Chapter 50
50
DEAN WALKER’S APARTMENT, DOWNTOWN MANHATTAN
Dean opened the front door and Hayley bowled through it. ‘You’d better tell me exactly what he said to you and what you said to him and what Angel said to anybody.’
‘Slow down,’ Dean said. ‘Take a breath.’ He followed her towards the stairs.
‘Take a breath?! He’s up there with the daughter he doesn’t know he has. Why didn’t he just ring?! Why did he have to turn up here? What’s he even doing here?’
‘I know, it’s Sod’s Law.’
‘I want to kill Sod right about now.’ She put a hand to her head, trying to press away the tension with her fingers.
‘What do you want me to do? Do you want me to take Angel out somewhere so you can talk to him alone? I’ll do whatever you want me to do. Just tell me,’ Dean said.
‘What have you said to him? What have you said to Angel?’
‘He knocked on the door, he said he was looking for you, that you’d left this address at Vipers.’ Dean sighed and put his hand to his head as he recalled the scene. ‘I asked him in, I said you wouldn’t be long, I made him a coffee, I told Angel he was a friend and?—’
Hayley clamped a hand to her mouth. ‘Oh my God, no, Dean, she knows it’s him. I showed her a photo!’ She ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time, and burst into the main room, her breath catching in her throat. The scene before her stole what little breath she had left.
Angel was sat on the arm of the sofa holding a foolscap pad and there he was, Michel, Angel’s father, sat next to his daughter, sketching with her. He looked completely unchanged. He was wearing jeans and battered Converse sneakers, a tie-dye T-shirt, his hair still tousled.
‘So,’ Hayley started, making herself move. ‘What’s going on here then?’
Angel looked up, a serene yet slightly scary smile on her face. ‘Michel is here.’
‘I can see that,’ Hayley stated, stepping closer.
‘Hello, Hayley,’ Michel greeted, putting the pad down and standing up. He stepped forward and quickly kissed her on both cheeks. Angel started to clap and Hayley shot a look to Dean for some help.
‘So, Angel, let’s go find Randy and Vernon and take them for a walk,’ Dean offered, taking his niece by the arm.
‘But I don’t want to. I want to stay here,’ Angel protested, pulling a scowl.
Hayley swallowed. ‘Angel, please, go with Uncle Dean.’
Michel had walked into this situation with absolutely no prior warning. She needed to tell him in a controlled way, so he had a chance to react to it without Angel being here. He deserved that at the very least.
Angel folded her arms across her chest and looked indignant. ‘It’s not fair. ’
‘Double waffles and hot chocolate?’ Dean tempted. ‘Let’s get your coat.’ He shepherded Angel from the room and Hayley collapsed into the chair opposite Michel. How did she begin?
When she eventually found the strength to meet his eyes, he was gazing back at her.
‘You have done something a little different with your hair,’ he started.
‘You haven’t.’
He smiled, put a hand to it. ‘It has been a long time since we saw each other last.’
‘You do remember then?’ Hayley asked. ‘One wild night under the influence of wine and vodka.’
‘But, of course. It is impossible to forget someone who wore a neon-pink dress and danced so crazy.’
She blew out a breath. That was something. Not that it would make it any easier. ‘You changed your name.’ And it was agony trying to find you , she wanted to add.
‘Yes, for my job. It was a suggestion from my agent. He thought Michel Arment had more appeal.’
‘Wow,’ Hayley stated. ‘An agent.’
‘So, you live here now? In New York?’ he asked her. ‘With the man that was here?’
She shook her head. ‘No. Dean’s my brother. I’m just visiting.’ She swallowed. ‘I still live in England. We live in England.’
He nodded. ‘I have travelled quite a lot. I go back to Belgium for a time, then to France, but I come back here two years ago. My art goes well here; people like it and they buy it.’
‘That’s good,’ Hayley nodded.
She watched Michel’s eyebrows knit together as he looked at her. ‘You want to catch up? To go out together?’ he asked. ‘That is why you try to find me?’
She shook her head. ‘Not exactly, no. ’
‘Then…’
She squeezed her eyes tight shut. If she could pay someone to come in and deliver this news for her then she would. Like a kissogram service but not. He was here. It was what she’d wanted. She needed to get it over with.
‘There’s no easy way to tell you this.’ Hayley drew in a breath that had her ribs bursting for relief. ‘Our night together all those years ago… we didn’t just make love, Michel; we made a baby.’ She screwed her eyes shut again. ‘I got pregnant and I had your baby.’
There. It was done. Out in the open. The only thing to be afraid of now was his reaction.
She dared to open one eye and watched the colour fall from his face. He leant forward, put his face in his hands, dragging his fingers down the skin, eyes wide with shock. He wet his lips and opened his mouth to speak. ‘The girl who was here…’
Hayley nodded. ‘Yes, that’s her. That’s Angel.’
He shook his head. ‘I do not believe this.’
‘I know it must be a shock and I never had any intention of getting you involved, but Angel, she has this dream to meet her father and I just want to make her happy. That’s all I’ve ever tried to do.’
‘I mean… how could you do this?’
‘What?’
‘Ten years ago, you have a child and… I do not… I cannot.’ His voice was raising in volume and his agitation was clear to see. He got to his feet, kicking at the wooden flooring and heading towards the Christmas tree. He threw his arms up in the air, bells on Bruce’s branches reacting as his fingertips swiped at them.
‘You say you were careful… I ask you this!’
‘I was drunk, Michel! And young and stupid!’
‘Ten years, Hayley,’ Michel stated.
‘I know how long it’s been. ’
‘You do not find me when you know you are pregnant.’
‘Well, no, I mean, you were here and I was in England and we were both young. You wouldn’t want to settle down with a child. You had dreams to paint and take pictures, see the world.’
‘So you do not tell me?’
‘I…’ Hayley moved her eyes away. She didn’t know what she had been expecting but it hadn’t been this. So much anger and accusation.
‘You do not give me the choice?’
‘It was my problem.’ She swallowed, instantly regretting the word ‘problem’. Her mother had told her what to do and she had let her, too ashamed, too overwhelmed to have an opinion. He wouldn’t want to know. He was on the other side of the world.
‘I didn’t think—’ she began.
‘That is obvious.’ He made a noise of irritation like someone had pushed past him on the street.
She tried to even out her voice, taking a breath before continuing. ‘Listen, we have to deal with the situation as it stands now. I have a nine-year-old daughter who made a wish this year to meet her father. Your daughter. Now, it’s up to you.’
She waited for her words to sink in, watching him shift his feet, rubbing one trainer up against the other. He turned to face the window and Hayley watched him as the snowflakes flashed past the glass. What was he going to do?
He turned around to face her and she swallowed.
‘I am allowed to have a decision now, yes?’ Michel spat.
She opened her mouth, unsure what was going to come out. ‘Yes… of course… I…’
She watched him suck in a breath that filled his wiry frame, rocking him slightly until his hair fell over his face. What was he going to say?
‘I can’t deal with this, Hayley.’ He put his hands into his hair, wrapping it around his fingers until he was pulling it like someone in complete turmoil. ‘I just can’t deal with this.’
‘Listen… I know it’s a big thing… a huge thing but… nothing has to change for you. I mean, we can…’ She was talking so quickly, none of the words were coming out how she wanted them to. She just needed him to know that Angel just wanted the chance to get to know where she had come from.
‘Nothing has to change?!’ He shook his head, his hair responding to the motion. ‘You tell me I have a child! Everything has changed!’
She could feel the tears at the very edge of her eyelids. One blink and they would be slipping down her face. She had to hold it together.
‘I’m sorry.’ He strode towards her but moved past, heading for the door. ‘I can’t do this.’
‘Michel, please,’ she begged, reaching for his arm.
He shook her off and before she was really fully aware of it, she was hearing footfalls on the stairs and the slam of Dean’s front door.