.
I nod. “I thought it would be complicated to say it was him, with Charlie dating Finn and Ruby with Macklin, and Cade and Annie doing whatever they are doing,” I mutter.
“So that’s what this meeting is about?” Luc asks, looking between us. “You guys are together now?”
“No,” I counter too fast. “I’m pregnant. Eleven weeks to be exact. Aaron and I are having a baby.”
We watch as our friends faces morph into some version of being stunned. No one says a word.
“We were shocked by the news too, and yes, we used protection,” Aaron states. “Briar and I aren’t together now, but we’re a team and we’re having this baby together.”
I note Aaron really likes the word team, maybe because he probably spent most of his life on a team playing hockey.
“I guess congratulations are in order,” Annie says and she walks over to us and hugs us. Everyone else follows suit.
“There’s one more thing. I kind of want to keep my pregnancy a secret for as long as possible. You know how gossip can travel around campus and I don’t want to be the center of it. That’s why Aaron and I are kind of behaving like we don’t really know each other.”
“That’s understandable,” Charlie says. “The gossip at school can be a little much.” She would know since things got out of hand when people found out she was dating Finn in secret.
“Don’t worry, your secret is safe with us,” Macklin assures.
“All of us,” Ruby confirms.
“Thanks, guys,” I say.
Aaron looks at me and smiles.
“If you need help or support or anything, we’re here for you,” Annie says.
“We all are,” Ruby adds.
I start to tear and the doorbell rings. “Shit,” I shout.
Aaron looks wide-eyed.
“Guys, I need you all to get lost. That’s Briar’s mom. She didn’t have a private place to meet her so I told her to bring her here. Whatever you hear, mum’s the word. Seriously.” Aaron points an accusatory finger at everyone in the room.
The bell goes again.
Everyone runs away. Some to the kitchen and some back upstairs.
Aaron runs to open the door. “Mrs. Halle, nice to meet you.”
“It’s Mrs. Strom now, but not for much longer,” Mom says. She shakes Aaron’s hand. “Nice place you have here.” Mom’s eyes are all over the house, checking it out. “This place is much nicer than the shithole my daughter lives in. Last time I was there, a mouse ran across the family room.”
Aaron frowns.
“Come in, Mom.”
“Thanks.” She walks into the house and looks me up and down.
“Would you like to have a seat?” Aaron asks her, pointing to the couch.
“Okay.” Mom walks over to the couch.
“Can I get you a coffee or something cold to drink?” Aaron asks.
“I’ll take a Coke if you have one,” Mom asks.
“Uh, sorry, we don’t have sodas. Too much sugar. We’re all athletes here,” Aaron says.
“Whatever you have,” Mom says. Aaron nods and walks off to the kitchen.
When he’s out of earshot, Mom leans into me. “What the hell am I doing here, Briar? This is a nice place. You shacking up with this guy?”
“I still live in my old house. But my roommates were home, so I thought it would be more comfortable to meet here,” I explain.
Aaron returns with what looks like sparkling water with ice. Mom takes a sip and makes a sour face.
“Can I get the keys, Briar? Sorry to do this, but I’m in a tough situation. Your siblings are costing me a small fortune.”
“Uh, yes,” I say, and my insides start to shake.
“Actually.” Aaron grabs hold of my hand. The strength and warmth of his touch makes me feel grounded. “We have some news.”
“I’m having a baby,” I say to Mom.
“You’re what?” Mom asks.
“I’m pregnant.”
“Why the hell would you do that? You want to throw your whole life away?” she asks.
My gut twists.
“With all due respect, Mrs. Halle, I mean, Mrs. Storm, or whatever it is now,” Aaron says, his voice leaking sarcasm. “It’s true that we didn’t plan on getting pregnant, but this baby is on the way and your daughter and I couldn’t be happier. We expect you to share in our joy. If you don’t find that possible, you can leave.”
My jaw drops. No one has ever spoken to Mom like that before. She’s usually the one beating people up with her words.
“This is why you brought me here, Briar?” Mom asks.
“We wanted to share the news together,” I explain softly.
“Well, I don’t have any money to help you out. I always told you to keep your legs crossed. You should’ve listened.” Her words have the bite they intend and hit me in the center of my chest.
“She doesn’t need any money from you,” Aaron snaps at Mom. “What she needs is a supportive mom, but you don’t know what that means, do you?” he asks and he stares at her waiting for an answer. Who is this guy?
“Briar, give your mom the keys,” Aaron says to me.
I drop the fob into her hand.
“Thank you.” Mom stands. “I think it’s best I go.”
“Okay,” Aaron says to her. “Come back when you can be kind.”
Mom’s eyes narrow on him. She hisses and mutters something under her breath before she stalks toward the front door, opens it to leave, and slams it behind her.
I can’t help the tears that follow her departure.
“Hey,” Aaron says and then he hugs me, pulling me into his strong arms. My head rests against his chest and I take in his scent of sandalwood and something sweet, maybe shea butter or coconuts. It reminds me of our time in Punta Cana.
I don’t know if our friends overheard that horrible encounter. I spent a lot of time in my early years at Riverside trying to cover up that I had a dysfunctional family, and now Mom showed her crazy to the whole house.
I cry into Aaron’s chest.
“Do you really have mice in your house?” he asks, pulling me from my pit of despair. I look up at him.
“It isn’t a big deal. It’s common on my side of student housing. The houses are a lot older.”
“The landlord should deal with it,” Aaron says.
“We tried, he won’t. We’ve set up our own traps though, so you don’t need to worry,” I assure.
“Briar, that’s not a healthy environment. You should move in here. Shane’s room is empty with Ruby sleeping in Macklin’s room.”
“I can’t afford to live here,” I bring to his attention.
“We can make it work. We’ve been dividing rent six ways anyway,” he explains.
“Aaron, I’m not moving in here to live off you. It’s final.” I pull away from him. “I should go back to my house. I have homework to do.”
“Briar, come on. We can make it work,” Aaron says.
“How much rent do you pay?” I ask him.
“How much do you pay?” he asks.
“Three hundred a month,” I tell him.
“Okay,” he says.
“Come on, Aaron. Tell me how much you pay here,” I demand.
“Six hundred but that isn’t important. We can make three hundred work. I’ll talk to the guys. Like I said, the room is sitting empty anyway.”
“I don’t want handouts and that’s all I can afford. I’m losing my scholarship and I have to up my hours at Black Jack’s to be able to survive.”
“You’re carrying my baby. You should allow me to take care of you.”
“It isn’t your job. When Nugget comes, you can help take care of him or her, but I’m not a part of that package,” I insist.
“What just happened here?” Aaron asks because this conversation has turned into a borderline fight.
“I don’t know, but I need to go. I’m working tonight so I won’t be around.” I get ready to go but I forget I don’t have a car.
“Let me ask Cade for his keys. I’ll drive you home,” he offers.
He returns a moment later and we head out. I don’t know where my friends are so I don’t say bye, but I’m sure we will be touching base soon because they probably have a lot of questions for me.
The entire car ride is silent. When we arrive to my house, I say thanks and leave the car. I don’t know why I am upset with Aaron. It makes no sense. The guy wants to feed me and take care of me, but I’m used to cruelty. I’m used to taking care of myself. I can’t give into his kind offers. It may soften me up and when things go south, where will it leave me? Like Mom with a string of last names.
Aaron says bye but he sounds defeated. I head into the house but I can barely get any work done. My head is spinning from that awful meeting with Mom and my horrible reaction to Aaron’s help. After thinking long and hard, I decide I need to stand my ground. No accepting help from Aaron. In the long run, it will be better for the baby and me.