4. Omiri #3
“You’ve been handling things for her without me; so clearly you’re capable. This is not about what you can or can’t do. This is about what’s fair, and since she’s mine, I’m going to make sure she’s good.”
Money I could do without question. It was the other shit I wasn’t sure I was ready to sign on for.
“The money goes into a trust for Avi. It can be for her education and future.”
“You’re stubborn as shit,” I mumbled and she grilled the fuck out of me again.
“The money will go into a trust which you’ll both have access to. You can use it for anything relating to Avi, whenever needed. The account will be monitored by me,” Raaj stated and scribbled something down.
“Let’s negotiate a number.”
“Before we do that, add that I can buy her whatever I want whenever I want,” I chimed in.
“You don’t need permission to buy her things,” Makari said.
I laughed at that. “The way you been blocking every fucking thing I ask for, I’m not trying to risk it. Write that shit in the custody agreement, Raaj.”
“You’re childish.”
“And I’m in good company. Can we move on?”
Raaj took over and we moved through holiday schedules, discussions about how to deal with Avi’s medical decisions, and plans for how we would handle her education.
We argued over that too. She wanted public school and I wanted private.
This was my kid, and like it or not, she would be a target.
Private school cut down on the possibility of incidents.
Raaj handled everything in his usual no nonsense manner.
He made sure nothing was left to chance, which meant leaving me open.
Avi slept through the entire thing which was only God looking out for me because that meant I didn’t have to engage with her.
Then I would have been all in. She was beautiful as hell and I was trying hard not to want this or want her in my life.
A part of me felt like she could fix this darkness I had been stumbling through since I’d lost O’Rion but I also felt like I didn’t deserve to be in the light. All of it had me struggling.
“We need to discuss media.” Raaj’s voice pulled me from my head and Makari jerking her head back had me looking at her.
“There will be no media for Avi. At all. No pictures, interviews, or social media posts.”
“It will be damn near impossible to agree to that. Honestly, it’s not realistic. Mr. Hayes is a public figure. There will always be media attention surrounding his life.”
“No media,” I said and looked right at Makari then our daughter. “But all I can guarantee is no photos of her face and no details about her life will be shared unless Makari and I discuss it first. But it goes both ways. She can’t share anything about our daughter without my prior approval.”
“I can agree to that. All I want is her privacy protected,” Makari agreed.
I hated always having a camera in my face.
I damaged enough of them because of how much that shit annoyed me.
If I couldn’t handle it, there was no way a child could.
I wouldn’t do that to her. I knew it would be unrealistic to keep her identity hidden, it would leak eventually, but we could do our best to keep her life as private as possible.
“O, that’s not…”
“I said no media. We’ll figure it out. Put that shit in the contract.”
“You realize if even one picture gets out there of her, she can use that against you.”
“I won’t do that.” Raaj glared at her briefly before his eyes were on me.
“You sure about this?”
“Yeah, if she wants that included, put it in there.”
He sighed, clearly not liking this, but did what I asked.
“Thank you.”
I tossed my chin and she kissed the top of Avi’s head. Raaj made a few more notes then collected all the papers. “I’ll pull this together and have it formally sent out to both of you to review. Once the paternity is confirmed, we can finalize everything by the end of the week.”
I got up to walk him out, and as soon as we were out the door, he was on my ass. “You’re thinking with your dick, O.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“It means you want to fuck your daughter’s mother more than you want to be a father.”
“The fuck, Raaj? I’m not lacking with pussy.”
“No, you’re not. With all the NDAs that move across my desk for you, I’m well aware of how many women you have in and out of your bed, whether I care to know that much about you or not. How about we stick to what you’ve been doing instead of what’s in there. That shit is going to end badly.”
“Me being a father is going to end badly?”
“Yes, it will if you put your dick in that woman again. You’ve given her everything she needs to cash in.”
“That’s not going to happen.” I honestly didn’t believe Makari was on a paper chase, but if she was… “And if it comes to that, you’re going to make sure I’m good. I’m not worried.”
He laughed arrogantly. “I can’t fix everything, O. Especially when you’re working against me. I hope you know what you’re doing.”
I didn’t and he also wasn’t convinced based on the way he just stared at me.
“The fuck you looking at me like that for?”
“How are you?”
I frowned hard and he sighed, rolling his shoulders back before his eyes moved over my face intently. “You sleeping?”
No…
Raaj wasn’t just my attorney. He was also a friend. Unlike the other people who played a role in managing my career, and by default my life, I wasn’t just a check with Raaj.
“Yeah, I’m good.”
“Are you?” The concern was all over his face even though he kept his tone void of the accusations I could not only see in his eyes but felt weighted in his mood.
“I said I’m good.”
“You been to see Dr. Shore like I suggested…”
He left the question open ended but I filled that shit in. The anniversary is close.
The anniversary of when my world spiraled.
I never wanted kids. Raaj of all people knew that more than anyone based on the number of drafted legal threats he delivered to women who thought I would play that game with them.
Now here I was, demanding custody for a kid I didn’t know about, from a woman who was trying with everything in her limited arsenal to keep me detached from her or my daughter.
Raaj was smart and he knew me well. There was not a damn chance he wasn’t making assumptions about why I was pushing so hard for this.
The past month I had been more than reckless with my behavior and it was only going to get progressively worse.
He had every right to question this dumb shit I was doing.
“No, but I said I’m good, I don’t need to talk to anyone.”
“Maybe you should...”
“Maybe you should focus on legal shit instead of trying to shrink me.”
“I’m trying to prevent more legal shit from landing on my desk. Why don’t we sit on this for a minute…”
I glared at him. “Whether we do this now or wait until I wake up the day after the anniversary of losing O’Rion doesn’t matter. She’s still going to be my kid, Raaj. I can’t do shit about that.”
“You’re right, if she’s yours today, she’ll be yours tomorrow. But the reason you want to acknowledge that she is damn sure might matter. Once you make this official, you can’t back out of it. Maybe we should…”
“You’re my attorney, not my shrink, finalize the paperwork.”
He narrowed his eyes, offered a tight nod, and walked away.
He saw right through my shit but I wasn’t about to admit that he was right, so I let him go.
When I was back inside, Makari was in the living room strapping the carrier on.
Avi was lying on her back up against the rear of the sofa, still asleep, but Makari stood guard.
“I appreciate you working with me on all this.”
“Don’t thank me. It’s not like I had a choice.”
I laughed because she was mad as hell. She hated being under my control and that low key had me smiling.
“You had a choice, just not one that would have gotten you what you wanted.”
“You don’t know what I want.”
“You want me out of your life and hers.”
“Okay, maybe you’re not as self absorbed as I thought. You pay attention to wants and needs other than your own.”
“How you think I’m self-absorbed?”
“This is all about your ego, Omiri. You’re only pushing for custody because I don’t want you in her life.”
“Yeah, you’re right, that’s a big part of it because I don’t understand why you’re fighting me so hard for this.”
“We went over this already.”
“We didn’t go over a damn thing. You told me all the stuff you think you know about me and decided that shit was law.
That isn’t me, baby girl. Just situations in my life.
I’m a little reckless at times, I’ll own that, but me being reckless isn’t new.
” I walked up on her and dropped my chin.
“I was reckless when you let me suck on your pussy and I damn sure was reckless when I had you bouncing on my dick. I was good enough then but not now?”
“That was me . I’m an adult. This is about Avi. She’s a defenseless child.”
“ My child. Like it or not, she’s mine too. I’m her father, which means I have the right to be in her life and you’re gonna stop fucking judging me based on what you think you know, ’cause you don’t know.”
She gritted her jaw then relaxed her shoulders like she was choosing not to engage with me. Good, I was ready to step behind this. I was tired of her telling me I wasn’t shit or not good enough to be a father to my daughter.
“I’m just trying to do what’s best for her.”
“And you think I’m not?”
“I think you’re stuck between doing what’s right and doing what you truly want.”
Why the hell did I feel like she could see right through my intentions? I didn’t like that shit.
“Regardless of what you think, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”
“Unfortunately, I believe you.”
She turned to the sofa, carefully lifted Avi, and gently worked her into the carrier. “I should probably go.”
“Aight, I’ll hit you up once we get everything back.
” I walked her to the door and we stood there looking crazy until she sighed then rubbed Avi’s back through the carrier.
I dropped my eyes, watching her for a minute.
Makari loved this little girl. There wasn’t a moment when she wasn’t showing her attention or loving on her and I felt their bond.
That lowkey made me angry at Makari for stealing this from me, made me jealous that they loved each other and had me confused as hell as to why I cared.
“I know you think I don’t want you in her life?—”
“I don’t think a gotdamn thing. You’ve said that shit more times than I wanted to fucking hear.”
She rolled her eyes. “What I mean is, I want Avi to have her father, but only if you can love her like I do. She’s so perfect and deserves that kind of love from everyone in her life.
If you can’t give her that, then please don’t make my baby pay the price of your ego making decisions over your logic. ”
Before I could formulate a response, Makari bounced and the door closed behind her. I was glad she was gone before I could tell her it wasn’t my ego. I was forcing this because of some fucked up obligation I felt to live the life that he wasn’t going to have… because of me.