Chapter 24
KASTIAN
As soon as the call connected, I smiled. “Hey, baby.” It was the first time that I’d been able to call Persia. I’d been locked up for a week.
“Hi. How are you? I mean, I’m sure that’s a dumb question.”
I chuckled. “I’m better after seeing you today. You looked good as fuck, baby. Damn I miss you.” Seeing her in a crème pants suit looking like a bad ass boss had my dick hard in that courtroom.
I had gotten word to my mother and my sister about how I felt about Persia, and they found her in the courtroom, and they all sat together. That made a nigga feel good.
“Thank you. The woman that was crying-“
I didn’t even let her finish. “Toya. The woman I got pregnant three times. I haven’t been in contact with her.
I don’t even know how she knew about my court date.
” I honestly didn’t. I was shocked to see Toya in that courtroom, and I wasn’t mad that she came.
I just hoped Persia knew I hadn’t been on no funny shit.
“I believe you.”
“She might have been crying because she saw that big ass rock on your finger. Where that come from?” I was only able to get a glance of the ring, but I was shocked to see that she had one on.
“Tik Tok shop,” Persia giggled. “I want people to think I’m married, so men will leave me alone. I wear it everywhere. Except the shower.” That got a laugh out of me.
“I like that.” And I did like the gesture, but it made my heart heavy. I didn’t want Persia waiting years for me. She had already wasted too many years of her life married to a lame. I didn’t want more years wasted on me. That was another conversation for another day, however.
“They’re finally letting me have visits next week.”
“I know. I’m going to wait for your mom and sister to come and then I’ll visit.” I could hear the sadness in Persia’s voice, but she was trying to keep it together for me.
“Don’t be sitting over there crying every day. Please.” Her being miserable broke my damn heart. There were times I wished I had left her alone. I hounded her so hard about being with me only for it to end up in disaster. That was on me, and I felt like shit for it.
“I don’t. I promise. Of course, I’m sad, but I’m trying to hold everything together. Work is busy. That’s good thing.”
“You being the only broker in charge there, is it too stressful?”
“No, not yet. I’ll let you know if I need help. Kastian, the bank account. That wasn’t necessary. Thank you, but you didn’t have to.”
“I know I didn’t. I’m your man until you say I’m not. And as your man, you’re good whether I can physically be there or not.”
“What do you mean until I say you’re not? You going to do something to make me say that? Because if not, then I’m not going anywhere.”
“We’ll see, babe.” It wasn’t that I didn’t believe her. I wholeheartedly believed that she believed what she was saying. I just couldn’t see her feeling the same in two or three years, but only time would tell.
Persia and I talked for the rest of the allotted time.
When the call ended, I called her back, and we spoke for another fifteen minutes.
Talking to her made me feel good, but it also made my heart heavy at the same time.
All I wanted to do was suck on that pussy then fuck her to sleep.
I wanted to go to sleep with my face buried in the crook her neck inhaling her scent.
I waited my whole life to meet Persia. That shit was crazy.
I didn’t have high hopes for the outcome of my case, but what I did know was I had to get through it. There was no other choice.
When I ambled into the visitation room a week later and saw Persia a nigga felt soft as baby shit.
All I could do was smile at her sexy ass.
Contact was supposed to be very limited, but I didn’t care.
I was hugging her, and I wasn’t making it quick.
There were the regular bullshit CO’s that didn’t care how fine or paid a man was, they weren’t going for it, and they worked overtime to prove their authority.
But there were the few that were still human at the end of the day, and when the women were attracted to you, you could always tell.
Most of the men hated my guts or any other man’s guts that was on everything on the streets they’d never be.
Power or not, they knew how far to take it with me.
I knew all eyes were on Persia because she was bad and looking like money. “Damn I miss you,” I squeezed her tight before pecking her lips. I pulled away before I had to curse a dumb ass officer out.
“I miss you too.”
Once we were seated, I grabbed Persia’s hand and eyed the ring on her finger.
I had spent enough money on real diamonds to be able to spot a fake.
Of course, I would have known it was fake if she hadn’t told me, but from a distance and to people that didn’t know jewelry like that, they’d assume it was real.
“I like this.”
“Thank you,” she smiled.
I peered into Persia’s face, and my heart began to drum in my chest as I took her in. Her face. Her body. I sat back, and she sat up before shifting uncomfortably in her seat. “Persia.” That was the only word I could get out.
She swallowed hard, but she didn’t respond.
“Tell me what’s good.” My tone was low. I couldn’t tear my gaze away from her full face. I had to be tripping.
“What’s good, is you got me good,” she chuckled with tears glistening in her eyes. “I found out yesterday.”
I placed both hands on my head and stared down at the table.
Life knew how to take me through the ringer that was for damn sure.
I should have expected it with the way my life had been going.
I couldn’t be fully unhappy but the circumstances…
.fuck! When I finally lifted my head, a lone tear was running down her cheek.
Reaching over, I wiped it away with the pad of my thumb.
“Don’t do that.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. I’m the one that’s sorry, baby. I just keep fucking up. I should have been pulling out. I’m selfish as fuck. The thought of you doing this alone is pissing me the fuck off.”
“I won’t be alone,” she grabbed my hand and reassured me. “I have my sister and my friends. I’ll have your mom and sister.”
Yeah, she would, but none of them were as good as me, and I stood on that.
I’d miss every doctor’s appointment, the birth, his or her milestones.
All because I couldn’t pull out of the pussy.
I was beyond frustrated with myself but didn’t want Persia to think I wasn’t happy about her being pregnant.
My entire mood was blown. I’d be worrying about her even more than I already was.
Toya lost our babies. Doll’s pregnancy never grew into a viable one.
Now that I was locked up, I was willing to bet money that Persia would carry my baby with no issues.
Because life liked to throw curveballs like that.
Funky ass bastard. I pulled at the collar of my shirt because it felt like it was choking me.
Focus, nigga. You can’t do this shit in here.
Persia squeezed my hand. “It’s going to be okay.”
The strength that she was exhibiting was mind blowing. I expected her to be a mess, but my shorty was standing tall. She didn’t have to be strong for me, but I’d rather see her like this than to be inconsolable. I was the man. It was my job to comfort her, but she was comforting me.
“I’m sorry.” That was all I knew to say.
“You have nothing to be sorry for and if you apologize one more time, I might bop you upside the head,” she smiled.
“I was content with life before. I wasn’t madly in love.
For some reason, was hesitant to have kids with David.
Life was far from perfect or ideal, but I was happy.
Now, I can see that I was settling. Life got better.
Way better. And even if better only lasted a little while, I wouldn’t trade meeting you for anything in the world. Shit happens, right?”
“How did I get so lucky?” I peered into her eyes and was dead serious.
Persia had pretty much altered the way I viewed life.
Despite the circumstances, I had to thank God that none of the other pregnancies worked out.
It was very possible to raise a child in a co-parenting relationship and have everything work out.
But conceiving a child out of love and being there with the mother, was ten times better.
Even though I couldn’t actually be there.
“You were a relentless asshole that went after another man’s wife.”
“And I’d do it again.”
Persia smiled. Her smile warmed my heart.
I wasn’t sure how, but I had to make this right.
Ratting wasn’t an option. Even if I had to do some dumb ass time, I’d never make her regret giving me a chance or holding me down.
There were women that ran out on a nigga as soon as the judge banged the gavel.
I couldn’t even say they were wrong. Expecting someone to do that time with you was a lil’ unrealistic and selfish.
But if the woman insisted, what could a nigga do?
I wasn’t going to turn her away. Not when I needed her.
Never been weak a day in my life, but the only way this bid wouldn’t eat me alive was if Persia didn’t turn her back on me.
Even if she found another man later in life, it would kill me.
But as long as she still let me see that smile or hear that angelic voice every now and then, I’d have a reason to keep pushing.
If she did end up with someone else before my bid was over, he better be a damn good man.
Because as soon as those gates opened, I was coming for her, and the only way I would let up was if she refused to come with me.
We took a picture together then talked nonstop until visitation was over.
When I stood to hug her, I saw the pain in her eyes, and I felt like a piece of shit.
I couldn’t even console her the way I wanted to.
This shit was fucked up. And though it was nobody’s fault but mine that I chose to break the law, each time I saw Persia sad or saw her cry, I wanted to kill Ray Ray and Ryder with my bare hands.