Chapter 30
30
Cat
T his is bad. This is really, really bad. Mrs. Archer is here. Brenda. She’ll want me to call her Brenda, even though, in my head, she’ll always be Mrs. Archer and she’ll always smell like cookies and home. She’s in the kitchen, having a cup of tea, and I’m upstairs, in front of Theo’s door, pacing and wondering if I should wake him up and try to sell this farce, or let him sleep and handle her on my own.
She wants to stay over , though, and damn Theo—I didn’t even know he told his mom, but of course he did, because he loves her. I haven’t talked to her in a year at least, and her last message to me is still on read.
Forgive your parents, Cat.
I have.
I can’t think about that right now. It’s already weird that I’m awake and Theo isn’t, but we so clearly lead separate lives, and I have no idea whether he told his mom the truth. My lungs constrict at the thought of lying to her.
That, more than anything, prompts me to knock on Theo’s door. No response. What if she comes up here? I told her to make herself comfortable. A wife would just walk in. I turn the knob, and suddenly, I’m in Theo’s bedroom, where I very much should not be.
He’s sprawled in his bed, his large form taking up most of the space. I was right—his room does smell like him, deliciously masculine and intoxicating. The heavy drapes are drawn. It’s dark as shit in here. I guess if you’re used to sleeping off a hangover, it makes sense. I fumble my way to the bed, stubbing my toe on his nightstand and cursing under my breath.
“Theo.”
No response. I creep closer, pulled by the sound of his heavy breathing.
“Don’t,” he groans.
I startle. Is he dreaming, or was he talking to me?
“Don’t stop.” The groan this time is obviously one of pleasure.
Oh my god. He’s having a dirty dream, and I’m just standing here. I have to wake him up.
“Fuck,” he growls. “Oh yeah—” His breath leaves his chest in a heavy sigh of pleasure. “Like that.” His voice swirls around me. Danger. Theo is danger. I’m so desperately, foolishly drawn to him. I was so close to agreeing to do every dirty thing on my list with him.
He would break my heart without even meaning to. I wouldn’t even realize until the trap closed around me.
Come on, Cat. I lay my hand on his shoulder. His bare shoulder. It’s round and firm. His skin is hot. Theo burns like a flame when he sleeps.
I give a little shake, and then his hand is around my wrist. I’m surprised and off-balance, and he pulls me just right. I tumble into Theo’s bed and sprawl awkwardly over him. His heavy arm lands at my back.
He’s naked.
Completely, gloriously, bare.
And pressed up against my leg is his thick erection, which I know is long and impressively hard from that time I saw him last week, but which I didn’t expect to feel like warm velvet against my bare skin .
“Fuck, Cat.” He sounds so pained and full of longing, and I’m frozen. Did he just say my name? Is Theo fantasizing about me? Something pinches low inside me. I like the thought of that way too much.
I should move. I shouldn’t just lie here and want him, even though my body disagrees. Especially if he’s asleep and doesn’t realize what’s going on.
“Theo. Wake up. Your mom is downstairs.”
“Cat?” His voice sharpens. He’s awake, then. “Come to test the goods, princess?”
“You pulled me into the bed.” I shift, and his arm tightens around my back.
“Don’t move. Or rather, please do move.”
I push at his chest, and he lets me go with a laugh. I roll to the side and flop onto the mattress next to him. I stare up at the shadowy forms of the four posters of his bed. It really is massive. Enough to sleep a few people comfortably. Though I guess the point is not sleeping. Theo’s steady breaths fill the silence.
“Did you tell your mom that you were married?” I ask.
“What?”
“Your mom. Did you tell her that you’re married? Because she’s here, and she wants to stay the weekend.”
“I’m sorry. My mom is here?”
“Yep. She’s downstairs with a cup of tea. And you should have told me that she knew. I felt like a fool down there.” I poke his arm. “So do we have to fake it or not?”
“Oh, we definitely have to fake it.”
I groan softly. “Why, Theo? Why does it matter if she knows?”
“I don’t want to talk about my mom with you.”
I’m silent for a second. Theo has always hated that his mom and I get along. “Fine. Keep your reasons to yourself, but if we need to sell this, I need you to muss my hair or something. Give me a hickey. But somewhere I can cover later.”
“A hickey?” He sounds dazed. I wonder if he’s still hard and all the blood has yet to rush back to his head.
“Yes. A hickey. Do you want me to walk you through it? First, you put your lips on my neck, but near my collarbone please—” My words cut off as Theo surges over me.
“I don’t need you to tell me how to give you a hickey, baby.” He’s pressing me into the mattress, and wow. His hips settle between my own. His erection shifts against my bare thigh. I want him higher, where my pulse beats between my legs. I force myself not to move.
He brushes the hair off my neck and presses his lips to my pulse. “Here?”
I shiver. His lips are soft, and his stubble scrapes in a way that is so unbearably male. “Too visible.” My voice sounds high and reedy.
His mouth moves to the top of my breast.
Oh, right there. Lower, please. I’m on fire for him, need pooling in my stomach, sparks lighting under my skin every time he kisses me.
“Higher,” I gasp.
His warm mouth lands right above my collarbone. He sucks lightly.
“Theo,” I exclaim. “Not like that.”
“Walk me through it again.” His voice is taunting.
“Harder.”
He sucks harder, and the sensation goes straight to my nipples, and then lower, zinging down my stomach to land between my legs.
“Harder, Theo.”
“I don’t want to break the skin.” His tongue swirls, hot and wet, and fuck , I’m so turned on that I can feel my shorts getting damp.
“Stop messing around,” I say.
“I’m just trying to give you a hickey properly,” he teases. “Come on, Cat. Are you not committed to our marriage?”
“I hate you.”
“Doesn’t feel like you hate me.” He bites at the spot. “You’re arching against me like you want more than a hickey.”
I am. Oh god. I didn’t even realize I was writhing under him.
“I was not. Are you done?”
He laughs and rolls off me, breathing hard. “It’s too bad you despise me, Catherine, because you turn me on more than anyone ever has. ”
I don’t know what to say, because I don’t hate Theo. Not anymore. Not with the way he’s been nothing but good and kind while I’ve stayed here.
“All right, now get out so I can have some private time before I have to go downstairs. Unless you want to join me?”
I scramble off the bed.
“Thought not,” he laughs.
If only he knew how very wrong he is.
Theo’s mom is like a mom from a movie. She’s a mom who always remembers to bring cupcakes to school on your birthday or lets you buy the jeans all the popular girls are wearing. She’s the mom who calls you when you’re out too late, but because she’s worried, not because she wants to yell at you. I love her more than anyone, and I feel so unbearably guilty that I stopped talking to her, and even worse because she’s not mad at me for it.
She squeezes my arm as we sit in the living room.
“I’m so happy you and Theo found each other.”
“You are?” I try to hide my surprise as I blow on my coffee. I’m jittery with nerves, but I need something to do with my hands, so coffee it is.
“Oh, yes. I always knew you were right for him. The way you used to follow him around, like a baby chick.” She shakes her head. “Even at five years old, you were obsessed with him.”
I wince.
“Don’t take it the wrong way.” She laughs. “He was obsessed with you too. He’d wait for you to appear and try to pretend like he just so happened to be repairing something around the yard with his shirt off. Boys. They’re so transparent.”
I have to laugh, even as shame tangles inside me. We’re fooling her now, just like back then. Theo was never obsessed with me. And he’s not now either. I’m going to be sick. I set my coffee cup down abruptly on the table .
“So, Cat, how about a girls’ day out today?” Theo’s mom asks.
“Excellent idea.” Theo strolls into the living room. He’s wearing a T-shirt and sweatpants that ride low on his hips. I look away before I can think too much about what’s under those sweatpants and how it was pressed up against me.
He kisses his mom on the head and drops onto the couch. “I’m glad you’re spending some quality time together.” His pleasant expression doesn’t meet his eyes, and I’m reminded once again of how Theo hates that his mother likes me.
“I thought we might go to the spa,” Brenda Archer says. “I could use a massage.”
Theo’s face softens when he looks at his mom, but I freeze. I don’t have money for that. Theo sees my panicked look and says, “My treat, of course.”
A wife wouldn’t argue. A wife would happily take the black card Theo is holding out and enjoy herself. Shit. This feels like I’ll owe him, just like I did with the lingerie, but I take the card.
“Thank you, darling. So thoughtful.” My eyes tell a different story. I’ll kill you for this. Hours of uninterrupted time for his mother to interrogate me.
His mouth curves up at the side. Not while my mom is here, you won’t.
I turn to Mrs. Archer. Brenda . “How about family dinner later? We can invite Cole. Theo can cook.” I highly doubt Theo knows how to cook beyond making breakfast.
“Excellent idea.” He grins and jumps up off the couch. “I’ll have Daniel bring the car around. He’ll take you to the spa.”
His mom gets up to gather her things, and I make a neck slicing gesture.
“Oh, baby, you promise?” Theo winks at me.
“I hate you.” I throw up my hands and turn to go.
“You say the sweetest things, princess,” he calls after me.
I might not survive this.
The spa is located in one of Midtown’s poshest hotels, and I love it. The hot tub is deliciously warm, and it’s peaceful and quiet, at least until Mrs. Archer says, “So, Cat, how did you and Theo decide to rekindle things?”
Luckily, there’s a cold compress over my eyes, so I can lie to her without looking. The best lies have some truth to them. I sigh. Hopefully, she thinks it’s a sigh of longing.
“It was inevitable, I think.”
She makes a hum of approval.
“I was in love with him for years.” Truth. My stomach twists. I don’t think I’ve ever admitted this out loud.
“And I…when I got away from my parents, it seemed like the right time to start again.” Not all lies.
“So you and your father…”
“It’s done.”
She makes a disappointed sound. I lift the edge of my cold compress to see her frowning at me. Her lined face is tan from the time she spends gardening, and her normally smiling mouth is pressed in a flat line.
“I wish it weren’t, Cat. You know…he’s not an easy man, but there’s a kernel of goodness deep within. If anyone can unlock it, it’s you.”
She’s been waiting for my dad to change, just like I have been.
I let the compress drop. “I don’t think so. Sometimes it’s better to just let things go.”
“I guess I can’t disagree with that. Did something happen?”
My fingers curl into my palms. “You know how my parents are.” If anyone knows, it’s Brenda Archer.
“They wanted you to be a doll. I know. I remember when they would dress you in those terrible outfits and make you sit in the living room, not speaking, not eating, not even smiling.” Her voice is sad, and my insides twist. “I’m sorry, Cat.”
“I know,” I choke out. “I didn’t even mind at the time. I got to spend time with my father, at least.” We’re silent for a moment. Brenda tried to help me as much as she could. I love her for it.
“He wanted me to marry his business partner’s son. If not, he’d disinherit me and publicly disavow any connection to me,” I finally say. “Arnold is horrible. He’s openly sexist, controlling, and mean. I saw a future that looked so much like my mother’s…and I just couldn’t. So I ran.”
She reaches over to squeeze my arm.
“I’m proud of you, sweetie.”
“Thank you.” Emotion clogs my throat. No one has ever said that to me. Even if I hate my family, leaving was still the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
We sit for a minute in silence. Brenda has always been comfortable with silence. It must be where Cole gets it from. Not Theo, that’s for sure.
“What about you?” I ask. “We haven’t talked in…a while. I miss you.”
“I miss you too,” she says gently. “I’m filling my time. Seeing the boys, watching Cole’s games on TV, bragging about him to my gardening club. Traveling. I went to visit Theo in Australia even.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“Yes, well, I wasn’t featured in any of those awful tabloids,” she says tartly.
“What was it like? I’ve never been.” I’ve dreamed about going, just like I’ve fantasized about going everywhere, but particularly places that are out of reach for Gregory Peterson. Australia always seemed impossibly, wonderfully far. The other side of the earth. A place where I could disappear and become someone new.
“Oh, it was wonderful. Theo worried like a mother hen the whole time, of course.”
“He did?” That doesn’t sound like the Theo I know.
“Oh yes. You know, with the health problems I’ve been having.”
“Health problems?” I sit up straight, and the compress drops from my eyes into the water.
“Theo didn’t tell you?”
Shit. “You know how he is,” I say airily. Hopefully she does know, because I sure as hell don’t.
“Full of secrets. Always determined to be strong and never show weakness. I know.” She sighs. “He’s been that way since he was a boy. It’s my fault, I’m sure. He never wanted me to worry about him. Anyway, yes. I’m managing fine now. It’s just some trouble with my breathing. A little back pain.” She waves a hand in the air and sinks deeper into the water. “Nothing a little massage can’t fix.”
“That doesn’t sound like something a massage can fix,” I say quietly. My chest pinches.
“Don’t worry about me. Now that Theo is happy, I can finally relax. Cole is so settled, and Theo has always been restless.”
“I know.” I lean back against the jet behind me and try to relax. “He’s wild.”
“He isn’t deep down, though. He’s still a little boy who wants love and approval. At least that’s how I see him.” She laughs. “He’d be so annoyed if he heard me say that. I’m just happy you’re together. It’s what your grandmother and I always wanted.”
“What?” My voice comes out strangled.
“Oh, yes.” She sighs. “We used to talk about it at tea.”
She smiles at the memory, and I smile too, because my grandma used to have me over for tea too. We would go over my latest craft project, or she’d help me pick my next book. She loved to read like I did. When my dad forced her into the retirement home when I was twenty, it nearly broke me.
“We always knew Theo would be able to protect you,” Brenda continues. “You bring out the best in him. And you defended him too. Don’t think I don’t know about that. I’m convinced it’s why your father never wanted you together. You’d make an unstoppable force if you aligned against him.” She squeezes my arm again. I can’t respond. My throat is too tight, and my eyes are hot and scratchy.
This is all a lie, and I feel like a fraud.