Chapter 16
Siena
W hen I walked into the mansion and closed the door behind me, I sank down onto the cold, tile floor. Why did Ryan have to make this so much harder than it needed to be? Why did he have to stand up for me? He didn't have feelings for me. It was just fucking sex for god's sake! The best sex of my life, but still...to him it was just sex. If I had wanted him to know that Tony hurt me, I would have told him. I didn't need him to act like my knight in shining armor. I could take care of myself, dammit. I’d been on my own for two years, and survived just fine, thank you. Still, the fact that he broke Tony's nose for me made me want to kiss the hell out of him. I wasn't used to anyone standing up for me, and that was exactly what both Carlo and Ryan had done.
After a few minutes of just sitting there in the entryway, I got to my feet and headed upstairs to take care of my asshole boyfriend. I went straight to our en suite bathroom, where I figured he would be. Sure enough, he was sitting on the toilet seat with his head tipped back, trying to stop the blood flowing from his nose.
"Here, let me take a look," I told him as I approached carefully. I knew he would be irritable, and I was slightly afraid of what he might do. When I got closer, I could smell the alcohol on him. I figured he was probably drunk, and the last thing I needed was for him to lash out at me for something that was beyond my control. He didn't disappoint.
"What the fuck do you want?!" he hissed at me as he dropped a wad of tissues into the trash bin beside the toilet, quickly grabbing another handful.
I didn't want to let him see my fear, so I squared my shoulders and looked him right in the eye. "I came in to take care of my boyfriend because I heard what happened. I guess if you want to deal with this shit on your own, be my guest." With that, I turned around and started walking out of the bathroom.
"This is your fucking fault, you know! If you hadn't gone crying to Ryan about me grabbing you, he wouldn't have broken my fucking nose!"
His words stopped me dead in my tracks. I spun around on him, anger overwhelming me. Forgetting my previous fear, I shoved my finger roughly into his chest. "Excuse me...my fault? My fucking fault?! For your information, jackass, I didn't say a goddamn thing to Ryan about what you did to me. He heard I missed a week at the club, and when he asked about it tonight, I told him I had the fucking flu ! I don’t know who fucking told him, but it wasn’t me! I didn't cause this. You did the moment you put your hands on me last week!" I watched as his eyes narrowed and his nostrils flared. He was getting pissed off, and I knew I needed to be careful. "Look, Tony," I said after taking a deep, calming breath, "do you want my help or not? If not, then I'm going to bed. I've had a long day today and I'm exhausted." He glared at me for a long moment before his shoulders finally slumped and he nodded.
Somewhat tentatively, I walked up to him and removed the tissues. The bleeding had almost stopped, but his nose was definitely broken. I could tell because of the swelling and all the bruising that was starting to develop. "Alright, I need to reset this so it's straight. It's probably going to hurt, though. Are you ready?"
"Whatever. I don't want a fucking crooked nose for the rest of my life, so do what you have to fucking do already."
Once the words were out of his mouth, I grabbed his nose roughly with my right hand and pushed the cartilage back into place. When I heard a sickening crunch, I was filled with a sense of twisted satisfaction.
"FUCK!" Tony screamed out in pain and I had to turn away to hide the smirk on my face. Could I have been gentler with him? Definitely. Did I want to be? No way in hell. He deserved to hurt for what he had done to me. Even Carlo beating the shit out of him wasn't enough. I needed to do something too, and this made me feel somewhat vindicated.
I shuffled through the medicine cabinet looking for a bottle of Motrin?, and when I could control my facial expressions, I turned back to Tony. His eyes were clenched shut and he had a death grip on his knees. I could see wet streaks trailing down his cheeks, and I knew it had to hurt like a son-of-a-bitch.
"You should probably take these. I'll go down and get you an ice pack. It's going to be swollen for a while, and you've already got two black eyes forming. The ice should help with the swelling, though." Without another word, I handed him two Motrin? and then walked out of the room.
I had been able to avoid Ryan the following two days. My body yearned for him in every way, begging me for just a glimpse of him, but I knew what it would mean if I gave in to the call. If anyone ever saw me even looking at him wrong, we would be dead faster than it would take a snowcone to melt in hell.
Things with Tony had gotten better in some ways, but worse in others. Because of the injury to his nose and the bruising on his face, he was in a lot of pain. That meant that he wasn't overly aggressive in the bedroom. He would still shove his cock down my throat whenever he felt the need to, but when he fucked me, it wasn't as rough as it had been in the past. It was honestly a relief to not worry about him hurting me for once. Still, I craved a different man. I craved warm, emerald green eyes instead of cold, steely black ones. I craved soft, loving caresses and feather light kisses, over a man who would cause me pain just to get himself off. The truth was...I craved Ryan, and I didn't know how long my resolve to stay away from him would hold up.
I decided to put it to the test the next day at the club. Carlo had sent Tony and his men on an errand, so I knew we wouldn't have to worry about prying eyes. When he walked into Cherries and straight back to his office, I made my way to the bar to get him a whiskey. I was scheduled to dance to Hot For Teacher by Van Halen in an hour, so I was dressed in a very short plaid skirt and a collared, button up shirt. I had left it unbuttoned, and tied in a knot just below my boobs to show my black, lacy bra and ample cleavage. To finish off the outfit, I wore white fishnet stockings and a pair of black and white, Mary Jane style, 5 inch fuck me heels. I knew I looked damn hot, and I was proud of that fact as I strutted my way toward Ryan's office.
When I got to the door, it was partially open, and I could hear Barbie speaking to Ryan in what I assumed was meant to be a seductive tone. "Oh, come on, Ry! You know I suck cock better than anyone here. Let me help relieve some of your tension, baby," she offered in her nasally voice. I risked a peek through the door and saw that little whore on her knees in front of him, reaching for his belt buckle.
My heart skipped a beat until I saw him push her hands away and stand up to get away from her. "Goddammit, Barbie! I fucking said NO! I don't need you to suck my cock. Shit, I don't WANT you to suck my cock! Get the fuck off your knees and out of my office. NOW!" With that, I backed away from the door and quickly went into the locker room.
Barbie stormed in a few seconds later, and I swear she looked possessed, but I didn't say a word. She didn't notice me standing there, so I walked right back out and into Ryan's office, closing the door behind me.
"Good evening, Ryan. I thought you could probably use a whiskey," I said in greeting when he looked up at the sound of the door closing. His eyes were traveling over every inch of my body, lingering longer than was appropriate on my exposed legs and chest. Secretly, I was flattered and felt my stomach tighten in need for the man, but I couldn't let him see my weakness for him. Instead, I cleared my throat harshly and spoke. "Ryan!” I said, snapping my fingers in his face. “I know I've said this before, but I'm up here."
His eyes immediately met mine, and I could see the lust in them. "Hello, Trixie. What can I do to you...um, for you this evening?"
Holy hell! I was going to spontaneously combust if he kept looking at me like he wanted to devour me. "I, uh, brought you some whiskey, like I said. I'm scheduled to dance in a bit, but I'm on break right now so I thought I'd bring you a drink."
His eyes landed on the tumbler in my hand, filled with his favorite amber colored liquid, and then drifted up to my exposed cleavage. He licked his lips, and I was instantly aroused. Shit! I wasn't ready to face him and I knew that now. I needed to get outside and get some fresh air as quickly as possible, or I would find myself straddling his lap, begging him to fuck me again. Maybe I really wasn't any better than the other whores in this place.
Without another word, I set the glass on the corner of his desk and exited the room quickly. I made it into the alley outside and sank down against the wall. I couldn't breathe; I couldn't think. My heart was pounding so hard in my chest that I thought it would punch its way through.
I'm not sure how long I sat there, but it couldn't have been long before the back door opened and someone joined me. Without looking up, I knew by the change in the air that it was Ryan; it had to be. No one else affected me like he did, and the night I spent with him only intensified the feeling.
"Siena? Are you okay?" he asked as he took a seat next to me, pulling his smokes out of his jacket pocket.
The sound of my real name on his lips always sent chills down my spine, but I didn’t want him to know that. He almost always called me Trixie to protect my secret, which I appreciated more than he would ever know. I shrugged noncommittally, because I really wasn't okay. I didn't know what the fuck was wrong with me, or what I was supposed to do about it. I thought I was strong, but when it came to Ryan, I was as weak as a newborn baby.
"I'm fine," I finally said after a few moments of silence.
"You don't look fine," he commented immediately, handing me his cigarette and tapping another out of his pack.
I took a long drag and let the smoke permeate my lungs. When I needed oxygen, I released the tainted breath and sucked in a lungful of the air around me. The nicotine calmed me down infinitesimally, but I was still one big ball of nerves. "Gee, just what every girl wants to hear. Thanks. It’s been a long few days, I guess." It was a crock of shit, but I couldn't tell him the truth. I couldn't admit to this man that he was all I thought about anymore, all I dreamed about, all I wanted. I knew if I did, my resolve would weaken, and I'd allow myself to do something stupid that would cost us both our lives.
Ryan looked at me closely for what seemed like an eternity before pulling a long drag from his cigarette, finally breaking eye contact. He sighed heavily, releasing a whoosh of smoke before he said anything. "Yeah, I know what you mean." I highly doubted he did, but I didn't tell him that. Instead, I took another long pull of my smoke and sat in the silence of the night. Well, as silent as it could get in Chicago, anyway.
Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and I had to say something. "Ryan, can I ask you a question?" I turned to meet his gaze, which quickly became teasing.
"You just did."
"Alright, smart ass! That's not what I meant and you know it!" That was so typical of Ryan to say, but I couldn't control the pull of my lips as they lifted into a smile. The tension seemed to melt away, and for that I was grateful.
"Siena, you can ask me anything," he said in a soft tone that held an undercurrent to it. I wasn't sure what it was exactly, but it sounded a lot like longing.
I inhaled the sweet smoke once again, and then let out a deep breath before asking the question that had been plaguing me. "Why do you keep turning Barbie down when she offers to give you head?"
His eyes met mine and darkened with lust. "Because there's only one set of lips I ever want wrapped around my cock again, and they don't belong to that slut."
I was shocked at the look of pure desire on his face as the pull between us intensified. It was so strong, I couldn't fight it anymore. I found myself leaning closer and closer to him, until we were only a breath apart. My eyes traveled down to his mouth, and I watched as his tongue poked out to wet his lips. I did the same, and then looked back up into his eyes. This was so wrong, but I couldn't stop it. My body was acting on its own now, ignoring any sense of reason.
"R...Ryan, I...we..." I couldn't even form a sentence, my mind was so clouded.
He brought his right hand up to cradle my face as he stared into my eyes. "Shh," he shushed me. "I know." He leaned in just the slightest bit and was about to kiss me when the back door to the club opened with a bang. The noise caused us both to jerk apart, but I knew Libby saw more than she should have when her eyes just about popped out of her head.
"Um, Trixie? You're on in five, so I wanted to come find you. Are you ready?"
I stood up quickly, brushing off my skirt and tossing my cigarette to the ground. "Yep!" I said with a bit too much eagerness. "Let's go! See you later, Ryan. Thanks for the smoke."
"Anytime, Trixie," he replied easily. I could feel his eyes boring into my backside as Lib and I walked back into the club and the door shut behind us.
"What the fuck was that ?!" she whisper-yelled once she had pulled me into the locker room and made sure it was empty.
"What was what?" I tried and failed to act like I didn't know what she was talking about.
"Don't you dare try to feed me that bullshit, Trixie. I know you better than anyone here. You were about to kiss Ryan, weren't you?" she demanded.
You know that old expression 'like a deer in the headlights'? Well, I was the deer, and Libby was the car barreling toward me at seventy miles an hour. "Can we talk about this later, please? I need to get out to the stage for my set," I begged.
She raised a bitch-brow at me and tapped her foot. "You bet your sweet ass we'll be talking about this later!" she hissed. "And I want the whole fucking story. Do you understand me?"
Normally, Libby was very laid back, but she could be scary as hell when she wanted to be. Right now was obviously one of those times. With my tail sufficiently tucked between my legs, I met her gaze and nodded. "The whole story, I promise." With that, I left the locker room and waited backstage for Bambi to finish her set.
It had been three days since the near kiss, and I had successfully avoided speaking to Ryan. I had made it a point to stay as far away from him as possible, and it seemed to be working so far.
With Tony still off on Carlo's errand, I was able to have lunch with Lib the following day. I told her everything.
I admitted to her that Tony had gambled me away on the roll of some fucking dice, and that I had spent the weekend with Ryan before he left on his business trip. I told her that weekend I’d had the most incredible sex of my entire life, and that I couldn't get Ryan out of my head. Not wanting to leave anything out, I explained about why I was off last week and the subsequent beating Tony took from his father because of it. I told her about how Ryan found out somehow and went off on him the night he got back, then we laughed together over how I 'reset' Tony’s nose for him. Finally, I told her about the alley and the pull I felt for Ryan.
"Holy shit, girl! You're in love with him!" she squealed when I had finally finished my story.
"Goddammit, Lib! Keep it fucking down, will you? Someone could be listening!" I hissed at her.
"Sorry," she said, properly chastised. "I just can't believe it! Do you know what Tony will do when he finds out?"
I sighed deeply and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Yes, Lib, which is why he can never find out," I explained. I wanted to deny the fact that I was in love with Ryan, but I knew she'd see right through me. There was no point.
"Alright, then we need a plan," she whispered as she leaned in closer to me.
We spent an hour that afternoon coming up with a strategy to avoid Ryan. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but if it saved our lives, it would be worth it.
Later that afternoon, I found myself at the club again. It was a Friday, so we were expecting some major crowds. Carlo had hired two extra bouncers while Ryan was in Brazil to come in on the weekends, so I felt more comfortable dancing when it was busy. After that last incident had shaken me to the core, Carlo agreed that we needed better security.
I was in the locker room getting ready for the evening. My outfit consisted of skin-tight leather pants that were laced at the thighs and had a faux studded belt built in, and a black leather V-neck halter top that tied around the neck and laced up in the back. To top off the outfit, I had on a pair of black, strappy 4 inch stilettos that were adorned with studs that matched my top and pants.
I would be dancing to I Love Rock 'N' Roll by Joan Jett, but my clothes were inspired by the outfit Brittney Spears wore in her music video of the song. I felt so incredibly sexy, and my confidence was soaring as I did my makeup all dark and smoky.
When it was almost time for my song, I took my spot backstage. I would be using the pole for the first part of the song tonight, but for the second part, I planned on engaging the audience a little more—driving them wild, so to speak—to draw in better tips.
When Barbie finished her striptease, wearing only the skimpiest of G-string panties that barely covered her snatch, the club went nuts. I couldn't help but roll my eyes. You just wait, gentlemen...you ain't seen nothin' yet, I thought to myself. I was counting on making over two grand in tips tonight to hide away for when I made my escape, and I was willing to pull out all the stops in order to make it happen. I had to get out of Chicago and as far away from Ryan and Tony as I could. That was one thing Libby and I had agreed on.
The lights died down, and when they did, it was like someone hit the mute button. The boisterous club from moments before was now so silent you could hear a pin drop. That was my cue to take my spot center stage, and I did so with confidence. I had this tonight, and nothing was going to stand in my way.
Jesse hit play, and the first two notes of the guitar filled the room as the spotlights flickered, casting a strobe-light effect. I began to move with a slight shake of my hips. When Joan's voice filled the room, I added my arms, reaching above my head before sliding my backside seductively down the pole.
As the song went on, I continued to grind myself against the pole, both front and back, driving the men in the club wild. When the chorus started to play, I turned my back to the crowd and reached up high on the pole, my grip firm. I hoisted myself up so I was straddling the pole at shoulder height, and clenched my thighs together so I could release my hands. The pants I was wearing tonight made gripping the pole with my legs a lot easier, so I could do more involved tricks.
When I was sure I wasn't going to plummet to the ground, I leaned my head all the way back and smiled at the crowd, who was going absolutely nuts. Every man in this place knew the muscle strength and control it took to hang upside down on the pole using just your legs; I could tell by the amazed and wanton looks on their faces.
I ran my hands down my body, over my tits, which were practically falling out of my halter, and to the pole below me. Once I had a firm grip, I loosened my legs and, using all my upper body strength, straightened them out above me so I was upside down and parallel to the pole. I held the position for a few seconds, then slowly started to bend my waist and lower my legs back to the ground. When I straightened my back, I was facing the pole once more. The club exploded when I shook my ass at them before whipping around the pole to face them.
Now well into the second verse of the song, and right before the second chorus, I wrapped my knee around the pole and used it to guide me to the ground effortlessly as I twirled around it. Once I was on my knees, I moved away from the pole on all fours, slinking toward the edge of the stage to the beat of the music.
I stopped with about a foot to spare, smiling as all the men started reaching and grabbing for me, and knowing that they weren't allowed to touch me. I felt safe, I felt confident, and I felt so fucking sexy as the bills started piling up on the wooden floor in front of me.
I continued to prowl back and forth across the platform, licking my lips and teeth seductively, and giving the front row my best 'bedroom' eyes so they would fork over more cash. I was taking no prisoners tonight. I wanted all their money, and by god, I was going to get what I wanted.
Just as the song was about to end, all hell broke loose. I felt myself being pulled toward the edge of the stage before I ever even saw anyone move. I tried to fight the guy off, but he was drunk and way too strong for me. Before I knew it, his left hand was on the back of my neck, pulling me closer toward him while his right hand slipped under my halter until he was groping my bare tit. I tried to scream for security, but the moment I opened my mouth, he covered my lips with his and shoved his tongue down my throat. I was powerless to stop it from happening, and scared of what might happen next. If security didn't get here soon, the crowd would probably end up pulling me from the stage and ripping my clothes off, all vying to get a chance at me.
The drunk fucker released his hold on me to get some much needed air, and the moment he did, I let out a high-pitched shriek for security. When I felt the man being forcefully pulled away, I thought they had arrived. I was surprised to look up at an enraged Ryan right before he punched the other guy in the face, causing him to spit blood and probably a few teeth.
I scrambled to my feet and moved toward them as Ryan punched the guy again, this time in the stomach. The rage that consumed his features was something I had only ever seen once—he had the same look on his face in the alley behind Cherries on my first day here—and it scared me. When I saw Ryan reaching behind him to pull out his piece, I knew it was time to step in.
"Ryan Lawson! What the fuck do you think you're doing? The asshole is drunk. He doesn't deserve to be shot for that!"
Ryan's eyes locked with mine, and I could see the possessive fury lighting up their depths. I knew he was trying to protect me—he told me once he would always protect me—but this was taking it too far. I wasn't his to protect. Carlo had paid for extra bouncers for exactly this reason, and it was their job to watch out for me now.
"Ryan, put your fucking gun away, now , and let security deal with this!" He looked taken aback when I screamed at him. Anyone who knew Ryan Lawson knew that the man had a short fuse, and yelling at him was the last thing a person should do if they wanted to walk away with their life. Yet that was exactly what I had done.
"But, S...Trixie, he was practically trying to rape you in front of everyone!"
I could see the anger flash in his eyes, but I knew I couldn't back down. This needed to end once and for all. "That's not your fucking problem, is it? I'm not your girl, Ryan! I belong to Tony. If anyone is going to kill that fucker, it will be him." I gestured to the man now in restraints as security was leading him out of the club. "It was sweet at first that you're so chivalrous, but it's getting fucking old. Stay the fuck away from me and let security do their goddamn job!"
I watched as his eyes widened at my words before they turned hard. Yes, I had successfully pissed him off. The only question was...would it be enough to get him to back away for good?