33 Ginger
33
Ginger
I swallowed, trying to dissolve the knot in my throat. But no luck. Because he was leaving. Because I knew the memory of last night would soon feel distant. And it wouldn’t be enough. And I couldn’t stop looking at him, every inch of him, as he dragged his two suitcases. His firm steps. How little he hesitated. His hair uncombed, exactly as it had been this morning, when I kissed him on the neck as he slept and he smiled before opening his eyes…
He stopped as he reached security. He turned back to look at me, sighed, and seemed a little sad. His eyes were bright and were staring straight into mine…
“I guess this is goodbye,” he managed to say. Then he smiled and bit his lower lip.
“You said that to me before. Almost a year ago.”
“I know. I’m super original…”
“Come here.”
He pulled me close and hugged me.
What would it be like to stay there forever, sheltered in his arms? I asked myself that, pressing my face into his chest until he pushed me away softly. For a moment, I thought I’d burst into tears if I looked at him again. And there was no reason to. I didn’t even expect this visit. I didn’t expect anything. And yet he’d come…
He grabbed my chin and lifted my face.
“Hey, Ginger Snap, what is it? Come on, look at me.”
“It makes me sad that you’re going. I know it shouldn’t…”
The words were silenced as his lips crashed into mine. The kiss tasted like something. I don’t know what. Like goodbyes. But also like something sweet and pretty. Like one of the many paragraph breaks in our lives, the ones we hadn’t even started to count yet.
I held my breath when we separated.
I saw his expression. His desire. His doubts.
He bent over. His mouth touched my lips.
“Don’t wait for me, Ginger.”
Five words. Five words that pierced me. That hurt. But I understood. That was the last thing Rhys said to me that cold morning before turning around and walking away. I stayed there a few seconds watching him as he waited at the back of the line. Then I turned around too and walked off without looking back.