Chapter 9 #2
I dressed in denim Bermuda shorts and a white fitted tee.
After moisturizing and fluffing my curls, I added mascara to my lashes and gloss to my lips.
Large gold hoops topped off the look, and I sprayed some perfume.
I insisted on meeting Kastian at the dock rather than him picking me up from Tina’s house.
One of the most confusing things was trying to figure out what this was. A date?
As I climbed into my car, my phone rang from a number that I didn’t recognize. “Hello?”
“Persia when you got your things from the house did you happen to go in my closet?” It was David. He must have been calling me from someone else’s phone because I had blocked him.
“Why would I go in your closet?” I asked dryly. Him having the nerve to call and ask me about the money pissed me off. Money that he would rather keep than pay a debt to Kastian. Since he liked to play games, I was going to play too.
“Persia, I know you’re pissed with me. I can’t tell you sorry enough. I just couldn’t be comfortable giving Kastian everything I had.”
“But you were comfortable giving him your wife?!” I yelled.
“You were comfortable with me pretty much giving him everything I had while you hid money in the closet? You are a vile sack of shit. Please don’t call my phone again.
I’m going to file divorce papers tomorrow.
Take that fifteen grand off the tab of what you owe me.
” Kissing my teeth, I ended the call and tossed the phone onto the passenger seat.
My blood was boiling. Every time I thought of the fiasco with David and Kastian I became angry.
At least I knew when I was with Kastian I was safe.
He was a protector. The closer I got to my destination the more my anger dissipated, and the nervousness came back.
I had lost count of how many times I’d run into Kastian.
This time was planned, and I was sweating bullets.
I trusted that he wouldn’t hurt me. But I couldn’t trust myself not to become insanely aroused by him.
Twelve hours was a long time to endure temptation.
Releasing a groan, I found a park. I was just about to text Kastian and tell him I had arrived when I noticed a figure nearing my car through my peripheral.
I turned my head, and Kastian was trekking toward me dressed in black basketball shorts and a black shirt.
He was just as fine dressed down as he was in a suit. Damn.
Kastian opened the door for me, and I managed a small smile. “Thank you.”
“No problem. You good?” he looked me over. My nipples hardened as his eyes poured over every inch of my frame.
“Yeah, I’m good.”
“Good.”
I followed Kastian to a large white yacht and the closer we got to the massive boat, my jaw slacked. From where I was, I could see a spiraling staircase. The yacht had three levels. “This is your boat?” I attempted to clarify.
“Yes. I love the water. I love being by myself on the water. I come out here at least three times a month just to get peace. I can chill on this muhfucka for two- or three-days phone on DND.”
“I bet that’s nice.” Kastian stepped onto the yacht then grabbed my hand to help me.
“Anytime you want to come out just let me know. I’ll make it happen.”
I stared at the ocean as I swallowed hard.
For the millionth time I had to wonder what the hell I was doing.
My separation was super fresh. I was still hurt and feeling betrayed.
If Kastian had never been in love before, I doubted he would start with me.
Meaning, all he probably wanted was sex.
If he did, was that so bad? After being in a relationship for years, I was looking forward to being single.
Some women acted like being single was the worst thing in the world.
Maybe it was if she was single for too long, but I was looking forward to the peace.
Living alone would be different for me, but I was ready to experience it.
I didn’t want to have to consider anyone’s feelings or consult with anyone before I went out of town or went out with my girls.
Relationships could be beautiful. They could also be a pain in the ass.
“What you thinking about over there?” Kastian’s voice cut into my thoughts.
“Everything,” I sighed.
“Come think about everything over here.” He led me toward two lounge chairs. “You want something to drink? I have a fully stocked bar, water, fruit punch, lemonade, Sprite, and Pepsi.”
“I’ll take a bottle of water.”
“Coming right up.”
I made myself comfortable on the lounge chair and imagined what it would be like to be able to utilize the yacht whenever I wanted to.
That would only be possible if I remained in Kastian’s life.
Thinking was giving me a headache. I had no idea what Kastian had planned, but I didn’t want to think.
I’d been overthinking for weeks. He came back and passed me a bottle of water.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
Kastian pulled a blunt from behind his ear and a lighter from his pocket.
I never wanted David to remain in the streets.
I liked that he was a provider, but he could have been a provider with a legal job.
I spent the money he made from selling guns, but I knew he had so much more potential.
Kastian more than likely was able to buy a yacht because he sold drugs but who knew, maybe if he only did real estate, he would have been able to afford a yacht still.
I wasn’t trying to pocket watch. It just had to feel good to be able to do what you wanted when you wanted.
For me, peace was sitting on the beach. For Kastian, it was sailing on a yacht. That was dope.
I didn’t smoke, but I loved the smell of weed. Kastian smoked, and I attempted to get a contact high. We were silent for at least fifteen minutes, but it was the most comfortable silence I’d ever been in.
“Tell me something about yourself,” he finally spoke his voice strained from the weed smoke he was holding captive in his lungs.
“I’m a real estate agent.”
Kastian laughed. “You’re a smart ass. Noted.”
I turned to face him, and that was a mistake. The fact that it was even possible for him to look better was insane but with low eyes that man was downright scrumptious. My clit swelled, and I chastised myself for playing with fire the way that I was.
“There’s not a lot to tell really. I have one sister.
She’s three years younger than me. My parents are divorced.
My father left her for a white woman. Now, she’s lonely and bitter, and she tries to drill it into me and my sister’s heads to never trust men, and that they’re only good for providing. ”
Kastian laughed. “Damn. Straight like that, huh?”
“Straight like that,” I sighed.
“Did you take her advice? Or did you ignore her and fall in love with David?”
“I don’t feel right talking about my marriage with you. Maybe you didn’t force David to make the choice he did, but you started the domino effect of my marriage failing.”
“Nah, I can’t make that man a fuck nigga. He did that all on his own. Don’t blame it on me.”
“I didn’t fall. I mean, I liked him. He was charming, and he treated me well, but he wasn’t my soulmate. I was never madly in love with him. He was a provider, and he wanted to marry me while a lot of these men just wanted to have sex. I felt I’d be playing myself to pass him up.”
Kastian pushed out a chortle. “You played yourself marrying that cornball. It’s all good though. We all make mistakes.”
“I should have been like you? Never been in a relationship at my big ass age?” I rolled my eyes.
“You and Tesha have been talking about me I see. I’m not even mad. I’m flattered you asked about me.”
“How do you figure I asked about you?” I frowned.
“You didn’t?”
“No,” I lied and didn’t sound convincing at all.
Kastian chuckled. “Yeah aight.” Pausing he hit the blunt again.
He took his time exhaling, but I didn’t mind because it gave me a reason to just look at him.
Kastian was a pure work of art. “I just never saw the need to be in one. It wasn’t for me back then.
I never met a woman and fell madly in love with her to the point that I didn’t want another man to come snatch her up. ”
“Is that because you’re a robot that doesn’t have feelings, or is it because the women you meet are trash?”
Kastian’s head fell back as he released hearty laughter. “Maybe it is me.” He shrugged passively as if that reasoning didn’t bother him in the least.
“You want to be that guy that never got married or had kids? Oh wait, do you have kids?”
“Not yet. I want them though. I’m trying to have my first one in the next year, but that’s not working out so well.”
My brows shot up. I was all the way interested in what he was about to say.
“I’m getting older. I want children, but if I wait to fall in love, I might not get those kids. So, I’ve been trying to find a woman to have my child. One that I don’t have to be in a relationship with. She wants kids, I do too, and then we co-parent, and I take care of her financially.”
I had no clue how to respond to that, so I didn’t. All I could do was stare. Kastian chuckled and turned to lock eyes with me.
“You think that’s weird?”
“I mean, it’s intentional. You know what you want. It’s not like you’re out here sleeping with a bunch of women unprotected and just making babies everywhere. At least you have a selection process.”
“I guess. It’s turning out to be more stressful than it should be.
” Kastian gave his attention back to the large body of water we were cruising on.
“There’s this woman that I chose. Her father wants us to get married, but that nigga was pushing it.
He was always trying to push his daughter on me.
We got to know one another, and she told me she wanted to have my baby. So, I got her pregnant.”
A lump formed in my throat, and I didn’t even possess the strength to push it down. The thought of a woman carrying Kastian’s child made my chest tight. Which was absolutely absurd, but jealousy was inching through my veins.
“She had a miscarriage. Three miscarriages in two years. This last one, she was four months. That shit was killing her. Every loss she took it took a piece of her with it. I told her she needed to heal and wait a while before she tried to get pregnant again. She doesn’t care about her mind or body.
I think she wants to give me a child more than she wants one for herself and that’s crazy to me.
I just can’t figure out if that’s what love is, or if that’s what greed is. I don’t know if it’s me or the money.”
“Maybe it’s you.” My voice was low. Just above a whisper.
Turning to face me, Kastian sighed. “Maybe it is, but I’m sure she hates me now.
I can’t get her pregnant again. I don’t want that on my conscious.
But now, she looks at it as me discarding her because she can’t give me a kid.
I mean, I guess in a way it’s true, but I want a kid.
She can’t give me one right now. Am I supposed to bend on what I want? ”
“I guess not. It does seem a little cruel, but she signed herself up to be an incubator. I couldn’t imagine suffering three miscarriages. She definitely needs to heal.”
“Why didn’t you ever give cornball kids?”
I smiled even though I shouldn’t have. David had indeed proven himself to be a cornball and still every time Kastian referred to him as one I wanted to curse him out a little bit.
“First of all, I’m not giving a man a child.
I also didn’t want to get pregnant the moment I got married.
A child is a big deal. I wanted to be ready, and I wanted David out of the streets. That time never came.”
The silence resumed. We were both lost in our own thoughts.
I hated the way I was hyper focused on the fact that Kastian was out there slinging raw dick trying to put his seed in another woman’s womb.
I kept trying to think of things to say.
Questions to ask, but the words kept getting tangled in my throat.
As nervous as I’d been, I was surprisingly comfortable in Kastian’s presence.
“Let’s go inside.”
I didn’t realize how deep in thought I was until Kastian spoke.
He stood, walked around the lounge chair, came over to me, and extended his hand for me to grab.
When I stood, he didn’t immediately let my hand go.
As he held onto it, he peered into my eyes, and my coochie contracted.
It had barely been a full hour, and I was already spiraling.
I couldn’t even think of anything smart to say as we gazed at one another.
Finally, he released my hand, and I followed him into the lower level of the yacht.
There was an entire sitting room, bar, and kitchen area.
The soft sounds of Keith Sweat filled the space, and I looked around in amazement.
The yacht was literally a house on water.
Kastian walked into the kitchen area and opened the fridge.
I wasn’t sure what to do, so I sat on one of the barstools and drank my water while he took the lid off a container that contained an assortment of fruit.
After picking out a strawberry, his gaze lifted.
“Want some?” his eyes were damn near closed but practically piercing into my soul at the same time.
“No thank you.” The fruit looked delicious, but my nerves were all over the place. I was comfortable with Kastian but nervous about what I was doing. What we were doing.
I felt like a creep as I watched him eat fruit, but I couldn’t look away. We made eye contact as he bit into a piece of watermelon. My stomach caved in. My God, my God.
“You sure you don’t want some? This shit fye.” He took the piece of fruit he’d just bitten and placed it in front of my mouth.
Maintaining eye contact, I opened my mouth and let him feed me the fruit. It was insanely sweet and juicy.
“You think you’ll ever get married again?”
“Tuh.” I kissed my teeth and frowned. “I think I’m one and done. And I don’t have anything against marriage. I just…nah,” I shook my head and didn’t elaborate further.
I didn’t protest when Kastian fed me a strawberry.
He ate a few more pieces of fruit and put the container back in the fridge.
“We’re going to dock in about thirty minutes.
Go to a restaurant and get some food. We’re going to be out here for about four hours.
After that, you can decide how you want to spend the other eight. ”
“This was your plan. How are you going to leave it up to me?”
Kastian shrugged. “I can definitely take the lead. If you leave that up to me though, you have to follow.”
My brow hiked, but I didn’t respond. What the hell was I getting myself into?