Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
Preston
I’d already ignored three calls from Grayson by the time Summit and I reached the trailhead. I hadn’t spoken to any of my brothers since being forcibly thrown out of dinner the night before. Something that had never happened before in the history of our family.
Truthfully, I would have expected it to be Reid who’d set that particular record. He was historically the grumpiest asshole in our group. But I guess I’d just never been pushed to my limit before.
And as much as I’d tried not to admit it, Jess Anderson had a whole lot to do with where my limit was.
My phone buzzed again against my thigh as I tightened my pack and let Summit out of the truck. I didn’t bother looking at the screen this time either. I knew exactly what he’d say. Or worse, what he’d ask.
You good?
Wanna talk?
You want company?
I didn’t want any of it.
I felt kind of guilty for ignoring Grayson, but after everything, and especially the confrontation I’d had with Jess, I wasn’t in the mood for anyone. Which was exactly why it was the perfect day for a hike.
The trail was quiet, the way these trails could only be when most of the world was at work, and the forest still belonged to those of us who knew how to disappear into it.
The puppy surged ahead, nose to the ground, tail wagging like everything hadn’t just blown up.
Lucky bastard.
I followed the little guy at a steady pace, and soon I lost myself in the methodical movement and the fresh, pine air. It was exactly where I needed to be.
Everything in the forest made sense.
By the time Summit and I hit the last switchback, my legs were burning, and my shirt was damp with sweat.
Good.
I’d been pushing hard. At least hard enough to quiet my head for a little while. I took a few minutes to enjoy the view out over the valley. Trickle Creek looked small from up here. The way I liked it and wanted it to stay. Without all the new developments and destroyed trail accesses.
Affordable housing.
The rise of tourism.
This town is nothing without the people, Preston.
Jess’s voice was back in my head.
Time to go.
The hike down the mountain didn’t take as long, especially because I pushed myself, once more working up a sweat in an effort to clear my head from thoughts of her again.
It didn’t work nearly as well the second time. By the time Summit and I reached the bottom, where the trail opened up to a small clearing next to the parking lot, whatever relaxing benefits I’d gotten from the hike were gone.
Summit immediately found a shady spot to lie down in while I took a long pull from my water bottle and got his little dish out, pouring out some water for him, too.
I still hadn’t been able to get Jess’s words out of my head.
You’re so busy running away and hiding in the forest that you can’t see what really matters because you’re scared.
“Hiding,” I muttered. “Right. I’m not hiding from anything.”
Except…maybe I was.
In the outdoors, life was simple. Clear an overgrown trail. Climb a mountain. Cruise a bike down a path, or make a new one if you have to. There weren’t any meetings. No votes. And nobody looking at you like you were the problem because you liked things the way they were.
“Dammit.” I kicked a rock into a nearby tree.
I stepped out of the trees and stopped short.
Grayson leaned against my truck, arms crossed over his chest, like he’d been waiting for a while.
“Seriously?” I shook my head. “You stalking me now?”
“You forget, Quinn made us all sign up for that find-my-friend app. You weren’t hard to find.”
I scowled at him.
“I knew you’d come down eventually.” He shrugged. “Either that or I’d have to come up. It’s been a while since I’ve had a good hike, so I wasn’t totally against the idea.”
I ignored him and pushed past him to yank open the door of the truck, but he didn’t move.
“Besides, you ignored four calls. I figured this was probably faster.”
Summit let out a happy bark and lunged toward him, tail wagging like he’d just found his new favorite person. Grayson crouched to greet the puppy with boundless energy, scratching behind his ears.
“Traitor,” I mumbled.
After a moment, Grayson stood and dusted off his hands. “So? You feel better now?”
“Should I?”
“You had a long hike. It normally helps.”
I ignored him and reached for my water bottle because it didn’t seem like he’d be going anywhere anytime soon. “I needed it.”
“Uh-huh.” He nodded knowingly. His calmness started to annoy me. “You always do when you’re pissed.”
“I’m not pissed.”
He raised a brow. Just one.
I sighed and opened the tailgate because he didn’t seem like he planned to get the hell out of my way anytime soon. “I’m fine.” I tossed my pack into the back with more force than necessary and hopped up to sit on the back.
“Sure you are,” Grayson said mildly. “That’s why you practically got in a fistfight with Brody last night and stopped answering your phone completely. Because you’re fine.”
I didn’t respond. What was the point?
Grayson moved around to join me at the back of the truck, watching me the same way he used to when we were kids and I’d sworn I hadn’t done anything wrong.
He had a way of getting the truth out of all of us.
I could never prove it, but I was pretty sure Mom just sent in Grayson to figure out who was responsible for whatever shenanigans had most recently gone down.
“This doesn’t have anything to do with the trails or that development you’re so opposed to, does it?”
“Why would you say that?”
He didn’t argue. Just waited.
We sat in silence until I couldn’t handle it anymore. I dragged a hand through my hair and looked toward the trees, contemplating the merit of making a run for it.
“Let’s just say,” I said finally, “I overestimated my ability to keep my shit compartmentalized.”
That got his attention. He cocked his head, listening.
“It was only supposed to be one night. It wasn’t supposed to mean anything.”
That really got his attention. “What was only supposed to be one night, Pres? What are you talking about?”
I dropped my head in my hands and tugged at the roots of my hair, giving myself a minute to decide how much to say. If I should say anything at all.
Fuck it.
“Jess,” I admitted. “And me.”
Grayson didn’t even bother trying to hide his shock.
“I didn’t mean it to happen, but…”
“It did?”
I nodded. “It sure fucking did.”
There didn’t seem to be any reason not to tell him, so I took a few minutes and, without any of the particulars, filled Grayson in on the recent shift in relationship dynamics between Jess and me.
“So Brody was right.”
I hated to admit it. Still, I nodded.
“You agreed to just one night?”
I nodded again.
“But it’s more than that to you?”
Again, I nodded.
“And her?”
“She voted yes,” I said, the words bitter on my tongue.
He didn’t say anything right away, but after a moment, he said, “Okay. But did she choose him?”
“What?” I looked up sharply. “That’s not what this is about—”
“Isn’t it?”
I shook my head, but Grayson wasn’t buying it. “She ran away from her wedding.”
“That doesn’t—”
“And you were the one she ran to.”
“That wasn’t intentional.”
“Maybe not consciously,” he agreed. “But it still says something.”
I clenched my jaw. “That doesn’t change the fact that when it mattered, she went against me.”
“Or maybe she made her decision independently of you.”
I growled. “That’s what she said.”
Grayson laughed. “Do you know what I think?”
I groaned. “I have a feeling you’re going to tell me whether I want you to or not.”
“Pull your head out of your ass, little brother,” he said without preamble. “You’re acting like a stubborn idiot, and you’re way too smart for that.”
“Screw you.”
“No,” Grayson said. “I don’t think so.”
I huffed a breath and glared at him until he laughed.
“I’ve never seen you so worked up, Pres.” He nudged me with his elbow. “And that’s how I know this really matters to you. So try thinking about it a different way, okay? Just for a second.”
He wasn’t totally wrong; I was being stubborn and idiotic, which didn’t even begin to describe my behavior. I knew that—I just couldn’t seem to stop.
“I don’t think you’re giving yourself enough credit,” he said after a moment, his voice softer.
I dropped my head. “I was stupid to think I could ever really mean anything to her.”
Grayson pushed off the truck and moved to stand in front of me. “Being enough doesn’t have anything to do with your worth, Preston.”
I didn’t respond.
“It has to do with choice,” he continued. “And right now, you’re the one deciding what her choice means. Shouldn’t that be up to her?”
He let that hang there a moment, then clapped a hand on my shoulder and stepped back. “Think about it.”
Grayson patted Summit on the head and walked off, leaving me there alone and with a truth I wasn’t quite sure what to do with.
Summit whined softly at my feet.
“Yeah.” I jumped down from the tailgate, and scratched the puppy behind the ears. “I know, buddy. I know.”