5. Sawyer #4
“So what you gonna do? You going back to Brazil? Gonna apply for dual citizenship and make some more babies? Because I wouldn’t blame you if you did,” Brit acknowledged. “Plus, it gives us a reason to come visit.”
“She’s right. I mean, you kinda owe us a vacay at this point anyway, the way you had us in here snatching out our edges a few minutes ago.”
Brit bobbed her head. “And I’ve definitely got room for more stamps on my passport.”
“Um, question. Do you love this man, Sawyer? Because we’ve not even tapped into the fact that you traveled to a whole other country for this nigga just to tell him you kept his oops baby.”
“Sho’ did,” Brit agreed before turning her glass up to her lips.
I rolled my eyes skyward as a groan slipped from my lips. “I know, but I felt obligated to go once he sent me the ticket.”
“Can we get back to the part where you skipped over my question about whether you love him?”
“I mean, I don’t know. It’s not like we really know each other, but I can’t lie and say I don’t feel things for him.”
“Is it him or the D? And if you say the D, I’ma smack you. Hopefully it’ll snap you out of your dickmatized state,” Neesh said, drawing back her hand.
“Ugh. I swear I never wanna be that dick dizzy over a nigga ever again. I’ve got PTSD just looking at you.
I’ll take the mediocre dick over the Grand Slam any day of the week.
Mediocre dick keeps you humble. Grand Slam dick will have you waiting in a nigga’s bushes outside his house at three in the morning in the rain,” Bri mumbled, seemingly getting swallowed up by her own thoughts for a second.
Neesh cocked her head to the side. “That was oddly specific.”
Brit shrugged. “I speak from experience.”
“Shit, at this point, I’m about to sign you up for Love After Lockup, ” Neesh suggested.
Brit smacked her lips. “How you gon’ do that when he on the run, dummy? He obviously doesn’t wanna go back there, hence the reason he’s probably becoming one with the animals in the Amazon Rainforest now.”
Neesh tossed up her hands. “Not you turning Sawyer’s baby daddy into Tarzan. But hey, I never claimed to be the smartest one in the group. That was supposed to be her,” she explained while aiming her pointer finger straight at me.
Brit twisted her neck toward me. “She’s right. You were supposed to be the smart one out of the trio.”
I sighed. I knew they’d have questions and strong feelings about my secret, but their reactions were the main reason I kept it to myself from the beginning. “Ugh. I know. Again, it’s not like we meant for any of this to happen, but I at least thought y’all would be supportive.”
“Just because we think you’re stupid as hell doesn’t mean we don’t support you. We would’ve stood ten toes down with you even if you said your baby daddy was a one-eyed ogre named Samuel,” Neesh explained.
“For real. You’re our girl, Sawyer. Ain’t nothing ever gonna change about that,” Brit added. “We’re excited about your pregnancy, and we want to celebrate it, but also . . . we wouldn’t be your true girls if we didn’t ask you what the fuck you’re gonna do.”
Neesh nodded in agreement. “Seriously, friend. Because adulthood is coming at you quick, bitch, and I need to know if we’re going on the run with my little niece or nephew or if we’re flying to Brazil for the baby’s first birthday. What’s the plan, girl? We know you’ve thought about it.”
I sighed. “I have, but I’ve been coming up short ever since I came back from Brazil. I don’t know what I expected him to say, but it wasn’t him asking me to give up everything I know and move out there. He threw me for a loop with that shit.”
“I bet it did,” Neesh agreed.
“I wanted him to know about the baby. He deserved to know, right?”
Brit spoke up. “Of course, he did. You did the right thing by telling him.”
I nodded, grateful for Brit’s reassurance. “Thanks. I wish I’d left on better terms. That way, it would feel more like a period at the end of a sentence instead of a question mark, y’ know?”
“If things were different, meaning he wasn’t a felon and wasn’t on the run, would you want to be with him? Could you see yourself raising a child with him?” Brit inquired.
“Oooh, that’s a good question,” Neesh added with a nod of approval.
My insides twisted at the thought of it.
It wasn’t like the idea of us being a real family hadn’t crossed my mind.
I didn’t want to be the only one up to my knees in shitty diapers and sleepless nights.
I wanted a partner in parenthood. I wanted a companion, a copilot, something.
I just didn’t know how to get it, given the cards we’d been dealt.
My lips parted to speak. “I would consider it.”
“Aht, aht! Try again. I don’t want your guarded answer. I want the real one,” Brit replied, folding her arms across her busty chest.
“Fine. Yes. Maybe. I don’t know. I can’t live in the world of what ifs and if this then that. It is what it is between me and Kareem. All that matters is the baby girl we created,” I stated, revealing the gender.
Both of my friends immediately started to squeal at the news that they were going to be aunties to a little girl.
“Hot damn! Auntie Neesh is about to start looking up baby names that start with the letter K right the fuck now,” Neesh commented before pulling out her phone to Google baby names.
“You said this happened around the Fourth of July, right?So, that means baby girl will arrive around . . . springtime?” Brit estimated.
I confirmed with a nod. “Yeah, my OB says anywhere between March twenty-seventh to early April.”
“That’s right around spring break time. This means I need to be prepared to take off work for at least a week,” Kaneesha proposed.
Brit agreed. “Me too. Maybe we can alternate weeks so that she has coverage for longer.”
“Yeah, that’s a good idea.”
Brit cheesed from ear to ear while reaching out to touch my belly. “See! Look at us coming up with plans for our girl and our niecey-pooh!”
Hearing them ramble on and on about everything from baby shower themes to baby names from A-Z felt like a warm hug in the middle of such a lonely season.
It gave me the reassurance I needed that even though I wouldn’t have Kareem by my side, I wouldn’t be alone, because my girls would never let me fall.
They gathered around me on the gray sectional and wrapped their arms around me for a group hug. Emotion swelled behind my eyes, instantly smudging my mascara through the tears.
“We need a movie night—something nostalgic and funny like White Chicks or Next Friday . And we need popcorn to go along with the pie,” I suggested.
“Whatever baby Petunia wants, baby Petunia gets,” Neesh said sweetly while rubbing my belly.
My brows lurched toward my hairline. “Baby who?”
Neesh shrugged. “What? You don’t like that name?”
“Leave that right where you found it, or you’re gonna be banned from giving wack ass baby name suggestions,” I warned.
Brit grabbed her keys. “There’s a gas station with a convenience store not far from here that might still be open. We could try it.”
“Cool, but let’s make it quick because I think I’m almost ready for my second helping of pie.” Neesh giggled.
We piled into Brit’s car, cracked the windows to let in the cool November breeze, and let the music blast. The streets were quiet, except for the occasional car or two that passed by.
I figured most people were inside four walls with their friends or families like we were, sitting on a couch in a food coma or watching the football game.
At the store, we stocked up like the apocalypse was upon us with different popcorn flavors, sour gummies, a pint of cookies and cream ice cream, and a pricey bottle of rosé for the aunties-to-be.
A man held the door open for us as we were walking out. I didn’t look up until Brit thanked him, and I heard his response. His voice was oddly familiar. We traded glances for a split second, and my spine chilled. It was King, Kareem and Kadeem’s cousin who lived in Tampa. What a small world.
I shifted back to Kaneesha and Britney. “I’ll meet y’all at the car, okay?”
“What? Why? Where are you going?” Neesh inquired.
“I’ll be right back. I forgot to get something in the store,” I replied before following King back inside.
I watched him from afar for a few seconds before mustering the courage to approach him. “Excuse me,” I called out to him. “King?”
His neck swiveled in my direction at the sound of his name, and he looked me up and down. “Sawyer?”
“Yeah. Hey. I wasn’t sure if you remembered me or not. And Happy Thanksgiving, by the way.”
“Thanks, same to you. And yeah, I remember. What are you doing back out here?”
“One of my best friends lives out here, so we came to celebrate the holiday and eat at her place this year,” I acknowledged, absentmindedly placing my hand over my belly.
“Congrats, by the way,” he said, eyeing my stomach.
I nodded, unsure whether I needed to clarify that the baby was Kareem’s. “Oh, uh, thanks. It was, um, unexpected, but hey, that’s life, right?”
“Yeah. That’s life.”
“Well, you take care,” I replied, awkwardly ending the conversation.
“Yeah, you too.”
I turned to leave the aisle, but then I abruptly spun back. “I know I probably shouldn’t even be asking you this, but . . . have you heard from or talked to him lately?”
He looked over his shoulder before responding. “I have.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. “H-how is he doing?”
King twisted his lips to the side as if he was going to war with himself on whether to associate with me or leave me standing in the short aisle alone. “I probably shouldn’t even be telling you this,” he mumbled before stepping closer to me. “But I think you should go home.”
My brows downturned. “What? Why?”
“He came back to the States.”
I froze momentarily before dropping back a step. “F-for what?” I probed in a shaky voice.
“For you. For y’all,” he responded, pointing to my belly.
My heart somersaulted inside my chest as my breath hitched.“Back to the States?” I mumbled.
I didn’t know how to feel about the news King had delivered to me.
Never in a million years did I consider Kareem coming back to America and what that would mean for him or us.
The authorities had called off the search and assumed he and Kadeem had died.
Now he’d be back from the dead. I headed back to the car, where my friends were waiting for me.
It was time to tell my girls there was a change of plans. I had to get home.