38 Rhys
38
Rhys
My eyes flew open. My phone was ringing. My phone…it should have been on the nightstand, but I couldn’t find it. I got out of bed and crouched down to pick it up off the floor. I must have unintentionally thrown it down on the first ring. I squinted and saw it was Ginger.
Ginger…calling me…
My heart sped up.
“Hey?” she whispered. “Hey,” she repeated. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry for calling… Oh, Rhys, I just realized the time difference. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it. It was just…an impulse. I woke you up, didn’t I? Sorry.”
“It’s fine. Is everything okay?”
I looked over my shoulder at the girl sleeping in my bed and slipped away, barefoot and shirtless. I started walking. First down the porch’s wooden steps, then onto the warm sand and toward the sea.
“Yeah, everything’s okay. Sorry, I can’t talk very loud. James is asleep. I’m just nervous. I don’t know why, I felt like calling you.”
“Did he do something to you? What is it, Ginger?”
“No, no. It’s nothing like that. It’s just, I don’t really know what to do now. I mean, I can’t sleep. Not with him. It’s impossible. Believe me, I tried. It’s not just that he snores; it’s that I keep tossing and turning and I feel weird here.”
I sat on the sand. The sun had just started coming up. Soft light was swelling on the horizon, but the sky was dark. Cloudless. I took a deep breath and concentrated on the sound of her voice, the way she pronounced her words in the English accent that I loved, even though it made her sound stiff. I tried to think of anything but touching her, kissing her, sinking inside her…
“You want to go, right?” I guessed.
“Yeah,” she confessed. And she whispered, “I just felt so many things all at once. I need to be alone to process everything, you know? And I need my bed.”
I remembered how she fell asleep in my arms at the end of December…
“Well, you should do it then.”
“But I don’t want him to get mad.”
“I see…”
“He was really…considerate.”
“What does considerate mean?”
“You know. With everything.”
I could almost see her blushing. “Leave him a note. That’s the best option.”
“Yeah, that sounds good, right? Like Thanks for last night, James. Call you tomorrow. No one would get mad at that, would they?”
“No, and if he does, he’s an idiot. So that way you’ll know.”
“Okay. I think I have a piece of paper in my purse.”
“Do you have your clothes nearby?”
“Almost all of them.”
I could barely hear her. “What does that mean?” I held my breath.
“Don’t make me say it out loud…”
“No fucking way. You lost your panties?”
“Rhys! Dammit! You’re going to make me wake him up.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. I did it loudly, amused, and fell back in the sand, sighing as I gripped the phone to my ear, staring up at the slowly brightening sky. I could hear her mumbling protests.
“I’ve looked everywhere, and they’re not here. I took my dress and my tights off downstairs when we were on the sofa after dinner, but the rest of the stuff is in his bedroom, where he is now. It’s totally dark in there; I can’t see a thing. I’ve run my hands all over the floor, and there’s nothing there. What do I do?”
“I don’t really see the problem. You’ve got tights and a dress. It’s fine.”
“Very funny, Rhys. I wish I could cry.”
I tried not to laugh. I wanted to hug her just then. “Let’s focus on what to do now. Put on what you have. Look in your purse for a piece of paper, and write him a note. I’d leave it in the kitchen by the coffee machine. That never fails.”
“I see you’re an expert.”
“Been there, done that, Ginger Snap.”
“Rhys, that sounds so…”
“Like a pro, right? Are you dressed yet?”
“Not like a pro, like a dirtbag, that’s what I meant. Yes. I’m dressed.”
“Okay. Where are you now?”
“In the bathroom on the second floor. I haven’t moved from here since I called. So I’m going to go downstairs and pray the steps don’t creak. I didn’t notice when we were coming up. Here I go.”
I heard her take a breath and start moving.
“All good?” I asked.
“Yeah, I’m in the kitchen now. Writing.”
“Add a little kiss mark.”
She clicked her tongue, but I think she listened to me. Then I heard steps again, and she didn’t say anything as she walked out the door. I think that’s what she was doing—I heard it close.
“There it is! I’m out, Rhys!”
“Now’s the part where he sees you from the window…”
She screeched and I laughed again. She was so…her.
“I’m going to see if I can find a taxi stand.”
“Be careful. It must be getting late there.”
“Yeah.” All I could hear was the echo of steps on the sidewalk. “Thanks for this, Rhys. I was getting a little nervous in there. I mean, I get that it shouldn’t be that hard to leave a note and go, but I felt…blocked. Trapped or something.”
I took a deep breath, feeling my chest rise and fall.
The murmur of the waves, her voice like a song…
“Was the night as good as you’d hoped?”
“I think so. I mean, yeah. Right, so I see a taxi stand, but there’s no one here. I don’t want to keep you on any longer, Rhys. You’ve done enough. I’ll write you tomorrow, okay?”
“No. Don’t hang up. I’ll wait with you.”
“There’s no need,” Ginger replied.
“It’ll make me feel better.”
“As you wish…” she sighed.
“So it was as good as you’d hoped.”
“I guess. Different from Dean. I mean, James is more…intense.”
“Intense…” I squeezed the phone.
“I guess he has more experience. But…” She lowered her voice. “Taking off my clothes in front of another person was weird. You know what it’s like when you’ve gone out with a person so long that you don’t look at them or touch them the way you did in the beginning when everything was new? I mean, probably you don’t, because you’ve never been in a serious relationship, but it’s a bit like that. Routine. Doing something from inertia.”
“What do you mean?”
“Just that everything was different. The way his skin felt. How we kissed. How he touched me. Is that what it always feels like for you, Rhys? Meeting one person and then another…”
“I never stopped to think about it.”
“Well, try and imagine it. You’ve been going out with someone for years, and you’ve memorized every detail of them, every freckle, every mark. I don’t know. It’s weird to touch a body you know nothing about and still enjoy it. Like you’re flying blind. Whatever, forget it.”
“I think I understand. Pretty much.”
We said nothing else until I heard her get up.
“There’s my taxi. I’m hanging up. Thanks, Rhys.”
“No worries. Good night, Ginger.”
A car door closed, and she hung up. I sighed, lying on the sand, thinking of everything…of the night Ginger had had, the night I’d had, as if it was a parallel reality… The times I’d imagined what fucking her would be like, making her laugh, making her be a different person. One who understood herself and let others understand her. Someone different. Better.
I sat up slightly and watched a couple surfing in the distance, as though welcoming the new day. Then I got up. I turned my back to the dawn and returned home without looking up. Thinking of her the whole time. At least until I got to the room and saw Tracy sleeping in the sheets. I put my phone on the nightstand and lay down beside her. I closed my eyes. I felt her arm wrap around my waist, and I squeezed into her, seeking the warmth of a body I barely knew but made me feel less alone, gave me the fleeting sensation that I was close to someone, that I had an anchor, if only for the moment.