20. Omiri #2
Half of the team was there but it was quiet as hell because most of them were barely functional. This shit wasn’t for the weak, and after years of being in the rotation, I still loved it.
“Hayes.” Moses walked up and dropped his bag on the bench next to where I was sitting.
“What’s good, Mo.” He grinned. “You see this. Their dumb asses were at Black Diamonds last night turning up.”
“You went?”
“Hell nah. I know better. You know your boy was there though.”
“Land?”
“Hell yeah but he’s built for being up all night and hitting the field the next day. His ass is a functioning alcoholic.” Moses chuckled.
“I hope they weren’t trying to keep up with him.”
“You see them dragging. They damn sure were.”
“It’s about to be a long ass practice.” I brushed a hand over my head, looking around the locker room, seeing everyone with different eyes. They weren’t quiet because it was early. They were quiet because they were hung over.
“Yeah it is, but ay, did you holla at your girl about going to Turks?”
I nodded. “We’re down. She said she’s cool with it.”
“Aight, bet. We have a week before training camp; so we can do it then. Should be eight of us.”
“Eight for what?” Ryland came walking in looking well rested and not like he’d been turning up last night.
“Turks.”
“Shit, I’m down.” He dropped his bag on a bench across from me on the other side of the locker room.
“It’s couples, fam. That’s not your thing.”
“I’m still going. I have a few on my list I can tolerate for a weekend.”
“Bruh, that’s not how it works. We’re not trying to have our weekend messed up because you can’t keep your dick under control.”
He grinned. “I know how to behave.”
“I’ll let you handle that.” Mo shook his head. “I’ll book the villa and send you the dates.”
He walked off and I thought about something. “Ay, you said eight, who all is going?”
“Just us, Zina and Moses, and I think he invited Sam and Layla.”
“Aight.”
I would run that shit by Makari. She wasn’t fucking with Layla like that.
“Damn, I might have to sit this one out,” Ryland said after Moses walked away and I removed the tape for my wrist from my locker.
“Why?”
“You know I fucked Layla.”
“Bruh, are you serious?”
“I mean shit, she was willing and who am I to turn down a willing participant?”
“You ain’t shit and if he finds out and beats your ass, you deserved it.”
“I wish the fuck he would. That nigga be in the cut with me. I know half the women he’s fucking with.”
“Y’all keep that shit off the field.”
“Let’s go, fellas. You got ten minutes to be dressed and ready to go. Get your asses in gear,” Coach Williams yelled from the entrance to the locker room then turned to leave.
“You know you’re about to have all of them running today.”
I wrapped the tape around my wrists and ripped it with my teeth.
“Shit, that’s on them. They need to know their limits.” He turned to change into his practice gear and I chuckled, tossing my bag into the bottom of my locker. I headed out of the locker room mentally preparing myself for the next few hours.
My car felt like heaven when I dropped down in the driver’s seat after tossing my practice bag next to me.
All I wanted to do at this point was take my ass home, kiss my baby girl, and lay out under Makari.
The thought brought a smile to my face because my life had damn sure done a one-eighty since last year.
As soon as I had my phone in hand, I knew the universe was trying to remind me that shit wasn’t sweet though because my mother’s name showed up on the screen, causing me to feel annoyed.
I hadn’t talked to her in over a year and the only reason she reached out then was to demand that I handle a situation with my father.
He was drunk at the crib, showing his ass because she refused to cook him dinner and she wanted him out of the house.
This was how they got down. He drank too much, they argued, she threw him out and he ultimately sweet talked his way back home and into her bed.
I loved my mother but couldn’t deal with her for multiple reasons.
He was one of them but the way she hated me because O’Rion had died was at the top of that list.
I had my own demons. Deep down inside I knew his death wasn’t on me, regardless of how I blamed myself, but for a mother to cast out one son for the other was a different kind of pain.
I had dealt with that shit since the day my brother was born, but after he was gone, it was a different kind of hurt.
She never actually said the words but she didn’t have to.
The day of his funeral she told me I broke her heart then walked off, but shit, she broke mine long before that.
I hit ignore but she called back, so I got concerned, praying nothing had happened to my pops.
Makari asked why I kept showing up for him and I hated to admit that I showed up because no matter how twisted our bond was, he was the only one who showed me any kind of love, even if it was conditional.
When things were good, they were good. However, when he was drinking, that was an entirely different story.
“Yeah…” My tone was clipped when I answered but I didn’t give a damn. She didn’t deserve my kindness. She refused to give me hers; I damn sure wasn’t returning the favor.
“Your brother’s headstone needs to be replaced.”
I frowned, dropping my head back against the seat.
“What are you talking about?”
“I went to see him today and it’s ruined. Some kids went through there vandalizing the cemetery and there’s paint all over my baby’s grave. It’s chipped too. They used hammers to destroy the headstones and I refuse to have my baby resting that way.”
The fuck…
This woman couldn’t pick up the phone to ask how I was doing, call to tell me she loved me, happy birthday, Merry fucking Christmas, or hell, even I hate you and wish it was you and not him. But she could call and demand for me to do something for her…
Because it wasn’t for her, it was for O’Rion, and she knew I wouldn’t deny her if it was connected to him.
“They just fuck with his?”
The conversation I had with Kyon pushed through my mind.
Destroying my brother’s grave could have been a way of sending a message.
There was no way Ky would let this come back to me but that didn’t mean that ol’ boy who’d pulled up on O’Rion that night didn’t run his mouth before Ky got to him.
Niggas talked, and they knew who my brother was.
“No, they damaged several graves but I’m not concerned with those others, just my baby. You need to replace it.”
“You’re so fucking stubborn that you can’t even ask. You’re telling me what I need to do.”
“Because you owe me. It’s the least you can do.”
“Why do I owe you? Why won’t you just say it? I know it’s how you feel but you refuse to say the words, just do that shit. Get it off your chest.”
She was quiet and I shook my head, assuming she wouldn’t. I was surprised when she said the words after all this time.
“Because it should have been you, not my baby. He should be here.”
All these years I’d assumed it would hurt more than it did, but truly hearing the words settled something in me. What I wanted from her I would never get, because she was fucked up in her head and heart.
“You know I’m yours too, right?”
She was quiet again so I kept talking.
“And what makes it worse is you hate me for looking like the man you so-called hate, but guess what, Ma? You love that nigga more than you love yourself because you’re still with him. You dislike me for being him but you give him all you have. Make that shit make sense.”
She remained quiet and I shook my head,
“You can’t because you’re fucking insane. I really don’t understand how you can love one son and not the other. I for sure don’t understand your twisted ass mind with me, knowing the way I love my daughter. There’s no way on earth I could even process doing the shit to her that you did to me.”
“You have a daughter…”
A small part of me felt hope and I hated that so much.
“Yeah, I have a daughter.” My mother lived a simple life. She didn’t do social media, and she avoided anything attached to my name, so it was possible she didn’t know.
“Just another reason I can’t love you. You have everything that he never will. It’s not fair, Omiri.”
“That’s how you feel? You’re really gonna hit me with that shit? It’s fuck me and my daughter?
“Can you please take care of your brother’s grave? I never ask you for anything, Omiri. Just do this one thing and you can go back to the life you don’t deserve.”
I chuckled dryly. “Yeah, I got it.”
She ended the call. No thank you, no fuck you, no kiss my ass. I wanted to feel something but I’d become numb where she was concerned years ago. This was where we were and this was where we would always be.
I was about to lock my phone but a text came through from Van letting me know Kameron’s people were pulling up at the house soon, which meant Makari would be occupied for a few hours.
So I decided to handle this thing with my brother so I could push that shit to the back of my mind and focus on moving forward with my life.
I couldn’t change the past but I couldn’t live here either.