Chapter Nine #2
She shrugs. “Don’t question the process, Rome. I’m a thrill seeker. Planes are just necessary evil death traps.”
Jalen chortles at that, completely enraptured by all that is Evie.
Micah nods his head with a smile. “She’s got a point.”
Rome lets out a laugh and holds his hands up in surrender. “Yes, ma’am.”
Micah and Troy head off to find the spots they want to jump from, while Evie takes her position on the pier and Jalen follows her.
Cortez, finally having found the highest point, announces his jump and does a backflip into the water, screaming like a bitch the whole way down. He receives a lackluster round of applause before Micah jumps next.
I look around, in awe of where we’ve ended up. “This is absolutely beautiful,” I sigh.
“Yeah, it is.” When I peer over at Rome, expecting to find him watching the scenery in front of us, I find him watching me instead.
“Rome,” I groan. When he looks at me like that, he makes me want things I can’t have. He makes me want it all.
“Just making an observation, J. That’s all.”
Needing to break away from the trance his stare has me in, I look away to catch my bearings. “Are you gonna jump?”
“Yep. The real question is, are you?”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Taking a leap doesn’t scare me, J. I’m just waiting to see where you stand on that.”
I glance between him and the water, knowing he’s not talking about cliff jumping but not knowing how to answer his question. “What if taking a leap terrifies me?”
Because it does. Rome terrifies me. Yes, the idea of Ri and my mom finding out and twisting the bond we shared into something ugly picks at my brain constantly, but the real fear?
The real fear is Rome himself. His dick has already branded my pussy making her useless to anyone else, including my damn self, and it’s only been a week.
If we keep going, I’m bound to catch feelings and then what?
We try to make it work in the real world where we barely have time to breathe as it is?
I have too much going on, too much I’m working toward to be able to afford the inevitable heartbreak Rome will bring me.
“My advice? Do it anyway.”
“That’s it? That’s your profound advice? If something scares you, do it anyway?”
“Yep. If you don’t do things that scare you, how can you say you’ve really lived? Me personally? I want to look back on my life and know I was brave enough to do the things that brought me joy despite the risks, even if they didn’t work out.”
Here he goes, making me question every decision I’ve ever made.
My thoughts drift to Labor of Love. I’ve spent over a year just thinking about making a move on it and yet I still haven’t.
Why? Because if I fail, I will not only have let myself down, but tons of Black women in need.
Sharing the expansion part of the idea with Rome gave it wings and yet the idea of going for it still makes me cower in fear.
“Jump with me, J.” He holds his hand out to me, waiting patiently.
I can’t answer him about the leap he really wants me to take right now, but I can give him this. I grab his hand and we back up to get a running start, diving into the waiting waters.
When we come up for air, Rome moves toward me with a determined gleam in his eye. I panic under his scrutiny, dipping my head under the water and holding my breath until my lungs constrict. When I break the surface, Rome’s nowhere to be found.
Rome’s words have haunted me since we left the tour, sticking to me like glue and infecting my every thought.
He kept his distance from me for the ATV ride back and I didn’t see him again until the group dinner. He excused himself to his room after, not interested in small talk with anyone.
We could very well spend the rest of this vacation together and then completely cut ties. We could attempt some semblance of dating after this, and it could all fall apart. But even if that happens, is that a reason to not enjoy each other while we can?
We get each other and we make each other feel good. I’m over here going through phantom orgasms and for what?
The answer that was so solid in my mind before is now muddy and unfocused.
I pull Evie to the side, wanting to unburden myself to the person I trust the most. “I need to tell you something.”
Her eyes practically jump out of her head. “Tell me, tell me.”
“I was sleeping with Rome for most of this trip.”
Her lids sink and her lips turn to a scowl. “Oh. I didn’t know we were filming another episode of ‘ Things I Already Know, ’ but okay. So?”
What the fuck? “What do you mean things you already know? How could you possibly have known?”
She crosses her arms. “Because I’m not a dumbass? Y’all have been giving off ‘ we ’ re fucking ’ vibes from the very beginning.”
“If that were true, how come everyone else doesn’t know?” Aside from Micah, but I don’t need to share that with her right now.
“I’m the only one paying attention, I guess. Also, I saw you come out of his room one night.”
“Evie! You could’ve told me that.”
She shrugs. “I was letting you live your best life. But trust and believe if you hadn’t told me the moment we got back home I would’ve pressed your ass. My question is why did you say ‘ was ’ like past tense?”
I fill her in on the arrangement we made and how it came to an end. She seems completely unaffected by my story, not bothering to ask any questions along the way.
“Well?” I urge, once finished.
“Well what?”
“Don’t you have anything to say?”
“I mean, what do you want me to say?”
“I don’t know what I want you to say. I just want you to say what you wanna say.”
She folds her arms across her chest. “You’re really bad at this game. Okay, follow-up question. Why are you telling me about this now?”
“Because I couldn’t hold it in anymore,” I offer.
“So, what is it you want from me?”
I sigh. “To tell me I made the right decision.”
She scoffs. “Or, maybe because you know me better than that, you want me to tell you to woman the fuck up and go for what you want. And maybe you’re wanting me to help cover for you since there are a lot more wandering eyes around now.”
I take a deep breath. I both hate and love when she reads me for filth.
“Maybe.”
“Well, are you waiting for me to say it again? I don’t do encores for free.”
I suck my teeth, rolling my eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I heard you.”
“And yet you’re still standing here with me instead of going to hop on that grade A dick.”
“Are you rushing me so you can go hop on the other Martin brother’s dick? Don’t think I didn’t notice the vibes y’all were giving off earlier. I thought you didn’t mess with guys with kids?”
She taps her foot in annoyance. “There were no vibes.”
“There were vibes.”
She taps her foot again. “No vibes.”
“There were vibes. You wanna know how I know?”
“How?”
“You didn’t even acknowledge what I said about you not dating guys with kids.”
She heaves out an exhausted breath. Evie normally has a better poker face than this, which is how I know Jalen has her flustered.
She can deny it all she wants but apparently these Martin brothers have a way of luring you into your web and holding on for dear life.
“Well, the man is six-foot-nine so it’s a little hard to see the red flags all the way up there, you know? ”
“I do know. So, you admit there were vibes.”
“There weren’t any damn vibes.”
“Mhm, so he’s not the reason you stopped trying to climb Micah like a tree?”
“No, I stopped trying to climb Micah because I’ve also been paying attention to the vibes he and Dani are giving off. I may be a hoe but I’m a loyal hoe so that’s dead. Now, I love you, but I’m over you. Go get your man and leave the rest of us dickless bitches in peace.”
So, I’m not the only one who noticed something up with those two. What the hell is happening to me and my girls? We cannot all go out like this.
Not wanting to waste another moment away from Rome, I chalk it up to my new motto—what happens in Tulum, stays in Tulum.
I wave goodbye to Evie and run to his room.
After I knock, he answers in a pair of sweats and no shirt. He takes in my blue floral bodycon dress with fire in his gaze. No words are exchanged as he steps aside to let me in. They aren’t needed. We let our bodies do the talking.