Chapter 36
P-2,
Thanks for your note. I’m actually proud to think I helped with your work issue. It’s good to feel like I have something to offer these days.
I’m sure, by this point, you think I’m simply a pain in the ass. Hell, you might even be regretting moving in next to a guy like me but take heart in the idea that I won’t live forever.
I’ve been doing a lot of self-reflection lately – and I appreciate that you have been so courteous to keep me alerted of your plans. I don’t know if I would have done the same if I were in your shoes. I’m sure that says something about my character as well as yours.
No doubt you’ve heard a lot about me from others, mostly complaints, but at the end of the day, I don’t think I’m a bad guy. Truth be told, I don’t think about how others view me at all. Mostly because I don’t care. Never have. You know what they say about opinions. However, the world is a whole different place from when I grew up, and right now it’s all about feelings and self-awareness and being kind to everyone, even the assholes.
So since you say you’re having some men struggles, at work or in life in general, maybe this might help. A few classic truths, if you will. Brace yourself.
Plus it might help the two of us understand one other better too.
1.
Most guys value recognition for their abilities, achievements and contributions. Feeling respected is a powerful motivator and when you start to get the feeling you’re being brushed under the rug, it pisses you off. That’s where I have been existing lately and it’s not fun.
2.
While it may not appear to be the case with me, I can assure you that guys also value connection with other people, even if society likes to suggest otherwise. Yes, we express this need differently compared to women, but we still want to be supported by the people in our lives. It’s hard to feel happy when you feel ignored or taken for granted.
3.
We have to have a purpose. Doesn’t matter what it is … career, family, some hobby, whatever. It’s important. But it has to be authentic. Not contrived or for validation. Probably the biggest problem I have with the way the world works now. Everything is fake – all made up for show to impress other people. I value truth.
4.
Yes, we men can be emotionally complex. Might not look like it on paper, but we are capable of a wide range of emotions. But again, the world looks down on guys who emote too much. So, a lot of times instead, we just shut down – and are judged for that too.
5.
We have just as much drive for success as anyone – regardless of age. We still want to win. But the older you get, the more that gets overlooked. The older you get the more you get forgotten about.
6.
Guys like me oftentimes get lumped into that category especially. That we are focused only on ourselves and selfish. I suppose this can be true at times, but I believe in helping other people – and I’ve slowly come to the realization that maybe you do too.
Well, that’s a lot of words, I know. But I wanted to thank you for being so considerate lately and letting me know you care. And to tell you that the same applies in return. If you happen to need advice on anything else, let me know and I’ll try my best to help.
P-1
PS There’s a board meeting at the end of the month and I’m gonna ask them to pull back on the legal stuff. Try to persuade them that maybe you’re exactly the kind of person this place needs, after all.
Oh wow.
Hannah’s eyes filled with tears once she’d finished reading Ed’s latest note, found beneath the door when she got home from work. Given the week she’d had, it truly couldn’t have come at a better moment.
She’d heard nothing from Rob since. The golf tournament was this weekend though, so maybe he’d decided to wait until he was in town before reaching out to her again.
Or not at all.
As it was, she’d had little choice but to set aside her monumental embarrassment, which Hannah was almost certain had been predicated by that errant wandering stray. She’d kept all windows closed in the apartment since then.
Her client list was growing larger by the day, as were the number of alerts on her phone and the size of her workload. While yes, she was keen to impress at the new office, she was now starting to regret her earlier enthusiasm and agreement to tackle such a time-sucking client list.
In short, the pressure was starting to get to her.
So to know that Ed next door had finally come around, and she had one less thing to consider and was safe in the knowledge that she could remain in Courtney’s apartment without worrying about further neighbourly missteps, was a huge relief. She was sure the influencer in turn would be over the moon that Hannah’s little overtures had essentially smoothed the way for her problematic lawsuit to disappear too.
Finally, something was looking up.
She read back through the note (though this one was more of a letter), touched and intrigued too by Ed’s list of truths about men.
Six classic truths, mirroring the Classic Six in which they both resided. She chuckled, wondering if that was intentional; she’d already got the sense that he was a wry and witty old soul, and a lot smarter than he pretended to be.
Regardless, she fully intended to use some of these intergenerational nuggets of wisdom when it came to the men in her life, her ex too. Maybe some straight-talking to Rob had been long overdue and the cat had done her a favour after all?
One male in particular for whom the majority of Ed’s advice resonated though, was of course, Ward McKenzie. A bit of a relic himself by all accounts, though Hannah truly was getting a much better handle on the hockey player these days.
Perhaps too much, she mused, blushing afresh, as she once again replayed in her mind their heated encounter outside the podcast place that morning, when at one point during their bickering she was almost certain (hopeful?) that Ward was going to kiss her.
But that was crazy, wasn’t it? She barely knew the guy. To say nothing of the fact that he was off-limits. No, her stupid imagination was working overtime, as was Ward McKenzie’s more down-to-earth appeal, much the same way it had that day she’d bumped into him at the coffee place.
The tough-guy macho facade she could handle. It was the softer, vulnerable, more human side – the real him – that made her feel so discomfited. And since this very side was the one Hannah was actively working to bring to the forefront, she knew she’d better snap out of it, fast.
She’d worked hard enough to disentangle herself from the disaster she’d been central to on the other side of the country.
So what she needed to do now was focus her efforts on getting Ward McKenzie’s image in shape and further down her list of priorities.
And try her damnedest to ensure that she didn’t get caught up in any similar messes this side too.