Chapter 25 – Zane
twenty-five
Zane
I sit across from Jaxon on the couch, watching him try not to make eye contact with me.
The whole conversation guts me, to be honest. It’s one thing for the headlines to tell you that you aren’t fit for the job.
It’s one thing for your boss to shit on you and tell you that maybe you aren’t up to his standards.
It’s a whole different thing when one of the players, who is supposed to be standing with you, tells you that you might not be right for the job.
“Are you one of them?” I ask him the question and wait for his answer.
“No, I’m not one of them,” he answers as he shakes his head and looks down and then he looks back up—man-to-man, eye to eye. “But I’m also going to say that I’ve started to change my mind.”
“You think it was easy sitting up in the press box watching my team on the ice, knowing I couldn’t do anything?
” I let that linger in the air for a minute.
“Because let me fucking tell you, it was fucking hard to watch. It’s the same feeling you must get when you are in the box and not able to help your team.
” I stick him, knowing that is going to bug him.
“You think because you guys won one game when I wasn’t behind the bench that it means I’m not good for the job? ” I ask him.
“It’s more than that and you know it.”
“Is it?” I ask him, getting pissed now. Hurt still lingers there under the surface because I thought we were friends.
“What does it say about you?” I ask him.
“You’re captain of this team,” I point out.
“You are supposed to lead the team.” His jaw gets tight.
“I don’t see that happening. You see cracks in the foundation just as me. ”
“Now, wait just a minute.”
“Not such a good feeling, having something like that thrown in your face.” He doesn’t say anything.
“I’ve had people telling me from day one that I shouldn’t be in this position.
That I shouldn’t have gotten the job. I started this fucking job with two strikes already on my back.
One, that I was the youngest one out there and two, people didn’t think I could do the job.
” The statement shocks him. “Yeah, so I’ve been dealing with trying to prove them all wrong, while trying to guide a group of men to play to their best ability.
What have you done? These guys”—I put my elbows on my knees—“some of the best guys I’ve seen on the ice.
Best rookies I’ve ever seen play. I can only help steer them, but you—” I point to him.
“You need to lead them on that ice. You want to point the finger at me and blame me?” I shrug.
“Maybe you’re right, maybe I’m not good for the job.
Maybe there are other people out there more qualified.
But I’m here and I’m going to fucking fight to stay here.
What are you going to do? Tell me, what are you going to do?
” I wait a second to see if he will answer me, but he doesn’t.
“Or better yet, if you were me, what would you do? Would you just bow your head and walk away, or would you stay and fight?” He opens his mouth.
“If you tell me you would bow your head and walk away, that’s a fucking lie. ”
“I was going to say I would stay and fight,” he admits.
“But you want me to pack it up and move on.” I point to myself and shake my head.
“Well, I’m not going to do it. I might not be the right man for the job,” my voice gets tight, “but it’s my job for however long they let me have it.
I’m asking you to fucking work with me.” He doesn’t say anything.
“Something is going on in that locker room, and I don’t know what it is. ”
“You.” He points to me. “You are what’s going on.”
“No.” I shake my head. “It’s not me. It might be about me, but it’s not me. There is a divide and one side is working with me and one side is working against me. I don’t know who is on either side.” He raises his eyebrows. “What side are you on?”
“I’m on the team’s side,” he snaps.
“Then find out what the fuck is going on and lead the fucking team.” He gets up, his eyes in slits as he turns to walk out of the room. “And try not to fuck it up by taking penalties.” I try to hide the smirk. “I need you on the ice and not in the box.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Coach,” he says and I nod at him.
“Unless I get fired tonight,” I sigh and he walks out of the house, and the sound of the front door slamming has me exhaling in relief.
I wait a full two minutes before I get up and walk to the front door, locking it and then looking outside. “He’s gone,” I call loud enough that she can hear me and come out of her hiding spot.
I walk over to the kitchen and open the top cabinet, grabbing the whiskey out of it and then pouring myself a glass.
I take the shot as she walks into the kitchen, putting the glass down on the island and then extending my hands to the sides, hanging my head.
“Well, that was something,” she says, walking over to me and standing beside me. “Are you okay?”
“No,” I admit. I look over at her and see her eyes are red. “But I’m going to be, I guess.” I raise a hand to cup her cheek. “How much of that did you hear?”
“I wasn’t locked in a soundproof room.” She tries to make me smile. “Pretty much all of it. I’m sorry.”
“For what?” I ask her, turning and leaning my hip into the counter.
“For my part in it,” she says, looking down, and I put my finger under her chin and lift it up so she’s looking at me.
“What the fuck are you talking about, Victoria?” I ask her, my heart hammering in my chest for a whole different reason.
“This is one of the reasons why you didn’t want to get involved, and I sort of pushed you.
” She grabs the glass of whiskey that I poured for myself and swallows down a gulp and then hisses.
“That’s disgusting,” she says, coughing.
“Why would you drink that?” She walks over to get a glass and then fills it with water.
She takes two full sips before she turns to me.
“You said you had to focus on work and your head had to be in the game.”
“I did.” I nod, waiting for her to get whatever it is she needs to get off her chest.
“And instead of just stepping back and letting you do what you needed to do, I was full of my awesomeness and I forced you into this.”
“Your awesomeness?” I try not to make a joke, but the grin comes out.
“Well, I pushed you too far and you snapped,” she says softly, “and maybe you were right.” My eyebrows pinch together.
“Are you breaking up with me?” I say, trying to remain calm.
“No, I’m just giving you an out,” she offers.
“You’re giving me an out.” I fold my arms over my chest. “What if I don’t want an out, Victoria?
” I turn it around and ask her the question.
“What if you are the best fucking thing that has happened to me in the clusterfuck that has been the last couple of months?” She just stares at me.
“What if you’re the one I’ve been waiting on my whole life, and you just walk out the door and I let you?
” Her eyes go big. “What would that say about me?”
“That you’re stupid,” she retorts. “I was trying to help.”
“By breaking up with me?” I shake my head and reach for the glass. “Wow.”
“Don’t you fucking wow me, Zane Lincoln Gilmore,” she barks, and I try to hide the smirk with the glass in front of me. “I’m trying not to put more pressure on you.”
“Then stop trying to break up with me. You are always walking away from me.”
“I’m going to walk away from you in less than a second if you don’t quit it,” she snaps at me.
I grip her hips and put her on the counter, where she was before her brother came in.
She opens her legs, letting me in, and I push her hair off her shoulder so I can have access to her neck.
“You,” I say, kissing her neck gently and she moves her shoulder up and her body shivers under my kiss, “are the only light in all of this. There is so much shit going on in the rest of my life that you are my saving grace.” I push the other side of her hair behind her as I kiss the other side of her neck.
“I’m sorry it’s not going to be all roses,” I tell her as she drapes her arms over my shoulders.
“I wish it was. I wish I wasn’t butting heads with your brother.
Wish my team was riding high the way they should be, and I really wish you weren’t here for that conversation. ”
Her hands move from my shoulder to my chest. “He was out of line,” she states softly. “If he wanted to say what he did, he should not have come to your house to do it.”
“It’s the only place where he felt comfortable doing it, without anyone listening,” I explain. “Well, there wasn’t anyone who was supposed to be listening.”
“I was this close,” she picks up her hand and holds her thumb and forefinger together, “to coming out swinging.” I tilt my head and kiss her, stopping her from speaking.
“Whatever happens with us, the last thing I want is for you to be in the middle.” I look at her and raise my hand to touch her cheek before palming it in my hand. “I will protect you at all costs.”
“My knight in shining armor.” She smiles big and I see the sadness that was in her eyes is now gone.
I know I did my part in putting it there, and then made sure I took it away.
I know it probably wasn’t easy for her to hear that conversation, and I wish she hadn’t, but now she knows where we all stand, I guess.
“You bet your ass,” I confirm, trying to shift the mood. “Now, what are we going to do tonight?”
“Well.” She sighs. “I was thinking we could maybe order some pizza. Then we could take a bath.”
“Is that what you want?” I ask her and she nods her head. “Do you want to do the bath before or after we eat?”
“Are you going to fuck me before or after we eat?” she counters my question with her own question.
“I was planning on doing both.” I pull her to me, my cock hard for her. “Maybe order the pizza, fuck you on the counter.”
“Yes.” She giggles. “I like the sound of that.”
“Then fuck you before we take a bath or fuck you after the bath.”
“I mean”—she looks up to the ceiling as if she’s thinking about it—“if you are really up for the challenge, you could probably do all three. Before, during, and after.” I throw my head back and for the first time in what feels like forever, I laugh, like hardcore belly laugh.
“I mean, if you think your heart can handle it.” She kisses under my jaw.
“I wouldn’t want to push you too far at your age.
I think we should be fitting you for a Life Alert alarm.
” She is fighting to not laugh. “You know, ‘I’ve fallen and I can’t get up, please help. ’”
“I wasn’t the one who couldn’t keep up the last time,” I remind her.
“That’s because I had to bury my face in a pillow so no one would hear me. I almost suffocated myself.” She quickly defends herself. “I told you it was too much.”
“No, you didn’t.” I chuckle. “I believe you said, ‘give me more, Zane,’” I repeat her exact words. “I want more,” I try to mimic her voice.
“We obviously aren’t even going to have sex once with that attitude,” she sasses and bites her lower lip to stop herself from talking.
“I’m going to need you to stop talking and save your breath.” I pull her shirt off her, leaving her in her white lace bra. “Better than that,” I pick her up off the counter, “I have something to fill your mouth.”
She gasps and I’m expecting her to push me away, but what I’m not expecting is for her to drop to her knees.
“I hope your heart can handle it,” she teases, unbuckling my pants, pushing them over my hips.
I watch her pull my cock out of my pants and take it to the back of her throat, the conversation now tabled.
We end up ordering pizza twenty minutes later, and eating it with her wearing my shirt, I wouldn’t trade it for all the wins in the world.