Chapter 19 Persia #2
“We can’t even speak to each other now?”
I gave him a forced smile. “Hello.”
I reached for the doorknob, and he stopped me again. That aggravated me, and I stepped back with a frown.
“Damn, it’s like that.”
“Like what?” My scowl deepened. “The last time I saw you was a month ago in Miami. You haven’t cared to pick up the phone and say one word to me but now, we’re supposed to be on some fake buddy buddy shit? Please go to hell.” I reached for the doorknob again, and he stopped me for the third time.
“Tesha doesn’t want it to be weird. I don’t want it to be weird.
We’re here to celebrate her accomplishment.
I don’t want her regretting the fact that she invited both of us.
I’m sorry for how I acted in Miami. It was childish.
Can we just move past that and at least treat one another like associates and not enemies? ”
The fact that he wasn’t even trying to rekindle what we had was like a punch to the gut. He looked me in my face and said we should be associates. I wished I hadn’t come. I should have stayed home. Swallowing down a lump that felt the size of a golf ball, I blinked back tears.
“You got it, Kastian.”
That time he let me walk outside. I took a large sip of tequila.
I was going to give it another hour. I couldn’t fake it much longer than that.
I wanted to support Tesha, but my heart was hurting, and it was hurting bad.
By the time the cup was empty, I was drunk and feeling a little better.
Despite the fact that one of Tesha’s cousins was even drunker, and she wouldn’t get out of Kastian’s face.
The flirting was teetering on sexual assault.
My face burned, and my chest felt tight.
If that was how he felt knowing that I was still talking to Omar, I could see why he acted the way he did.
Kastian wasn’t my man, but I was insanely jealous.
It didn’t feel good at all, and I just wanted to leave.
When the food was ready, I focused on that. I didn’t even really have an appetite, but I had drunk a lot, and I didn’t want to be sick. The more Brian drank, the more he wouldn’t stay out of my face. Kind of like Tesha’s cousin with Kastian.
“The food good?” he asked sitting beside me.
“The food is amazing,” I stated truthfully. Brian could throw down, and out of all the food that I had piled on my plate everything was delicious. I ate three deviled eggs in less than a minute and wanted more, but I didn’t want to appear greedy.
“Brian, what up G?” a familiar voice made goosebumps prickle my arms.
“What up, Kastian? I haven’t seen you in a minute.”
“Just out here working hard. How is Yolanda? Y’all still together?”
I looked over at Mr. Single As A Dollar Bill with raised brows.
The way his mouth fell open in shock had me stifling a laugh.
He couldn’t believe that Kastian had ratted him out.
Kastian wasn’t even the snitching type. If he was bothered that meant that let’s be associates line he used was a crock of bull.
“Yeah, we’re still together,” Brian mumbled so low that I could barely hear him.
“Tell her I said hello.”
With that, I stood up to go inside and throw my plate away. I felt I had done good, and I was ready to go. Tesha had already opened her gifts, and I’d been there for more than two hours. “Where you going?” Kastian grabbed my arm.
“You have a bad habit of touching me when I don’t want to be touched,” I pointed out.
“Can I just talk to you in private for a minute? Why you gotta be so difficult?”
“Difficult?” I repeated the word appalled. “You have a lot of nerve, Kastian.”
“Can we just go into the front yard or sit in my car and talk for two seconds?”
I rolled my eyes, but I didn’t say no. He let me go, and I sauntered into the house.
I didn’t want to leave without telling Tesha bye, but I was mentally drained on top of being drunk and full.
I just wanted a shower and my bed. After throwing the plate and my cup in the trash, I walked toward the living room, through the foyer, and out of the door.
Less than a minute later, Kastian joined me on the porch.
“We can talk right here. We don’t need to go to your car.” My tone was filled with conviction because I meant what I said. As much as I missed him and his dick, I wasn’t going to just sleep with him because he was being nice. Lord knows it was good, but I refused to be pressed for it.
Kastian released a sigh filled with frustration. “You told me what it was from day one. You did. I didn’t expect to fall for you and on top of that have the feelings not be mutual. That messed me up a little bit. I can be man enough to admit it.”
Just like that, my dumb ass was ready to fold. I still had a frown on my face, but the ice around my heart was melting. I could relate to the jealousy he felt when he found out I was still talking to Omar. Words of understanding and forgiveness were on the tip of my tongue when he spoke again.
“I don’t like not having you in my life. If the only way I can have you is as a friend for real without hope for something more, I’ll have to take that. And before you make your decision, it’s only fair to tell you that I have a baby on the way.”
I couldn’t breathe. It felt as if he punched me in the chest. He had been busy while we weren’t talking. My stomach caved in. I already knew the tears were going to come, so I tried to walk away. When Kastian grabbed me that time, I tried to jerk away from him.
“Get the fuck off me!” I hissed.
“Persia, stop running from me. We gotta talk like adults.”
“Like you did in Miami?” I shot at him. “Fuck outta here. Now you want to be mature. You have a baby on the way. Boy fuck you. Get off me.” I attempted to jerk away, but his grip on my wrist tightened.
“Persia please can you hear me out?”
“No the fuck I can’t! You got me fucked up. Just leave me alone.” I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing.
Angrily, I brushed away the salty liquid that had spilled over my eyelids. Kastian wrapped his arms around me from behind, and I broke down. I stood there sobbing uncontrollably while he held onto me with all his might.
“Let me go,” I sobbed. The cat was out of the bag. I had feelings for him too because the thought of a woman having his baby straight messed me up. I was too devastated to be embarrassed.
Struggling, I made the effort to get away from him, but he only squeezed tighter. “I’m so sorry, Persia,” he spoke into my ear. “Baby. I’m sorry. It wasn’t planned; the condom broke. I fell for you, P. I fell so hard for you, and you weren’t there to catch me. That shit did something to a nigga.”
“That’s not fair!” I struggled to get out of his grasp.
“Let me go before I scream at the top of my lungs. Good luck to you and your baby mama. I hope your life is filled with blessings and abundance,” I replied wholeheartedly.
I could never bring it upon myself to wish harm on another person or a child.
Kastian finally let me go. When he released the hold it had on me, it was like a hard smack to the face.
I had begged him to let me go, but when he finally did, it felt like betrayal.
I was drunk, and my emotions were all over the place.
I just wanted to go home, but my keys were inside.
Kastian just stood there staring at me, and I hated it.
More than I hated how I felt about him, I would hate for Tesha and her friends and family to see me in the state that I was.
“Can you please get my key off the kitchen counter?” I croaked.
“Yeah.”
I watched Kastian walk toward the house with a terrible ache in my chest. My gut was churning, and I could only pray that I didn’t throw all the food that I’d scarfed down up.
He could have kept that news to himself.
I could have kept my ass home and told Tesha I couldn’t make it.
The one thing that I knew for certain was no matter how much I tried to challenge my mother’s advice, I could guarantee that if I was only focused on money with no feelings involved, I wouldn’t be outside crying like an idiot.
Kastian came back with my key. One thing I could admit was that his eyes were filled with regret. Maybe he didn’t mean to get someone pregnant, but he had. And I simply couldn’t take it.