Chapter 12 #2
I couldn’t answer her. My jaw muscles flexed as I gritted my molars.
Hesitantly, she inched closer to me. “You want to step outside for some fresh air?” her tone was soothing.
A nigga needed that. My nostrils flared.
Another indicator of my frustration. My legs felt like lead.
My heart wouldn’t slow down. It was pissing me off.
“Is it okay if I grab your hand? Let’s walk outside. I think some fresh air might help.”
My chest heaved up and down as Persia gently took my hand.
She led, and I followed. People walked past and greeted us, and all I could do was nod.
Barely. The moment the cool, crisp evening air hit my face my heart rate began to slow down.
Relief washed over me as I placed my back against the building.
“I’m going to go get you a bottle of water.”
All I could do was stare at Persia. She probably thought I was crazy as hell.
Either she was familiar with panic attacks, or she just knew how to soothe a nigga because she got me much calmer than I would have been able to do on my own.
It had been more than four months since I had a panic attack.
I hated them with a passion. What I hated the most was how unpredictable and random they were.
I could be in a whole shootout and not have a panic attack but being in a controlled setting with professional men and women had me spiraling.
The shit made me feel weak. Persia came back with a bottle of water and passed it to me.
I chugged down half the bottle. “Thank you.” With a shake of my head, I peered into her eyes. “You probably think I’m weird as fuck.”
Persia eyed me with a frown. “Why would I think you were weird? That was a panic attack?”
“Yeah.”
“Okayyyy,” she stated slowly. “Anxiety is common, and it’s not weird. Please.” She waved my comment off. “I’m glad you’re better.”
“Yeah, I’m about to be out. I don’t even have the mental energy to go back in there and smile and converse.”
“You good to drive?”
“Yeah, I can drive. Thank you.”
“Okay. Call me when you get home and let me know you made it safely.”
It was insane how I went from panic attack to aroused that fast. “Why don’t you come check on me yourself when you leave here?”
Persia chuckled. “I don’t have a problem with that, but are you going to be up for company?”
“For sure.”
“Okay. I’ll text you when I’m on the way.”
Once I was on the road, I pushed out a deep sigh.
I was glad that episode was over, and I prayed it would be months before I had another.
I hated having anxiety. Not knowing what all my triggers were was annoying.
Or maybe I did know and triggers like being in crowded spaces were irritating.
I was a grown ass man and being in a room full of people had me not able to breathe and shit.
I wasn’t upping the dosage of my Xanax, so I would just have to deal with the occasional melt down. At least I didn’t have them every day.
I showered before the gala, but a long hot shower when I got home was a must. I didn’t trust weed not to start my symptoms back up, so I settled for my medication versus that or alcohol.
Dressed in basketball shorts and a white tank top, I sat in my recliner and attempted to watch television.
Focusing was hard though. I wasn’t sure if I was embarrassed, frustrated, annoyed, or a combination of all three.
There were worse things I could have besides anxiety, but when I was in the midst of an attack it was crippling.
It didn’t take long for the medication to take effect.
I was relaxed. As soon as I began focusing on the TV my doorbell rang.
Knowing who it was already, I went to the door and opened it without checking first. Sure enough, pretty ass Persia was standing on the other side of the door. When our gazes connected, she smiled.
“You look a lot better.”
“I feel better.” Pulling Persia into my arms, I held her waist as I peered into her eyes.
I had women cater to me for sure because they knew I was a great catch, and they were trying to secure some kind of spot in my life. But I was confident that Persia took care of me simply because that’s who she was.
“Thank you for taking care of me.”
“I’m glad I could be of assistance.”
I brushed my lips across hers before giving her a few pecks.
My hold on her tightened as I suckled her bottom lip.
Persia obviously wanted me as badly as I wanted her because she reached inside my boxer briefs and began stroking my dick.
Placing a kiss on the corner of her mouth, I surprised myself.
“I want to taste you,” I murmured.
I led Persia to my bedroom and undressed her anxiously.
When my lips locked around her pearl, Persia gasped and rubbed the back of my head.
Sticky essence flowed onto my tongue as I moaned into her pussy.
One of Persia’s feet was flat on my back as I feasted on her kitty.
After spreading her slick folds, I ran my tongue down her center.
I stiffened my tongue before probing her center with it.
Persia grinded against my face, and I knew she was about to cum.
“Let that shit go,” I mumbled with a mouth full of pussy.
Persia’s body jerked as she had an orgasm that had her toes cracking.
I continued to devour her as she bucked against my face.
I wanted to fuck her so bad, but I thought with my big head and reached over to get a condom out of the nightstand.
Just because I wanted kids didn’t mean I was going to be reckless with it.
I was going to continue to be intentional about who had my child and when.
Once my dick was covered with the Magnum, I slowly pushed into Persia’s tight opening, and we moaned in unison. “Kastian,” she whispered my name while staring into my eyes.
“Say that shit again,” I commanded lowly while stroking her at a slow pace.
“Kastian, oh my God, baby,” she whined.
I crushed my lips into hers and pinned her arms above her head. Each stroke was a little harder and a little deeper than the one before as our tongues intertwined. Every time Persia moaned into my mouth it did something to me. Pulling out of her, I slapped my hard dick on her clit twice.
“Get on top,” I panted.
Persia did as I requested, but she got on top of me in the reverse cowgirl position. With her forearms on the bed, she twerked on the dick giving me an amazing view of her ass. “Do that shit,” I moaned as I smacked her ass as hard as I could.
I wanted to close my eyes, but I also wanted a good view of the show she was putting on.
When she started throwing her ass in a circle, I moaned like a bitch.
Persia sat up straight and tall and rode me like a professional equestrian.
When she placed her feet flat on the bed and began to bounce up and down on the D, I bit my bottom lip.
“Just like that,” I moaned. “Just like fucking that.”
I sat up and began to kiss, lick, and bite on her back.
I must’ve hit her spot because her body jerked, and she came.
Her loud moans, and the way her pussy had a vice grip on my dick made my seeds spill into the condom as I pushed out a low groan.
Persia lifted off me and turned around. She straddled me again, leaned down, and snaked her tongue into my mouth.
Without breaking the kiss, I removed the condom, flipped her on her back, and pushed back into her.
I was going to fuck her until I couldn’t get it up anymore.