Chapter 49
LANEY
I n something of a daze, I followed Sterling into the penthouse and wondered for the umpteenth time if this was just a dream. As the door snicked into place behind us, I spun to face him, looking up into those blue eyes and not finding so much as a shred of ice.
“Say it again,” I demanded quietly, not letting go of his hand but also refusing to take another step further into this place without hearing him say it now that we were alone. “Tell me, Sterling.”
A slow grin hooked at one corner of his mouth and his arm snaked around my waist, tugging me to him. I landed hard against his chest. “I love you, Laney Westwood. I’ll say it as many times as you want for the rest of my life if you’ll have me for that long.”
I smiled up at him, my fingertips grazing across the dark stubble on his jaw. “I’ll have you for as long as you promise not to make me listen to a conversation like that again.”
“Sure,” he murmured, leaning into my touch and letting out a soft sigh. “Let the record show that I didn’t make you listen to it this time either, though. I’m still accepting full responsibility for what I said. It’s just that I didn’t make you do anything.”
“Fair enough.” I rested my head against his chest, listening to the uneven thudding of his heart against my ear. “I’m just not sure what to make of all this.”
Sterling wrapped me in his arms, holding me tight, and walked us toward the living room. “You can make of it whatever you want, but the truth is that the organ you’re listening to right now? That belongs to you.”
I smiled and closed my eyes. Sterling covered one of my hands in one of his and dragged it along his side, all the way from his shoulder to his hip. “This belongs to you, too.”
I chuckled. “Does that mean that your abs are also mine?”
“My abs. My cock. My soul. My money. All of it.”
My butt brushed against the back of the couch. I looked up at him in the dark of the room. All the lights were off, but ambient light from the city below cast the space in a silvery glow.
“I don’t care about your money, but I’ll take your heart, body, and soul.”
He grinned as he stared into my eyes and caught my cheek in his hand. “Well, I guess that’s good because after the talk I plan on having with my father, we might have to live out the rest of our days on only my trust fund.”
I pretended to gasp. “Good heavens, not only your trust fund.”
He laughed, low and deep, and his head descended closer to mine. “I’m serious, Laney. If I have to, I would give it all up for you. If the past twenty-four hours have taught me anything, it’s that you’re the only thing I can’t live without.”
“Keep talking like that and you might get lucky tonight.”
“I already have,” he said, quickly adding, “I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. I got lucky when you decided to hear me out. I didn’t fuck?—”
“I know, Sterling. You’re many things, but a cheater isn’t one of them.” I ran my fingertips along his jawline and kept my gaze on his even as his forehead came down to mine. “I love you too, you know.”
As I said the words, he went completely still. His lips parted and his fingers flexed against my skin, but other than that, the only movement I felt from him was the hammering of his heart against my chest. “Say it again.”
A demand. A plea. But not a request.
“I love you,” I repeated simply, feeling my own heart skip this time. “I’ve known for a while now, but I didn’t want to say anything. I wasn’t even sure I had the right to.”
“Neither did I,” he confessed in a breathy whisper. “I’m so fucking sorry, Laney. I should’ve told you that my father had tacked conditions onto my inheritance. I should’ve told you?—”
I silenced him by pressing my fingers to his lips, then replaced them with my mouth and kissed him deeply, letting my body do the talking for me.
After everything, I was so , so tired of talk.
It was necessary and I knew we were going to have to do a lot of it in the following days, but not right now.
My insides were still scraped raw and my chest was still aching, even if it was also fuller than I remembered it ever being before. I felt like I’d been in an emotional washer all day and all night, being thrown from one side to the other and then spun until I didn’t know which way was up.
Sterling really had become the center of my universe, for better or for worse, and right then, I just wanted to be with him. No more talking or heavy stuff. Just pleasure and joy, love and togetherness.
I stroked my fingers into his hair and murmured into his furious, hungry kisses. “I love you, Sterling Westwood.”
He groaned, lifting me clean off my feet and setting me down on the back of the couch. Stepping closer until he was pressed against me, he kissed me harder and deeper, almost like he was right on the edge of losing control before we’d really even started.
“I’m so sorry, Laney. I love you. I’m so sorry.” With every broken, breathy word, I felt him roll his hips against me, lighting a fire within me that I knew only he could quench. “I love you, baby. I’m going to give you a proper wedding. A white dress. A?—”
A low, desperately needy groan fell out of him that reminded me of that choked, broken way he’d been speaking when he asked me to come home with him at the block party. I deepened our kiss again before I broke it abruptly.
“I don’t need a proper wedding or a white dress. I only need you.”
His hips twitched, slamming into me and staying put, pressed hard against me for a moment. “God, Laney. I can’t… I’m so fucking close to…”
As he trailed off again, he drew in a sharp, deep breath and I pulled away just slightly, tightening my grip on his hair as he groaned out a protest. “What’s going on, Sterling? You can’t what?”
His eyebrows drew closer together and he exhaled sharply. “I almost lost you, Laney. That can’t happen. I can’t go back to what I was before I met you. I didn’t know what I was missing then, but I do now.”
“You didn’t lose me, though,” I whispered reassuringly. “I just needed some time to process. To figure out if I even had a reason to be upset when I came into this knowing?—”
“Knowing that I was full of shit and a complete asshole for proposing to you the way I did?”
“No.” I smiled, though. “It’s good to know you’ve realized that, but what we have is real now, isn’t it?”
“So fucking real,” he breathed with his forehead pressed as tightly to mine as his hips. “I can’t take it though, Laney. I need to know that you’re mine and that it’s because you want to be. No more contracts or shares or?—”
“I’m yours.” I cut him off because I really didn’t need to hear anymore. “Tear up the contract if you want to and I’ll still be yours. My heart. My flabby stomach. My pussy. My soul.”
He groaned. “I’ll take all of the above.”
“That’s my husband,” I joked, then brought my hands up to his tie and undid it the rest of the way.
As it fluttered to the floor, I got started on his buttons and pushed his shirt off his shoulders, feeling him kick off his shoes before I shoved his pants and underwear down.
I felt the heat of him radiating against my hand before I’d even touched him and suddenly my heart was beating an uneven rhythm in my chest. “Shit, Sterling. Did you?—”
“Almost, but no. I told you, Laney. I’m yours,” he said hoarsely. “All the way. You own me. You own my pleasure and my pain. My heart and my soul, so yeah. I almost came when you told me you only needed me, but I won’t. Not unless you want me to.”
A soft moan tore out of me at the admission and I acted on instinct, kicking off my sneakers and lifting my hips for him to tug down my pants.
My shirt followed quickly after, but instead of thrusting into me right there on the couch, he took me upstairs to our bedroom and buried his face between my legs.
I was burning for him, but he took his time with me and licked up and down through my folds. He teased at my entrance with his fingers and circled my clit with his thumb, contented humming coming from the back of his throat.
Bucking my hips, I tried to get him to sink his fingers into me. Lick me where I needed him. Anything. But it was almost like he was in a trance, just savoring the moment until I finally tugged at his shoulders and rolled him back onto the bed when he moved up.
His gaze caught on mine as I climbed astride him. For the first time ever, I caught a flash of vulnerability in his eyes. Something indecipherable passed between us, heavy, real, and undeniable. He grabbed my hips and took control, slamming me down on him and roaring when he was fully seated.
His lips parted, his gorgeous features twisting as he looked up at me. “I’m going to?—”
“Let go,” I whispered, taking his face in my hands and kissing him. “I love you, Sterling. You don’t have to put up a front with me anymore. You don’t have to wait for me or for my permission. You can just let go.”
A moment later, he swelled deep inside me and writhed as he emptied himself, but he didn’t withdraw or put an end to anything.
Instead, he flipped me onto my back in turn and spent an indeterminable amount of time making me see stars and hear the angels sing.
All the while, he whispered how much he loved me and told me all the things he wanted us to do together. I wanted it all too—and so much more.
Eventually, curled up together with my head on his shoulders and our hands joined on his chest, he stroked his thumb along my knuckles and kissed the top of my head. “Can we take a few days and finish our Napa trip?”
“Yes, please,” I agreed wholeheartedly, knowing that we needed the time and the space to figure out how to move forward from here, but selfishly, I also just wasn’t ready to share him with the world again yet.
Sterling Westwood and I had come to an agreement to be married for one year, but that was never going to be enough for me. I wanted him for life and I needed him to know that it wasn’t just about shares for me anymore either.