Chapter 2
This is a mistake.
A huge one, but here she was standing in the lobby of the hotel Ben was about to be married in.
She shouldn’t be here. Nothing good would come of watching her best friend marry a person she couldn’t stand. Not to mention, get her heart broken at the same time.
Yet, she needed to be there to see it happen.
To know there was no hope. That the chance she had of ever telling her best friend how she truly felt was gone.
At one point, pre-Fern, she wondered if Ben had felt the same, but when nothing happened, she pushed her feelings down and pursued her own relationship, which had ended disastrously. She never told Ben about that.
She accepted that they were destined never to be anything more than just friends.
“Clara!”
Wait? That sounded like Ben?
Had her thoughts conjured him up?
No, she hadn’t manifested him into appearing.
He was there, striding toward her. His hair mussed as if he’d thrust his fingers through it a few times.
His shirt sleeves were pushed up with the top button undone.
His suit jacket was nowhere to be seen. But more than looking disheveled, he looked … distressed.
“Ben?” She rushed up to him, her natural instinct to soothe her best friend automatic. Something she’d tried over the last few months to ignore, but right this second, she couldn’t.
“Get me out of here.”
“What? The wedding’s in an?—”
“Get me out of here,” he repeated, the urgency in his demand unmistakable.
There was something seriously wrong with him. Clara didn’t know what it was. Or what caused the need for him to flee, but she would do what she knew he would do for her if the roles were reversed—get him out of there.
“Okay. I’m parked down the street.” Clara looked around the lobby to see if someone was chasing Ben, but she didn’t recognize any of the people milling about.
Ben cupped her elbow and together they hurried out of the hotel and onto the street. A million questions were going through her mind, and she bit her lip to stop herself from asking them.
Did Reed know Ben was having a freak out? If so, why wasn’t he by his brother’s side?
More questions, and she had no clue what the answers were. Right this moment, Ben needed her to be Clara, his friend, and that’s what she’d be.
They reached her car and she unlocked it, once again scanning the area before she got in. Still, no one rushed out of the hotel looking for Ben.
“Where do you want to go?” she asked as she started it.
“Anywhere. I don’t care. Just get me away from here.”
“Okay.” Checking the road and seeing it was safe, Clara pulled out and headed toward the hotel she booked into for the weekend. It was an indulgence that wasn’t necessary, considering she lived in a perfectly good townhome thirty minutes from the city, but one she decided she needed.
Five minutes later, they pulled into the underground parking garage. Ben hadn’t said a word, and she hadn’t attempted to start a conversation with him.
“Why are we here?” he asked once they’d parked.
“I booked a room. I decided…” She shrugged. “Doesn’t matter why. Come on, let’s go.”
Not waiting for Ben to respond, she got out and grabbed her sparkly clutch from the backseat where she’d tossed it.
All through the elevator ride to her floor, she kept her eye on Ben.
Watched to see if she could find out what was going on with him.
The anger she saw in his hazel eyes in the hotel lobby was gone.
In its place was a blankness she never saw from her friend before.
It was as though he’d shut down all his emotions.
What the hell happened?
Had Fern upset him?
Mentally, Clara scoffed; anything was possible with Ben’s future wife. At first she seemed nice, but once he put a ring on it, Fern turned cold and possessive, and did everything possible to put a rift between her and Ben, not trusting the relationship between them was platonic.
It had definitely been platonic on Ben’s side from the moment he committed to a forever with Fern, but for Clara, her heart slowly broke when Ben told her he and Fern were getting married.
The doors slid open, and she shoved her feelings for Ben to the back of her mind, where they belonged. He needed her to be a friend to him and that’s what she’d be.
“Here we are,” she said, as she opened the door to her room. There was nothing special about it. It looked like every other hotel room, but she was conscious of the big king bed in the middle of the room and the way her clothes were scattered all over the white bedspread.
If it was anyone other than Ben coming into her room, she’d rush to put everything away, even though that was exactly what she wanted to do.
If she did, he’d know something was up because he’d been to her place plenty of times when she had things everywhere.
Neatness wasn’t her go-to quality, but she wasn’t a hoarder or living in a constant state of mess, either.
God, what was she doing thinking about how she lived her life and how clean her house was when Ben needed her to be the friend she’d always been to him.
“You want a drink?” she asked, placing her clutch carefully on the unit the television sat on.
“You wanted to toss that on the bed, didn’t you?” Ben said with a wry smile.
“Maybe,” she shrugged, but secretly she was thrilled he knew her so well, he knew what her default habits were. “About that drink? We’ve got beer, wine, sparkling wine, and of course, the usual array of spirits, all in tiny bottles.”
“God, Clarabelle, everything is fucked.” Ben sat on the bed and put his head in his hands.
Any thoughts of drinks were forgotten. Ben’s despair reached out to her, making her heart clench. Something horrible must have happened, and it involved Fern, and he was heartbroken.
She sat on the bed next to him, hesitating for a moment, before wrapping her arms around him and hugging him tightly. “I’m sorry, Bento. What happened? Who do I have to bury for you?”
Ben snort laughed. “No bodies need to be buried, except maybe mine, considering I walked away an hour before I was supposed to be married.”
“I’m sure you had a good reason. You love Fern.” Saying those three words almost had Clara vomiting. Fern never deserved the adoration Ben showed her. The fact that Ben still talked to her was amazing considering the campaign Fern had embarked on to erase her from Ben’s life.
“That’s the thing, I don’t think I do.”
Clara leaned back and stared at Ben, his gaze met hers. There was no wavering in his eyes. No hint that he didn’t mean the words he’d uttered. None of the numbness she’d seen in them only a few minutes ago remained. He looked like he always did. Sure and in control.
“I don’t understand,” she said.
Ben hadn’t given her any indication his feelings for Fern were changing.
Admittedly, she’d been away off and on for the last couple of months because her job as a Safety Professional had her visiting a few of the mines in the north of the state that her company owned.
Clara was grateful for those trips as, once she’d realized the depth of her feelings for Ben, she needed some space to process them all.
Ben got up from the bed and walked over to the window. She felt his loss deep in her soul, but she pushed it down. The last thing he needed was for her to get all clingy. He needed her to be his friend.
Nothing more.
Yet, she wanted to get up and wrap her arms around him and lean her cheek against his back. Provide him comfort because it was clear he was hurting and saying things he didn’t really mean.
“Fern’s cheating on me.” The words were said so matter-of-factly. No emotion. No anger.
Why wasn’t he angry? Or was this calmness a front and his anger was simmering below the surface waiting to erupt?
Rage swirled inside of her. How could Fern do that to Ben? He was the most loyal person she knew and, as much as it had hurt seeing them together, Ben always seemed smitten, so she’d been happy for him.
Heck, he’d asked Fern to marry him even though they only knew each other a short time.
Sitting still was impossible now. He needed her.
He had to know it wasn’t his fault no matter what he may be thinking.
He didn’t force Fern to cheat on him. Clara may have been away, and when she was back tried not to be close to them, but she and Ben had talked.
Not once had he said they were having issues.
Or that they had a fight, which could lead Fern to lashing out by seeking comfort with someone other than Ben.
What she’d been wanting to do a few seconds ago, she did.
She rested her cheek against Ben’s back and hugged him hard.
“I’m so sorry. You don’t deserve that.” Now the reason for him being in the lobby of the hotel made more sense.
“I’m guessing you just found out and that’s why you wanted to get away from it all. ”
Ben’s warm hands closed over hers where they rested against his trim, taught belly. “Yes, and no.”
Never once in all the time she knew Ben had she known him to be cryptic. “Okay, you need to start from the beginning. And I think we need alcohol to deal with this.”
“Not sure booze is the best thing for this situation.”
Ben may not need anything, but she had a feeling she was going to need some.
“Better to have it on standby.” Clara gave him one last squeeze before she let him go and went back to the small fridge and pulled out the small bottle of white wine.
Unscrewing the cap, she swallowed some down, grimacing at the tartness of it.
Hotel wine wasn’t the best quality but it did the trick in a pinch. “Right, explain everything.”
The hum of the air conditioner filled the silence as she waited for Ben to tell his story. The longer he remained quiet the more worried she got. Maybe he didn’t want to talk to her, to tell her what Fern did. Had their friendship changed and she hadn’t noticed?
It was possible, but the way Ben rushed up to her in the hotel as if she was a lifeline negated that thought.
As if he finally made up his mind, Ben came over to where she’d perched herself back on the bed and grabbed the bottle of wine out of her hand. He finished the contents, a full body shudder rippled through him. “Fuck, that’s gross.”
“I know, but you can’t expect to have ‘top-shelf’ in the mini fridge.”
“I suppose.” He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “Everything is so fucked up.”
Nothing hurt Clara more than seeing her friend so distressed. Regardless of his claim that he wasn’t sure he loved Fern, she believed his heart was broken. “I’m sure it can be fixed.”
Although if she found out that her betrothed was cheating on her an hour before the ceremony, she’d have run off too.
By now Ben’s absence would have to have been noticed.
There’s no way Reed wouldn’t be frantically searching for his brother.
The muffled sound of her cell’s ringtone came from her small clutch.
Beside her, Ben stiffened, as though he knew the call was from someone looking for him.
“Do you want me to get it?” she asked softly.
“Probably for the best.”
Clara retrieved her phone from her bag as the ringing stopped. She could see the call was from Reed. Seemed her thoughts about him had conjured him up. “It was Reed.”
“Surprised he took this long to call you.”
“Do you want me to call him back?”
“I want to say no, but I don’t want to worry my brother.”
Clara could understand his apprehension.
No one wanted to admit that their fiancée wasn’t the person they thought they were.
Let alone to family. But she believed Reed would understand and wouldn’t cast out any judgment.
Once Reed knew the truth, he’d be glad Ben had found out when he did.
“I’m sure he’s already concerned that he can’t find you. ”
“Especially since my wallet and phone are still in the room where I was getting ready,” Ben said with a small smile.
“Right, then we need to let him know you’re okay.” Clara woke up her phone and called Reed. He picked up almost immediately.
“Clara! Do you have him?” For the first time since she’d known the Bolton boys, Reed sounded frazzled, so out of character for the normally cool-headed former soldier.
“I do.”
“Thank fuck,” Reed said. “Is he coming back?”
Clara looked over at Ben, and he shook his head, obviously having heard Reed’s question. “No.”
“Okay, can I talk to him?”
Ben shook his head, and normally she’d heed her friend’s wishes, but not this time. She held out the phone. “You need to say something.”
His eyes narrowed in annoyance, and Clara took it on the chin. There it was, the anger she knew had to be lurking within him.
From past experience, she knew Ben wouldn’t stay angry with her for long.
She waggled the phone in his face, and after another couple of seconds, he snatched it from her.
“I’m fine. With Clara at her hotel. The wedding is off.
I’ll explain everything later.” He ended the call and tossed the phone on the bed, glaring at her. “Happy now?”
“No, I’m not happy. Why would I be? My best friend found out the future he was excited about is disintegrating in front of him. How can I be happy about that?”